Problem with Clothing "Hurting"

It's sounds like she is very sensitive to tactile stimulation. I have a kid with similar issues. Here's a book that you might be interested in:
Sensational Kids: Hope and Help for Children with Sensory Processing Disorder (Hardcover)
by Lucy Jane Miller (Author), Doris A. Fuller

my daughgter went through the same thing at that age and it occured everymorning so what i had to wind up doing was kind of barganing with her saying if you can wear this all day ill give you( whatever was her favorite food,tv show, etc).eventually it started workig AND i got through the mornings now she is six and i let her pick out her own clothes and she really do a good job.

I would seriously consider the allergy issues.

For a simple step to possibly head that one off, quit using fabric softners of any kind, and use 1/3 cup of white vinegar in the fabric softner dispenser instead (to neutralize the detergent and help it to rinse out).

You may also want to start keeping a "what did she wear" log, noting the types of fabric materials so that you can see if there is any consistent type of fabric that she does well with or not so well.

There are socks that you can buy that don't have seams in them, but I'm not sure who makes them. I seem to think that maybe LL Bean does?

On the underwear issue, I'd let her be panty free at night, but insist on panties in the daytime. Try out different types of fabrics on this too to see about allergies--a urologist may not necessarily be able to comment on allergy issues and because of that should not have told you that it was definitely a behavioral issue.

You've probably already heard this, but have you tried first putting out 3 outfits/pairs socks etc. for her to "choose" from, thus giving her a sense of choice/control? Or maybe having her pick a "color of the day" the night before and make a theme the next day...you could wear a purple shirt, she could wear her purple pants, etc. and you could spend the rest of the day "hunting" for objects of that color? Or maybe there could be some way to for her decorate her socks or even undies to make them feel more "hers". Or how about this...do you have a big bear or stuffed animal that she could dress the night before in her clothes and she could put them on herself the next day? Or maybe a reward system...she wears one of the outfits for 4 days and she gets her own "casual Friday" (you could call it something else!) and she could pick absolutely whatever she wants (even something silly like a cowboy hat!).
Just a few thoughts. I feel for you. :) With my son and I our battles were over food. Its always exhausting. Good Luck!!

Hi! I can totally relate to you. My daughter is the same way and she has something known as Sensory Integration Disorder. For her, it's not just a matter of being picky, but her body actually processes certain sensations as being painful. Have you tried cutting off the tags to her clothes? That may be part of what is bothering her. I have a huge battle every time I need to put shoes on my daughter. She acts like it is absolute torture. She sees an occupational therapist who specializes in sensory disorders once a week and that seems to be helping. Good luck!

Hi J.!

My stepdaughter has had this problem since around age 3 (she is 5 and a half now). It was a big struggle for a long time, we had a lot of fights, and I have a lot of 3T clothes that never got worn, but we have worked out a system now that seems to be working well.

Everything that I buy, I have her try on before I even take the tags off. If she says that it's not comfortable, I take it right back to the store. Even if it's something really cute that I like a lot, I’ve come to the realization that it's not worth the fight when it comes time for her to wear it. If she says that it is comfortable then I often go back to the store and buy more colors. Old Navy’s short and long sleeve t-shirts are great, for example, they come in a ton of colors, they have no tags and they wash very well.

I try not to spend any more than $20 on any one piece of clothing for her so that I don’t get so upset if she refuses to wear something. I explain to all of our friends and family who might be buying clothes for her that we very often have to return clothing, so please get a gift receipt so we can pick out something else that she finds comfortable. Anyone that would be buying her clothes just wants her to be happy and comfortable anyway, so they are happy to get gift receipts for us.

I also look for particular fabrics--- velour, cotton and fleece are usually good for her. For dress pants instead of stiff cords or kakis (which she hates) I get a few pair of black velvet pants every winter. She won't wear tights with dresses and skirts (I’m guessing your daughter won't either), so I buy leggings (the ones with lace at the bottom) and have her wear leggings with tall dressy boots instead of tights and dress shoes.

