Pregnant at 45! - Tujunga,CA

Updated on March 07, 2013
T.F. asks from Tujunga, CA
20 answers

Hello mama's, I am currently 8 wks pregnant with baby #5!! This was a total shock to me! I have 4 kids already ranging in age from 6 to 25! I guess I really thought we were DONE!!! I just don't seem to feel as "happy" with this pregnancy as I did with the others. For one thing, I feel dreadfully sick all the time! Extreme fatigue and nausea and just an overall lousy feeling. Are there any "older" moms out there who are going through what I am or have gone through it already and eventually felt better? I would really love to hear from you and your experiences. I have a great husband who is very happy about this baby and supports me, but he really can't sympathize with what I'm feeling! I guess I just want to hear that things will improve and my mood will pick up!! Please only post positive things! Really don't want to hear anything negative right now!! Thanks mama's!!

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Congratulations!!!! Hang on a few more weeks and things will improve. Sounds like you have a great family! What a lucky baby.

2 moms found this helpful
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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Hit CVS for ginger gum. I used it for sea sickness and found out about it through a mom site re. nausea questions. HUGS!

1 mom found this helpful

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M.J.

answers from Sacramento on

I haven't had the same experience, but wanted to say how fortunate you are to have older children. You'll be able to focus a lot more attention on this baby than you would if they were younger and more demanding. You'll also have some built-in support, too, because they're old enough to help with a baby.

I know some women love pregnancy, but I was never that way. Parts of it were great, but most of the time I didn't feel very good or look very good. You're not alone in just feeling lousy.

It's totally understandable that you're not happy yet, because this was a big shocker for you. You're still so early on, so give yourself some time to adjust and don't beat yourself up over it. :)

4 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My friend was pregnant at 46. Planned.
It was her 2nd child.
She had a normal pregnancy and her son was born just fine and healthy.

I had my 2nd child in my 40's.
Eeek, right?
It was planned. Got pregnant naturally.
It was a normal pregnancy and my son was born fine.
But with both my kids, I had the Amniocentesis.
My choice.

AND with both pregnancies, I had BAD morning sickness AND migraines. I did try to wait it out, but I had this for months. Not just the 1st trimester.
So, per my OB/GYN's suggestion, I got acupuncture. Just one half hour session, and it was gone! It was very relaxing.

One thing good about this for you is: your Husband, is happy about it and supports you.
Of course men cannot intrinsically understand, what it feels like.
So, just have him, help you and pamper you.

4 moms found this helpful
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*.*.

answers from Philadelphia on

Aww congrats! A family friend of mine unexpectedly got pregnant at 45, too. Her nausea and fatigue got better after the first trimester, but the general achiness stayed with her the whole time, unfortunately. She never reached that happy feeling she had with her others either, until the birth. That's ok. You will be happy in the end, as you know. That's all that matters. Its good that you have great support, even if he can't quite understand what you're going through. I'm sure you'll find lots of women here that do understand and can help.
I don't have any advice for you, but wanted to let you know my thoughts are with you. Here's to hoping you feel better soon!

4 moms found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Houston on

A friend of mine works for an AMA (advanced maternal age) ob/gyn and she says the most common minor health problem for AMA pregnancies are Vit D and calcium deficiencies. So, drink up on the milk and take extra Vit D tablets bc you know those babies literally can suck your bones dry!

Congratulations!

3 moms found this helpful
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K.L.

answers from Dallas on

Congratulations!
I was miserable during my second pregnancy before my aunt sent me a wonderful gift... Quease Ease.
http://soothing-scents.com/index.php/morning-sickness/

2 moms found this helpful
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C.C.

