" Praying for a Miracle"

Updated on September 11, 2009
S.D. asks from Tallahassee, FL
16 answers

How do you make life better when you are a single parent with two girls, finances in an uproar, no support from the father because he has seem to forgot that he has kids, working 12 hour night shifts, living with your sister but getting ready to move in an apartment that you are not sure you can afford and on the verge of a breakdown? How do you turn things around when they are so messed up?

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So What Happened?

I want to thank everyone for their kind words of encouragement and for being so resourceful. Your words of wisdom and advice has truly lifted my spirits. I was looking at the glass half empty instead of half full. I THANK GOD that we still live in a world where people still care; it makes you feel not so alone. THANK YOU ALL!!!

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answers from Tampa on

If you feel depressed, you could get on some medication to help in that department. It may not solve any other issues, but it makes them easier to bear.

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answers from Jacksonville on

In addition to all the other responses, I wanted to add:
Do you have a legal document (support order or divorce decree) setting a specific amount of child support? If you do not, you should pursue one. If you do, then you should pursue enforcement. It won't be an instant stream of $ to help out, but eventually you can have some financial support coming in from him.

Contact your local child support enforcement office. They can help you. Realize that they are government employees and anything govt run is slow and inefficient, but it will cost you VERY little and they have the means to do all sorts of things to collect support on your children's behalf. Once a support order is in place, they can take the non-custodian to court to collect current ongoing support and recoup arrears he may have accrued or may accrue in the future. They can intercept any tax refunds from the feds, can implement an income deduction order from his employer, can file liens against any lump sum monies they are made aware of (inheritances or large lottery winnings, etc). Additionally, everything he pays will be required to go through the courts (domestic relations depository most likely) and they will have accurate permanent records of what he has (or HASN'T) paid from here on out. It will take some time, but if he has any income, they can collect SOMETHING for you and get some $$ flowing your way.

While you may be disheartened at the moment, things won't always be this way. If you can perservere for a while longer, you can look forward to improving circumstances of your own making, and financial assistance from the kids' dad to ease things even more, down the road.

Pray, and try to take it one day at a time. Make a plan. That means a budget, and short and long term goals.

You can do this.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Miami on

Trust in God. He will always provide. Right now you probably feel like you have no control over anything. Take charge. Sit down and put a budget on paper. Keep a record of every purchase you make. Knowing where your money is going can ease your mind and might just show you that things are not as bad as they seem to be. You have your sister for support so you know you will never be homeless and you have a job. Have you considered sharing an apartment with another single mom? You might just be the miracle someone is waiting for. Try to connect with your family each day even if it's having dinner together. Make it a rule.

Take things one day at a time. A year from now you will have a whole new set of worries to face so just remember, nothing lasts forever.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Fort Walton Beach on

Wow, you've gotten great responses so far! WIC, housing, etc. is all good for the single parent. Is it possible for you to move back in with your parents? Why are you trying to move out so quickly into an apartment that you would barely afford?

Here are some sites to look at that might help:









You need to pursue the child support! Try to be proactive and do something everyday for it. Say, today I will fill out that form. Tomorrow, I will provide back up to that form. The next day, I will bring it to the court office. Ect.

Please don't forget your church, they can usually help you or at least point you in the right directions.

And one more thing - if you have more questions, ASK! Post them to the board and ask them. Someone who is an expert/has knowledge or someone who has been through it before might read that question and answer it. The more you get resolved, the better you will feel. Just remember it takes time and it takes discipline and it takes asking questions.

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Lakeland on

You pray and believe in God. I will put you in my prayers S. cause times are tough right now, but when everything hits rock bottom the only direction left to travel is up.
God Bless you and your kids.



answers from Tampa on

Have you tried to get help threw government programs? I know that you might not be comfortable doing so, but you can apply online in your own house, also Wic is another program thats provided threw the state. I no longer except help from them as I no longer need it, but they helped to get me threw a few months when I didnt quailify for anything else. I wont say I have walked in your shoes, but I will say this, the advice of the other mom about looking ahead and working to get there was right on the money. Think about the future and what your going to do to get you and your girls there. You can do it! Keep your mind strong and if you need a moment to cry take that time out to let go of some of the stress of it all. Just remind yourself, money may make the world go around, but you have your girls, and you have your sister. Keep them close at hand. Try not you stress too much because the girls will see it, and you dont want them to worry about these things. If you need any help finding some help, believe me I dont mind. I know it aint easy asking, but we're all people and I would hope if I were in your shoes someone would want to help me too. I dont know how relgious you are, but I find that sometimes yelling at god and asking him why is this happening to me makes me feel better because atleast thats someone who has been where I am, and is with me always who knows what I am taking about. Maybe some talks with the big man might help too. Email me if you need a shoulder to cry on, I am always available =)



answers from New York on

You think of a year out from now and envision how life will be then. It will be better, because you will make it better. Take pride in the fact that you are there for your children...mom's are incredible and strong and we make it work for our kids.

