Preemie 6-Week Old -- When Do I Get to Sleep Again?

honey,this is not only with preemies.. it happens with all newborns. you can expect things to get better after 4 mos. but you will have to set definite sleep habits early on..start with a nightime routine and stick to it..Iwas a mother of 7 and know what sleep deprivation is all about. It starts again in the teen years.. My kids are grown now and sleep is beautiful..

My second child was 2 months early. It was like having a newborn for 3 months. They need to eat more often since they don't take much. I remember feeding him with a horse syringe with a preemie nipple on it. It just takes time, even with a full term child, and he wil get into his own schedule. Have patience. It will be worth it!

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The sleep deprivation is tough. My son was born right on his due date and it felt like I went 8 weeks without sleeping after that. My husband (he took about a month of sick leave to stay home with us - my hero!) and I took turns and I napped when I could, but I just couldn't settle myself. I felt like I always had to be there for the baby - and it exhausted me to a frazzle.
I remember waking up from a short nap with my blanket bunched up in my arms, and my husband was right there holding the baby. I just asked him "Where is he (the baby)?" twice and my husband answers "He's right here and he's fine" and then I fell back asleep for about 30 more min. My memory s from those weeks are a blur.
Get help. Enlist friends and family to bring a meal, or do a load of laundry, or hold the baby for an hour so you can have a bath or get some shut eye. With a preemie if he was 6 weeks early I don't know if it will take 6 weeks plus about 8 more to get to a point where he'll have a sleep pattern. Hang in there. It gets better. Motherhood is the toughest job you'll ever love.

lol, in 6-12 months? Maybe not for another 2 years?

Here's what you have to learn: your husband is part of this too. Your roll of parent at home is NO LESS a job than his roll of working parent which means he has no less responsibility to help at night. You ARE NOT taking advantage of him. If you have to be up at all hours and work all day, so should he.

My husband and I worked it out by him having diaper duty since I was nursing and he couldn't help with that. I'd nurse, then nudge him and he'd get up and change the baby and bring him back to me to nurse back to sleep.

For the first 3-6 months, you have to feed him when he's hungry, around the clock, on demand. He will start to sleep longer stretches eventually, but if he was 6 weeks premature and he's 4 weeks postbirth, then he is gestationally still not even to his due date. But really that has very little to do with anything. If he's up every 2-3 hours to feed, then he's normal and there's absolutely nothing you can do but sleep while he's sleeping and get your husband to help as much as possible.

Since he's a premie and he doesn't have his mommy (and I mean this in the sense that he grew hearing one voice for 8 months and now doesn't have that), he's still getting used to you. Pemies have their own set of things they have to deal with. From what I've read, you can't expect new-born behavior and patterns until they are equivalent age past their due date. So, you are just catching up to full-term and now have to go through the typical 2-4weeks of new-born behavior.

The best thing for a premie is kangaroo care. If you haven't been doing that already, you've missed a lot of it. Premies and infants almost always sleep best against mom. Get a sling or soft carrier with an infant insert and wear him ALL THE TIME. The only time you should put him down is when you need to sleep. You can find safe bed-sharing rules on askdrsears.com if he sleeps better with you. But NEVER fall asleep while he's in a sling or while holding him in a chair or on the couch.

It's way to early to try to get set on a schedule, but you can introduce "routines" so that you always feed him when he wakes up (and then any time he routes and gives hunger signals) and a short bed time routine so he starts getting used to knowing that after a bottle, a book and a song, he'll be put to bed. You can add things like baths or baby massage, or whatever if you want. We always kept it simple and left baths for pre-bedtime playtime.

Hope that's helpful:)

Congratulations on being a mommy! My son was 5 weeks premature. We did the tight swaddle and that helped him to calm down and sleep - which helped me to sleep. I also took advantage of cat naps during the day when he slept. It will get better - but it will take awhile.

At this point, you need to know that this is a season. It shall pass. Take it one day at a time. Garner whatever kind of support you need to make it through-family, friends, church members, a MOPS club, an older person who would love to hold your little one for an hour or so to give you a break.
People are very good at saying, "If there is anything you need, please let me know", but they tend to not follow up. When they ask, tell them what you need and get your calendar RIGHT THEN and schedule some respite time for yourself.
These are just a couple of thoughts off the top of my head.
You'll make it through. Be sure to treasure this time, b/c in hindsight it truly does go so quickly
Hugs and blessings~

K.,
Welcome to motherhood :) You need to give him time to get used to a schedule. You need to have a schedule set for him, or at least try. But my very own advise is to sleep or nap when he naps. If he naps better on your bed, for now, just nap with him. It will take you a while later to get him on his own, but at least you can get some sleep. Forget about the cleaning, and cooking and washing for now. Concentrate in sleeping a little longer so you can be functional at least on the weekends when hopefully you can get more help from your husband.
I remember doing that with my first born, then with the second and third it was a little easier (not much). But you need to get some rest. If you are like me, your body will shutdown one day, because you can't take it anymore!! I could work and do things even when I am sick, but if I lack sleep, I am good for nothing!!!
Hope it gets better soon. :)

In 18 years?
Just kidding.
This is why we only had 1 child.. I am not kidding. We do not do well without sleep.

