Pregnant Super Grouch in Need of Advice to Find the Sunny Side of Life Again

Hi,
I can totally sympathize. I get grouchy for no apparent reason occasionally, and my husband knows to give me a wide berth at these times. For me, there's always a trigger. Usually the grouchiness is just a sign that I haven't taken enough time for myself and I'm feeling like everyone's needs come before my own. Being grouchy is my subconscious' attempt to make me put myself higher on my own to-do list.
When this happens, I ask my husband take over childcare for a while, take a long bath, and try to find something to laugh about. If I have a little bit of fun money, I'll also take myself shopping at a thrift store for a new shirt, or buy something small that I've been wanting for a while but have been putting off.
Good luck warding off the grouch!

That was me too. I didn't have that with the first two pregnancies, but with the third I did. My husband finally told me that nobody in the house liked me. I cried and said I didn't like me either. Hang on for a few more weeks. By the time you get to the second trimester you won't feel so crazy. All of my friends told me that it happens and not much you can do. I couldn't stand my husband and felt so bad, but it didn't last. Just think about the end result and that might help you feel better. Hang in there!

T., i too felt that way with the third child, and i agree it could just be the weather and definitely talk to family, i think the 3rd child took a bigger toll on my body than any other kid, ive talked to other moms they too say the 3rd child was a lot harder, on us moms, however, too remember your mood can affect the child inside as well, so take time to smell the roses, this feeling will also pass, keep your self control, when you can, and know how to apologize to others, hahaha you might need to after you blow up at them, still although moody , we can control what comes out of our mouth, so stay strong, and when you start to feel that little one again jumping inside of you , those feelings will pass, and you will once again enjoy life and the feeling of carrying a little miracle inside of you, !!! D. s

Hi T.-
Try taking an omega 3 fatty acid- important for your brain and heart health and your baby takes all of it from you for it's development.
Some get headaches, others irritable.
It takes 3 years to rebuild stores without supplements- maybe you didn't build up from prev. pregnancies??
We have a great one at http://www.mydietshop.org
Check out herbalifeline.
About me- 47 yo mom of 6yo twin girls- med. prof and wellness coach.
Email me if you'd like to know more.
B. Jarmoluk ____@____.com

To the Super Grouch...I also encountered a lot of anger after my daughter was born. I talked to my doctor about it and she said that I had post-partum depression. I wasn't sad either, no ill feelings toward my childern, nothing of that sort - just angry. She prescribed a very low dose of Zoloft - I felt normal again. It didn't make me happy - just normal. It is nothing to be ashamed about - ALL HORMONAL - you may want to consider this route - you deserve to enjoy your pregnancy. Happy Days!

I'm 8 weeks along with our 5th. While I wouldn't say that I'm super grouchy, I am very tired & nauseous. Remember that your body is doing something very important (there is nothing more important!), so give yourself a break. Explain how you are feeling to your family, & that you don't want to be grouchy or hurt their feelings, but hormones are in control right now. Take good care of yourself, get plenty of rest, pamper yourself. This too will pass.

Don't feel bad, I think it's completely normal. It's all those extra hormones that you're not used to.

I too am recently prego (11 weeks) and have noticed I'm very irritable and ALOT less patient with my family. I've talked it over with my family and explained my mood swings and they have learned over the last few weeks that when I start yelling, they need to cooperate quickly and be patient with me. My hubby has been great catching my moods, now that he's aware of it. So, I'd suggest talking to your family about it. Hopefully, it'll balance out soon. I'm starting to feel a bit less annoyed and the little things, but still haven't gained my patience back.

Congrats and good luck.

Being pregnant sucks for a lot of women. We deserve a medal for taking on the task... 9 months of every cell in our bodies being consumed by someone else's needs! There is probably no one in your house that appreciates what you are going through and 7 weeks is the worst part of it. I have two suggestions:

1. Eat Kale (leafy green vegetable) it will give you energy and a brighter outlook. I know this sounds wierd, but you are craving B vitamins to calm your nerves and the other amazing nutrients in Kale will also benefit the baby. You will feel less nauseous and have more energy.

2. Get the kids to wait on you... Mommy is having a baby and needs their help! They will love bringing you things and taking care of you if you lie back and let them know that you need them. Their little gifts and caring gestures will cheer you up like nothing else can!

