Pros and Cons of Having a Third Child.

Updated on March 19, 2010
K.L. asks from Bothell, WA
17 answers

I am just newly pregnant with my 3rd child and I am curious to hear from some of you who have 3 children the pros and cons of having a third child. My other two children are 8 and almost 6. I am not scared of how I will be able to raise the child because my mom will help a lot but I am anxious that it will be noisy and not much personal time. Is this true?

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

It is the easiest. The older 2 will be in school most of the time so you will have the youngest at home alone for several years. The older 2 are a lot of help and they can entertain him if you want to take a shower. They will love having the new baby it will be like a new toy.The youngest will also be the last to leave home and once again he will be like an only child. The only con is the baby waking the others in the middle of the night.

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K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

The more the merrier. I have 5. It seems like it gets easier the more we have. The children enjoy all the siblings.

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S.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

I, too, am pregnant with my 3rd. This was definitely a surprise, to say the least. It took me awhile to get over the shock. Many days were spending crying and wondering how on earth I was going to make it thru this. Aside from the morning sickness and extreme fatigue (all the time, from the moment I wake up until the moment I collapse at night)...I find myself having a much harder pregnancy than my previous 2. I am gaining weight much more quickly than I had with my others, and am already falling victim to the pregnancy induced swelling, not to mention the almost non-stop pain and discomfort with ligments and muscles stretching. I thought subsequent pregnancies were supposed to get easier?!?! LOL. But like my OB told me, you're older, you're chasing more kids around, etc. So I guess this is just par for the course.

I find myself worrying about how I am going to afford financially to care for another child, having to build a nursery all over again, having to buy 2 new vehicles to accomodate a 3rd child. I have heard that it is harder going from 1 to 2, rather than 2 to 3...but I just can't imagine how this is possible.

My girls are almost 8 and just turned 3. So I am lucky to have a nice age gap between them. All I can do is pray and try to prepare for what is to come. I keep telling myself, one day at a time. Because there will come a point when I look back and wonder where the time went and why I was so anxious.

But you and I are in the same boat...what is done is done. Can't change baby #3 now! =) Try to enjoy it!!! Congrats!

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

LOVE it. It can be a circus some days, but overall - I love it. I never wanted children and then we got pregnant 7 months into our marriage. I was devastated. 3.5 years later, we had another baby boy and 2 weeks later, I walked my husband into the urologist's office for a vas consult. He wasn't ready. 22 months later, I delivered #3. It took us a few weeks to get our balance back, but wasn't as bad as we thought it would be. In fact, we are debating about a fourth baby. ;)

The older ones are eager to help...which makes it nice. They also get special priveleges that the younger ones don't do....due to age, etc. AND they LOVE their sister...constantly kissing her and helping her.

Honestly, if you look at the pro and con list logically, there are a lot more cons - more expesive to travel, to live, to eat, to play. Less personal time. Have to make equal time for more kids. Less husband time. BUT, the amount of joy and love they bring to our lives is immeasurable. Just enjoy it and look forward to the ride.

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S.T.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I do have to say that for me it was MUCH harder going from 2-3 than from 1-2. It was always my husband got one and i got the other...now not so easy, but totally worth it. My two oldest are boys and my youngest is a girl and they love thier baby sister SO MUCH! they always make her smile and laugh and play with her with her toys, like other post said... Baths are harder because there are more of them, food is more expensive and new baby stuff for a different sex child, but I would not trade it ever...(only how close in age probably). Mine are almost 5, 3 and 8 months. Good Luck!

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

Have a 3rd child is a blessing, however my world changed with my third. You are out number by this point, but having your other two older will help. I have 4 children and there are times when the noise is crazy loud. But I step back and remind myself this will only be a short time. As for personal time, I have found that I do things for myself after the kids are in bed, or I plan on girlfriend time once a month. This helps alot. With 3 you just have to be organized and plan a head. The great thing is that after the baby is born you won't realize how you lived without them. So good luck to you, and don't worry you'll do great.

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

We have 3 children, every one of which was planned for and wanted... and they are still are our #1 priority. When we had our children, we never thought of asking someone else to raise them or to help us raise our kids. My parents live close by, and on the rare occasion I needed a sitter to run an errand, then they would would watch them for an hour or two... but I can count on one hand the number of times that happened. You find pieces of personal time, but you make the decision, adopt the mindset that when you have children, they are what you want to do with your personal time, they are how you spend your time, your money, your energy and efforts... with them, for them, on them.

I had my 3 kids within a 5 yr span of time, so mine are closer in age than your's will be, oldest to the youngest. Noise is a fact of life, but there is a time and a place for it. Outside voices are for outside. Normal conversations and asking how you are, how was your day, reading out loud at least 30 minutes a day for each of your older kids is a must. Your oldest children will be in school, leaving you with some one on one time with your baby/toddler. You don't mention if you work outside the home, but if you do, the drive/ride to and from work is a bit of peace and quiet that you will have. You don't mention what your husband/partner will be doing with you. Share the household chores, the feedings and bath times. Help with the homework. You make the personal time for yourself, but it's not going to be days or nights of it, again pieces strung together.

Life isn't any noiser with 3 than it is with 2. My personal time was still the same, it's how you choose to use your time that matters, I chose to spend it with my kids and my husband. If you're expecting your Mom to help out a lot, be prepared, ready for the day when she won't be there. You never can tell what might happen and you'll have to do it all. Become self-reliant, so you can teach your kids that, step by step as they grow and prosper. Give them wings.

This new addition to your family is a blessing, a gift. Enjoy!