It depends on what type of sleep you are hoping for. Feedings can be every 2 hours for 2 to 3 months with some premies. Then you have 4 hours, then 6 then 8.. It takes a while to get them on a schedule, but there are a few tricks once they are older.. I will send them to you in a message.

Our daughter was a preeemie and we learned to swaddle her, to place her head up against the corner of the cradle or we would roll up a towel and place it at the top of her head. This seemed to mimic the feel of the womb to her.

We also had a baby swing that had a cradle type attachment, she really slept well in it.

Hang in there and grab sleep whenever you can. Take a shower whenever you can. Ask for help. Since you are not breast feeding, if you have a friend or relative that could come over and take care of your baby, you could get a longer period of sleep every once in a while.. Remember your husband is driving and working, so he also will really need his rest too.

This is one of those things nobody can explain to people about being a parent and apparently people forget, cause they keep having babies and still are shocked by the lack of sleep with each child they continue to have.. Bless them, they are better than me..

Congrats on your new addition! Sleep deprivation is I think THE HARDEST part of new Mommyhood. I know this is little solice, but it will get better. The bad news is that I never really slept WELL until my kids were 5 mos old and they were all full term.

That said, get as much help as you can...hire a sitter/daytime help if you can to clean and do laundry and maybe take 1 feeding so you can sleep, get family and friends to make meals, grocery shop or do whatever they can. DON'T BE PROUD. This is short term. Take the help.

My DH also was a big help when he was home, however for the first few months after having baby we hired house cleaners and ate out a lot. I also had stock of freezer foods to cook for dinner. Check out Market Day or Dinner By Design to get frozen meals that are very good so you don't have to worry about "what's for dinner".

Ask me ANY questions. I'll help any way I can. If you haven't already, join BabyCenter's website for your baby's birth month and year. It's a GREAT resource to get sent developmental emails, chat with other moms and learn about solutions to common problems or questions.

Good luck!

Not enough sleep is an unfortunate side effect of a very wonderful event. Congrats by the way. The only answer is to rest whenever you have a chance, and do not feel bashful about accepting help when offered. Keep things consistent with the little one, and before you know it you and the baby will be on a schedule and you'll be getting your much needed rest. If the baby is eating well...alot of the time at about 2 months you can add a small amount of rice cereal to the bedtime bottle to keep the babies tummy full a little longer.

Take time for yourself. I'm sure you have friends or family who would be thrilled to watch the baby while you get a good nap, or shower, or whatever. It is not a failure to use help. Most new moms have some type of help. If there isn't someone who can do this, see if their is a neighborhood teen who can help out once a week. Again, a 2-3 hr nap may make all the difference. In order to be all that for your baby, you have to take care of yourself. Sounds like you have been missing that for the past 4-6 weeks.
R.

Sleep depervation is normal, the only difference is that your body did not get you prepared for this. My children were born early, 7 days, 9 days and 11 days early. All went through this phase of no sleep. But when they packed on the pounds the magical number of 10 pounds hit they started sleeping so much better. My daughter who was born 7 days early and just shy of being 5 pounds it took until she was 3 months old to sleep longer than 20 minutes. What we finally found out was that she was we were not feeding her enough or often enough to get her to sleep. I know they reccomend formula feed babies to feed every 2 to 3 hours but I am not sure what is said about a preemie. i would nap when my daughter would even if it was for 5 minutes. It recharges your battery for the time being. Just know this will pass. I know some people are against this BUT I did this with my daughter and it helped her sleep longer periods of time. But I would lay on the sofa pillows on the floor and put her on my chest and nap with her that way. It was the comfort of the warmth of my body and my heart beat that soothed her. I did what I could to get sleep.

Also DO not feel guilty about the daddy time. It gives you some time to get refocused and recentered take it. I have three children now and with the first one I felt that way. I felt like it was my job to be the mommy and to be mommy 24/7. Now with three children I relenquish the duty to get myself recharged. With doing that it helps me be a better mom to my kids and a better wife to my husband.

