Pregnant with Second Baby and SO TIRED

Updated on May 10, 2008
J.F. asks from Matthews, NC
15 answers

I am 23 weeks along with our second baby. We found out it is a boy this time and we are very excited. I remember, carrying Sophie, how GREAT I felt second trimester. I was waiting for that boost of energy this time, but have yet to feel it AT ALL. As a matter of a fact, I am even more tired...all the time...than I was when I was sick just about the entire first three months! I am so worried about my husband being dissapointed that the house is not always as clean as he likes it, or that the toys are not all picked up when he gets home like they usually are. I really don't think he understands HOW tired I am. I don't even understand it, I just FEEL it. I am not depressed...I am very excited about our son (who we are having a hard time picking a name for..so for now he is babyboyForeman) so the tiredness is not from depression. I just don't know why I feel so tired all the time. To add to it all, my almost two year old decided it was time to cut out naps. I don't get that either...she went from taking two-three hours naps, to not taking any at all. She stays in her crib and talks, and plays for about an hour, but never falls asleep. Anyone expierence the second trimester slows? I keep reading how you feel great in the 2nd...so don't know why I am the opposite of everything I read.

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So What Happened?

Wow...thanks for your responses so far. i have to say, my prenatals (that i never miss a day of) already have extra iron..(which is why i can't move my bowels) so its not low iron. take stool softener for that problem, eat tons of lettuce, drink juice, eat fruit, walk 1/2 hour a day for exercize. I am glad to hear about the housework things,,,that i am not the only one who has/does fall behind on such things. Somehow, you just feel better knowing that you are not the only one :-) I really am grateful for the time you have all taken to write me...I am grateful for Mamasource, as I have very little mama friends who i actually see in person these days. So, thanks to you all for your time and advise :-)

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K.S.

answers from Raleigh on

That is what is so difficult about the second preg, and the third! I am a grandma now, but I remeber it well, the total exhaustion, and fantasizing sp?, about just sleeping uninterrupted! Try not to stress, you will recover in a couple of years! Ask hubby to pick up for you when he gets home and take little girl out for a good run. Get up in the morning, and get outside- take her to the park and run her buns off. When you put her in after a good lunch, you lie down, Try to keep a routine. Eat well, salads, try to walk a little, but, for now rest a lot. You are growing a baby!

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S.J.

answers from Charlotte on

Hi J.,

I was the same way. I was energetic and bubbly with my first pregnancy, but exhausted with my second. Remember that the house can be cleaned long after the children are grown. They are only little once. My husband used to complain about the house, too. I finally asked him which chores he wanted to take over since it was important to him, but I was already busy taking care of 2 kids, washing, bathing, cooking, shopping, changing diapers, and doing as much cleaning as I could. Suddenly, being perfect wasn't as important to him as it once was. You are only one person with a list of jobs that 5 men couldn't handle. Give yourself a break and do what you can...the rest will wait.

Good luck and congratulations!!

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C.F.

answers from Charlotte on

I was never like anything I read either. All I can tell you is with my first pregnancy the entire time I stayed so tired I had to take cat naps. I baby proofed the entire living room top to bottom, then gated it off, I slept on a pallet in the floor for about 15-20 minutes at a time, just to get my boost of energy while Emily would play in the living room. The other option I had was to put her in her crib and let her play quitely while I slept in the bedroom with her. Don't worry so much about keeping the house clean, trust me it's going to get harder with two kids anyways. If one doesn't want you the other one does and niether one understands why your cleaning, and that will make you feel guilty. The hubby probally doesn't mind about the house cleaning as much as you think he does, maybe you should talk to him about it and explain everything to him and see what happens. Good Luck.