Patty had wonderful things to say!!! The only thing I can add to it is, Take fish oils! They really help with mood improvement and they are safe (actually recommended) during pregnancy. Try Nordic Naturals, they don't have a fishy aftertaste.
Also, can you have some time alone to relax? I need that time to read my Bible or a novel, do yoga or pilates (there are great preg DVDs out there), or SLEEP!!!
Last, (I thought this would be short, sorry) give yourself a break. This is all hormones. I concur with Patty to talk with your fam about this. It can be a huge relief.
Blessings on you and Congratulations!
-Anne

Hi T.,

I don't know if I have any advice, but maybe just some sympathy! I'm 24 weeks along, so finally past the tired/nauseous/grumpy stage, but I'm sure my husband can recall all too well what I was like in the beginning. I was terrible to him!

Anyway, just take it very easy on yourself, know that it will pass, and remember what an amazing blessing you are carrying inside you. You deserve to be pampered right now!

I suffered from the exact same symptoms with my third pregnancy and so did a friend of mine. We suffered that throughout our whole pregnancy. We also both had two other children under the age of 5 including an infant.Unfortunately neither of us discussed it until after our babies were born and the edginess got worse. If you go online you can take a depression/anxiety test if you score greater than eight you are suffering from from depression/anxiety. I am a nurse and definately didn't want to say I had depression or anxiety however I wish I would not have been so stubborn. I also never felt sad or hopeless. Anxiety, edginess and depression are one in the same. It is an imbalance of serotonin/transmitters in your brain. I tried praying through it embarrased to be on antidepressants and what a bad decision that was. If I had diabetes or a heart condition.. would I treat it?? Talk to your ob and see what they think. If mom isn't healthy no one can be.

Any feelings that this could be a girl? I had alot of issues with anger when I was pregnant with my daughter. I guess I don't know if it was hormones or what, but I was not like that when I was pregnant with my boys. Or maybe it is just b/c you have two kids already and are tired etc. Take a day to yourself or a weekend if you can afford it and do some pampering, try to be away from the kids and husband, you will appreciate them alot more when you come back.
Good Luck
K.

I'm currently 6 1/2 weeks pregnant with my second and I'm right there with ya!! My nausea isn't making my crabbiness any better either. I too just want to be left alone. Someone makes a simple comment and I bite their head off :) I just keep trying to remind myself that it's hormones and not me. I always take a deep breath before I respond to anyone, and if I can't say something nice I simply try to put on a fake smile. If I do end up yelling at someone or getting angry I quickly appologize and say I haven't been feeling well lately :) As far as getting out of the crabbiness, I've come to the conclusion that just sucking it up and dealing with it is working. As I said, I just remind myself that it's hormones and put on a fake smile.

I would guess you need some food when you are grouchy. Pregnancy changes your metabolism and you are a super furnace for burning food into energy. If your fire gets too hot, you will get super grouchy. Put out the fire with some sweet fruit or grains or milk. I found during my subsequent pregnancies the hunger and growth happened more quickly than in the earlier ones.

I am also in the 7th week of my third pregnancy. My husband and I were just talking about how moody I've been this time around. He's been trying to help my mood as much as he can since he knows what buttons not to push. He's been taking our sons out on the weekends to give me alone time and letting me nap when I want to and doing more chores around the house for me. Good luck!

My response to you is ask if you are getting enough rest. If you think back on your first two, you may remember how tired you were all the time in your first trimester. You could rest more then, maybe even nap!

Maybe you're just, good ol' tired. Nothing makes someone grouchy faster than that (just check out your toddler).

I always find sunshine at the end of a good NAP! =) You didn't mention the ages of your other children, but if you can take a snooze when they go down, do it! If you can get a friend to watch them for a couple hours, do it! If you can get your hubby to assume all child-related duties when he gets home so you can go to bed early, do it!
It won't solve all of your problems but it sure does help.

I just had my second child five months ago, and your story is all too familiar! I certainly felt this way, and I too could not control any of it. It was almost like someone or something else had control of my mouth!! I said terrible things and was angry all the time. It did get better, as the pregnancy went on. Mostly though, I just tried not to say too much, because it was SO hard for me to choose the right words. My best advice, or what seemed to work for me, is to try to be polite... but MAKE SURE you take some time for yourself every day!! A little bit of alone time, thinking about the days events and just taking some deep breaths helped. Because honestly, I don't know if there was a better way. It sounds corny, but the deep breathing can help... Just remember that you are doing the best you can, pregnancy as you know brings alot of hormones - and they can be powerful!! When your pregnancy is over you will be "normal" again!! And your family and friends will likely understand if you explain yourself after all they all love you!!

