Preschool Dilema

Updated on June 09, 2009
P.O. asks from Antioch, TN
24 answers

I would like my 3yr old to be in some type school environment for both the purpose of socializing and learning, but I can't afford a K3 or feel like spending so much money for school his age before he starts real kindergarten. I do not want a daycare because my husband does that at home during the day. I am afraid my son is going to be behind when he starts kindergarten because of his age. He does not qualify for VPK this year because his 4th birthday is not until NOvember. I am a full time working mom and it is difficult for me to spend the time with him at home or else I would not even be thinking school until he is ready for kindergarten, but I just don't want to have him "waste" away at home, because my husband isn't the type to really spend time on school things. Not only that he works at nights and it's difficult already to watch our two kids much less do education type stuff. I don't want him watching TV all the time, I am just rambling on, because this is a real issue for me. What do you moms suggest and have any of you been in my position?

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C.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

Pat ~ maybe you can find daycare that has a teaching environment. My daycare lady watches children in her home and has for many years. She has a teaching ciriculum just like any "regular" school would. She has class every morning where all the kids (all ages) sit down and learn different things. My son is 3 and already knows his alphabet, counts to 25, writes his first name, writes numbers up to 5, knows shapes, colors, etc. It's not a regular class environment, but he loves and learns a lot.

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M.H.

answers from Orlando on

i send my daughter to goplay in atamonte springs for 6 hours a week. it is only 36$ a week and she loves it. it is a really nice place. go check it out.

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

Chritine has some great suggestions! And the bottom line is-your husband is home with him, it's part of his responsibility to do some kind of learning activity every single day. I don't want to sound unsympathetic to the situation at home. It's got to be difficult with both of you working different schedules but there are certain things that are part of the everyday responsibility just like feeding and bathing them.
There are tons of sites out there that have learning activities like:

http://fun.familyeducation.com/crafts/childrens-art-activ...

http://www.homeschoolingadventures.com/preschool.html

http://www.letteroftheweek.com/preschool_age_3.html

http://www.preschoolexpress.com/

He can write your son's name in yellow highlighter and your son can practice writing his name, work on basic counting skills with everyday things around the house, coloring, painting, blocks, moon sand, reading to/with the kids everyday, etc are all things that can be done around the house.

Ever since I had my kids I have said that being a parent is the hardest job ever-if you are doing it right!

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

What does your husband do with him all day long?
Surely he is doing more than plopping him in front of the TV. Is he reading stories with him? Building block towers and flying paper airplanes? Is he having your son help with the chores (sorting laundry or taking out the bathroom trash cans)? Just like moms who are at home all day with their little ones, learning doesn't have to be done sitting down at the table with specific school like activities. Sitting outside and talking about the shade cast by the sun through the trees, identifying bugs and explaining how the sun and rain make the grass grow (and that's why we have to mow it) are all learning, too. True, he could learn that Grass starts with the letter "g" and so do "green" and "grow", so maybe all you really need to do is model some of this behavior for your husband. What do you do when you get home from work in the evening? Do you give your son his bath? Do you tell him how "shower" and "soap" and "suds" all start with the letter "s" and write "s"s on the wall of the bathtub with bath crayons? So many little things can be incorporated into non-school like learning. If your husband isn't doing them, suggest he start, and you do too. You could start with "A" and post the letter on the fridge before you leave in the morning. Make it a game for your son AND husband.. how many things that start with "A" can they find while you are gone? Ask hubby to write a list as they find them. Leave a single "art" item out each morning for Dad to "do" with them each day. Leave out the playdoh (the blue playdoh on "B" day) and a note asking if they can make all the shapes: Cube, Square, triangle, circle, etc..

It may not be that your husband isn't willing to do these things, but that he is mentally too tired to THINK of and PLAN them. If you supply the ideas and lay them out, it might make all the difference.

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C.S.

answers from Miami on

Hi Pat,

I see that you are in Jax and I'm down in Ft. Lauderdale so I can't give you location specific ideas but here are some things to think about:

I'm guessing based upon your son's bday that he will go to VPK next year. So you've got 2 years until kindergarten. That being said, here are some easy things for Dad to do that aren't as expensive as 3 day/ week preschool:

Look into some sports activities: SoccerTots, SluggerTots, PlayBall are all nationwide activities. Here is playball in Florida: http://florida.usaplayball.com

These activities help learn following directions, socialization, as well as coordination and motor skills development. They will also give Dad some ideas for things to do on his own (practice the skills and games they learn).

Sign your son up for an art class or a music class or whatever he and your husband are interested in. I found an interesting website easily: jax4kids.com with lots of info.