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M.M.

answers from Seattle on

Dont worry! This child will be a wonderful blessing to your family. I am sure your children will very much love him and her and you will too. Whatever stress or she brings will be far outweighed by the joy and wonder he or she will bring into your life. God has brought this child into your life for a reason, and every baby is a precious and wonderful miracle and gift. Congratulations!

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C.S.

answers from Biloxi on

I have three kids. two girls and a boy. My son is in the middle but he loves his sisters. My oldest was 7 when i had my third child and my son was 2. They loved having a new baby in the house. My oldest would help change diapers and try to feed her. My son would try to hold her and feed her too.

Most days it can be a circus at the house. Trying to get meals cooked and everybody wanting something different. Cleaning the house or doing laundry. Having three kids makes life more interesting.

One thing we do is on wednesday we have family meetings on what we want to do on the weekend and before my youngest could talk the votes would more than often end in ties. After she starting talking and voicing her opinion she would end up being the tie breaker. We started talking about where we would like to go for vaction this summer and my youngest daughter came up with the cheapest idea. She said " Lets stay home and just go camping in one of the local parks". The other two want to go to disney.

Again I say i love having three kids. It is going to be more expencive but worth it.

Good luck to you and congratulations on your third child.

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C.E.

answers from Provo on

your kids are at nice ages to be very helpful siblings. one thing i enjoyed was when my 3rd could crawl into her brothers' room and be entertained by them instead of always being right next to me. we have had to be creative, however, in finding ways for the older kids to be able to play with their toys with small pieces without the baby getting at them. reaching over another kid's carseat to put the infant carseat in and out of the car was hard, but it doesn't last forever. it's nice to have an older sibling to feed the baby cheerios or sing her a song when she's tired of being in the car. the older kids are quick to help her find her favorite bear or bring me an extra pillow when it's time to nurse her-- partly because they want to help and partly because they know they can get out those toys that are off limits to her while i nurse her. those are some things that came to mind first.

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K.R.

answers from Seattle on

I had 3 kids in just over 4 years. It was actually easier going from 2 to 3 than 1 to 2. 2 kids was very overwhelming for me. 3 has been a piece of cake. The older 2 will be quite helpful to you. The only things that have been a little harder is going out of the house is a bit of a production (I'm not very organized by nature), so allow extra time and the laundry is exponential. Enjoy this blessing.

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B.W.

answers from Phoenix on

My friend Ruth had three (and is now pregnant with her fourth). She was always tired and exhausted and stressed out. But hers were 5, 2, and newborn. At the time she said no more! But look now!

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K.L.

answers from Seattle on

I have three kids 8, 6 and 3. You're a little better off then me as your 3rd is a further in ages then the older two as the older two will LOVE the little one to death. I'm sure your kids love "babies" as most kids do and they tend to spoil the baby and love helping out w/the baby. Not only that, they would keep your littlest company or watch him/her for a moment while you do something. As for noise...three is not different then two!

Congratulation!

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E.G.

answers from Portland on

My children are 19,14 and 11. I do know that you will be challenged daily to find balance. The best thing you can possibly do is to keep the noise level up. To expect your other kids to be quiet and to keep a silent house while baby is sleeping will make it difficult for all of you. The older kids may develope resentment in subtle ways that may show up later. Put baby down for naps and leave radio or TV at normal volumes. Hold your new baby, feed him/her, have them fall asleep and have someone vacuum. Your new addition will adapt to sleeping anywhere, in any noise level and it will make your life much easier. The third child is tough and wonderful all at the same time. I wish you all the best. Congratulations.

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J.S.

answers from Richland on

Congratulations on your pregnancy. My two older children were 6 and 4 when my third child was born. The first few weeks were a little rough as we adjusted to a "zone defense" rather than one to one parenting style. After that, though, the older children would go to school for the morning and I had the baby and the house all to myself. In a way, it was like having a first born all over again. The evenings were a little hectic, with the older children having soccer, dance, piano, etc, and me trying to get dinner ready, but I think it taught the older children to pitch in and be helpful from an early age.
I think in general, the noise level in your home depends upon what you will accept. I now have four children, and I don't think our house is chaotic or too noisy most of the time. I have friends with 4 or 5 children whose homes I really enjoy, and other people with 2 children whose homes are a ZOO! I have no problem saying to my children " count how many children you see, then count how mommies there are here. Please be patient and wait your turn, I am doing the very best that I can for all of you." I really enjoy having a larger family because it wipes out the expectation of perfection. Yes, personal time during the day can be tough to find. If your older children are in school though, you should be able to squeeze in a moment or two either during the day or after they go to bed.
Good luck ~ my third child was an absolute dream baby from the moment he was born. I swear the child was born smiling and started laughing from the time he was about 4 weeks old. I hope its the same for you !

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L.G.

answers from Anchorage on

I just had #4 and my other children are 8, 7, & 4. I love having the other kids older. I had my first two 13 months apart, and decided if I was going to have any more I wanted a bigger gap. I loved having my third, he is about 3 1/2 years younger than #2, so I enjoyed having him and it was much more relaxing than when I had the other two. Now #4 is 4 years younger than #3, and I am hoping it will be just as much fun! It may be a bit harder to go back to newborn mode after so long, but it shouldn't be too much harder to go from 2 to 3 with the ages of your others. Congratulations, and good luck!

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R.W.

answers from San Francisco on

As my husband says, 3 is harder than two because two will play together, but three tend to divide up--two together, one left out.
But you have two kids that are old enough to help out or take care of themselves to a good degree...
Try not to worry. You will adjust. =)

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