Psych Evals

I have a friend who went through one. It was aslo because of her husbands behaviror after the divorce and durring custody fights that followed. For her, it exposed him for who he was, and she was able to get him removed as a custodial parent, at first, they shared custody, and now he only has visitation. It did not change the amount of time he spent with them, but now he does not have any decision power when it comes to their care, or if they go to certain activities, etc. It was very helpful to her.

M.

Honestly, if you have nothing to hide, which I am sure that YOU don't, do it and be relieved and happy that it is getting done! Consider it a blessing for you and your family. The kids will be none the wiser because they handle it in a very professional and non judgemental way for the kids, and it will be a great thiing for them in the long run. As far as for you and the husband, if you are experiencing issues with parenting after a seperation or divorce, it will really help to bridge the gap and set clear limits as to what can and cannot be done with the children, and it will NOT be one of you making the rules. It's so much easier to stick to rules that are set by a court when it comes to the kids, especially if you really agree deep down, but maybe didn't have the heart or guts to say it yourself for whatever reason. I have been through it all with my kids bio parents, (my nephew and niece I have custody of). It really does take the heat off of me when I can look at them and say "look, it's not me, this is what the courts will allow and not allow. If you have an issue with it, go back to see the judge." The kids will be much better off with your stress level going down too, as I know mine did after it was all over, and the person who did the eval gave me strength and reassurance that I was either doing the right things, or was at least on the right path. The very few things that I was not doing correctly for them, I was given the tools to help my kids better with, and I also consider that a big blessing as well. I never ONCE felt judged by the man who did my kids eval or the home eval. It really was worth it all the way around. I even had a guardian ad litum, (sorry if I spelled it wrong) and some days I wish she could come back for a few more visits. She was a great help as well because she was like a cheering section just for me. We can all use that once in a while as Moms. LOL! None of us feeel like we do a great job all the time 24 hours a day 7 days a week, especially in these type of situations. If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to message me privately if you know how to on here! Good luck!!!

I went through one during my custody battle about 5 years ago. It was a long process. You are put through interviews by the psych, they do the picture test like you see on tv (they show you an ink blotch on a piece of paper and ask you what you see--I was told that most people view these pictures as sexual); and you take a test that is about 500 + questions that you have to answer. The questions range from basic questions they ask you in school regarding subjects like math, english, etc. to personal questions such as would you like to be a florist to logic questions about diagrams, etc. So, it covers a wide variety of areas of you as a "whole" being. The purpose of this testing is to test your intelligence, how you respond to certain things and situations, and how you perceive life. My involvement with the psych was about 6 months. When the testing and those 500+ question tests are completed and analyzed, the psych issues a very detailed report on the findings. My report was 18 pages long! You learn so many things good/bad about you as a whole person. These findings, no matter who you are, will show qualities in you that you never imagined--both good and bad. It can also show mental issues (everyone has some of these qualities, some mild/some extreme). Some qualities about you in these findings will be obvious to you, while others will shock you. Even if a doctor/psych has an evaluation, they to will get these results, so what I'm saying is that these tests are the same for EVERYONE, just different findings. At the end of the analysis, the psych will make a recommendation. The court may or may not take this recommendation into consideration. Personally, in my opinion, these tests are a waste of time and money, but this is how things are done by the court, so my advice to you is to cooperate fully keeping the welfare of your children the first and foremost number one priority. You do what you need to do for your kids. In the meantime, and this may sound corny, but here it goes: Keep your head on straight and make wise choices involving the welfare of your children. You cannot go wrong when you do right:) Please don't worry and stress yourself over the findings of this evaluation either. Every person who goes through this is scrutinized--that's the purpose of this procedure.

I hope this helps. Good luck,

M.

They'll ask you about your life, about your family's life.
Just tell the truth, as you see it, as it happened.
In particular, focus on the children's wellbeing,
their behavior and health as relates to dad's actions in the home.
Include whether you and your husband were able to communicate
and "be on the same page" as regards your raising the children