answers from Orlando on

I was pregnant w/ baby #2 at age 43 after trying for 5 years. I was told it probably wouldn't happen(early menopause) and decided to be happy with our one son. I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was 22 weeks along! It was quite a shock, and I wasn't sure how to feel after finding out. I was scared for my unborn baby(was he healthy?) and scared for me(can I do this?) I was past the point of safely doing amnio, but because I was of "advanced maternal age" I had to go see a specialist in addition to my regular OB appointments. The specialist is a perinatologist and he had the cool 4D ultrasound to make sure there was no abnormalities. There were none that they could see and I got to see my baby in 4D once a month. My only complication was gestational diabetes which I controlled with diet and the specialist kept an eye on that for me as well. My son was born healthy and just turned 2. I think I have just now finally adjusted to having another little one. Don't like being the oldest Mommy at the park or play groups, but oh, well! My almost 10 year old son is a HUGE help! And is a great big brother. My pregnancy was uneventful(and short since I found out late in the game), so I can't sympathize with the morning sickness. But everything works out and you can do this!
Good Luck!

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Awwww...congrats!
I was 39 when I delivered and (sorry) but I just had the greatest pregnancy.
Not sick ( a little in the beginning), lots of energy, no health issues.
Although I'd bet you're gonna hear the term "advanced maternal age" at least once from your OB--mine learned pretty quick that once was enough! Lol
Hang in there. Try to eat well and rest when you can!

2 moms found this helpful

A.J.

answers from Williamsport on

Well, All I can say is, it WILL be over and you'll be completely yourself again in about a year and 1/2-maybe sooner. Yes, pregnancy at this age will be hard, but thankfully you have support. I'm 42-had my youngest at 39...and I don't feel any different now than I did then...so, I could spit one more out if it came down to it :)

My dad's mom was 43 (67 years ago!) when she had him-and he was her 5th WAY behind the others-who were all girls. According to a great aunt, she was NOT happy to be pregnant and she was in an abusive relationship etc. Fast forward a few years and he was the best loved baby of the family. His dad passed away and he became "man of the house" at twelve. He was a great kid and went on to Harvard Law School on full scholarship and took better care of his mom than all her other kids! To his sisters he was the anchor of the family. He's now the retired Director of International Law for the Pentagon and he has been a great dad to me.

Try to shrug off the physical discomfort and financial surprise as much as possible and focus on staying sane in the moment, sorry for the discomfort, hang in there! In the end you know this precious new loved one outweighs the cons :) Congrats! I'm sad I didn't start younger and have more than three.....

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K.B.

answers from Philadelphia on

I have 5 kids. Our oldest is turning 26, married with a little girl. Next is 17. Then we have 8 year old triplets. I was 39 when I got pregnant last. We were hoping for a girl after 2 boys. Then we got slammed with triplets! We had 2 boys and a girl. So we have 4 boys and 1 girl, 4 kids at home. I'm 47. My triplet pregnancy was a living hell! It was great but I never felt so ill in my life. I couldn't even brush my teeth during the pregnancy. I lost weight the entire time. Could only shower once a week when I had to go to the doctor 2 hours away. 3 extra hormones were rough! Of course afterward I was in love with my babies, even with all the extra work.

In the end, of course you're not happy! You're 45 having a 5th baby you weren't planning on! It has nothing to do with your love for this baby. It has to do with feeling miserable and all the emotional stuff that comes along with it. When I was 8 weeks I felt so bad I was crying and told my husband I was done, no more! LOL You're older and you may feel worse than your earlier pregnancies. Or you may start feeling better and have the best pregnancy ever. Every pregnancy is different. Just drink plenty of water! Walk when you can and only as your body feels like it can handle it. A big MUST... ALL family members MUST pitch in with the house and chores. There's not one child in the house who is not able to help out, including the 6 year old. Make out chore lists for each member of the family including Mom and Dad to make life easier for all. There's no asking, there's telling everyone "this is what is going to happen". And you keep the chore lists going even after the baby is born because you will be sleep deprived for a while and everyone needs to pitch in as a team to make the house run! Congrats and good luck!

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I just had my third, and I'll be 41 in a few months. This was my easiest pregnancy.

I always feel miserable during the first trimester. Take care of yourself. A daily nap is a must! Do take out food, do whatever you can to make life easy, ,and just hang in there, in a few months, you will feel so much better.

