Pregnant After Miscarriage...

Updated on December 29, 2010
H.M. asks from Pontiac, MI
14 answers

Okay so my husband and I experianced a miscarriage of our thrid baby at only three weeks this past summer. We had two perfectly healthy pregnancys with our first two children. Well I am pregnant again now and we are so thankful. I will be five weeks tomorrow and go to the doctor in a couple days. When we had the misscarriage the pregnancy would not even show up on a pregnancy test because my hcg levels were so low. And I had heavy bleeding for over a weeks before. I knew something was wrong. This time around I had five positive home pregnancy tests (yes 5!) and a blood test. I also had my blood drawn again a few days later and the doctor called back to tell me my levels looked perfect. I have experianced no bleeding either...but yet I am terriefied something is going to happen to this baby! I have had some slight nausea, but I am getting all worried that I am not having horrible morning sickness, even though I didn't get sick with either of our two children until atleast after six weeks. I have no symptoms of misscarriage at all, but yet I am scared when I go to the doctor they are going to tell me I'm not pregnant anymore. I guess all I need is some support that you can have a healthy pregnancy after a misscarriage. Please nothing negative! Thank you! Oh yes and did I mention I check my underwear almost every hour to make sure I am not bleeding. :(

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answers from Johnstown on

You're fine! I didn't have any morning sickness at all with my older daughter and only minimal with my twins. The fact that you've had 2 healthy pregnancies before tells me you're capable of doing it again. There are several factors that weigh into a loss, and the most likely of them is improper implantation or a genetic defect. Congratulations! Keep us posted :) I'll be praying for you!

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answers from Portland on

Because I don't know you personally, and what works for your personality, I'm going to share what I experienced in a similar situation, and some ideas for enjoying this pregnancy.

I myself had a history of miscarriage; two with the exhusband, and one right before my husband and I became pregnant with our son. In fact, I discovered I was pregnant about 5-6 weeks after that last miscarriage. Shocker!

With my history, it would have been easy to white-knuckle my pregnancy with my son. Early on, I made a concious decision: being stressed and nervous hadn't helped, nor prevented what was inevitable, so I was going to enjoy this pregnancy, for however long it lasted. Part of this decision was also based on the fact that I'd heard all the horror stories, and knew there were no guarantees for perfect outcomes, no matter which week the child had grown to.

There are reassuring statistics, of course, but ultimately, even after our children are born, we still run a risk of loss that is intrinsically entwined with their being alive. This shouldn't stop us from enjoying our children, and this hopefully won't keep you from enjoying your pregnancy.

Some things that helped: to experience the sad feelings of previous losses as they came up, and to let them go. To focus on beautiful things in the world, to close my eyes with that image and "send" it to my baby. To let go of expectations about what I "should" have been feeling in the way of bonding with my developing child, and to just live and know that the 'right' feelings would come when they did.

In short, to give myself a break for not being perfect, to put the baggage in its proper context (the past, not the future) and to just be.

Some people find letting-go rituals remarkably helpful. Usually this involves either writing or drawing about our fears, our thoughts, feelings-- the spiritual burdens (worries) that we want to let go of, or the hopes we have-- and then, to transform or release those thoughts through either burning the paper we've put them on, or folding it up into a paper boat and release it on the water, watching it sail away.

After the miscarriage of my second little one, my ex-husband and I went to a hidden creek in a forested park and blew bubbles to float down the water, over little sticks and rocks. This was how we released the hope of that child, knowing it wasn't to be. It was a sweet moment.

Of course, these rituals are for the living, so that we can keep going even when we face these horrible times and to give some meaning and context for these tremendously sad and challenging moments.

I hope that, in the next few days, you find space in your heart and mind to enjoy the positive moments and to move past that challenging space of renewed --but unguaranteed-- possibility. And I hope this wasn't too "woo woo"-- I'm not a 'woo woo' person, by any means, but there's no healing the spiritual anxiety and wounds without addressing them spiritually. If you have another practice in your faith (prayer, meditiation...either of these can be incorporated in what I suggested before) that centers and renews you, focusing on that too can be very helpful. And even if you aren't a person of faith, the tactile actions of burning/releasing those anxieties can still help.