You may be suffering from depression. Due to the known/unknown dangers of taking antidepressants I would highly recommend more natural means of elevating your mood for the baby's sake. (If you're leaning towards herbal remedies, talk to an herbologist or a naturopath first to make sure the herbs won't have any negative side-effects on your pregnancy/baby.)

LET THE LIGHT SHINE IN! Get up early and open the drapes/shades, etc. Sunlight has been proven to help boost your body's production of serotonin thereby decreasing the feelings of depression, anxiety, and anger.

EAT UP... YUM! Serotonin is also found in fresh foods such as walnuts, pineapple, bananas, kiwi, plums, and tomatos.

FRESH AIR, BREATH IT IN! Get out and get some fresh air in the sun. Moderate activity such as walking, biking, or swimming will help boost your body's production of endorphins which produce that much needed feeling of "well-being".

Avoid closing yourself in as you may risk decreasing your production of these vital chemicals which will make the problem worse. Even if you can't be around other people you can get out and read a book in the park, sit beside the pool, or bask in front of a large sunny window.

It sounds like you are exhausted and overwhelmed. Make sure you are getting the physical (housework) and emotional (empathy etc) support you need from your husband, and make extra time for sleep. Most of all, don't ride yourself too hard about it--claim personal time that is nurturing to you and you'll feel better!

I bet part of those grouchy feelings are also cabin fever and that once the sun and warmth came back into our lives, you will find the sunny side of life again. Some things that might help is to get outside a bit more often, if its not too cold where you are. Open a window to air out the house. And never forget that all pregnanies are different, and hormones affect us in so many ways and feelings that it should be made illegal! ;) When I was pregnant with my second baby, my son, who was 4 at the time, asked me nicely if he and dad should move into a motel for a while (so if yours arent asking you that, then your doing pretty good!! ;)) This last pregnancy I went thru (he was born on 2-20), I felt moody too, but as soon as he was born, those feelings were replaced by the great ones. Good Luck and Congrats!

Pregnant massage! Do something nice for your lovely self :)

Start walking T.! Take a walk around the block, at the park or if you live in a winter state walk at the gym on the treadmill or on the indoor walking track. You may not feel any effect for a couple days or a week but before you know it, you'll be looking forward to walking and you'll have all that alone time to solve all the problems in the world while you walk so when you get home, you'll feel stressfree, calmer and happy that you did something just for you!

Good luck -- not only is walking great for your mind and attitude, it will be super exercise to keep your body healthy and toned while pregnant.

Blessings Always,
D. (Sturgis, SD)

Irritability IS a sign of depression. Even if you are not feeling depressed, anti-depressants might help (I was on 2 different ones during my pregnancy).

Also, as you already know, your disposition will probably change once you hit the second trimester, and again once you hit the 3rd. If you absolutely don't want to try medication, then maybe you could wait it out until the second trimester to see what happens when your hormones do their shifting.

The only other suggestion I can make is to examine what you are eating. If you are binging on salt, sugar, chocolate, fatty foods, and other junk, your body will respond with sluggishness and irritability. get plenty of water, fresh fruits and fresh or frozen veges and also make sure you are eating ENOUGH throughout the day. Forgetting to eat at regular intervals can crash your blood sugar and cause irritability too.

I have no idea if I've come anywhere close to any helpful solutions, but I send you my sympathy/empathy and lots of {{HUGS}}!

Congratulations, by the way :)

T.,

I can relate to your feelings of grouchiness. I felt the same way when I was pregnant with my daughter. The bottom line, in my opinion, is that hormones are to thank for your inability to see the sunny side of things right now. I'd check with your OB and see if there is anything he/she can recommend such as a diet change or something like that to help with your mood. Also, I'd just try to explain to people as best you can that you know you're being hard to deal with right now and that even though you know, it's something you're having a hard time controlling. It won't excuse the behavior and you'll still have to make your apologies, but at least they'll have a better understanding of where you're coming from. Hopefully this is just a symptom of pregnancy that will quickly fade out. I wish you the best of luck - and don't feel too h*** o* yourself - pregnancy changes everything, and since this is your third, you know that. Good luck!