2 moms found this helpful

L.F.

answers from Dallas on

congratulations! I had my two girls late-- 38 and 39. I was extremely sick during both pregnancies (just look at some of my mamapedia questions!) I started feeling better around week 17 or 18 with both pregnancies. It was rough-- I didn't really enjoy pregnancy but as you know the gift at the end is amazing! I think it will definitly keep you feeling young and alive. Hang in there.

1 mom found this helpful

I.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

Zophran
one day at a time
Remind yourself, "this is the last day I'll ever be 8 weeks and 4 days pregnant"

also, I just had a scare with my current pregnancy. We thought we were loosing the baby. When my ultrasound revealed a thriving baby, I left the hospital with a new perspective. I had been very fearful of having a third, and also resenting the pregnancy for causing nausea and malaise. In light of almost loosing it, I had a new perspective on resenting it.

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M.S.

answers from Portland on

Congrats!!! You just haven't reached the happy part yet. For me, it came when I found out, but then I threw it up for 10 months both times, so I was happy about my pregnancies after about 6 months when the horrible colic was over. Now I love my babies! I mean I loved them then, but I wasn't happy about them until later, so don't worry about it, it will come.

The nausea is terrible to deal with I know. The best things for me were Seabands, these bracelets are acupressure based and push on the side of your wrist. It does help. I saw neater ones on The Shark last week, but they didnt' go for it. I would look at those though because they are adjustable. Also, ginger is wonderful. Cut it into pill size shapes and either just swallow them, or put them in an empty gel cap and take it like a pill. Don't chew it because it will make you sick. None of the ginger candy, etc, worked, just the real ginger. The other thing that helps is Zofran from the doctor. Compazine made me suicidal, but it helps with nausea. Promethazine worked pretty ok, but gave me severe restless legs. Ginger and Zofran. Oh, and acupuncture can help too. It didn't for me, but a lot of people have great success.

Good luck with feeling better, it will be easier as you go along. Congrats on the happy occasion and a new baby. And your hubby doesn't understand because he hasn't been there, but maybe let him hold your hair as you throw up, it will help him to sympathize with you. And, I know its hard because he doesn't know what you are going through, but it could be worse: Dads can get morning sickness too, and then it is really hard to have 2 sickies in the same house.

Remember, this too shall pass! Like in 8 months or so.

1 mom found this helpful

L.W.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations!!!!

Try sea-bands. I would put them on before I even got out of bed, and they were the last thing I took off before going to bed. You can buy then at your local pharmacy. I am due in 4 weeks and I will be 38 (my b-day is the 17th) when I deliver. I cannot believe how exhausted I have been though.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Darn girl, that's impressive! Congrats!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.K.

answers from Houston on

Ya know, ummm, the morning sickness is a lot worse when you are carrying multiples...

Been there... :)

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Congrats! I had my first and only at 41. I was queasy and tired during most of the first trimester, took a lot of naps and avoided even thinking about vegetables or chicken. I lived off of yogurt & fruit, lime fizzy water, cheese pizza, and Doritos (weird, I know). At week 12 that disappeared pretty much over night and the rest of my pregnancy was awesome. I was going running 3 - 5 miles at a time into my 7th month. Then I suddenly got "big" and switched to walking. The last couple of weeks, I spent sitting or lying down, mostly.

I did have the amnio (my only contact with a doctor during my pregnancy). Even with my "advanced maternal age" I only saw midwives. I had a natural delivery and a healthy daughter (10 now).

As my doctor is now telling me, at 51, until you've not had a period for 12 straight months, you still can get pregnant. My mom had periods until 58 (Eek!)

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M.N.

answers from Los Angeles on

I was mortified to learn I was pregnant at almost 40 with my 4th child. I couldn't even tell people until I was showing - I simply burst into tears. Those close to me said things like - you'll be better when you see the first ultrasound (nope); you'll be better when you hear the first heart beat (nope). I was dreading it and depressed UNTIL - I started to feel the baby move. Then somehow everything changed. This baby is now 4 months old and absolutely the most precious addition to my life (not to mention the easiest baby ever). I can't imagine our family without him.

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