Puberty - Novi,MI

Updated on October 12, 2012
M.F. asks from Fort Mill, SC
12 answers

Good Day all.

My daughter is 9 and we have just learned that her friend has recently had her first period at the age of 10. I was not prepared at all to have this conversation so early but it seems like more and more girls are starting sooner than when I was a kid.

She has also began to grow a tiny bit of pubic hair. It's in the peach fuzz stage but it's there for sure. I literally learned that this morning AFTER I asked her.

I don't want to traumatize my kids but I do want to have "the talk" with them.

My question is...Do you have any tips, advice, or good books for both myself and my daughter on the subject.

I am mainly interested in the physical and emotional changes that will be happening and not so much interested in talking about baby making just yet. Surprisingly...even after the birth of our now 17 month old son...neither daughter has asked very many questions about it! They were satisfied with my answer of "God put him in my belly."

Please make no mistake...I do intend to speak with them about sex and the emotional and physical aspects of what can result from having sex....all that stuff. I just don't think that a 9 year old 4th grader needs to know all that just yet.

So, tips, advice, books on talking to my daughter about menstruation and body changes. My daughter doesn't ask a lot of questions, and I want to make sure I cover all my bases.

I learned about my body through a program at school. At the age of 30, and after birthing three children, I am STILL learning!

Thanks so much in advance :)

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answers from Reno on

The care and keeping of you. My daughter is 10 and this book is GREAT. opens the door to a great conversation. Good luck to you

2 moms found this helpful

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answers from Albany on

Are You There God? It's Me Margaret, by Judy Blume is perfect for that age and that subject matter. My daughter loved it.

Anyway, she probably already knows way more then you think she does. You might start by asking her WHAT she knows. You might be surprised at how fast and how young they are misinformed.


3 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Another vote for the American Girl book "The care and keeping of YOU." It is geared toward girls in the 9-12 range and is very matter-of-fact. It covers a wide range of topics about puberty - everything from how to wash your face to braces to maxi pads. ;) My daughter has read it cover to cover, and she did have some additional questions afterward, which I answered. I tried to keep my answers short and sweet and not go into TOO much detail. Mostly, even though I personally think having my period is gross, I didn't want her to feel that way (I'm sure she can come to that conclusion all by herself, hahaha). So I just explained why the body does this, how long it lasts, how often it happens, and what her options were for dealing with it (pads, tampons, cup, etc). I had been dreading that talk for years, but in reality, it wasn't bad at all. She was just curious about the changes her body is going through, and once she had the info she had been wondering about, her curiosity was satisfied. We have also not had the birds and the bees talk; I agree, this age is pretty young for that. She understands the basics of reproduction, but I certainly haven't spoken to her about birth control or anything like that.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Honolulu on

The "American Girl" series of books. All topics. GOOD.
My daughter is also 9... gonna be 10 this year. She likes these books.

Yes, some girls get their periods even at 9 years old.

Oh and get this... I had earlier been talking w/my daughter about these things, in a paced way. Not all at one time. THEN... my HUSBAND tells me... how he has "already" told my daughter about all this stuff! Oh geez... he didn't even tell me nor my daughter. Good grief.
My Husband was so proud. I was too sort of, him being a guy and everything but talking with my daughter. I just wished I knew. I think he did it all in one conversation.

And yes, at my daughter's school too, they have a class for the 5th graders about their body... but boys and girls separately.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

I think a good place to start would be to ask her if she has any questions and find out what she knows already.

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answers from Philadelphia on

Run out and buy "The Care and Keeping of You" by American Girl books. Run. Now. Go on.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

My daughter is only 5 but I was reading about another mom who was dealing with this and everyone recommended a certain book so I went on Amazon and bought it for future use. Right now it just sits on the shelf, but in the future I'm sure I will be glad I have it. It is WAY too detailed for a 5 year old, but would be a great resource for an older child. It covers how to care for yourself and the things that change as they grow older. It covers everything from haircare to fitness to eating right to, of course, the dreaded period.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Saginaw on

I agree the American Girl book is the best!
and I freaked out too! My daughter is 12....and started "changing" around 10.
BUT....she has not started her period yet....but holy cow the rest of her is out of control. she's about a 32B right now...but still wears little girls size 12 slim pants? LOL fun shopping with her...we get to go to Justice AND Victorias Secret! hahahaha have some time on the period I think...but everyone is different.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Hartford on

When my eldest daughter turned 8 years old I gave her the American Girl book "The care and keeping of YOU." She's 12 years old now and she still loves that book. She started her period a year ago, a month after she turned 11. Her book is tattered and worn and she's very attached to it.

I know that she's allowed my nearly-10 year old to look through it, but my middle daughter just isn't that interested. I've had discussions with her about puberty, and they always end up bothering her because she wants to stay a little kid forever. She might not like it, but she's informed and can deal with it. And when I say "upset" what I mean is "disappointed" that it'll happen at all and she's vehement about it. She tends to think that all bodily functions are just gross and not fascinating.

My 7 year old is ready for her own copy of "The care and keeping of YOU." She can't wait for "pooburrdee."

We've always been open and honest about the bodily and biology stuff. It's not embarrassing or shameful to them. And after all this time, with children who want to talk about everything, nothing shocks me any more with them.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

I'm of the mindset that there should never be one set "the talk". "The talk" should be ongoing, through the years, and age-appropriate. A 9-year-old needs to know about her body, I'm a bit surprised you haven't addressed these things with her already. American Girl makes a good book that my 8-year-old loves, I think it's called "The Care & Keeping of You". It educates them about their bodies but doesn't go into actual 'sex' education. I read it first, and I thought it was appropriate for my daughter.

My daughter already knows what sex is. She asked me, I told her. I guarantee you that your daughter has heard more from other people than you think she has.



answers from Detroit on

Don't have any tips to make 'the talk' easier. But it is alarming at how kids are entering puberty at younger and younger ages. I have a feeling it's connected with a lot of the hormones that are used in a lot of what people eat. Just a thought.



answers from Atlanta on

I got my period at age 10, so that's not really anything new.

As far as "the talk" - by the age of 9 I knew much more than my mother would have thought. Most kids do. There is already much talk about it amongst kids on the playground. She's probably not as out of the know as you think. So she may as well get accurate information from you than be "educated" on the playground.

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