I am currently 25 weeks pregnant and I felt the same way since the beginning of my pregnancy. Just overall yucky feeling. A lot of mine was depression. I would mention it to your OB/GYN or midwife. I found just talking about the issue helped me a lot. I was keeping it all bottled up because it was embarassing for me to be so depressed. Once I said something to my husband and doctor, I felt better. They recommended talking to someone professionally. It may not be depression and it may be. Irritability can be a sign of depression. I would just recommend talking to someone about it. Good luck. If you want to contact me, I'd be glad to talk about it!

I am 7 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and feel the same way!!! LOL...It's normal and hormones at work, but I am also having troubles dealing with it. I feel especially bad for my other 2 kids and husband. My morning sickness right now is really really bad so that is not helping my situation either. If you find something that ends up working for you let me know. I'm in the same boat. Smile and tell yourself you are not alone.

I went through this with my second pregnancy. I was also VERY tired. I realized that I was simply constipated. I'd gone quite suddenly from about 3-4 BMs a day to one every other day or so. I got myself on a good herbal Lower Bowel formula (I used Dr. Christopher's) and started drinking a lot more fluids and was soon back to normal. This also might be a hormonal thing for you. As an herbalist, I turn to herbal formulas and teas a lot. If it were me and the BM thing didn't apply, I'd try a good hormonal balancing herbal formula. Some are VERY safe and good for use during pregnancy. Good luck.

G.

What a wonderful thing hormones can be. As hard as it is, when you find yourself being rude, don't forget to at least apologize when you know you are mistreating others. Remember the reason why you are grounchy and warn others when you are grumpy. MAybe they can help.

Try to find ways to pamper yourself. Arrange an outing for the boys to get them out for awhile and you'll be able to relax and so will they. Invite a good friend over. Someone who is upbeat like your usual self. Don't talk to those people who are always complaining. Stay positive. Buy something yummy (and safe for baby). Seven weeks! Congratulations, you have a ways to go as you are fully aware, but start now and try to do something for yourself and a special thing for the boys now and then throughout the rest of your pregnancy. Ask them nicely to pitch in and help with a little more of the work around the house. Guys do want to help, they just don't know what it is you want. You really do have to spell it out for them. Even a small list each day or week of things you'd like their help with will give them some direction and you won't have to badger them or feel they are deserting you. Just say " have you checked the list"? That keeps the bad feelings to a minimum. ( "Go ask your father" is also a great line :)
God Bless you and your family, 9 and 5 year old boys still like to color Easter eggs! Get Dad to help. Have fun!

B.

I think you just need to give yourself a break. I was pregnant 3 times and with each one it was different. The first one, I was over sensitive-everything hurt my feelings. With the second one, I was so happy it was just plain sick. You couldn't get me mad if you tried. With the 3rd one, I was crabby and sick all the time. Did I feel bad-yes. But there was nothing I could do about it. It was just part of being pregnant. I had no reason to be crabby either, it was probably all hormonal. So just explain it to your family that you love them, just mommy is crabby and can't control it-and for them to please understand that it will pass. And on your good days-try to make it up to them. : O )

Hi T.,

I am sorry that you are having a hard time during your pregnancy. It must be very difficult for you and your family as well as your friends. You didn't mention anything about your other pregnancies. Is this the first time that you are feeling this way? Did you stop to think about all the changes in your hormones right now? Sounds like you need some balance. You might spend some time researching this issue. There is alot of information on the web. One resource that you might check out is Christiane Northrup. She is an MD and a guru regarding womens health issues. Also uses alternatives. You can google her name a get to her web site. She has a ton of info.
Also, it sounds like you are in need for some really good and pure nutrition that is absorbed into your cells immediately. I know a young woman, during her second pregnancy, she took her nutitional products, that she had been taking, with her to her ob/gyn and showed them to her and she was told to continue taking them and that they were excellent. They were in the proper balance that she needed. She did great on the products and her second baby was way more content than the first one and it is believed to be because of the nutrition that Mom got and is continuing on. She is also doing awesome with nursing her little girl. If you are taking a prenatal and I am assuming that it is a table or even a capsule, you may not be getting or absorbing the nutrients that you are requiring right now. You also need to be on a really good and pure omega oil for you and also for babies brain development. Studies are showing that these babies are advanced in their learning abilities. I will give you contact information on the Dr Organics products so that you can check them out, these are the same ones that the mom was taking, it's www.drorganics.com/7440740. Please check it out, you won't be sorry because 9 monthes is a long time to have to struggle with this issue. These products have been formulated by the top formulator in the country and are totally organic and taste great, too.
I sense the desperation that you are feeling. You really have to get yourself on the right track so that you will be able to get this under control, because every emotion that you are feeling, that precious child that you are carrying, feels also.
I also know several people personally that are taking these products that have had many issues with mood swings and they have had excellent results.
Because I have a heart to help people, I am going to add you on to my prayer list and pray that God will help you resolve this issue very soon.