Also, is there any assistance you can get? Look online for you state to see if there is anything that can be done for the short term. Programs are there for people that really need them. Also, if you really feel stressed, talk to your doctor to see if they can help you.
Life is crazy and we will all go through our tough times, whatever they may be, but you will get through it. I have a close friend who in the same situation as you. She lives in california and has two boys. She works her butt off and often felt like she was at the end of her rope. Her ex-was a no show. No child support either, she ended up applying for HUD in California and they pay half her rent..her children are older now and one is off to college. I thing she is just catching her breath and can look back on this whirlwind.

I know we have a program in NY called WIC, which helps families with children.

You will make it! Best of luck!



answers from Gainesville on

There are alot of agencys that will give you some assistance to get you into your apartment that at least you can start out fresh and ahead of the game. Get in touch with your local United Way and Salvation Army, both are wonderful recourses for you. Also if there is a Cathlioc Charitys in your area, i know of the one in gainseville or lake city. They can give you assistance with food 3 times a year. Apply for foodstamps. Even if you work there are agencys that will give you assistance. In these rough times do not be ashamed of asking for a stepping stone. If you need any help in finding recourses check with your local 611. Take some of the burden off and PRAY never loose faith that things can only get better. Keep your support line open and accessable at all times. Have you checked with your local HUD office to see if you may be eliegable for assitance in paying your rent. Keep in touch and if you need any help hun do not hesitiate to ask for it
AS i always state.... it take a community to raise children that's why we are all here and reading everyday



answers from Tampa on

You pray, and you keep just putting one foot in front of the other.



answers from Los Angeles on

Home-based business! Your family and everybody need ionized, alkaline, micro-clustering Kangen water (by the way, miracle water in translation). Check www.kangen4everyone.com. It brings back health, energy, young look, and wealth. It's amazing!



answers from Lakeland on

Keep your head up, and remember you have 2 kids that need you. Remember that what you do is all for them and the best life you can give them! They don't care about "things" right now just all the love you can give. Spend every moment you can with them and let them know what you have to do in order to give them the things they need



answers from Miami on

I know houw u feel ,there r many single parents including me .I have a son that hasnt seen his dad in a long time.It is very sad ,and financially we arent doing well,but i'am trying to go back to school.Just remember there is someone above all this to help u and turn to when theres no one around,especially what iam going thru,with not any brothers or sisters or close family and no friends that understand hardly..This could be a lot longer message but I just want to let u know I know its hard but u have to stay strong for your kids and remember things will change! Good Luck always !



answers from Orlando on

Hey S.! My heart goes out to you! It is tough being a single parent and I can't imagine what you go through. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I found this article and I thought I would share it with you. I know it has given me strenght in my times of need when I thought the world was caving in on me. Feel free to check it out http://www.millionaireinside.com/blog/millionaire-inside-...

Just remember you are stronger than you think and God will certainly honor your prayers and everyone's elses who is praying for you. I wish you the best and if you ever just need to talk feel free to contact me.

Warm Regards
L. B.



answers from Miami on

Trust in yourself. Know that you are doing the best you can with the best intentions. Have confidence in yourself! We are all struggling on some level with our own personal problems but from the minute we start to doubt...or feel negative we have let ourselves down. You are doing a wonderful job i am sure and when you work hard and have faith things always fall into place and everything will be ok...they will, you'll see.



answers from New York on

You are very strong and you need to be for your little ones- my kids are the very reason I wake up everyday. Just look at them for a little while and you'll be ok. God will take care of you. learn to speak with him everyday



answers from Miami on

You keep praying. Even though easier said than done, trust and have faith that your prayers are not falling on deaf ears. Pray in your car, pray on your job, pray in the shower, pray before bed: JUST KEP PRAYING!!! And ALWAYS pray in Jesus' name! My prayers are with you, S.. God bless you and your girls. OH! And I almost forgot! Don't forget to pray for your girls' daddy. He may be their daddy, but obviously not much of a father....

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