Pregnancy After 35? - Spring,TX

Updated on August 20, 2010
A.M. asks from Spring, TX
22 answers

Hello, I'm just curious about pregnancy after 35....I'll be 35 this year and we are considering expanding our family. I had a rough 1st pregnancy with multiple bouts of bedrest....subchoronic hematoma in the beginning....preclampsia in the 3rd trimester. My doctor keeps telling me my clock is ticking but that making me feel rushed to make a quick decision, and that is stressful. I am so nervous about being on bedrest with a 2 year old but praying that won't happen again. I keep hearing alot of Mom's say their 1st pregnancy was rougher than the 2nd.. Any support/advice? Thanks!

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answers from Williamsport on

Pregnancies can be rough-or not-at any age. I had my kids at 35, 37, and 39, and they were all different. I had too much stress, no help, and tons of bed rest for my 3rd which led to a detaching placenta, early delivery and emergency C section, but that was due to being home alone with two toddlers working too hard- not age. Now at 40 I'm all bounced back and in shape after hard work, fitting in all my clothes and feeling like nothing ever happened. Don't worry!

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answers from San Antonio on

Hi Amy, every one's body is different. My first pregnancy was very nice and smooth for the whole 40 weeks. I had a very rough 2nd pregnancy and my ObGyn did mention that the toughest pregnancies are the 2nd ones. She could not explain why. I was 35 when I delivered my second child. Good luck to you.

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answers from Atlanta on

I think I would consider finding another doctor. I am 34 years old 35 in February and I asked this same question to my OB/GYN and he said I had PLENTY of time. I think that some of these doctors get so caught up with the age and risk factors but when you truly think about it every single pregnancy can be a "risk". We have more technology now and it increases every day.
I had twins my first pregnancy and for the most part it was pretty healthy sure I had problems but that was expected with me carrying twins but my doctors took very good care of me. I know even if I am 40 years old and with all the risk my team of docs would take care of me because they did such a great job when I carried the twins. Don't rush your to other docs that is YOUR docs opinion but not a standard stamp to say you and your pregnancy is doomed if you get pregnant after 35.

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answers from Philadelphia on

Ever think of enriching your family by adopting a baby or child without a home? It could be just as great and you don't have to worry about the pregnancy issues.

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answers from Phoenix on

My cousin just delivered her 3rd baby in the past 3 years... She's 39. She had wonderful pregnancies and all three of her beautiful girls are healthy and strong.

My husband and I have discussed added on to our family, I'm 35. When I spoke to my OB/GYN about it he said that over 35 isn't such a high risk anymore. They used to feel this way years ago because women weren't having their babies that "late" in life. Now that there's a history of women over 35 it's not as big of a deal.

Now that you've already had one pregnancy and know what your body went through your doctor will be able to watch for any possible signs and know what to look for.

Best wishes!

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answers from Houston on

Well I know lots of people post 35 with great pregnancies and healthy babies, so I wouldn't worry there. I am planning on having one more and I will probably be 36 or so...I am not worried:) My good friend had pre-eclampsia the first go round and delivered at 7 months and the second time did great, went full term and it was all in all uneventful. So I think if you want to do it, go for it. Any pregnancy could have some complications or be worry free, you just have faith and go for it each time. So I think if you want more, go for it and try not to let your dr stress you out. They get so excitable sometimes, like weather men watching a tropical storm near Haiti and all in a tizzy that it "could" come our way!! Take care whatever you decide:D



answers from Houston on

I had my first at 36, second one three months shy of 40 and third one at 42. The youngest is now 12. At the time 42 was considered "old" for having babies and at times I felt like the poster child for "advanced maternal age" births. Friends would call me saying that their friend, sister, whatever was thinking about having a baby after 38,39,40- could they call and talk to me about my experience? Now I have friends having babies at 43 and 44.
I had three easy pregnancies with one miscarriage in between the first and second. In fact, with the third, I kept thinking I was pregnant but then I would spot and assume it was my period and think "guess not". By the time I finally figured out I really was pregnant and got to the doctor-I was 14 weeks pregnant. Shortest pregnancy ever it seemed like!
There were the usual concerns-my blood pressure started getting high with the second but never became an issue. Both girls-#2 and 3- were breech and had to be turned. But I had natural vaginal deliveries for all three with no problems. I say go for it and don't worry so much about the age issue. Be more concerned that you are healthy and a good weight to start out with-then see what happens. Good luck!



answers from San Antonio on

I won't succumb to passing judgement on you - because I don't know if YOU WANT to have a 2nd child or if you just think you might; but I would say that you should weigh this decision very carefully. What does your hubby want?

If you decide against another pregnancy now & your clock ticks away to stop; there is adoption if you ever decide to increase your family...there are foster kids there is even adoption of an infant. These kids need a chance too and far too many are languishing in the system.