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O.L.

answers from Richmond on

WELL THE 2ND IS SO DIFFERENT TRY TO EAT FRUIT IR SOMETHING THAT GIVES YOU ENERGY DO YOU TAKE YOUR VITAMINS B/C THAT COULD HELP ALOT BUT YOUR HUSBAND DONT UNDERSTAND OR NO ONE DOES UNLESS THEY HAVE BEEN THROUGH WHAT YOU HAVE BUT DONT WORRY STRESS IS NOT GOOD FOR THE BABY SO DONT WORRY ABOUT THE TOYS TAKE A FEW OUT AT A TIME SO YOU WONT HAVE TO DO SO MUCH BUT DINNER COOK SOMETHING EASY U NEED TO STAY OFF YOUR FEET THE 2ND ONE NEEDS MORE REST THAN THE FIRST ONE BUT GOOD LUCK WITH EVERYTHING

ABOUT ME:I AM 22 AND I HAVE 2 BEAUTIFUL KIDS THEY ARE 1 AND 2 I HAVE A HARD WORKING HUSBAND I AM A STAY AT HOME MOM OF MY TWO OF COARSE BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE FEELIN

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S.O.

answers from Charlotte on

I could learn a lot from the responses you got! I'm 28 weeks pregnant with my second and my husband keeps saying, "I thought you felt so great the first time!". I did! I felt awesome, I loved being pregnant, but this time around I am always tired and miserable! My iron was low at the beginning, but it's fine now. Maybe having a very active 4 year old has something to do with it!
My husband wasn't around my first pregnancy (not beacuse he's a bum! He isn't the father of that child, so he wasn't in the picture until a couple years later!), so this is all new to him, and he just cannot understand why I'm so tired even though I work less than him, and anytime I say sorry that the house isn't cleaned and say I was tired, he tells me how hard he works and so on. Eventually I'm hoping it will dawn on him that working 40 hour weeks, and being pregnant 24/7 cannot even be compared!! I think it slowly is and will really once the baby comes. At least I hope!

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C.T.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

I'm 22 almost 23 weeks and I am litterly exhausted all the time. I alson have another he is 17m old but I think maybe it could be the season or at least thats what I am getting told. I was never like this with my son.

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K.G.

answers from Richmond on

I know when I was pregnant with Austin I felt the same way you are. All I wanted to do was sleep. For the most part with my girls, Adria and Arlie I was fine. But with Arlie when the third trimester hit I was useless. With her though it ended up being a potasium problem. I was in and out of the hospital because my potassium would drop so low. So maybe you could try eating and drinking more things with potassium in it like bananas and orange juice. Also if you are anemic that could cause you to be tired. I am a little odd because I have always been anemic but I was fine while I was pregnant. Being tired is how I know my iron is too low. So I would suggest adding more iron to your diet. My OB always put me on prenatal vitamins with extra iron in it but foods such as spinach, orange juice, liver, and most green leafy vegies have iron in them. I hope this helps.

A little about me:
I am a 22 year old mother of 2 girls and 1 boy. Adria - 4, Austin - 20 months, and Arlie - 6 months. I have been married for almost 2 years now but together for 4. Mike and I met in high school so I guess you can say we are high school sweethearts.

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B.R.

answers from Fayetteville on

I had the exact same thing ith being so much more tired with my second, I think it has alot to do with keeping up with a kid during pregnancy, something you didn't have to do during the first one. Nap when you can (you can't buy naps like the ones you get when your preggers lol). And if some things have to slide, housework and such, let the slide. It is not the end of the world. As far the constipation is concerned, when I was pregnant the first time, I got prescription laxatives that had a stool softener built in, so I was able to go, and I didn't get the cramps that usually come with other stool softeners. Ask your dr about maybe trying those.

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A.T.

answers from Norfolk on

I went through it the second time too. I started to get migraines that would last for weeks. would wake up with a headache go to sleep with it just to wake up to it again. I didn't have insurance (long story) so I couldn't go to the doctor. The only that seemed to relieve the pain and give me a boost of energy was I would take a shot of pepsi with an actual shot glass. I only did this because I read that a little caffeine isn't harmful. One column I read actually said up to 24oz per day was ok!?! But a shot was sufficient. On june 9th I was doing my daughters hair and started to feel dizzy so I sat down next to her started to continue to do her hair and I lost my vision to the left periph. I was preparing to leave for a doctor visit because my insurance kicked in that monday. Thank goodness my husband was there and able to drive. About 15 min later my vision came back. I told the nurse and she did a blood test and said that some hormone was really high and could be caused by a tumor! I have to get into a endocrinologist to check my hormones...The very next morning I had my son!