For shoes--- she hates having sneakers tied tightly, so I get Velcro sneakers or high top (converse) sneakers. The high-tops work well because I don't have to tie them as tightly and they will stay on. I get her tall dress boots instead of uncomfortable dress shoes. The boots are often lined with soft material, so they are more comfortable than dress shoes.

For underwear---I usually buy it a size bigger. She’s a size 6 now, so I buy an 8. they are tight enough to be sanitary, but the elastic is not tight on her body.

Good luck J.! I sympathize with your frustration!!

Hi J. -

Does your daughter have any problems with foods? Like certain textures of foods bother her? Is she a very picky eater? Does she dislike having her hair brushed? The reason I ask is because what you're describing sounds identical to what my best friend's daughter goes through. She has recently been diagnosed with Sensory Integration Disorder - sometimes she 'craves' sensory input (touch taste smell, etc) and sometimes normal sensory input is 'extreme', for example when putting on a wool sweater, it may feel like pins and needles to her. She's complained of her hair hurting, certain clothing/fabrics, certain foods (texture),etc. Her doctor prescribed something (not sure what) and she goes to an Occupational Therapist and is doing very very well. I don't know if this is what your daughter is experiencing, but not many people have heard of SID, although apparently it is a common disorder among children. Ask your pediatrician.

Goodluck!

A.

It doesn't have to necessarily be behavioral. Some kids are sensitive to certain materials, tags etc. Try looking up some info on tactile issues and see if any of it fits your daughter. These types of issues do exist so it may not be in her mind.

J., I know you have received a lot of responses, but i thought id just send you an idea that changed my life. Have you tried a sticker chart? my daughter, 4, was exactly the same and we were having screaming fights every morning. I put all of her socks inside out, cut all of the feet out of her tights, got only certain socks (oshkosh socks and undies are GREAT by the way!) she only wears the $4 stretchy pants from target...and the list goes on. but since we started this chart she is like a different child. she helped make a chart on poster board. every time she gets dressed without fussing (even if her socks are inside-out--quirks are ok, screaming and fighting are not) she gets to put a sticker on her chart. i got princess stickers, cute animal stickers, etc. when she fills up a whole line (on our chart this is like 25 stickers!), she gets a sspecial outing of her choice. some of the things are like a picnic at the park, the aquarium, crayola factory, hiking. we included things like hair brushing--also horriffic until the stickers. it's worth a shot.
good luck

J.,

Your post makes me feel normal now. LOL. My little girl went through this stage starting at four. It got really bad at five. It's a "little" better at six after me throwing temper tantrums--LOL. My daughter does not want to wear anything but sandals--especially after summer. I thought it was because shoes/sneakers felt tighter and covered her feet after being used to flip flops and sandals during the summer. It was a fight. We finally settled on clogs, even though that could be difficult at school. Shirts--errrrrrr.......they can't touch her head going over her head. I would get so frustrated. I would scream, "Fine, you can go to school without a shirt, then." LOL. Of course she would cry and I would end up looking for some gross looking thing that was huge on her. Don't think I didn't think of sending her to school in Daddy's T-shirt. At least that went over her head and wasn't tight--LOL. I felt like she looked more like a boy through this stage with her big clothes--LOL.In the end, I put my foot down. I would make games where we would count or try different ways to get her into her clothes. If she didn't want to then I said that was it--naked or nothing. She didn't want to go to school naked! LOL. I was careful in what I chose when I bought her clothes, also. There has to be a compromise. No turtlenecks. Nothing real tight, but something fashionable in her size, at least. I usually bought shirts a size too big. She dressed in skorts which she liked--not so contained. She's starting to come out of it as she's noticing the other kids styles. She's learned to trust me in what she wears. I'm still careful--no turtlenecks or something real tight, but able to get something that's finally her size.

Kid's are different. My oldest was not like this. I just go with the flow as I know she will outgrow this.