Best wishes,

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answers from Pittsburgh on

What you're feeling is normal. I had 3 miscarriages before my child was born. Almost every time I peed I looked for blood on the toilet paper. It's scary once you've experienced it. BUT keep in mind that what will be, will be. You cannot control it or manage it. Getting your arms around just that concept helps a lot. Good luck and God Bless!

p.s. I never had morning sickness with my son--more than a little food aversion, etc.

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answers from Grand Rapids on

I miscarried my second pregnancy at 5weeks. Testing revealed the cause was Triplody. My first pregnancy had resulted in an adorable baby boy - who was born deaf and with Down Syndrome. Needless to say, pregnancy #3 was FILLED with stress. Constant checking for any sign of miscarriage. Every little cramp caused a panic. I requested as many ultrasounds as they thought insurance would pay for. They did hcg level testing. On top of that I have morning sickness pretty bad with all my pregnancies requiring being medicated. At 38 weeks with #3 I told the Dr I couldn't take it - I was sick and exhausted all the time, I was worried this baby would have health issues, and I have friends who have experienced stillbirth so those thoughts weren't helping either. She told me to hold out for 39 weeks and she would induce. I had a very healthy baby boy. After you've had a miscarriage and experienced that loss it's hard not to think it won't happen again. Just hang in there!

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answers from Detroit on

My aunt always said not to worry about things you can't do anything about. I threw up once in 4 healthy pregnancies and never had bad nausea at all, just felt tired. Please relax and trust your body. If anything's wrong, you'll know it soon enough. Sounds like all systems are go to me! Congratulations!

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answers from Kalamazoo on

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage with my first pregnancy and then went on to have two happy, healthy babies. Oddly enough my first pregnancy had the most signs of a healthy pregnancy with some morning sickness, etc. Your feelings are completely normal. Express your concerns to the doctor. My doctor offered an early ultrasound to help calm my fears. Good luck!

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answers from Washington DC on

When I got pregnant after my miscarriage I was a mess! I was so stressed that every cramp, every pain, every pee visit was going to be a bad sign. I wouldn't let my hubby near me. I was sure that if I didn't do anything strenuous or stressful it would guarentee a safe pregnancy. Hubby called me nuts. Finally at the 3m mark I calmed myself down. I still was worried but tried not to stress because that wasn't good either.

I was able to carry the baby to term. Requested delivery at 38w. She is now a spitfire of a 4y princess.

My advice - try to relax. Try to focus on the positive. Take it one day ahead at a time.

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answers from San Francisco on

I think your feelings are totally normal. I had a miscarriage between my first and my second. During that second pregnancy, I was extremely afraid that I might lose the baby. I checked my underwear too! I thought my water was leaking all the time. I drove the doctor crazy. That baby is now seven years old.

Then, six years later, I discovered I was 16 and half weeks pregnant with my now 16 month old. Because of the difficulties getting pregnant with number 2 and some healing problems with my c-section, I did not think I could get pregnant. Obviously I did not have morning sickness. Early in this third pregnancy, I even got in a snow sledding accident that scared all the onlookers.

The best thing you can do is be calm. I know this is the hardest thing too. People are always amazed that I did not know that I was pregnant so long with the third but because of my miscarriage experience, I was glad that I did not know. I could not be nervous or have any anxiety.

Good luck to you. I think it is important to realize that each pregnancy is very different. Take deep breaths, enjoy your family, and take each day as it comes. And congratulations on being pregnant!

