Pregnant with Number Two and Son Is Only 9 Months Old

Updated on January 25, 2007
V.R. asks from Goldsboro, NC
18 answers

Well I just found out that my husband and I are pregnant again and our son is only 9 months old! We are very excited but I'm pretty nervous about having them so close together. My son is now crawling and getting into EVERYTHING and I feel like I don't get any down time. I'm afraid of over exerting myself. I try to relax when he naps but I have so much to do that when he naps I end up trying to get stuff done. I need some advice on time management to get ready for our new little one. Oh and I forgot to mention that my husband is currently overseas and won't be back until May. So I'm by myself during the day and my parent's are here in the evening and help give me a bit of a break.

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So What Happened?

I just wanted to let everyone who has responded know that I truly appreciate all the wonderful ideas and I have begun to take it a little easier and take lots of breaks. I definitely don't want to miss out on my Son growing up just because I'm moving and what not right now. I am going to try and delegate as much as possible so I can get more done without wearing myself out. Thank you all again and I am taking all of the advice into consideration! I truly did not know how common this was to be having two babies so close together! God Bless all of you!!

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M.R.

answers from Tulsa on

I too had my kids 16 months apart. At first, it was a little overwhelming, but now I would not change any of it!! Its great, they are built in playmates! At times its more like having twins. You have to learn to nap when they do, and not worry about the housework!! Learn whats important and what can wait, that was sooooo very tough for me. But like I said I would not change any of it now!

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J.R.

answers from Kansas City on

I had my 2 children 12mos. apart and it's been great! A little stressful at times but all in all it's been wonderful. Having them so close you don't really forget much as far as how they are progressing etc. They are totally entertaining to eachother and just the best buddies they can be. My daughter just turned 2 and my son just turned one and we're hoping to have our third (and last) in the very near future. Sounds like you have a lot of family to help you and that's great. We're lucky enough to have family around to help out as well. Good luck, you'll be fine, I promise!!

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R.K.

answers from Rockford on

My son was 4 months old when we got preg with number 2, so I know how you feel. I now have 3 kids three and under. It's a tough job but I know in the end it will be rewarding. You're not the only one and your definately not alone. Just hang in there :)

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K.T.

answers from Detroit on

I have two little girls who are one year and one day apart. We were suprised by our first pregnancy and very surprised by our second pregnancy when our daughter was only four months old. My husband works a crazy schedule so there were many nights I went it alone and many days too! I can say that it is trying at times but the benefits really come to light the older they get. Your first child is less aware of your tending to the baby...less jealousy and they don't remember a time of having undivided attention so they are great companions. Definately sleep and try to keep them napping close to the same time...works wonders to have a few minutes to yourself everyday!

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J.P.

answers from St. Louis on

Hi V.,

I got pregnant when my son was 8 mos old - I'm still pregnant with #2 and I'm due at the end of April, so they'll be 17 mos apart. So I can definitely say I understand your concerns!! Even though we were trying to get prego when we did, I was still in shock since it happened immediately!

I've gotten to a point where I give myself a lot more leeway now than I used to. I try to do one load of laundry about every other day so it doesn't pile up. Then I fold it after my son's in bed for the night.

As far as cleaning the house, I don't try to do it much during the week. I mostly do it on weekends when my DH is home. I'm so sorry to hear your DH is away right now!!! Maybe your family could make a plan to split up some household chores and help you do them each week.

I did buy a book called "And baby makes four" that is supposed to help you with some of the fears of having a second child (I have plenty! LOL!). I haven't read much of it yet but hopefully it will answer some of my burning questions about what to expect once our daughter is born.

I hope this helped a tiny bit! Feel free to email me any time and good luck!

J.

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A.R.

answers from Springfield on

Congrats on the new little one and Tell your husband I said thank you and appreciate what he is doing for us and our country.

Ok so back to your question, just do the necessary things and let the rest go. I know it's harder than it sounds, I've struggled with it alot! I have 2 active kids, a home business and a house to keep up with. I try to make a list of things I'd like to get done that day and start with the most important or most pressing and go from there. I try to keep things in prespective, it's not going to hurt anything if the dishes aren't done for a day, but I can' get that day back with my kids. So I've come to grips with it and try to do things with my kids and let the everyday things wait. Enjoy your son while he's this age and enjoy your pregnancy. Hope this helps out a little.
A.

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D.F.

answers from St. Louis on

Sounds like what I just went through. It is hard but you need to rest when the baby is sleeping. I have learned that it is okay to slow down. So what if your house gets a little messy, ask your parents to take your baby for a couple of hours so you can get some uninterupted cleaning time. It is a win-win situation, they want to spend time with the g-baby and you want to accomplish some house work. Don't feel guilty, from time to time we all need help. It is hard but you can do it!! After awhile it all becomes routine and you won't be able to imagine things any differently! Good luck!!

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B.S.

answers from Kansas City on

Good luck! You'll be great. It is nice that your parents are close enough to help out in the evenings until your husband is back home (and then even after for occasional date nights!) My 2 kids are 14 months apart, obviously unplanned! I truly don't remember how on earth I managed the first few months after my second child was born b/c my son was barely over a year old at that point. I think I was so tired that my memory is a blur. I definitely must recommend that you take a nap (YES, IN YOUR BED!) when the babies are. And you've got to try to get them on a nap schedule once your newborn is a few months old. Of course newborns don't have a schedule for the first few months, but he/she will eventually! Don't be afraid to ask others for help, don't be afraid to let chores fall behind either. You've got to stay rested to give the most you can to your kids--they won't care if the laundry hasn't been folded or the vacuum needs to be run again. They want mommy to be nice, not tired and grumpy :( A tip for grocery shopping: Price Chopper and Hyvee have the carts with a car on the front. When the newborn is still in a carrier you can set it on the top of the cart and put the older baby in the car part to "drive", then you'll still have room for groceries in the basket of the cart. And if you don't already have one you will definitely need an infant carrier (Snugli). We never used ours with our first son, but with #2 it got plenty of use! It allowed me to "hold" the newborn while having my hands free to corral my son who was always on the go.
Good luck and God Bless. Just be confident that you can do this, when you see your children happy it's all worth it, right?

