Hi, everyone!
I have a 5-y.o. boy and a 2-y.o. girl. Ever since his sister was born, my son has been wanting to share a room with her. I am wondering what are the pros and cons of having them do so? And how old should my daughter be if we do decide to do it? I never really thought I'd have children of opposite genders share a room, but maybe I should let them while they are still young enough to not really need much privacy? Although how long is that likely to be? I only have one sister, and we shared a room until I was 15. I remember begging my parents to let me have my own room for almost my entire childhood. But at the same time, some of my fondest memories with my sister were when we would whisper and giggle in the middle of the night after bedtime.
I discussed this with another friend of mine who also has a boy and a girl, although her girl is the older one. She said that she would not have her chidlren share a room, because she likes that they each have their own place to go if they need to get away from each other. This is something I didn't really consider, so I thought I'd put it to you all to see if there are other issues I should factor in before I decide whether this is a good idea? I know that no situation is set in stone and that we can always separate them again if it didn't work out, but just trying to get an idea of what I might be getting myself into if we do put them together.
Thanks!
J.
Thanks, everyone. We have enough space in the house for the kids to each have their own room. They don't keep toys (except for nighttime loveys) in their room - just clothes mostly. Their playroom is our former living room. I think when my daughter is closer to 3, we'll get a bunk bed to put in my son's bedroom so they can have the option to sleep in the same room if they want.
I see nothing wrong with kids sharing a room. My first two kids a girl and a boy 2 years apart shared a room for 2 1/2 years because they had to. Then we separated them because we had the space for them to have their own rooms.
I would let them share for a while if they both want to. Let them have fun, they might decide after a while to each have their own rooms again.
I see no problems with sharing rooms until one of them hits puberty.
Heck, it would be pretty awesome to make one room a sleeping/ BED room, and that would free up one to turn into a PLAY room! Heck ya! ;)
P.S. I shared a room with my older brother for 3 years, until my younger brother was old enough to move out of our parent's room... then I had my own through a divorce and until my dad re-married. MOST of the time I had my own room, I wound up sleeping in my brothers' room. :)
My son and daughter shared a room through toddler hood and into early elementary school.
Honestly there were no cons, it was great. They had a large room with bunk beds and all of their toys. They were best buddies during this time. Most kids don't really care about a space of their own until they hit puberty. The decor was neutral, though I did let them each choose their own bedding, they both had blue and white quilts, but my daughter had Ariel sheets and my son had Toy Story. I miss those days :)
Hi! My son and daughter have always shared a room. When they got too old we split their room in half with floor to ceiling (almost) furniture. When they were little we could hear them whispering and laughing and singing and we still can. It's a beautiful sound. Steve (19) and Sarah (almost 17) are best friends. Oh, they fight like siblings do but they are extremely close and protective toward eachother. Since they obviously don't have to share a room why not just let them for a while and see how it goes. Just be prepared for the giggling!
My friends had only 2 bedrooms so they had their son and daughter in the same room for a long time in bunk beds. It worked fine but at a certain point (around 12 years old) they did want to have their own spaces. But your kids would probably enjoy sharing the room at this age.
I think that this is the age when most siblings should be separated when they are sharing a room.
Reasons why:
He is starting school, he will have some minimal homework, he'll have school papers that she will get into, he will want to have friends over after school to play, they won't want to have a girl hanging around, they'll want to go in "his" room and play boy toys.
He is 5 she is 2. Surely they have different bedtimes....he is old enough to stay up later while she still needs to go to bed earlier. So what good does it do for them to share the room? They can't use it at the same time for anything more than storing their clothes and furniture.
She cannot be around toys that are for ages 3 and up. She is at risk of choking to death if he even has a hot wheels car on the floor. She may be good about not putting stuff in her mouth right now but it is a 2 years old nature to have stuff in their mouth. This alone is reason enough she needs her own room in my opinion.
