Pregnant - Feel a Bit Guilty

Updated on December 10, 2008
M.N. asks from Chicago, IL
10 answers

hi - i just found out i am pregnant - not planning it but totally delighted & excited about it. My 2nd child. Anyway my sister announced two weeks ago she was pregnant - i feel now i am stealing her thunder a bit . Although i won't annonce it for a few weks yet i feel she'll be a bit pissed - any advice ...

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So What Happened?

thank you for all your kind words - I will tell her in 5 or 6 weeks

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

it's sweet of you to think of her, but I don't think she will be upset. I would love to be pregnant with my sister. I am pregnant right now and so is my best friend, and it's great having someone go through it with you. I agree to wait a few weeks though...if you can! congrats!

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations! Don't feel guilty. Since you are excited, enjoy. It isn't like you can control everything and you didn't do it to steal her thunder. If anything, just think how close the kids can be. Maybe your sister will be excited as well.

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A.L.

answers from Chicago on

The fact that you thought of this means a lot. I have been in your sisters shoes and to be honest I did feel a little jealous that i didn't have my time to be pregnant by myself. On the other hand depending on your relationship with your sister this could be a really nice bonding moment for you to share your experience together.

If you can wait a couple of weeks to give her time to have her spotlight. Then make sure to tell your sister first before anyone else. When you make the announcement to her just make it all about her and how you want to share it the experience with her.

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J.C.

answers from Rockford on

Dont feel guilty! Its not like you set out to steal her moment, it just happened. Hopefully she will take it well because it will be awesome to be pregnant together. It will be so much fun through the years for the two cousins to be close in age, trust me, I know from experience. It is really a great and fun thing. Try to convince her of that if she gets upset. She may be uspet at first, but then warm up to it. It really is a blessing for your family.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

If she does get mad, then she's very immature and probably shouldn't be having kids in the first place. I hope she realizes that pregnancy is not always planned and this is your second child so it isn't like you will be competing for shower gifts.

Don't fret, you didn't do anything wrong and have absolutely no reason to feel guilty. Enjoy.

I almost had a similiar situation with a sister-in-law but after talking about it innocently that there are five women in the family having kids all in the same time period, it would be virtually impossible not to be pregnant at the same time as someone else. My last pregnancy I was pregnant with two other females in our family. We had our kids all within four months of eachother.

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S.E.

answers from Chicago on

My SIL got pregnant immediately after I did, our girls are 11 days apart. When I found out I was pregnant I kinda hoped that someone else would be pregnant with me. It was nice to have someone to share symptoms with. What's really nice is our girls will have each other to play with at family functions. I think your sister will find happiness in your situation. Maybe you should tell her in private before announcing and tell her what you aren't trying to steal her thunder.
Good luck.

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N.W.

answers from Chicago on

It sounds like you're waiting a month after she announced so I don't think you're stealing her thunder at all. Just tell her first and gush on about how your kids will be so close in age etc. If you make it a sisterly bonding thing then she'll be happy for you too!

Congratulations!

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S.K.

answers from Chicago on

I really hope she does not get mad, I think being pregnant with someone is wonderful, but maybe that is because I don't know it any other way. My first I shared with my two older sisters, our babies were born within 7 months of each other and all boys. My second I shared with one sister, born 5 months apart, both girls. My third I shared with my older and younger sister, and the other sister was waiting on an adoption, all 4 babies this last time have birthdays within 7 WEEKS of each other. I love how many cousins they have to play with the same age, and most of all they love it too. Holidays are crazy but a blast, we have 11 kids age 9 and under, 4 of which are 18 months old. We love it, and I hope your sister will be able to appreciate the benefits of going through this exciting journey with a sister.

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T.S.

answers from Chicago on

So sweet that you thought of her in that way. Really, it is.

I shared my first pregnancy with two friends. It was great to have someone to talk about everything with.

With my second pregnancy, I wanted it to MYSELF! Lol. I know it may sound silly. In truth, the only person I would have wanted to be pregnant with was my sister. It wasn't her time, but I would have LOVED to share it with her. And to have the cousins be that close in age - perfect.

I agree with the other poster. I would tell her before you tell anyone else. I would even tell her that you feel a little guilty, I'm sure she will be happy to share it with you, though.

Congrats to you both!!

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E.F.

answers from Chicago on

You are too sweet. If she is pissed about your joyful news it is absolutely ridculous. That is her issue. I think because you are considering her feelings you will in no way 'steal her thunder'. Be excited and use the angle of being pregnant together will be such an awesome experience.

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