Suggest that your husband take your son to story hour. You can find them at local libraries and even at bookstores. Story hour can be good for your younger children also, we started taking my son when he was about 9 months old (able to sit).

Sign up everyone for swim lessons. Super important in Florida and will also give Dad another thing to practice in their free time.

One last idea, look for programs in parks - city, county or state parks. We have a program in Broward County called NatureTots, where each month a different county park does a program for 2-5 year olds on a nature theme. Younger children are welcome to attend as "observers".

If you consider that part-time preschool would be at least $300/month, that gives your husband a nice sized budget to work with for activities. Please let him know that there are Dads that go to my son's art class (Young at Art museum), SoccerTots and my husband takes my son to swim lessons.

Good luck! C.

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M.H.

answers from Jacksonville on

Pat,

I send my children to First Avenue Montessori in Jacksonville Beach. The director there is very flexible. She will let you pick how many and what days you send your child.

I'm pretty sure she charges $20 a morning (3 hours) or $30 for a full day. You could send your little one just on Fridays or something like that. That way he could get the benefit of socializing, but it wouldn't break the bank.

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L.H.

answers from Miami on

it's late for Head Start programs for next year, but you never know...check them out and maybe there's a wait-list.
Is there a church near you w/ a little school where your son can go from 9-12? sometimes they even have scholarships...I would check all the local churches.

next you say your husband cannot help w/ education, but maybe he could do this:

The Home Instruction for Parents of Preschool Youngsters(HIPPY), is a home-based, early intervention program that helps parents teach their three, four, and five-year-old children. The program stresses the vital role that parents play in their children's education.

http://floridahippy.fmhi.usf.edu/

http://floridahippy.fmhi.usf.edu/contact.html

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V.

answers from Melbourne on

You could encourage your husband to work with him on some fun things, and you can work with him on the weekends. There are free story groups in most libraries, and some book stores. You can also hook up with a play group that is available on your time.

During summer there are Vacation Bible Schools that go for a week each for very cheap or free. Summer day camp can also provide a little social structure for a while. You could also talk to people you know who would be willing to come over and work with him for a bit on some days.

Here's a nice long run on sentence for you. The main things he should know before Kindergarten are his ABC's, counting by 1's 2's 5's and 10's, adding small amounts, recognizing letters, blending sounds, rhyming, words with the same beginning or ending sound, continuing patterns, shapes, colors, sorting, cutting, coloring, gluing, stacking and building, days, months, years, seasons, dressing himself, tying, zipping, and snapping, holding a pencil or crayon correctly, parts of books, illustrator and author, going from left to right while reading, hearing books read, reading a bit, answering questions about what was read, guessing what might happen, using imagination, coming up with ideas, some easy sight words, his name, address, and phone number, manners, cleaning up, listening, focusing, speaking, lining up, taking turns, sharing and compromise, and following directions. Many of these things like counting and letter sounds, you can easily have him go over in the car or while you are fixing clothes, food or whatever. Many things you teach him in everyday life and should come naturally after a while. There is more covered now then there was several years ago, but as long as you work with him on normal toddler and prek stuff, he should be fine.

There are some good prek programs on TV on PBS, Noggin, etc. There are also some good computer programs for pre-k, and the internet has lots of sites like starfall and PBS kids, with educational games that are free.

If you really want him in a school setting before VPK most churches with prek tend to be less expensive then other prek's. You can also check to see if he would qualify for Head Start. Even if you don't get him into school this coming year, he will still be able to attend VPK the following year because Kindergarten has the same cut-off dates that VPK does.

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R.C.

answers from Orlando on

consider a montessori school. they are a bit more espensive but the kids do actual "meaningful work" my 4 yr old has ben there 2 yrs part time now and thrives on the interaction, the education, the structure..we started only 2 mornings a week and then went T. full days. next year will be 5 mornings and 2 full days to take advantage of vpk but to still allow me my mondays with her. dont get me wrong, they have outside play and painting and stuff too... but a serious focus on math, reading prep...my daughter goes to lake underhill montessori ...

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S.W.

answers from Miami on

Home Schooling is very popular throughout Florida. If your husband is able and willing, he can take him to local activities that are scheduled through the homeschooling groups. There is also the public library and community centers, which are free or low cost. Just 2 days a week...
Have you asked other moms at work what their options and solutions are?
Perhaps you live in a community with other stay at home and working parents and you will all agree to a co-op with you offering the weekend slot. It doesn't have to be more than 3 hours a day, with parents pitching in snacks and educational activities.
Blessings, S.

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A.L.

answers from Pensacola on

Hello!