I certainly congratualtion to you on becoming a mom. It is the best job in this world. It takes time to adjust so being patient for this time period is hard but it prepares you for the most wonderful boding time. Enjoy it now because 6 years from now when he is going to kindergarten you will wish you had this time with him again.

One other thought is if you have a friend or a mom or dad that are close by see if they can come and help you out for the day. Maybe just one day a week so that you can get yourself some sleep.

bed news ? my daughter turn 1 in January still does not sleep thru the night...shes awake every 3 hours and even when she nap thru the day im not able to sleep cause when she was more little she nap like 15 min. only so i didnt sleep ....is hard having the first baby and more if they dont like sleeping....what work for me ? first at all get used to it...second putting relaxing music around the places he is... and 3th in weekend or if your husband has 2 days without working you can take turns...he can take of the baby while you sleep thru the day every hour you need and the other day he rest you let him rest like if he were working...i know having a baby is going to stress out your life and relationship cause both of you are tired and dont have time to go out and have fun as you maybe use to...but the first year is a year of sacrifices, a lot of patient and showing love the more possible because is easy to forget after those no-resting weeks or months...there is some things you can do to feel better without resting..

taking relaxing natural tea in the morning like (here some recipes:)

http://oldfashionedliving.com/herbalteas.html

also when the baby is napping put slice potatoes (uncooked) in your eyes for at least 10 min. is going to relax your tired skin-eye also cucumber should help but i prefer potato.

Grind thyme and boil in water. Let it stand for a few minutes then put a towel over your head and breathe the steam.

drink a lot of water and eating fruits (apple are the best for tiredness) and vegetable....you'll think it has nothing to do with it but when you eat this kind stuff its get more energy.

work out with your baby in the morning at least 30 min. can be walking in the neighbor or just making exercise or yoga with him (babies love this) here a you tube page with examples of what you can do...you can find more videos in you tube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYLU1ileodw&feature=re...

i know what you need is a whole-week-of-sleep... believe me!! but this things are going to make it easy until you got one.

i hope i could help you !!

Hello K. --

My youngest (adopted) weighed 1 lb 9 oz when born. As some of the others here have said... and wisely so... right now, full attention to baby. I was fortunate enough to be able to hire someone at that time to do light house-keeping. My daughter was oxygen dependent and on an apena monitor, so I slept on the counch in the living room, by her crib, so I could be 'ready' every time her monitor went off. The "good news" is that that tiny baby girl will be 18 in 3 months, and she is doing very, very well! One mom on here said you would be able to sleep in 18 years; I disagree... you sleep for about the middle 10-15, then, you start having to stay awake at night waiting for them to get home!

Sleep for mom is a precious commodity, and at this time it seems the least little thing is a crisis because you are sleep deprived. Smile at the future, enjoy the moments when you are awake enough to do so, and as the poem of yesterday says... forget about the cobwebs and the dust, you are rocking your baby and that is a must.

Congratulations to you my dear. Enjoy motherhood.

My daughter was 6 weeks early and she to took longer than my 2 other kids to get into a routine (they were both 6 days late). When you are pregnant towards the end you cannot sleep very well and this is natures way of getting you used to what is to come , but you never went through that stage. You could try going to bed earlier (say 9pm) and get your husband to do the late night feed so that you get a bit of sleep before the next feed in the early hours. I allowed for the fact that my daughter was early and so every milestone I allowed to be late based on how many weeks early she was. Give it a little more time & I promise it will get better and he will get into a routine (around when he should have been 6-8 weeks).

Congratulations.

You are beginning the hardest, but best and most rewarding journey of your life.

Lots and lots of good suggestions...the truest is this is just a season and it will pass and GET HELP, don't be proud.

If you have a church family ask for help. People really love to serve..and one day you will be able to return the gift and truly understand how much of a blessing you can be to a new mother.

If someone wants to throw a shower, suggest it be a frozen dinner shower. Where friends will cook meals that can be frozen (in throw-away, nonreturnable tin pans) or give a gift of time…come and sit at your home and watch the baby while you nap. How about a gift of cleaning the bathroom, doing laundry. In this day and age people want to give but money is tight so time and talent can mean just as much if not more.

If you don’t have a support community, get one. Lack of sleep will not be the last thing you need support for. We are created to live in community.

And the answer as to when you can sleep again ….just wait until your son is 16 and driving …or is in the army and serving in a time zone that is opposite of yours. Lol…we will always be moms and it is great!

