Presents

In this case, I usually pick a charity and give a gift in the child's name so it fulfills a gift but the parent's request also and also teaches my own child the gift of giving something meaningful. Some charities I like are:
http://www.heifer.org/ --there are different amounts and different kinds of animals that you can choose to give to a family in a third world country so they can be financially independent.
there's also the Red Cross or Unicef.

I say that if the request was made for no gifts, you have to abide by it. For whatever reason, the parents don't want gifts, and bringing one if no one else does will make things awkward for all, especially the birthday child. I have heard a lot lately about families making the no-gift request. That being said, I also feel it IS the child's birthday and that is special and should be celebrated!! What about bringing the birthday boy/girl a balloon? Or at least a nice card with maybe a picture drawn by your son? Even a little "book" that your son writes about his friend, and illustrates (craft stores sell blank books that you could write in while your son dictates the story, then he can color the pictures). It at least acknowledges that his friend is turning 3, but it's not a wrapped toy or traditional gift. You might also bring a snack to add to the festivities. Good luck and let us know how it turns out. My oldest is turning 3 and I'm wondering if this might happen to us in the future!

You've got some good advice here already. I'll just add that your son could draw a picture; thoughtful and recyclable!

Dear M.,
If the invitation says no gifts, please respect the request. If you really, really want or need to give a gift, you might try calling the parents of the child involved and asking them if you can contribute food, wine- (for the adults of course!), or flowers for the party. You might also ask if you may bring a story book to read to the children at the party, and then "give" the book to the birhday child. Your son might also want to "draw" a picture or make a card to honor the birthday child. Hope this helps. L. S.

I had a christianing and my daughter's bday party all within one month. I asked for gift cards from some particular clothing stores so that when fall came I could purchase the clothes the kids needed. This was really huge as I saved over $150 in clothes expenses...just a thought. See if the hostess is open to the idea.

E. P.

The one gift for kids that never fails to please parents as well as children is a book. Not the Disney kind that simply shows scenes from movies, but a real kids book. Parents can read them to their kids, and later the kids can read them by themselves. It's one of those gifts that keep on giving, plus they don't take up a lot of space. It is also a very low-key gift (which is often what the "No gifts, please" people really want but don't know how to say in such a way that won't give office to some), not flashy, and inexpensive. No assembly required, you don't have to worry about batteries running out, and they don't get "broken". A book in a little gift bag would probably go over well. And the parents will love you for not bringing one more piece of "kid-bling" to their house!

Good luck!

My little guy (19 months) loves animals! We visit the Animal Rescue League near our home all the time. I think if some one gave them a gift in his name he (we) would be thrilled. So maybe see what the birthday boy/girl is interested in and give $20 to a non-profit that is relevant.
-S.

Good Morning M.,

A gift certificate to Chucky Cheese or
a playtime place in your area..
Then it is a gift for mom and baby.

And just thinking now.....maybe she doesn't want gifts
because it is a "season of birthdays" and it will be hard for the mom to get a lot of presents.....??!!
or her view maybe that it is silly to buy for one another....instead of pooling her $$$ for a big want. I have heard mothers and people in general talk about this....

Anyway...hope this helps!!
Sincerely,

A. L.T.M.

Hi M.,
Someone already mentioned this but ask the mother/parents if you could bring something. Like cut up fruit for the kids or even just juice boxes. Then you aren't coming empty handed and I am sure the mother/parents would really appreciate it--one less thing for them to buy or worry about.
Good luck!

You could put a couple sheets of stickers in a card - kids that age love stickers. Or a subscription to a children's magazine - Click, Ladybug, My Big Backyard, Highlights.