I couldn't get my energy up to take care of him let alone my todler and my house and my home businesses. I got put onto A.C.T. It's all natural, no caffeine, low sugar. better and cheaper than redbull (plus boosts mood and libido). I would get the info from the website and show it to your doctor and ask if the think it's alright for you to drink it in addition to the supplements you already take. Here's the link:
www.m2cglobal.com/actx
ps - once you try it you will be hooked like me and will want to tell everybody about it. they give you a free website where you can send people and make additional income from your own orders and everybody else's so it's win-win!

HTH

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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L.C.

answers from Jacksonville on

my husband was always complaining about the house too.....then i went back to work and the shoe was on the other foot.. yeah he did laundary and dishes but then we would run out of stuff and he would wonder why????well seems he thought the fridge stocked itself and the bathroom magically bleached itself and the check book mailed all the bills...take a weekened of say your on strike and make sure there is no milk or some nessicity that he would need and make him understand how hard it is to be a one women show. i too was exhausted when i was pregnant for my son i work 12hr days 6 days a week cooked and cleaned and granted my husband is infantry so he works hard but he did not lift a finger till i made him do stuff on his own. then from time to time forget to get his cereal or something he'll start payming more attention to how tired you are and either not complain or help you out.

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S.B.

answers from Norfolk on

Hello J.! I totally understand your fatigue. The second pregnancy was much harder. I was tired, but still had to work full-time and take care of a two year old. She stopped napping as well, and wanted so much more of my time and attention. Also, I felt uncomfortable sleeping at night. It felt like I never got a chance to catch up on my rest! The only thing that saved me was exercise. I made myself, my dog and my daughter walk, and sometimes my husband, walk with me almost everyday, even in the winter. It made us sleep well and even gave me some energy to cook dinner! Hang in there! The third trimester was actually the best for me, the second time around!

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C.K.

answers from Charlotte on

J.,
I had the same problem when I was pregnant with my son, you might want to talk to your doctor about it because your iron levels may be down. It just means that you will have to start taking more iron along with the prenatal vitamins that you are already taking. I hope this helps. Would write more but my son is screaming in his bed right now so gotta go. Let me know what happens.. I know how you feel.

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R.C.

answers from Richmond on

When I was pregnant with my boys,many moons ago-they are now 18&15,I was very energetic,never sick,the "glowing"pregnant woman and very happy.14 years later,when I was pregnant with my now 16 month old daughter,I was ill and tired the entire time,still very happy,but extremely tired and ill!!With the boys,I worked until a week before they were born,with my daughter,I went on maternity leave at 5 months,so could it be age(I was 37 w/ daughter versus 19 & 23 w/sons) or different gender of baby,who knows,the end results of ALL my pregnancies were well worth it!!Also,technically,you STILL have a baby that you are running around taking care of now,on top of being preggers,sooooo,I GUESS YOU ARE TIRED,dont worry ,it'll be better in about 5/6 years,unless you have another one,and then you get to deal with attitude!!Just try and rest,when time allows,'cause it's gonna be even more hectic when junior gets here,and let the house,clothes and stuff kinda hang around a little longer-'cause thats definitely a never ending battle,just try an chill and relax.Good Luck R.

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M.P.

answers from Spartanburg on

Hey J.- your slow bowels may be because you are pregnant, not because of your iron. So make sure you find out from your OB-GYN what your iron levels are at. I was taking a pre-natal, 2 SlowFEs (iron tablets) and loads of iron-rich foods- my stomach was killing me from all that iron, but my blood-work indicated that it still wasn't enough.

You mentioned you eat lots of fresh fruit- apples? Apples are supposedly a safe way to boost your energy.

Don't know about your personal situation, but I would look around for a Mom's Morning Out program. They are quite affordable, and can give you the break you need. Aldersgate has a good one.

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