Prepairing 2 Year Old for New Sibling

Updated on November 04, 2006
J. asks from Provo, UT
4 answers

First I just want to give two thumbs up to the person who suggested "Parenting with Love and Logic" to a woman who was having a hard time with her teen. Because I have/had similar issues with my teen I read through the responses. What great advice!! I have got to get my own copy to refer to when I get off track!!

REAL Question:
We are expecting our third; the youngest now will be two when this one is born. I am looking for good suggestions to prepare her for the new sibling from sharing time with the new one to getting her to embrace her new sister/brother.

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C.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi J., congratulations! Well, my cousin brought home foster siblings on the same day my baby was born. The youngest was 15 months. Two months later, she ends up pregnant. Having already decided to keep the kids, she was worried about the little boy interacting with the new born. We constantly put my baby down while he played and always remind him to be gentle with her and he is. Now he picks her up, sits her on his lap, and brings her toys. The baby is being birthed right now as we speak - Yipee. We shall see how good it all worked. I expect some episodes. P.S. I also like some of the ideas the others have given by letting the 2YO help pick things out for the baby.

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C.R.

answers from Sacramento on

J.,
I am a mother of a 4 1/2 yr old and a 1 1/2 yr old and to prepare my oldest daughter i would have her help me pick things out for the baby like blankets, outfits, etc. I got a book called "Big sister" that explains that big sisters can do things that babies cant do like eating regulare food, playing at the park, etc. If you nurse allow her to sit next to you while you are nursing to watch tv or if she wants to read a book let her hold it while you maybe read. Have her help you bring a diaper or change of clothes for the baby every once in awhile. If you are going to decorate the nursery try and find things she can help do to decorate so that she feels part of it. she will still show jealousy but it might not be as bad if you can do some of these types of things with her. You can even have her help you do things in the kitchen or put things away while the baby is sleeping if she is awake. Try and spend individual time with her while the baby is sleeping or daddy is holding the baby so that she doesnt feel left out even if it is only 15 min. Daddy is going to have to help give her attention while you are taking care of the baby at night if you are home by yourself with the 2 during the day. I even try and spend 15-30 minutes alone with my 4 1/2 yr old without my 1 1/2 yr old and it does help alot. My daughter was excited about him coming to live with us. The other thing is we got her a Big sister T-shirt and we got her a Big Girl/Sister Gift after he was born. We got our daughter a bike but you can do something smaller for her that is only hers. Some people give the older sibling a gift from the baby and then the older sibling gives a gift to the baby when they see them at the hospital. There are different ways to do it. It is a matter of what you can do and how you prepare her.

Good luck.

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A.H.

answers from Phoenix on

Well I'll tell you what I did. My daughter was just turned 1 when I found out about my son and from day one I reminded her that mommy was makeing a baby inside her tummy for you to have as a brother/sister. keep her involved. take her shopping with you for new baby stuff. tell her we are buying this for "our" new baby. (my daughter thinks my son is hers it's cute but annoying so make sure you say ours) Also I had her help me with folding clothes when it was almost time and we'd fold them over and over again so I could remind her. we set up the baby stuff over and over again. while doing that I tought her what everything was for because when the baby comes your gonna need those extra hands helping you get stuff instead of causing trubble while your tending to baby. Also make sure that everytime she is yelling that the baby can hear her. don't tell her to be quiet because the baby will not be used to the fits when he gets here and he'll cry from the noise. My daughter is really loud and my sone had adapted to sleeping through her loudness while in the womb and when he came out my daughter was throwing fitts as loud as can be and he just slet right through it like it was nothing. To me that was the best thing ever. With my daughter ever nose startled her because I was alone most of my prgnancy so there was no noise at all. It was so bad because after she was born you had to be really quiet around her sleeping and it was almost impossible. very agravating. also have her talk to your tummy. that way the baby will relate to her voice right away and thry'll have a bond from day one.

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A.P.

answers from Spokane on

Well, I was 4 when my brother was born and my parents had a 'Big Sister Party' just for me (so I didn't feel left out)! I got a baby doll and an I'm a big sister T-shirt & baloon. We had cake and some family over, they all talked to me about being a big sister & how neet it would be. I couldn't wait until my mom had my little brother! This would also be a good oppertunity to have the teenager help you plan the party. Hope this helps! It was a long time ago but I still remember it.

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