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K.P.

answers from Joplin on

It has to be very hard with your DH being overseas. The good new is he will be back by the time the new baby is born.
My children are 16 1/2 months a part, which sounds about like the age difference your children will be. My DD was 9 months when I found out I was pg with my DS.
It is great that your parents are helping you out. There is no reason to worry about your pg and taking care of your baby.
Nap when your son naps! You will need your rest. It is hard to get things done that way, but really it is ok. You need to put yourself first.
It is hard and overwhelming having two so close together, I am not going to lie. I have heard it gets easier but I am still waiting for that to happen-LOL.
Actually it is somewhat easier than it was. At least now I can get more done around the house and cook dinner. My 2 yo is now into everything though.
As hard as it is as times, I wouldn't trade them for anything.

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P.B.

answers from Peoria on

V.,
Honey, it's the law that you get some rest when they nap. You said your nine month old is crawling. If you have wide ledges over the doorways, they have this thing called a JOHNNY JUMP UP. iT HANGS AND YOU PUT THEM IN IT AND IT LETS THEM PLAY, JUMP, WALK SOME, AND YOU GET TO DO SOME OF WHAT NEED TO BE DONE. i RAISED ALL MY KIDS ON THAT. walmart HAS THEM FOR UNDER 30$

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G.N.

answers from St. Louis on

Congrats on the new member to your family.

The thing I found works really good with my son when he started crawling I got this playyard it kept him in one room while I got things done. I bought it at babys r us cost is $60.00 then we had to add on get the extension he is more mobile now and hates to be in one room.

Hope that helps

G.

Where in missouri do you live?

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D.T.

answers from Tulsa on

forget getting it all done when he's napping, you nap too.

I subscribed to flylady.net when I found myself in the same situation. It helped during recovery from the miscarriage, and subsequent surgery that caused the miscarriage. With her system you only do a one thing at a time and only for a few minutes at a time so it isn't as exhausting.

I'm warning you that it's a lot of emails every day but if you focus on missions and baby steps, trash testimonials and announcements about visits it will help you. just reading the subject line will keep you going every day. It reminds me to get a jug of water for my desk every morning, get the dirty clothes out of the bedroom floor and exercise as well as the mission of the day.

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A.L.

answers from Tulsa on

I was a stay at home mom when my children were younger. Let me tell you this, enjoy your kids! You don't have to do everything in one day. Take Monday to do JUST laundry. Tuesday to clean the livingroom and bathroom only, and so on and so on...That way you don't feel overwhelmed and you can enjoy your children. If it's naptime, it's ok to take a nap the household chores can wait...you don't have a relationship with your work, you have one with your family....

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J.T.

answers from Killeen on

Wow! I know how you feel. When I got pregnant with my last child, my son was only two months old and we had 3 other children. I had my daughter 5 days after my husband deployed and I was terrified, how was I going to take care of 5 kids by myself, but it wasn't bad. It is going to be tuff at times. I just go with the flow of things, it seems that when I do plan stuff out it never works out that way. It's great that you have family to help you at night. My son and daughter are 10 months and 1 day apart. They play pretty good together, but they also fight alot. Good luck

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M.M.

answers from Wichita on

Babyproof a common room completely, to the point that you would feel comfortable leaving #1 alone there (with a few toys of course!) You can now take cat naps in this room while he plays!!! And to help get things done, use a timer. Set it to 15 minutes and work like a mad woman, and when it goes off, you are done. Good luck, its challenging but so worth it.

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C.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Congrats! I had several babies close together and while it wasn't as easy as when being pregnant with the first one, it was managable. Take a deep breath and don't worry if everything doesn't get done on time....it will all still be there later. Enjoy your son while you are pregnant and remember to still take lots of pics of him and the new baby when he/she gets here. Write down all those special memories as the kids memories tend to run together over time. I will say "I remember when I was pregnant with ...umm....one of the kids, I don't remember which one it was". C.

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C.O.

answers from Rockford on

Congrats on your number 2! I know what it's like to be in your shoes. I was pregnant w/ my 3rd when my 2nd was only 6 months old and my 1st was 3. So I may have some good advice for you. It will continue to be hard and get hardier as your belly grows. My mistake was I didnt rest enough. How could I, I had 2 lil ones and a big ol' belly to boot. Take full advantage of your help when your due month fast approaches. Let the house work slide a little. Save the dishs and laundry for your parents. DO try to sleep at nap times, at least lay down with your feet up. Its not being lazy. Its being smart! I was so exhausted by the time I was to deliver I had to get a cesarean because I couldnt muster up the strength to push. After having 2 all natural births that cesarean was the worst. Please rest all you can, I would change that one little thing if I could go back. And dont worry about them being close in age. Thats a wonderful thing. They will be the best of friends and never be alone.

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A.B.

answers from Kansas City on

You really should nap when he naps; what could possibly be so important that it HAS to be done?! Then visit www.flylady.net for help on making the most of your time awake.

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