Just to rule it out - go to a pediatric dermatologist. A 4-year old isn't exactly articulate enough for you to rule out a possible skin allergy to a particular fabric. Not only that, as a gal with extremely dry, sensitive skin, when I was a kid I'd tell my mom that "my clothes hurt" all the time - it was the clothing aggravating my sensitive skin. I never got red splotches or any kind of visible reaction site to the clothing - it was just an irritant. The only time I got a visible reaction was when I wore pajamas that were coated with a chemical as a fire-proofer (it's no longer used). But I couldn't tell her that it made my skin itch until I was about 7. So take her to a dermatologist to rule out any possible medical condition to wool, cotton, polyester, dacron, whatever. THEN you can start with the behavior modification...... :-)

Thats normal. Maybe you could take her out shopping to pick out a few things herself. Let her shop and try on the things before she gets them. Tell her to make sure she likes what she picks, because that is what she will be wearing to school. This will probably work better. Maybe she could find some things that she really likes, and looks forward to wearing to school. Even if the clothes cost more, it's worth it, so that you don't have the ordeal every morning. Maybe there are other reasons she don't want to wear the clothes she has. Don't be too picky about what she chooses. Let her do it herself and develope her own style.

Hello J..

One of my best friends daughter has this issue. She has been this way since she was 3. When she was 4 she would only wear 2 very SOFT dresses. Her mother washed the clothes every day. She would go to second hand stores to find clothing that was SOFT and TAG FREE. It has improved some, now that she is 7 1/2. However, it was not until she was in first grade that she had much testing and it was discovered she also has ADHD without the hyperactivity. There may be a link. I would have your daugher tested. Some Intermediate Unit (IUs)are helpful, some are not. You may need to have her privately tested. My friend had to. Good luck. You are definetely not the only one out there with this problem.

Hi! I agree with the people who mentioned Sensory Integration Dysfunction. I went through this with my son as well. There is a great easy to read book that explains it all called Out-Of-Sync Child. This is not something you need to medicate your child for, so do not panic about that! It can be solved by getting her Occupational Therapy. Some intermediate units will provide it for free if you go thru them, but you might have to do it privately. Basically what is happening is your childs brain is extra sensitive to any kind of sitmuli and cannot block it out. What the OT will do is expose your child to the stimuli in a safe environment and teach your child to train their brain to block it out.
So my first suggestion is to get that book, most libraries have it if you do not want to purchase it. Then contact your pediatrician or you local intermediate unit for infornation on Occupational Therapy.
Good luck!!
D.

I once babysat a toddler who had similar issues and it turned out he had a sensory disorder. His brain over or under processed different tactile responses. Talk to your pediatrician, get referrals and find out for sure because there can be other areas affected that you might not realize yet (IF this is the same sort of thing). Otherwise, you may have a little diva that already wants cashmere!!! Good luck to you!

hiya J.,
I hope this helps a little, but my daughter did the same thingwhen she was about that age. She refused to wear her socks right side out because the seam bothered her feet,her shoes had to be extrememly tight and if not then she threw a tantrum, so she would turn the inside out and was fine. She complained about how her clothes didnt feel right, so i started letting her pick out her clothes in the morning, if she matched good,, if not then it was her fault.This went on for about 2 yrs. Shes now 10 and has since grew out of it,and everything is good! Good Luck, I know it can be rough, but it does get better!
S.

My nephew had issues with socks he would call the seams "moles".He would make my sister turn the socks inside out. He also was very picky about what he felt comfortable wearing. He was at first diagnosed with ADD, but recently found out that he has a form of autism. They caught the autism because he started wetting himself at age 10. Just read your request and felt I should respond. I would has her evaluated by a Psychiatrist. He was also born with holes in his heart and a deformed bone in his ear which led to hearing and speech problems.

Both my children have what is called Sensory Integration dysfunction. They both receive Ot as well as other services because they have other medical problems. You can call your local IU (since she is 4 yrs old) and have Early Intervention to come out and evaluate. It's free and doesnt cost anything! good luck!

Hi J. I think it is just a phase because I have a 3 year old little girl and she just started doing the same thing. Everyday when I dress her she throws a fit cuz she dont want to wear her clothes because it hurts her. And she is the same way with the material also. She wont wear certain clothes cuz she dont like the feel of it. And she also wont wear no clothes with tags in em. Etc. But I make her wear it anyway and after she has it on for so long she forgets about it hurting. So I think your daughter is just going through a phase. Anyway I hope this helps.