Ptsd

You might want to talk to him about putting some distance with his mom while he goes to counseling. You need to be very supportive of him during this time and do whatever you can to keep him going to counseling. My hubby will be doing that when he gets back from being deployed. Good luck to the both of you and I hope things work out. (You might want to talk to him about telling his mom that this is very important for him to do and if she isn't going to be supportive, she needs to butt out. You don't want her making things worse for you all).

J.,

Get some articles on PTSD - there are a bunch of current ones esp regarding PTSD and war veterans. Encourage your husband to go see someone and go with him for support. Give the articles to his mother so she can read them. Getting help is crucial! If there is a support group, have his mother go too.

L.

J.,

My husband is in the military as well. He's been to Iraq but thankfully wasn't sent out into the field. I can't imagine what you must be going through. I struggled with my husband being in Iraq and he didn't go into the field.

Your husband should DEFINITELY get help with his PTSD. These services are available through the military for the veterans for a reason. I'm assuming that he is also young and it would be a shame for him to go through the rest of his life battling this disorder when he can get help. He risked his life and fought for our country don't let him waste the rest of it by having to battle daily with an issue that he can get treatment for.

My prayers are with you and your husband. We as spouses of soilders have our own battles at home keeping the family together during times of war.

ptsd, if your husband does not want help ,then he is not ready to deal with it yet,i my self suffer from ptsd,even if the va says he needs to talk to some one, .until he is ready and relizes that he needs to deal with the disorder,i do understand that you are between a rock and a hard place ,but it is not easy for you to sit back and just watch your husband fall apart ,also it maybe good for you to see someone or go to a group for family of ptsd suffer's this would help you not only to understand the disorder more caz you would be able to hear what other's are dealing with and it is great to having someone say 'wow'i went though the same thing ,it helps alot when you have others that are dealing with the same thing also the more you can understand what your husband is dealing with the better you will be able to be strong for him.i hope this helps ,just rember your love for your husband and understanding will go a long way ,i hope i was able to help .please let me know how you are doing and if he does deside to get help.I.

J.

My heart goes out to you it is a difficult situation.

I will share a couple things with you as both a psychotherapist and as someone who has had PTSD (not from military service but from other trauma in my life). I would highly recommend that your husband get some outside help. It is wonderful to have a supportive family that you can talk to but sometimes it is easier to share things with someone outside of your family.

I would recommend that he see a therapist that is trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). EMDR was given the highest level of recommendation (category for robust empirical support and demonstrated effectiveness) in the treatment of trauma by the VA.

I used EMDR to help me get through my PTSD and it helped trememdously. Through EMDR was able to recover from the PTSD. I have seen it used with others and greatly change their lives. You can find more info about EMDR at the EMDR institute http://www.emdr.com/

I know that you want t help your husband, the best thing that you can do is share your feelings with him and be as supportive and loving as you can. He needs your support and love right now.

I'm a military wife as well. My husband came home from Baghdad
four months ago so I can relate to what you're going through.
Maybe you could suggest that he should go to see someone just to rule out ptsd. Express your concern for his well being as well as that of your children. If he is suffering from ptsd its important that he gets the help he needs. Tell him not to feel bad about it...its so common for those who have been in such extreme situations such as combat. I would leave his mother out of the equation totally, afterall YOU are the one who sees him each day and probably knows what he needs more then anyone els does. If you have to, ask him not to talk to her about the subject till he goes to see someone. Readjusting to civilian life for them is hard enough, the last thing you need is that type of interference. I hope this helps a little and try not to worry...things do get better with time!

I am sorry about what is going on...and I don't really have the same situation but, the mother-in-law part, I have had plenty of experience with! Bottom line, you have to get him to distance himself away from his mother or he may never get the help he needs. It takes a lot to tell your mother to back off, but it is for his own good...he's an adult and has a wife now,she isn't the "top dog" anymore, my husband and mother in law learned that real quick...I hope all works out. Good luck.

Remember it is easier to beg forgiveness then ask permission.
Follow your instincts and don't worry about your MIL. You are his wife and the only person that may be higher then you in his life should be God.
Good luck

Bless your heart J., and your husbands too. You're absolutely right...no one should have to see or experience what he did while in the Army. With PTSD, it's a difficult thing to get thru because everyone reacts to it differently. But, the most common thing to do, and it helps, is to talk about it. That way it doesn't build up inside of him and he bursts later on. Does he ever talk to "you" about his experience and what he has seen? Talking about it does help, but he shouldn't just talk to his mother. He should come to you first and foremost because you are his wife and you should come first of all things. I really hope he does realize that he needs help in dealing with all this. It's imparitive that he does. Sometimes just talking with family and friends isn't enough. Talk to your husband about your feelings. Let him inside of how you feel about his suffering and your great concern about him getting some professional help. He might be defensive about it at first, because no one wants to admit they need professional help, but keep encouraging him. May be you can go with him and help him thru this. It's important for you also to let your feelings be known about this whole thing because you have suffered as well. It may have been indirectly, but still...you're a part of him, as well as he is you. So together, you can both work this out. :-) Best wishes. G.

I haven't really had experience with it personally, but my brother in law served in Iraq during the occupation period. He was a combat medic and also saw things he shouldn't have had to. He came back with PTSD as well. He is now honorably/medically discharged. He is on anti-depressants and seems to be doing well, although he won't talk about it much. I suggest a good Psychiatrist. Good luck!

Hi J.! i don't have any good advice. I just wanted to say that my heart goes out to your family. When you talk to him about putting you first, try to make it as gently as possible, because it regards his mom, and that is a very sensitve button for anyone, no matter how old they are. My husband and i have been through this, and it was so important for him to know that I was not trying to push his mom out of the picture, just to be regarded as his wife and get that respect. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope that you and your husband can work through this. In all things, you gotta work through it together, it is vital to any marraige that you are both on the same page. God bless you and your family. Your husband is a strong person for being in such a challenging field, and you are so brave and strong for sticking with him through all of it. Best wishes!

A.

I have PTSD, the best thing that I ever did was went to a counselor, they have medicine that help you to deal with it. Its a tough thing to battle by yourself. His mom probably just doesnt understand what it really is, or was just raised that problems stay at home and no one else needs to know them. He really needs to see someone to talk about it!