First off, CONGRATS!!! We went through infertility for 6 years, so I know how excited you are. :)

As someone else mentioned, your body didn't prepare you for the lack of sleep. I'm 35 weeks and was up at least every 3 hours last night to go to the bathroom and had to fight to go back to sleep each time. Oh, but I remember the days of NO sleep with our first.

I think it takes MOST full term babies about 2 - 3 months to really adjust and start sleeping a little more between feedings (day and night). I have two friends who had their babies on Dec. 21st. One was full term and the other was 8 weeks early. Both babies are struggling with sleeping longer than 2 - 3 hours. Both are breastfed, so that may have something to do with it. My SIL's twins that were born a month later are formula fed and they seem to be sleeping fine (but I also worry that she puts them on their tummies to sleep...don't do this!).

Swaddling at night will help and letting him sleep in a swing during the day may help, too. My daughter only slept for a longer period of time (1-2 hours instead of 10 minutes) in her swing....so that's where she napped for several months.

It is A-Ok to let Daddy help as much as he is willing or you need him to (not always the same thing! :) Sometime soon, you need to get out of the house for an evening without the baby and let Daddy do all that you do during the day. It is good for everyone! You get a chance to revamp and learn that Daddy can do it all by himself. Daddy learns he can do it without your support and realizes how much work it really is. And baby learns that Daddy is a confident caregiver. I try to get out every other Friday night and my husband and daughter look forward to their date out.

You also need to realize that the baby is the only thing that matters at this point....forget everything else! I made myself a wreck trying to do it all.

It does get better....but just because he starts to sleep through the night at some point doesn't mean he will continue to forever! :) My daughter would wake for different reasons in waves of sleeping through the night. Lately, she has been getting up once through the night and coming into our room. Parenthood is AWESOME though. Kiss that sweet baby and hold him as much as you want. :)

I can relate with you in that our daughter was born 10 weeks early and in the NICU for a month and a half. One thing they told us in the NICU was to remember that when she is, in your case, 6 weeks old, she is really a newborn, since she was early. You will get to sleep again, trust me. It just takes time. Your feelings are completely normal and it can be difficult. My advice would be to embrace it, because it will go quickly. It doesn't always seem so at 2 a.m., but it will. Something that may be helpful is kangaroo care. Here is a link, which may be helpful: http://www.prematurity.org/baby/kangaroo.html. There are also a few other links on the side of the page which give other insights to preemies. One thing I noticed when we had visitors, was that my daughter would get overstimulated easily, which is normal for preemies. This would disrupt her sleeping patterns. We just had to learn the cues and follow through every time. The visitors will have to understand. Another thing which helped was infant massage. It is great for comforting baby for sleep time. All of these things are the tidbits which helped us immensely along the way. You're not alone. That is helpful to hear. It is incredibly amazing what you and your husband are doing. Let him help you and, in that time, take time for you, whether it be sleeping or catching up on your latest show. You are doing great and will keep doing great :) Hang in there!

Congrats to you. My baby did not sleep a good length of time until I trained her to sleep (Ferber method) but I did not do that until she was 4.5 months old...She is 15 months old now and sleeps 11-12.5 hours each night. For now I would recommend a schedule for you and your hubby. Since he works, you should take the night shift 2 nights in a row and then have him do 1 night, you do 2 nights again, then him do 1..just until you get a rythm down.
How long your baby keeps waking up will depend on you. its VERY important to do a routine/schedule. bath/playtime/book/bed etc. Your baby will not understand it right now, but around 3 or 4 months old, he/she will get used to the routine and depend on it...helps for happy sleepers :):) and therefor happy moms and dads.
Its a really hard time for you guys right now but keep in mind, it passes soon enough. Charish this time with your little miracle :):)

Congratulations on your new guy! We welcomed our second child into 9 weeks early. Your feeelings of bringing baby home are completely understandable. It is petrifying!
From day one with our little guy we heard this...preemies are noisy sleepers. We moved him into his crib a lot sooner than big brother because he was keeping us up most nights. He would squak and coo all hours of the night and of course I would jump up. He seemed to need much more interaction and comfort than our first, wouldn't nap in the swing or pack and play and just wanted to be held and cuddled. I finally just came to realize that it is just the way his is, a noisy little boy adjusting in his bed and just trying to get comfy.
Just remember, this too shall pass. Yes, you will start to get more sleep and it will all work out. If you can't nap when he naps at least take a break, sit down and just stop for a moment. Make sure he is on the right formula, this could be making him uncomfortalbe too. Give yourself more time. I'm sure daddy doesn't mind helping out either, he's probably just as proud and excited as you are these days. These little beings are a work in progress as are we! Good luck! Breath.