Preschooler Bedtime Routine Not Working

Updated on October 01, 2009
K.H. asks from Commerce, GA
17 answers

I need some mom suggestions on getting my 3 year old daughter to sleep. Please, please, please do not tell me to use a routine. We have had the EXACT same routine for 2 years, and some days it works, some days not. Same start time. Bath, teeth, pajamas, 3 stories, kisses, bed. Quiet activities, no loud stuff an hour before bed. Monitoring diet so stimulating foods are not given before bed. Calming snacks, warm milk. Begin at 7pm and sometimes sleep does not come until 11:30 or 12am. Does anyone else have a preschooler with insomnia? Any unusual ideas, because I've tried all of the usual!

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So What Happened?

Thank you so much to everyone! Above all, it made me feel like I'm not alone! I am going to try everyone's advice, maybe one at a time, maybe a few at once. I'll let you know what works! THANK YOU so much for your responses!

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K.H.

answers from Charleston on

I started having my 4-yr-old daughter do pre-school workbooks in bed at bedtime instead of just reading to her. I got something age appropriate at Barnes and Noble. It seems to really wear her out mentally and then she is ready for songs and sleep.

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K.M.

answers from Spartanburg on

Kristen, i also have a 2 year old girl who refuses to take naps or go to bed at night,she also will not go to bed till 11:30 or 12 and that is when she gets up in my bed.let me know too if you find something that works.

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J.C.

answers from Columbus on

K.,
We have a very active daughter. She is almost two and a half. We try to make sure that she has been really active either before dinner or after so that she will be tired enough to fall asleep. Sometimes my husband plays with her or takes her for a walk around the block (she walks too). We have just found that she needs a lot of exercise. Maybe this will help. I hope so!

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J.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I think you are starting your routine too late in the day. My first child could not get to sleep if I missed the "window". I think it was "Healthy Sleep Habits, Heathly Child" that introduced this idea for us.... and it was a life safer- particularly since I had my next child 18 months later.
The book says to look for the things your child does to indicate that they are sleepy; rubbing eyes, rubbing nose, tugging ear, etc. Another important point of his is that 'sleep begets sleep'. The more sleep you get the more you are likely to sleep. I can see this is completely true for adults, so it makes sense for children as well.
My First child is now in Kindergarten and we are lights out at 7:30pm at the latest. So our dinner, bath, books routine starts early: 5:30pm/6:00pm ( I have two now)

Also you might be benefited from having you child take a nap/more naps during the day. Once a child is 'over-tired' it is much harder to get them to sleep.

Good Luck.

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B.S.

answers from Atlanta on

2 suggestions: the first is to make sure she is super active during the day. She may just have extra energy that needs to get out, so its taking her longer to get to sleep. The second would be to push the bedtime start time to later. Maybe start at 8 or 830. This gives her extra time to expend her awake energy, which may get her to sleep quicker after your bedtime routine. My girls have always been ones to go to be later, but when she sleeps she sleeps! Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Atlanta on

You already got your best advise from Lucy. That's exactly what I did. I took my son to th epark every evening and had him run around and play for at least an hour. Tire out your baby first then start the routine. Whenever I did not tire out my son we did not get to sleep. As they grow older and start school, the routine would remain but the high level of activity would slow down by itself. Your child would tell you he/she is tired. They would start the routine on time w/o been told. Hang in there.

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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

my son only gets his binky and sleepsack only in his bed...he is so ready for bed when its time, that he is dragging me to his bed just so he can get them. does she have a fav thing? maybe she only gets it a bedtime...hope she gets to sleeping~

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E.W.

answers from Atlanta on

Try a small potato, baked, skin and all with some butter and salt for a snack at bedtime. No protein on it. Just been reading a bit of Potatoes, Not Prozac author's website. Potatoes, when served without protein, increase the body's natural seratonin production in the night.

Another thought, I've been reading on here lately about parents who give their kids melatonin to naturally relax at bedtime.

My other idea, cut the afternoon nap WAY back. My oldest stop napping by two, and never had a problem sleeping at night. My youngest will be up until 10 occasionally when he has a really long nap.

Best,

E.

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T.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Are we speaking of my daughter?..lol I can't wait to read advice on this subject because I need help too! My eighteen month old is down at 8pm, falls asleep on her own, see her at 8 the next morning--her 4 year old sister-- I cannot get it right! I feel your concern, confusion & pain--you are not alone and like I typed I look forward to reading the advice you receive..Thanks for asking :)

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D.T.

answers from Atlanta on

Lavender bubble bath,relaxing music, melatonin, chamomile tea (make sure it is caffeine free), aromatherapy http://www.ehow.com/way_###-###-####_aromatherapy-sleep.h...

Also, make sure your child is getting enough sleep. If she is over tired it can actually make it harder for her to get to sleep. Go figure. 3 yr. olds need about 10-12 hours of sleep. Is she taking a nap? You might want to cut that out too. I have a kid in my class (pre-k) who will not go to sleep until midnight if she takes a nap. She's been like that since she was 3 so her parents send in quiet activities for her to do on her mat during nap time. They say they have a problem getting her to sleep even if she only sleeps like 10 minutes.

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J.S.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi K.,
Take away milk (replace with rice or almond milk) for three weeks (all sources), then remove all sources of gluten. Look online for more help (GFCF). Then, add proibotics into juice 1 time a day. 30 min before bedtime - give her 1 mg sublingual melatonin. It taste like a mint, so she should take it fine.
You can do all or none at the same time, the whole prescription works best. If you want details, drop me a note. J

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V.E.

answers from Atlanta on

How much is she sleeping in her afternoon nap? Some daycares let them sleep until they wake up which can be from lunch until maybe 4 pm and it wouldinterfere with nighttime sleep. You might ask that she not be allowed to sleep more than an hour. V.

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L.H.

answers from Augusta on

Is she getting enough exercise during the day? Sometimes just being outside will help.

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B.L.

answers from Atlanta on

All I can say is good luck. I have come to the conclusion that kids just fight sleep and it doesnt matter what you do. I have tried it all, and now I just accept it.

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C.A.

answers from Atlanta on

Melatonin? It's an herb-asked my ped if it was okay and she absolutely agreed and it saved my sanity dealing with two giggle boxes and horsing around for 2-3 hours and waking the next day ill as hornets. Twins have a way-but I wasn't having it! I wouldn't give it until you personally discuss with YOUR ped and you do your own research but for me it was a complete lifesaver. Eventually I think the melatonin forces them into a sleep schedule because my kids now will ask me to go to bed even without the use of the melatonin. They started at like 2 - 2 1/2 years old I would crush it up and put it in their sippy cup of milk they got before bedtime then it was brush teeth and a little t.v.
Good luck I know how insane it makes you feel! Especially when you are a working mommy too!

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L.C.

answers from Des Moines on

I know what your going through and here is my advise that fixed it for me i did just what you have been doing to a t but it never worked so i did the oposite i ran him wild befor bed we would wresle we would play tag anything that had him running around we did and let me tell you it worked like a charm and if you dont want to run around with him then play a game and say lets see how fast you can run to whatever if you get what i am saying i wish you the best of luck

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S.L.

answers from Spartanburg on

this is not much of a suggestion, but i'll offer it anyway! :) my 4 year old has never really consistently slept through the night, and an easy bedtime was a rarity (she usually fought sleep and stayed up late despite our best efforts). but this fall i decided i'd try moving bedtime up an hour, not really expecting anything, and it has been miraculous! she stays in bed, goes to sleep, and sleeps through the night the majority of the time.

my idea may not work for you, but i hope you can find something that does! i know it's exhausting!!

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