Pregnant, Tired, Sick, New Job Help!

Updated on February 24, 2012
J.H. asks from Burlington, VT
4 answers

So I am 19 weeks along with my third, a baby girl :) Four weeks ago I started an intensive training program for a new job. The training lasts for 8 weeks and is a "total immersion" course. Five days/week in the class for 8 hours then 4-5 hours homework each night and at least 10 hours of work on weekends. FT paid employment starts immidiately following the training. The 2nd week of class I was out for two days with a stomach bug. The third week one day because my daughter was too sick for school and no one else could stay with her. This week it's been two days with strep. I had bronchitis when I was interviewing with them. I just told them Monday that I am pregnant and I get the feeling they would rather I just dissappeared at this point. I feel they and my classmates have lost confidence in me and I just don't know what to do. I don't want to be so sick and tired all the time but it just keeps happening! I know plenty of women work through their pregnancy and are fine. What is wrong with me?? Any suggestions and also any ideas about my legal rights if they do try and dump me from the program? Thanks!
P.S. As much as I would love to sleep thru the next 5 months... I desperately need this job for the pay and benefits.

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answers from Tampa on

Well it really sounds like this is a VERY intensive Program for sure. You said in your post that you have missed 5 days (1 week) of the 4 weeks since the class has started. This is huge. I would assume that you have missed a lot of critical information and it is really hard to catch up when the Program is already so demanding. I am sure that the absences were one wants to look bad in a new situation like this. I am sure that your feelings that they just want you to go away are spot on.

However, you sound like you need some assistance to help make it through this Program. Please decide if you are able to make the committment to get through this Program. You sound like you have so much on your plate with being pregnant. I am not sure that I could have kept up that pace while being pregnant and watching 2 other children. If you physically cannot do this while pregnant, then you probably need to put this off. Otherwise, you just have to keep doing the best that you can. Hugs to you.



answers from Philadelphia on

It sounds like this is going to be really tough for you to do alone. I'm not surprised that you are getting sick. It sounds like you are very stressed and very tired. I would guess that you don't have time to cook the most nutritious meals, are you at least keeping up with your prenatal vitamins and drinking lots of water throughout the day? You can also take fruit with you to snack on throughout the day to help keep your energy up. It's amazing what a few grapes every half hour can do!

I think the only way you can get through it is if your husband picks up more slack (I have no idea what he's doing, but clearly you need more). Do you have any family that could come stay for a week or two and help you out? To help get you caught up with laundry, get some healthy meals in the freezer for easy dinners, take the kids off of your hands for a few hours in the evening and get them to bed. It sounds like this program is really intense and you need to do your best to keep up with the material and the homework, but if you aren't getting 8 hours of sleep at night your body is going to fight back (ie-make you sick) so that you are forced to rest. Try your best to be proactive about your health and I think you'll find that you are more efficient at keeping up with the work. Good luck, I'm 33 weeks with my second and work full time, I know how exhausting it can be!



answers from Boston on

It must be rough to start out at a new job like that. I know that I always want to put my best foot forward for the first several months. I feel like first impressions are what get remembered! But then sometimes there is no avoiding health issues. My cousin was at a training across country for a new job (the company shipped all newbies to the same site probably to save on costs) when she was rushed to the ER. It was almost a week before she was stable enough to be transported home. But even then she missed lots of work for treatments. She also started to feel unwanted in the office due to all her missed days and complications.

Ultimately you must do what is best for you and your family. If it was me, I would likely verify that my missed days did not negate the training. If they didn't, I would find help to get through the next 4 weeks. Your health is important and you need to do what you can to preserve it. The training sounds intense, and it really sounds like you need at least a few days to focus only on the training and sleeping. You can offer a favor back after the training when you have more time.

You can show the company how diligent you are by reminding them that this job is so important to you that you are not giving up and will complete the training. Be positive and sound confident. Stop feeling guilty.

Also, unless the training is graded the company would be foolish to dump you. A friend of mine who is a lawyer said that her practice advises companies not to touch pregnant employees. She says the law is on the side of pregnant women and the elderly such that very few loose their case. Unless the company states up front something like "You must attend 37 of the 40 days of training" or "You must maintain a grade of ...." it will probably be hard for them if you pursue legal action. However, it will probably also be hard for you (time, energy, and monetarily), so clearly the best thing would be to make a decision about the program, get help to make it through, and convince the company that you are invested in them.



answers from Redding on

Wow. This is tough.
I had to have training as part of state licensing requirements and it went by the number of hours required. If we missed hours, we had to sign up and pay for another class and start again.
I don't know what your completion requirements are and it's certainly not anything you could have helped, but I wonder if you've missed too much already to even attempt putting yourself through another 4 weeks.

I'm not sure about your legal rights, but if you've missed too much of the training, it seems that they wouldn't have to keep you if you can't complete the training requirements. It's kind of the same thing as having a 90 day probationary period and permanent employment is contingent on completing that process.

I know you really need this job, I just worry if you can take care of yourself the way you need to during this gruelling training. There's nothing wrong with you. Anyone would be run down with that hectic pace while pregnant.
Rest as much as you can this weekend and if you don't have enough help with the kids, find some way to get it.

Take care!

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