Pregnancy Advice - Dallas,TX

Take a very deep breath and tell your family that you are pregnant. You will have better results if you start with what you most fear. Your family does not agree with inter-racial dating, but you do. You love your boyfriend, do you not? You are a smart person because you know that the spirit that makes a person is more valuable than the ourter shell. You see with your heart and not with your eyes, do not be ashamed of such a good quality because a lot of people do not have it. What are those spiritual qualities that attracted you about your boyfriend? He must be a good person, so how would he feel if he knew you where ashamed of him and the baby? I know you have many thoughts in your mind at this moment but don't make any rushed decisions yet and look at the positive side, your 8 year old will now have a sibiling, congrats!

I grew up in a family that was the same way about interracial dating. Since then, we've had several family members date, marry, and/or have children with people outside our race. It has done a world of good for our family. They are more accepting of others now. They couldn't imagine a world without my neice, but she's a "mix". Sometimes babies are just the thing to open people's eyes.

I know this is a tough time, with a lot of major decisions, but you'll need the support of your family, and they aren't likely to turn their backs on you in your time of need!

-A.

Hi A.,

I don't have any specific advice for you, but is there someone you are close to that you can talk to? Is your boyfriend's move permanent? I think now is not the best time to make a life changing drastic decision like moving overseas. Especially if you feel alone. Maybe if your parents find out you are about to have their grandchild, they will soften in their beliefs?

Good luck!
C.

I hate to point this out, but I'm thinking that your family is going to find out at some point. Don't you ever see them? They'll notice your tummy when you grow. Do you ever talk to them on the phone? They'll hear the baby cry once he/she is born. I suggest getting it over with now and just tell them. You're not afraid they're going to suggest terminating the pregnancy, are you? I guess that would be a fear worth waiting a while to face. I never thought about that. Well, if you want someone to chat with, you can contact me. E-mail me at ____@____.com and we can chat- I'll give you my phone number, chat names, etc. I know what it feels like not having someone you can talk to. I'm very open-minded and non-judgemental. I don't understand how someone can not agree with inter-racial dating. We're all the same on the inside- what does it matter what color our skin is?

A.,

you didn't say but is your boyfriend possibly in the Military? There is a huge support system called family services that can lend you nonjudgemental support in many ways. Does he know that he is about to be a father? What are his feelings about this and how supportive is he? That will affect your decisions down the line as well.

He is the first person you need to talk to and then if you are still on the same page, go with him to someone locally that you both trust to be your mentor for counseling or even just listening.

You may be surprised at how supportive a family can be, try talking to someone in your family honestly, without apology, and see how it goes. We learn to let go of many prejudices in situations just like this and hopeful the love comes through.

Please think also about, a non committed boyfriend does not make a great international partner. When you are out there if the relationship does not develop as hoped for, you really are cut off from everyone you know.

Good Luck and feel free to email me just to chat anytime.
K.@ the Nestingplace