I can help. I am the owner of The Babysitter Tree. We are a Caregiver Referral service, local and unique to our area. We can refer many types of Caregivers based upon your "wish list" of credentials in a Caregiver. For children we offer Tutors, Babysitters and Nannies. In your case, I believe an occasional tutor could be helpful. I've had many requests from parents in your position and they do find it helpful to prepare children for things they will be covering in Pre-K and Kindegarten.

At The Babysitter Tree, you get custom referrals based upon your "wish list" and location. You can then, review their Profiles and decide who you would like to interview. At the interviews you conduct, you can review their interview files. They should include their FBI background check, their sex offender check, their references, potential degrees and credentials (CPR and First Aid certifications, lifeguards, teahcers, nurses, etc.) You may hire anyone you feel is a good match for your family directly. They are all over the age of 18 and have their own transportation. You may negotiate their pay, hours and duties, so that you can find something that works for your schedule and budget.

I would love to help you find your peace of mind. Just give me a call ###-###-#### or an email at ____@____.com also have a website at www.thebabysittertree.com.

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J.M.

answers from Gainesville on

I say it is worth it. My daughter never went to any daycare type thing until she was 2 1/2, and similar situation, her dad was home with her in the day but I didnt feel he was doing what he could be and should be doing. So in August of last yr, she was 3 1/2 yrs old, I put her in a K3 class at a school located inside of a church, which has school up through high school (but they are separate from the young kids). She is headed into K4 this yr and although it was right around $400/mo for her to go to school now, it was worth it. She got use to a school astmosphere, teachers, children as well as the sitting and learning and doing activities. I say its worth the sacrifice and it gives you peace of mind and know that you have started him on a good path for the next 12-13 yrs at least of school.

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C.A.

answers from Miami on

Hi Pat

All of these ladies have great educational ideas, and they are great for this year to get him started. Next year is more important, he needs to go to a school where he will learn socialization and rules like sitting quiet when being read to and learning to play and share with others. These are also very important things he needs to know when he goes to kindergarten. You don't have to worry to much that he can't read by the time he gets to kindergarten. He will learn that in kindergarten. You want to make sure he knows his name and colors. You don't want him to advanced by the time he is in kindergarten, because he will become bored and act out. I volunteer at my kids school and I see this alot. If they already know how to read sometimes they get put aside (not on purpose) while the others catch up. Kindergarten is when they learn to read and write and learn a little bit of math. My kids go and went to a Lutheran pre school in Weston, and they learn all the things they need to succeed in Kindergarten. It is a wonderful caring school and they prepare them for kindergarten. The bottom line is he should be in some kind of pre school the year before he goes to kindergarten. If anything he will have a routine and learn basic rules to cope in school.

Good luck
C.:)

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J.C.

answers from Miami on

Hi Pat,
I completetly understand how you feel. I have a 2 1/2 yr old son who started an academy in Jan. 2009. I was also worried about my son falling behind once entering kindergarten. I did some research on different "academies" in my area. Honestly, they are all pretty costly and do not offer much learning. Most of these schools out there are more like a daycare and not a learning center.I have my son in a "great" academy, part-time, 3 days a wk. Ever since he has been there, he has picked up in his vocabulary and so much more; I can honestly say that I'm in awwww. If you'd like further info, I would be glad to share. Good luck and hope you can find a "great" school for your lil' one.

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R.O.

answers from Miami on

Hi Pat. we are in you rsituation now with our 3 years old daughter. We cannot afford some of the schools here and the ones we can we don't believe in some of the ways they teach. We do flash cards with her, sing songs, just little things like that. Make learning games out of everyday situations- when you're driving ask him to count the cars or tell you the colors of them. We also only allow her to watch educational tv shows like the SPROUT, NOGGIN. As far as social interaction you can take him to parks, or enroll him into community programs with other kids his age. Hope some of this may help!

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T.B.

answers from Boca Raton on

I am the working M. of a 3.5 year old DD born in November, too. My daughter attends preschool full time (I'm a high school teacher, so off for the summer) and my husband works full time days, too.
As a teacher, I think the foundations she is now receiving at daycare are phenomenal! She recognizes all her letters, numbers to 20 and can write all of them! She prints her name (in upper and lower case!) Aside from the "academics" she tells me about her "friends", learns how to interact properly with other children and is learning all the skills of listening to the teacher and following other classroom routines. (She even knows her days of the week and the schedules associated with those, too.)
While I do have many moments wishing I could be a stay at home M. full time, I know that having her in daycare is really giving her socialization and instruction.
If you can't afford part time (many schools offer it for this age), look into programs through the county libraries, various city recreation programs... they are lower cost but will offer the social aspect you might be looking for.
As far as educating your son early, if you want it done professionally (I hesitate to say "right" in fear of backlash from homeschoolers), seek someone trained to do this. Yes, there is a cost associated with it... on the other hand you mentioned that he's "wasting away" at home. Many parents spend all kinds of $ on sports, toys, games, computer gadgets... spending money on your son's education isn't such a bad investment when you look at it from that perspective.
Good luck with your choices.
T.
High school teacher, PBC
M. to Katie, 3.5 years
M. to Matthew, 18 months

