Question - Maplewood,NJ

It is not okay to lie about your residence for several reasons. First, accessing a program for community residents when you do not live there is not only lying, but it is also stealing. Second, you will also be asking your children to lie. If the preschool teacher wants to do a lesson on safety and they ask each child to bring in their phone number and address to "learn"- what will you do? You are sending a bad message and setting a precedent that your children are old enough to pick-up on.

If you cannot afford childcare and tuition, then this is not the right time to go back to school. Private schools do not often barter, so I would not count on that as an option. Based on their ages, if you wait two more years they will both be in school full day eliminating the additional expense, assuming you will access public education.

You may consider taking classes and paying for a babysitter, which will likely cost you $10-$15/hour. Without an income right now, you should focus your resources on your immediate needs and pursue your education when you can do so without adding to your financial burden.

is there a daycare on the campus where you will be attending school? Many campuses do have daycares or babysittin services that are either free or based on a sliding rule. Could you find a couple other moms who are also in school and split up the responsibiltiy of babysitting? If you get caught in this "web of deception" will you lose out on daycare and be stuck without coverage - probobly - could they make you pay back? If you have to ask if this is wrong . . . you probobly already know that it is.

Hi Tiffany.

I see you need some help. Not sure but have you ever thought about hosting an aupair to help you with your childcare needs? This way your kids can be cared for in your home. It is flexible and affordable. The aupairs can work up to 45 hours per week and you set the schedule. The aupair would have to have a private room in your home and live with you like a family member. I work as a local aupair coordinator for a leading aupair agency and should you have any questions please let me know. You will not be charegd any money up front, not before you match with an aupair and before she is about to arrive to you. We offer payment plans as well and you will have a local coordinator to help you through the year and follow up with you to be your support. Please check out our web site shoud you think this might be something for you. www.aupaircare.com I will be glad to help should you have questions. Best of luck!

Yes it is wrong to lie and it is especially wrong to take a space in a free program from a mom who may be single and have to work to put food on her table. If you want to go to school do it at night like many other moms do or check out an online course which is how I finished my degree. If you are a stay at home mom why don't you look for a co op preschool they are less costly because moms help out as teachers assistants to keep costs down. What will you do when they teach your kids their address in preschool teach your children to lie as well. Sorry but I think it is wrong and deceptive I know times are tough but that is not an excuse.

Tiffany, I agree with what the first response stated. It is wrong to lie even if you think it may benefit your family in the end. I hope you'll be able to come up with an alternative solution rather than having to fall back on not telling the truth.
Good job on wanting to finish your degree. That is a great thing to want to do. Maybe you could research taking classes at night or finding some at home work to bring in income.

Hope it turns out all right for you. Truly I do.

~A.