Even if the toys are not in their room and you have the toys in the family room he should not have anything small enough to fit through a toilet paper roll anywhere near the floor where she could reach it. That makes it hard on him to be at his developmental stage.
I think that HUD has their guidelines for well researched reasons. They do not allow different gender children share rooms at this age. They have struct guidelines for this. When I was President of the Board for my local area Habitat for Humanity we had to make sure families that applied and were accepted had bedrooms for each child, they could have kids share a room but they had to be very close in age plus same gender.
There are exceptions to the rule though. My friend had 4 children. A preteen girl, a tween boy, and 2 year old twins, a boy and a girl.
The largest apartment the complex had was a 4 bedroom. The twins shared a room due to the age difference in the same gender sibling. The best situation for her family was to put them together at that time. But when she signed the lease they told her if her family was still this dynamic when the twins reached age 5 she would have to move out due to HUD regulations not allowing them to share a bedroom after that.
So, I think the idea of them having their own rooms so they can each have their own space is a good idea.
If a younger sibling comes along then the situation can be thought out more but for now I vote they have their own rooms with their own toys in their own room.
I think it depends on your house. Some of my friends have the kids share a room and have a playroom with the 'extra' bedroom. The kids are usually the same gender, but some are boy/girl.
I do not think my 5 year old will be doing homework in his room for a while. He does it at the kitchen table and i will either sit with him or say call me over to look over your shoulder.
I have separate rooms for my kids (boy 5 girl 2) because it works for us and our floor plan. I keep most toys downstairs for play dates (the kids do run upstairs to play in the rooms, but i would prefer them to stay down stairs).
I have a 6.5yr old boy and a 3.5yr old girl they have shared a room since my daughter was born. We had no choice but it's been just fine. They share a room when we go anywhere and also share a bed at gma's house's, camping, and in a hotel room. Even though we had to have them share a room it has made them closer. To the point my son even said if we ever moved and they had their own rooms he would miss his sister:)
My kids shared a room out of necessity until they were 9 (boy) and 6 (girl). They were fine. We finally were able to build another bedroom (and bathroom!) and they got their own rooms. I'd let them as long as they want to or when one hits puberty. My kids love having their own rooms now (16 & 13).
My boy and girl share, and they are 10 and 6. No issues, ever. The 6yo never goes up there except for bed,and we make the rooms pretty boring on purpose. No TVs, no phones, etc. My daughter spends time up there from time to time, and is always getting "alone time" when she does. I see no issues unless the parents make an issue out of it.
We will revisit the sharing if/when the daughter expresses the need for additional privacy: I'm guessing in about 2 years :)
I have 2 boys (8 & 6) and 1 girl (age 4) and the boys share a room (with bunk-beds, twin on top and double bed on the bottom) and my daughter has her own room with a twin size bed in it but ever since she moved out of her crib she sleeps with her brothers and we let her. So even though they don't *technically* share a room, its pretty darn close to them sharing seeing how she sleeps with them. Generally (during school, M-F) we put her to bed in her own room, in her own bed but when she wakes in the middle of the night she crawls into bed with brothers. On the weekends and now that it is summer we just go ahead and send them all to the boys' room when its bedtime.
We have had no problems, so far. I honestly think its great that they are so close and enjoy being together and want to be with each other. They talk and giggle together until they fall asleep. For the most part the oldest sleeps in his own bed but I have gone in to wake them in the morning and found all 3 of them on the bottom bunk together, more than once. So cute! I love it!
I imagine I will continue to let them sleep together until one of them has a problem with it...or needs/wants privacy...I imagine it will end soon enough, just like most things that have to do with our kids, time just flies by so quickly!
If you have the room keep them in their own space. Do you have a common play area or family area? If so that's where they can be together.
Our two oldest shared a room until my stepson was10 and stepdaughter was 8. Then we were able to finish the basement so he could have his own space. I don't remember either having an issue with sharing.
I dont see anything wrong with it. Especially right now while they are little and not needing privacy. The boy will want his own room probably around puberty time.
