Psychologist for My 4 Year Old

I don'thave personal experience, but how is he with her? I don't see how any psychologist could help if she is apprehensive around him and visits him once a week. If there is issue with her being with him, even if he is great with her, I would think they might need to go together at some point. If she sees how he was with you, doens't it make sense that she might not be too thrilled with being left alone with him? This just seems obvious to me, as an outsider.

Although I don't have any experience with this type of issue, I was moved to respond. I applaud you for moving on and taking care of your little girl. She'll be fine. Kids are so resilient. The therapy will work beautifully. Good luck and bless you and your family.

Don't know where you live; but I'm in Delray and know a few referrals for you. I also do counselling.
However, you need to know that you are doing the best job that you can with what you have.
This is important...
The more you stress over the situation the more your children absorb...and guess what...we ALL have issues.
Please take the time to de-stress yourself so that you are able to help your children grow to be strong and confident. And this they will absorb.
Many blessings

we have different experiences but my advice is this, if the seperation us going to lead to any court proceedings ie divorce or custody hearings, then you may need your ex's consent before taking your children to counseling. don't give him anything to use against you.

First & foremost you did the best thing you could for your girls by getting out. Clinginess is normal for a 4 year old but this kind of super clinginess is not normal EXCEPT in situations like this even if its for the better because her world has been turned upside down & you are her only constant right now. Just be patient with her she will be ok. Good luck to you & the girls & I also suggest some therapy for you as well. Stay strong.

Dear D.,

I wish you well. You have a double jeopardy...your own post traumatic stress and that of your daughers. I understand what you are going through as I have gone through it but with two sons. You have already done the smartest thing and that is to take care of yourself. By putting your own health and safety first, your girls will learn this from you. It is difficult now because they are so young and developing, psychologically, physically and mentally, which is THE reason they are experiencing insecurity. You are responding responsibly by seeking counseling and having your daughter assessed, yet what will make the difference in her life is not what the psychologist SAYS but what YOU DO and do not do. When she regains security, she will pass through this. If it is worse after visiting a violent father, this is where you have your work cut out for you because in the eyes of your children, you left but they still have to be with him. Are they safe?

I don't know anyone in the Tampa area, but what you could do is to contact the Guardian Ad Litem office near you.
http://vfcgal.org/contact_us.htm
I would request one to be put in charge of your daughter- I don't know how to go about this, really, but they can tell you. A Guardian Ad Litem is a non-biased adult who is there to represent and advocate for the CHILD/CHILDREN in a case. Here in Miami I'm pretty sure it's the Judge in a case who says one needs to be appointed...anyway, I would call their office and inquire and also inquire as to what psychologists they work with. I would think the ones who work w/ this agency would be reputable...
good luck!
http://vfcgal.org/contact_us.htm

No advice here, D., other than... just be there for her... comfort your little girls and continually let them know that you are there for them, will keep them safe and love them!
It sounds like you are making the best decisions possible for your girls. I really respect the fact that you left the situation and realize how it is effecting your 4 year old. Hugs and prayers for you all.

T.
PS I have my own (just about 4) year old daughter. Mine can be "clingy" from time to time too, so some of the behavior could be normal... but I'm sure you're spot on in knowing that she is reaching out for help in dealing with her world changing, too.

I am a licensed family therapist specializing in children. It sounds to me like the behaviors your daughter is experiencing are normal for her age, considering what she is going through. I think the two diagnoses you mentioned are a little too severe. I agree that she needs to see a therapist to help her process what she is goin through, bu I don't see a need to labke her. I would be happy to talk with you further if you would like to call me. I'm sorry you are having to go through this. I know it is extremely difficult. However, I applaud you for having the courage to leave and for trying to do your best to take care of your children. Good luck to you.
E. Davis, MS
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
###-###-####
( and mother of two). :)

I highly recommend dr. Gerard Boutin - he's phenominal with kids.

Hold her tight, keep her close, tell her all the time how much you love her, how special she is, how it's not because of her and that parents won't ever leave her.... She's battling with a new I security with her loved ones and the world. Her poor behavior when she returns is all stress and coping with life being a way she isn't used to. Give her time, lots of attention and counseling. Hang in there. She will make it. So will you...

Hello D.,
You've gotten some fantastic advice already but I wanted to add on the visits with dad issue. I highly recommend that if they arent, you should request that are. You never know whats going on when she visits with him. Continue with the thearapy, and I would seek some for yourself also. You've made the biggest leap in getting out of the bad relationship, be proud of that.

God bless you and your family, I will keep you all in my prayers.

HI D.
First i'm very sorry for what happened to you and specially your children , you got very good advices already , but i want to give you a diferent opinion , not as a mother but a " DAUGHTER VIEW " when i was a little girl i went through an experience like yours i was a little older than your daughter and i remember feeling alone because my M. never had the courage to leave my stepfather and she make us live and see somethings that we didn't deserved , so i;m happy for your children and you , and very important DO NOT trust your little girls alone with her father or any other man because things can happen when you less expected , if i was you i will get supervise visits protect your children keep your eyes and ears very wide open , pay close attention to them , maybe she is not going to tell you exactly what's going on because she is afraid to lose you or scared of something may happen to you since she saw violence .
I feel for your daughter i remember people always said to me that i was prety mature for my age , but life made grow at early age .

I recomend you for you and your daughter my church calvary chapel if you are in boynton beach or ft. lauderdale i go to boynton and the pastor and people there are fantastic they care about the people a lot they will receive you like a family , if you need more information email me ____@____.com .
I wish the best for you and your daughters , my prays are with you god bless you .....tania

How is her diet? Make sure she has NO sugar, and lots of food w/ b vits, and then check out Yoka Reader who will give you get info on what to do.
And honestly get her away fr the psych- that person will evaluate- and you will have to fight to keep your own perspective- really LOOK- and see what is true for you and your child- don't take someone else's idea of the no matter how many degrees they have- you are the mom!-k

I have no advice to offer, but I will be praying for you and your daughters. I don't know if the visitation is supervised, but it would sound like a good idea if it was. You should go to family court and ask for that. Good luck and take care.