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answers from Detroit on

You are fine! Your pregnancy is fine! you are having these thoughts because of the miscarrage. Now you actually had a easy miscarriage. I have had 5 out of 11 pregnancies each pregnancy is different and each pregnancy and miscarriage is different. Just because you are six weeks pregnant and have mild morning sickness be blessed but remember this after deliver the healthy baby and you may have morning sickness after or you may not. That happened to me the last baby i had. Also it's your anxiouty taking over you need to relax and enjoy it although knowing me and from the sounds of what you wrote. Until you feel the baby move after 15 weeks of term than you won't be ok. Once you feel the baby move all your anxiety will go away. You will be excited and happy. You need to try to relax. CONGRADULATIONS!!!!! I also want to clarify a statement by saying you had a mild miscarriage they all are horrible. But if you started bleeding after 3 weeks and you never seen anything on the ultrasound than it wasn't that bad. I have miscarriaed at 3 weeks 6 weeks 8 weeks and 9 weeks. They where painful except the three week one. I still had bad cramps but wasn't like the rest. Miscarrage reminds me of delivering a baby with out the baby. you bleed just as long as after a delivery as after a miscarrage. Well I hoped it helped. After your 12 weeks get a massage.

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answers from Detroit on

It is understandable that you are apprehensive about a healthy pregnancy after a miscarriage. Stressing about it will not do you or the baby any good.

From what you said, it sounds like this pregnancy will be produce a healthy baby. As far as the morning sickness is concerned, just like every person is individual so can a pregnancy be that way.

Praying to God will help you to relieve the stress and really it is up to Him what happens. God is there for you. Believe.

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answers from Kansas City on

I had a mc with first pregnancy, had to do fertility to get pg a 2nd time, mc last year on 3rd pregnancy, and am now 9weeks pregnant for my 4th time. I'm scared too. I check everytime I go t the bathroom too. I didn't want to tell anyone yet. My dr. is seeing me every week just as a precaution. Make sure to have ur progesterone checked. Some dr's recommended using progesterone suppositories or injections as a higher level of progesterone can be be protective. Also, my reproductive endocrinologist recommends taking a baby aspirin until about 12 weeks. I'm not sure if you are a person of faith, but I have fond praying and knowing that I am doing everythng in my control to have a healthy pregnancy and the rest is up to God. I have found yoga and stretching to be very helpful. I will pray for you to find peace through this pregnancy. Good luck!

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answers from Fort Wayne on

I was in the exact same shoes as you when I got pregnant with my second. I had a miscarriage, not even knowing I was pregnant. I wound up having a D&C because I bled for almost a month. We got pregnant again with in months after my miscarriage. It was so difficult for me to bond with the baby. I had no signs of being pregnant, other than a rapidly expanding waist ling. I was absolutely petrified that I was going to have another miscarriage, so I didn't want to get attached. I spent so much time checking my panties for blood. The only thing that made it better was time. Once I got past the first trimester, I was a lot better. I would also suggest staying off the internet. Don't read stories about how people miscarried late in their pregnancies. For some reason, I was really drawn to those types of stories and I about drove myself nuts!
Congratulations to you! :)

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answers from Detroit on

There are no guarantees, but OF COURSE you can have another normal pregnancy! The almost exact same thing happened to me. I was late week after week. We didn't have home tests back then. I had 4 tests at the doc. negative....and then a heavy, very cramp period. Doc said he couldn't be sure, but was guessing I was pregnant but baby was not throwing the right hormones off meaning it prob had something wrong and the test would not read pregnant. A few months later I was pregnant again and she is now 27 years old. Miscarriages happen all the time, even before you know you are pregnant. Try not to worry.

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answers from Chicago on

Hon you just have to try and relax--I know easier said than done! What will be will be. I had a miscarriage last year at 5 weeks with my second pregnancy. I am currently 13 weeks pregnant now =) I have felt like you, worrying, so I can empathize with you, but you can't make yourself crazy for the the next 40 weeks. All the worrying isn't good for you or the baby. Unless you have cramping with heavy bleeding, I am sure you and the baby are fine. Message me if you want to talk, I do understand what you are going through. I wish you the best--try and just take it one day at a time!

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