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D.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

Pat- you dont mention where you are? Not all preschools are expensive and most offer part time schedules. Either 2-3 days a week or 9-1 hours, etc. My son's school is comparatively very affordable (125 wk) for full time 7-6, including snacks in a Montessouri school. My son has learned more in 3 months at this little one room school house than he did in a year at the big campus style preschool for double the money going 9-1. You have to look for small one room school houses. They are much more affordable and along with the curriculum, they also offer old fashion values. Let us know where you are at, maybe someone could refer a nearby school that is affordable.

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B.R.

answers from Orlando on

See if you can find a M.'s Morning Out program at a church. You don't necessarily have to go to the church. My son has been going since he turned 3 and will be 4 in September. It's twice a week for 3.5 hours at a time or even 3 days or more a week if you desire. Where we go it's $12 for the 3.5 hour session. He just loves it and wishes he could go more often. Best of luck.

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A.G.

answers from Mayaguez on

Kindergarden is a recent invention, probably for working moms convenience. Before that kids went to grandparents, neighbors, friends, or stayed at home. Nobody is considered "behind" because they didn't attend pre school. You anmd your husband can teach him lots of things without a school enviroment. Colors, shapes, sizes, up, down, left and right are all found in everyday things. He can watch Sesame Street and other preschool programs that will also teach by playing. You'll be surprised how much he absorbs. Good luck.

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B.E.

answers from Boca Raton on

My daughter also goes to First United Methodist Preschool in Boynton Beach. She had Mrs. Avogardo for PK-3 and she loved her!! Like most of the parents, we don't go to church there, and it is a very welcoming environment. Now that she's four, she can't wait to go back next year for the VPK!
Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Daytona Beach on

Hi Pat! My daughter goes to a preschool in Sanford... it's called Academic Beginnings. Wasn't sure where you live... it's $25/day (or $100/week)and although they do have between 3months of age and 5yrs old..... the kids are broken up into "classes" and that way they are with their peers and learn the appropriate age related things! My daughter loves it! They do lots of "preschool" things as well as lots of creative play. If you are interested, check them out online. Good Luck! A.

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T.C.

answers from Boca Raton on

Hi Pat ....

My mother in law teaches at First United Methodist Church Christian preschool in Boynton Beach. She has taught there for over 20 years and its such a great little school. It feels very "old school" and wholesome to me. We are not church goers, but still believe and they don't push anything on the kids. Just a loving environment. My daughter just finished the VPK program there (4's). They only do 3 and 4 year olds and have them on separate days. The 4's are free with the vpk program and go m-w-f 8:30-1:30 and the 3's go on tues and thurs 9-12. This is great for your hubby to maybe get some sleep in the morning if he works nights and still be able to spend the day with him. The registration fee is $75.00 and monthly tuition is $115.00. Its a great program!!!! Like I said im not a church goer and I'm catholic at that ... it's just a nice wholesome environment. Its located one the corner of seacrest and ocean in boynton ... near the post office (pink/peachy church my daughter calls it) My mother in laws name is Ms Heller and she does one of the 3's classes. The year my daughter went there was only 8 kids per class with i think 4 classes. Let me know if you sign up and how it all works out! (their number is ###-###-####)
Best of luck
T.

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N.B.

answers from Orlando on

Hi there,
Since u can't afford preschool for your child, I would suggest u get some workbooks for his age and puzzles. I got some workbooks and puzzles for my daughter and it worked to divert her from the computer and tv. Get your hubby to sit and do puzzles or workbook w/him or u can do it on the weekends or whenever u r off from work. You can get puzzles from the dollar store for 3+ yr old,these r fun and educational. The workbook i found great is the BrainQuest Workbook. There are the big workbook which u can write in them or the smaller workbook which have questions and answers. Good luck and have fun....

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J.N.

answers from Orlando on

Have you ever heard of StarChild Academy? They have several locations (I'm not sure where you're located). They have different programs, i.e. part-time programs if you can't afford something full-time. My son has been going there since right after he turned 3, and within a few weeks they had him writing his name! He can speak words and some sentences in 4 different languages and sign language, and when you see their facility you will be so at ease leaving your child there. You can even check up on him during the day online because there are cameras in every room! It is definitely important for your child to be in a structured school environment early and associate with his peers. StarChild is definitely a remarkable place. I believe it is starchildacademy.com. Good luck!

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