Blessings to you and your family,
Lisa B

T.,

It could be your hormones acting crazy, but let's face it, I think everyone is a bit crabbier this spring. Spring...where?

Not only has it been a long winter this year, but it has been extremely cloudy--since early October. This coming weekend (if it truely does warm up with a bit of sun) get outside and soak it all in. Take the kids for a walk. Plan ahead for sloppy sidewalks; lets the kids splash and giggle as they walk. When ever I hear a child giggle, you can't help but smile yourself.

When you get home (wet and chilly), make some hot chocolate, pop in a movie, and all bundle under a blanket on the couch. Make it a silly movie (home movies work good), so the giggles can continue.
The giggles, the sun and warmth, the fresh air will give you a "pick-me-up" to pull you through a tough time. A day full of laughter can do wonders for the tough times.

Good Luck,
S.

I'm sure not a doctor and I don't expect you to expect that I am, but this is how I learned that I was alergic to diet pop. Anything with sacarrin or nutrasweet. Yeah I probably spelled tham wrong. I was to the point hat when someone cam in and said 'Goodmorning.' I snapped and told them to 'shut up'. Usually I hate 'shutup.'Won't let anyone in the household say it either. So the next time I went to see the doc I asked him. Through questions the only new thing in my life was that I had switched to diet pop. Doc suggested I quit the diet and see how went. Yep, I got over the grouchies. He also said that if I was dieting the last thing I should do is drink diet pop. It will increase your appetite and for a child will slow their learning processes. When Splenda came out I tried it and have had no problems.

T.,

I can completely relate to the moodyness. I am now in my 8th month and looking forward to delivering soon. Everyone has had great advice as to giving yourself a break. If you are like me, I felt like the weight of everything was on me. I got flustered easily and would snap with no warning. I had this problem with both of my pregnancies and the one thing I did end up doing was recognizing that I could not deal with everything alone. I consulted my dr and was put on a low dose of antidepressant. I wanted to be able to enjoy being pregant and they helped me with that. Good Luck!!

Hello T.,
There is a lot to think about in today's society. We are very busy people stressing ourselves out. Something is bother you. And you need to figure out what is that is before someone gets hurt.
Does the weather affect you? I ask this because I want spring to come fast because my family is getting cabin fever.
Plus, your hormones are affected right now from being pregnant. That is something to think about too. Do you drink soda or caffeine? If you do, try to limit that.

Here is an article to read that I just came across. It is from an author that wrote, “Happy for No Reason: 7 Steps to Being Happier Right Now”. Sounds like a good book to read. I think I might get that too. Good luck and happy reading!
http://community.gaiam.com/gaiam/p/3-Steps-to-Being-Happy...
Wishing you some sunshine! P.

Depression doesn't necessarily mean sadness. Mine actually manifests in exactly the way you are describing. There is nothing wrong with seeking treatment. This is probably just the change in hormones and will pass. Hopefully you can find someone to talk to in the meantime to get your frustrations out so you aren't taking them out on your family and friends. I'd be happy to listen to you vent if you'd like :-). Good luck.

T.,

Sounds like a surge of hormones. Get plenty of fresh air, eat fresh fruits and vegetables and walk. You can also do some meditation and deep breathing. Right now make sure you have "me" time.

L. :)

((((HUGS)))) Just hang in there. Let everyone know that you don't mean to be crabby and that you're trying not to. Lots of saying I'm sorry and hugs for the kids and hubby might help too :o)
Best Wishes,
J.
Mom to 4 and soon one more through another adoption.