Proper Way to Let Nanny Go

Updated on June 16, 2011
L.P. asks from Old Greenwich, CT
12 answers

We have had our nanny for 5 years. Overall, great experience (although last 7 months we have noticed her becoming a bit lazy). I gave her notice in April that mid July we will no longer need her services. I am going to be a SAM. That is a bit over 3 months notice. I have helped her in her job search. She is a bit picky in what she wants and not even sure she wants to be a nanny so this I feel has held her up in finding a job to some extent (although she has found a very part time job that she is at now when she is not with us). Today she tells me she expects severence. My offer to her was the following and it did not include severence since she has known for months she was leaving. She gets 14 days a year so we were going to base the following off of 8 days vacation (since she is with us half a year)

1. pay her out for 4 days vacation (she has 4 out of 8 days left and assuming she will not use any of that prior to her leaving)
2. help her find new employment

if some feel there should be severence, how much?
I thought severence was when you dont give a long notice. She also owes us $400 dollars.

I would like to know people's thoughts.

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M.H.

answers from New York on

I am sorry. I think you are being very NICE! You gave her 3 months. She is an adult she can find herself a job just like the rest of us. If she wants to be picky that is completely on her. And for the severence. I would just pay the time you owe her thats ALL. The way people feel like they have this sense of entitlement. REALLY! Just pay her the 4 days.

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S.T.

answers from New York on

As a former Director of Human Resouces - severance is for when there's no notice. So if you were to fire the nanny, watch her pack and walk her to the door then severance is appropriate. But you gave her notice back in April. Besides, surely after being with you for 5 years she had to notice that your kids were growing up?

Sererance is not customary in this instance. Maybe she's trying to find a way to not pay you back the $400 she owes you?

My suggestion - tell her now that you're not going to pay severance since she's had 3 months notice - but you will consider forgiving the $400 loan if she finishes strong. Give her an outline of what's expected to "finish strong" and assuming it's done then forgive the debt.

You want to provide an incentive for her to do the right thing up through her last day. Good luck mama - and congrats on being able to be home with your kids. How wonderful - I'm so jealous!

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C.G.

answers from Washington DC on

Agreed you want to walk away from this situation feeling good. I too have long term nannies whom at the end of their employment seem to get "short time syndrome!" But you will be home with your children and can correct any of the things you don't like. Pay her out on the 4 days and forgive the 400 bucks. You guys had it to loan her so honestly it won't break the bank to not have her pay you back. I know it's annoying but you at least won't feel like you were doing the wrong thing. I mean do you realize how lucky you are to have a nanny for 5 years.........literally unheard of. That is a long time be greatful you had her. I've been through 3 in 3 years! Good luck. Congrats on staying home! Wonderful I too am jealous!

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K.W.

answers from New York on

I think you are being very generous!

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M.M.

answers from Chicago on

She is not entitled to any severance.
It looks to me like you spoiled her and she is expecting too much from you.
You gave a very advance notice, it gave her a lot of time to think, to pick and choose and to get lazy.
I usually give 2 weeks to a month depending on the level of trust and performance. Any money you choose to give - is your choice and it is because you appreciating her dedication, loyalty and service and feeling generous to reward her. There is no obligation. If she is demanding - I would be very reluctant to indulge any such demands. You can assure her that you are considering a severance so she is not completely neglecting your child and her other duties and on the final day - just tell her that you reconsidered. Do not forget to deduct the $400 from her last salary.
Good luck.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

I actually disagree with most of the posters. And maybe severance is the wrong word here. I don't have a nanny, but my parents have aides who help them. If we had to let an aide go because my parents needed more care, I would automatically offer them at least a month's pay - even if we gave 1-2 months notice of this happening ahead of time.

I would see it as more of a thank you for the work that they've done in taking care of my family - and what job is more important than that? In this market place, losing a job with three months notice is not that much easier than losing a job with one weeks notice.

I would excuse the loan, and give 2 weeks pay.

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N.B.

answers from Jamestown on

I would call someone in the Labor Law department and explain the situation. They would be better to assist you in this matter...that and you can cover your butt if she decides to try to sue you.

Nanc

H.G.

answers from Dallas on

I wouldn't give her severence. You didn't tell her yesterday she has known. Why is it up to you to find her a new job. I guess im a jerk bevause I don't think its your problem. I would take the 4 days vaca she is owed and subtract the money she owed me and be done with it!

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K.L.

answers from New York on

I agree with the other posters. No severence! You gave her 3 months notice. If it was me I would have to bite my tongue to keep from laughing in her face. I also agree that you should find out the labor laws where ever you live. Did you give her the notice in writing? I also agree you don't need to help her find a new job. Sounds like you are feeling a bit guilty for "letting her go". But you are her boss. Not her head hunter.

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S.V.

answers from Rochester on

You are not obligated to give her anything, she has had three months to get off her behind and find a new job. I believe she is trying to take advantage of your kindness and the fact that she owes you money, has left a bitter taste in my mouth. I would say your parting gift and serverence is we will forgive your loan at the very most and have a nice life.As well as the fact that you probably won't ever see that money again, since she hasn't found a job. Honestly be happy she is going to be out of your life, as it seems the wall of employer/employee relationship has been breeched.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I don't feel that you need to be involved in helping her to find a new job, simply to give her an excellent reference if she deserves one. Check the labor laws, but I'm pretty sure you do not owe her severence. However, if she was a great nanny and you are letting her go not due to any wrongdoing on her part, I'd likely give a week or two of pay as a parting bonus and pay out the remaining vacation/sick days prorated (or all of them for the year in lieu of parting bonus). You're not obligated to keep her in your employment, sometimes jobs end and a person must find a new one.

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R.R.

answers from New York on

I think you are being more than fair and can leave this relationship with a clear conscience. No severance necessary. Give her the 4 vacation days, and if you like, let her keep the $400 as a thank you gift. Tell her you'll give her an excellent reference.

I let a nanny go and gave, if I remember correctly, 5 weeks notice. Our contract said that either of us had to give 2 weeks notice. I didn't give her a severance, but I gave her a little more in her final paycheck and found her her new position. I wanted to help her find a new position, so I posted ads for her and posted her info on my mom meetup group message boards. It turns out her next employer came from one of my mom groups.

You're doing more than I did, so I think you are fine.

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