If you decide for another pregnancy, I wish you well. I wish you peace & happiness.



answers from College Station on




answers from Austin on

I had my first baby at 36 and my second at 38 - both normal, full term pregnancies. Good luck!



answers from Austin on

I'm 36 and this is my 2nd pregnancy with this one being due in about 4.5 weeks and this one has been easier than my first, she is now 2.5 years old. Good luck!


answers from Jacksonville on

I did not have serious complications with either of my pregnancies, but I DID have debilitating nausea with both. We debated and discussed when to go for #2, after the first one. I was so stressed about how I would deal, since our first was a little boy who was a real handful. Walking at 10 1/2 months, climbing, exploring and basically needing total attention during all waking hours so that he didn't "escape" and the house didn't get burnt down, lol. Grocery shopping was a completely stressful experience. I just didn't know how I would handle any of it pregnant (or even after with a newborn).

Well, my 2nd pregnancy, the nausea was even worse than the first. BUT, it was amazing how well things went, for the most part. My husband told me from the beginning something very wise: The older child may be 2 right now. But as you go through pregnancy, he is growing up also. He won't always stay quite the handful that he might be right now.

By the time our daughter was born (son was not quite 3 yrs at that point), our son had become amazingly "manageable". :) And helpful even.

Obviously, you want to have to least stress possible and a health pregnancy all around. But if your concern is how you will manage with a 2 yr old underfoot during any periods of bedrest.... keep in mind that your 2 yr old won't still be a 2 yr old for the next 10 months. They will be maturing also, and there are any number of ways that you can entertain them even on bedrest. Do you have family in the vicinity that might be able to help out during times of extreme need? Or close friends from church?
There was one point early in the 2nd trimester during the worst of the nausea (before I discovered zofran) that my hubby drove our son to stay with his grandparents for about a week. (They lived 3 1/2 hrs away, so they each drove halfway and met somewhere in the middle). It wasn't ideal, but it worked out. My mom came and stayed with us for a week and a half at one point also. The rest of the time, we managed on our own. Hubby was very accommodating and sweet. Again, I realize that what I experienced is not the same thing you had with your first, but the idea of letting family take your older child for a little here or there is something to consider. It might not be ideal, but it is worth considering as a viable option should there be complications this go-around. None of us are worse for wear because of it. In fact, my son has fond memories of those days with his Granddaddy, who is no longer with us.



answers from Houston on

Well, thanks a lot, Amy. I am 36 and pregnant with my first.

Yeah, that is definitely a lot to consider. Talk to your support system and try to put some "just in case" things in place. You can't prepare for everything, but at least you've got a head start. Don't let the doctors frighten you with clock stuff. Talk to one who can give you the facts without making you feel too much pressure. If you decide to do it, work with someone who knows your history and can monitor you more closely throughout. This might pose an insurance issue, so prepare for that. Also, if they are giving you news specific to your condition and history, listen and weigh the value.



answers from Tulsa on

i had my second at 41 it was harder than the first but it was worth it I have a happy healthy boy. welcome to the old and pregnant club :) happy pregnancy. and welcome to the club of all the kids calling you (your kids grandma.) :)


i had my second at 41 it was harder than the first but it was worth it I have a happy healthy boy. welcome to the old and pregnant club :) happy pregnancy. and welcome to the club of all the kids calling you (your kids grandma.) :)



answers from Colorado Springs on

My best pregnancy/birth was when I was 39. I'm in my early 40s now, and praying for another one! But, all people/pregnancies are different. Is the difficulty of a pregnancy worth brinigng a precious, eternal soul into the world? I say yes. :)



answers from New York on

I had my last baby at the age of 40. He was a little early but the pregnancy was better than others and he was healthy except for a little longer stay in the hospital due to pre maturity. (this may have been due to stress as I lost my mom to cancer just before he was born) Everything went well otherwise and I can't imaging life without him. He has truly been a blessing. I think as we get older we also become better mothers.I wouldn't make a hasty decision due to your "clock ticking" but I would line up some help for the 2 year old in case you need it. Best of luck to you!


answers from Norfolk on

I just have my one son, and it was a perfect pregnancy and delivery with him. I was 36 at the time. He even arrived precisely on his due date.



answers from Austin on

Your mom's history of pregnancies can help. However, your doctor should evaluate your present health as a whole and help you decide. If your husband is totally on board with another child, then go far it within a year. Time it so that your 2 year old won't be so demanding.



answers from Chicago on

get a second opinion, and a third and fourth if that makes you more comfortable. Ask specifically if you wait another year or two is it a big deal. They will let you know.

I was on bedrest with my 1st pregnancy from 26 weeks until 36 weeks, but she arrived healthy and safe! No bedrest at all with my 2nd. It went so smoothly that we decided to have a third (also no bedrest).

Its up to you and your husband and God if and when you are ready for another. Pray about it and then decide whether or not your family is ready to care for another child for the next 18+ years rather than just the next 9 months.



answers from Lafayette on

Make an appt. with a high-risk ob/gyn. The chances of you having preclampsia a second time I don't believe are very much higher than a person who hasn't had it. Regular Ob/Gyn's are not really trained in this area. Personally, I'd change just because of the pressure your Dr. seems to be placing on you. Not very encouraging. You are only 35.


answers from Sioux City on

I had a wonderful pregnancy at 41.



answers from New York on

Each pregnancy is different. My husban and I are trying to get pregnant. I just turned 44. I'm in decent shape according to the doctors but we will see how my second pregnancy goes when we cross that bridge.

Don't be scared and don't rush. It will happen when it was meant to happen.

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