Present for His 2Nd Wedding in Two Years

Updated on July 23, 2011
S.R. asks from Farmington, MI
16 answers

My good friend's son is getting remarried (to another girl) two years after his first wedding. These both are at-home weddings and we are only invited to the dinner reception, not the ceremony. Does this second wedding require the same $$ amount
for a gift as his first marriage? I'm thinking not as much. What are your thoughts, Mamas?
While I wish them well, I'm hoping there's not another wedding in two years. I really don't think he's very mature.

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers



answers from Denver on

No invite to the ceremony? That's slightly rude. Why would they not invite you to that, but invite you to the reception?

I wouldn't do an expensive gift. Maybe a pack of movie tickets or
gift certificate to dinner somewhere?

I would imagine most people attending this wedding/reception are hesitant to give generously a second time.

Best wishes-

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Rochester on

If it was me marrying a second time, I wouldn't remember how much someone gave me the first time. And I wouldn't want them to worry about it for a second. Whatever is comfortable for you is perfectly fine. The couple will open it later and be grateful for whatever you gave them.
[But If I had to suggest an amount, I'd say $50 is just the right amount. :]

2 moms found this helpful

More Answers


answers from Kansas City on

There is no requirement on a gift's worth or dollar amount to give. It's up to you. You know him and know your available funds. If you don't care for the situtation then simply send regrets.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I would do $30. $10 is cheap. $20 is for birthdays and graduation.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Los Angeles on

I wouldn't put as much into a second wedding gift, espically so quickly after the first one. Might do like $20 or $50 to a restaurant, if that. But that's along the lines of thinking that this relationship might not last either.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

I think it all depends if they live toguether or not ..sometimes people that don't live toguether need a lot more good stuff than the ones that already do.. I have a friend that got married and separated after 2 months this was last year.. now she's in another relanshionship and expecting a baby.. she's very happy..

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Hartford on

There is no set amount to spend on a gift or to give as a cash gift. You give whatever you feel like giving. You don't need reasons for giving him/them less than his first wedding. If your friend were ever rude enough to ask why you spent less this time around (which she would only know if he told her and complained because he was keeping track and so was she) you wouldn't even have to respond. I would give "The Look" and simply change the subject.

People ought to understand that finances are tight for everyone which is probably why they're having this wedding at home. It sounds like they're keeping it small and low key, and are probably having a very small church service or justice of the peace.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

I just got remarried after being married 18 years and divorced 4 years. Which I believe is a more reasonable gap than two years. I asked for no gifts because it is tacky as hell to expect gifts for a second marriage. Granted people gave us gifts but they were given completely as a choice by the givers.

Just an FYI the gifts I did get were more than my first wedding but hey 22 years inflation and all that. :p

What I am saying is no gift should be expected so give from the heart not out of obligation.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Chicago on

I don't think you should judge someone without knowing exactly the circumstances. I was married for 3 years and realized it was a mistake and got a divorce. I met the love of my life just 3 years after the divorce and we got married right away. I wasn't too young, or irresponsible or rash the first time, and I wasn't any of those things the second time (being well into my 30s the second time). Sometimes things just don't turn out the way you want them so you do the best you can. And sometimes life just gives you a second chance at happiness.

My second wedding wasn't out of greed, and honestly I wouldn't have cared if we didn't get any gifts. I was just happy to share my day. The people who knew me and love me were very generous and wanted me to start my marriage off right.

Forget the fact that he's been married before. How well do you know him, and although it sounds kind of rude to put it this way, how well do you like him? If you like him a lot and want to wish him well, spend what you can afford and what you feel will give him a heartfelt gift. If you don't care for the person, spend what you feel is appropriate, or gracefully decline.

I dislike the old idea that a person who gets married a second time does not "deserve" nice gifts or a nice wedding. Every couple deserves a wonderful wedding and heartfelt gifts, no matter what the dollar amount spent is.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Indianapolis on

Maybe he's getting married again for the gifts, lol! In that case get him one of those joke cards with 5 bucks in it, doesn't seem serious so why get him something serious?? Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

That's close together! I would give 1/2 of what I gave for the first.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

I don't know the proper etiquette but as my husband's second wife (his second wedding , my first), we weren't sure how to handle gifts. (You're not the only one trying to figure out what to do). We had some family and friends bring gifts, some did not. Your friends son realizes he did this two years ago and some people simply give you a gift once (to last a lifetime). If you are planning a "middle of the road" gift, what we really enjoyed were gift cards to restaurants and movies. A second marriage is tough with all the constraints of former relationships and pressure to have a successful marriage after a recent failure. I would suggest helping them maintain a "date night" instead of giving cash that will ultimately go to paying off bills. Just my thoughts. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Detroit on

I would only give him $50 this time around. Especially since you don't think this will last either.



answers from Detroit on

Gifts are not expected for 2nd weddings, in my opinion. Maybe if it were a big fancy wedding, I'd be inclined to give a larger gift to help offset their expenses.
You definetely don't need to give the same amt of money for the 2nd wedding as the first. If it's her first wedding, her friends and family will still give the generous gifts. Your's was already given.


answers from Biloxi on

I don't know - to not give a gift, or give less of a gift, just because it is a second wedding seems like a slight to the bride. Really, it is not her fault (is it) that his first marriage ended.

Now if there is a third wedding in another couple of years someone really needs to speak to the boy. LOL



answers from Detroit on

I'd get a smaller gift and not feel bad about it. Maybe something different like a restaurant giftcard.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions