Potty Training...how to Begin?

Updated on December 17, 2012
N.L. asks from Crowley, TX
8 answers

My son turned 3 in October. He is in day care from 7:30 am until either 4pm if I pick him up or 5pm if my husband picks him up. The day care does not really seem to be doing anything to potty train him. So that leaves us 3 hrs in the day when we get home to try to potty train him. He will go pee pee on the potty and has even pooped in the potty. But I just feel lost in what to really do. I know that sounds pathetic, but would love to hear some suggestions on what to do to start trying to REALLY potty train him. Once he gets home we put underpants on him. At first I would ask him if he had to go about every 20 mins. But he would say no....then next time I would check he wet his pants. So then I just started to take him to the potty, but he fights me and tells me he doesn't want to go. Only a handful of times have I taken him to the potty and he actually pee'd. Can you awesome mothers of very difficult and strong-willed boys give me some suggestions on what worked for you? I just feel very stupid about this. My daughter was potty-trained at her day care within 2 weeks of going there when she was 2yrs old. So I didn't need to potty train her. I need to get him potty trained soon or he can't move up to the next classroom.

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S.J.

answers from St. Louis on

Honestly, I would take a week (or as long as you can) off of work. When we did our first (2 years old), it took us just a few days, but we were very consistent and stayed home the entire time (Christmas vacation). He was also our easy kid!

And to start, you just set his little butt on the potty seat and tell him this is where he goes potty now. Let him sit there as long as he likes, but don't make him sit there if he doesn't want to. Then just keep checking on him every 20-30 minutes to see if he has to potty.

We gave rewards for going, just your basic little chocolate chip or small candy. We made it super exciting and never punished for any mistakes. We put him in underwear full time. I honestly don't even think we had one accident.

We also had a potty chart with stickers. We just made it ourselves, you can google ideas. One Step Ahead website has some really innovative ideas for training.

Tell the day care you are starting to train. They should assist you in also training him while he is in their care.

And do not get discouraged if he doesn't get it during your week off of work. I know plenty of three year olds who just aren't ready. He will get there, I promise. I always tell discouraged moms I promise he won't be wearing diapers in his teens, so stop worrying. =)

Good luck

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Sit down with the teacher and discuss this with them. This is something that should be common to do in the 3 year old room. Almost all of the child care facilities I have owned or worked in had a full access bathroom in the 3 year old classroom. They sometimes had a restroom close to the 2 year old room but it wasn't common to focus on that so much in that room.

So this is something they "should" be doing and have much experience at doing. IF they do not would you please call around and discuss this with other facilities in your area? Please? I think that you will find that all of them do potty training in the 3 yr. old classroom.

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L.N.

answers from Fort Myers on

I understand your situation because I was in the exact same situation a few months ago. My advice is this. Switch from Diapers to Pull Ups and begin a routine with him at home where you take him to the potty every 30-45 minutes. Reward him with an m&m every time he pees. After a month or two you guys will really have the routine down and he will really start getting the hang of it. You'll see! Then, switch to big boy underwear. Continue the routine of taking him to the potty and rewarding him. Do Not punish him for accidents! Simply explain, when he pees in his underwear, that peepee belongs in the potty. When you find he is dry in between trips to the potty, praise him. Contine with the m&ms. After some weeks or months, he will start learning to hold it and stay dry, and will probably start telling you when he needs to go as well.

It takes time and patience...peeing in the potty as opposed to in diapers is a HUGE transition and skill for them to learn...if you think about it it's really like a whole change in their lifestyle if you know what I mean...but you can do it. That is how I potty trained my son while working FT and I KNOW you can do the same! Good luck!

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L.M.

answers from Reno on

Well, one way I started with all 3 of mine was to change their pull-ups in the bathroom. I would "empty" the pull up (if poopy) into the toilet and then let them flush the toilet, saying "bye bye poop". This got them to understand that that's where poop goes. Also, I would continue with the asking often.... I've never used daycare for mine, so I am sure it must be difficult if they are not helping in this endeavor. I'd be sure to sit down with them and explain what your needs are and let them know that you expect them to help with this and provide progress reports daily/weekly. Best of luck!! :)

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Do you have a week off between Christmas and New Year's? If so, you're set.

My son was nearly 3 1/2 when I trained him, and it was during just that week. I just put him in underwear all day and took it from there. We were traveling, and it was ridiculously inconvenient, but it worked. On Day 1, he didn't make it to the potty once. On Day 2, he woke up in the morning trained.

I DID give him either 1 kid vitamin or 1 skittle for every success. I'm actually very anti-candy, but I was desperate. And -- I think this is important -- I didn't make a big fanfare about the change. No good-by party for the pull-ups or anything like that -- that sets up an opportunity to resist. I just said, "you wear underwear now" and took it from there.

My son isn't really strong-willed and difficult, but he is very fearful of and resistant to change. Honestly, I think 3-and-change is a good age for this, for boys.

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I was a SAHM so I didn't have to pick a day or time. I was there. I did babysit a grandson for some years and he was 2 years and 8 or 9 months old when I potty trained him. He had said he would never be potty trained and would keep his pull ups, etc. but on the day I decided to start I said 'today we are going to go in the potty. no more diapers.' He didn't like the idea but I put the underwear on him and he had an accident and I calmly cleaned it up and took him to the potty, which was a fisher price one that played music when you go, and he went in it after sitting there a bit and never had another accident. At nap time I said maybe we should do pull ups and he said no and woke up dry. Of course all kids aren't like that. Some of mine took longer than a few days but most only a couple of days. Maybe you could do it on a weekend. Start with a timer and make it fun and say when it goes off he goes to sit on the potty. If he goes you praise him and give him a reward of whatever you chose, small though, and then repeat. I set the timer for every 15 min. to start with so they start 'thinking' potty all day. Then increase the time on the timer to 30 min., etc. if he goes. I gave some of my kids a small marshmallow as a treat, however I prefer no food as a treat, some got a small toy at the end when done and trained, some did stickers or charts. You just need to be consistent and once you start don't stop. No pull ups in between unless at nap time or bedtime. They're a crutch. But don't ASK him just take him. Tell him 'it's time to go potty' and take him. They'll nearly always so no if you ask them.

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G.♣.

answers from Springfield on

Have you talked to the daycare teachers about this? My son's daycare teachers follow the parents' lead on this one. He did not attend this summer, and I worked with him over the summer. When he began going to daycare again, he regressed. They told me how he did each day, but we (my husband and I) decided how to proceed. We put him back in pullups for awhile and kept in contact with his teachers about his progress. When we felt he was ready, we began sending him in underwear. They completely followed our lead and our wishes.

Since the teachers are will him so much during the week, talk to them about what role they can play in this. I just don't know how we would have done if they had not played such an active role.

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R.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

I would talk to daycare, you need to work together, especially since he spends the majority of his awake time there. Explain you want him to train now, and let them know you take him every twenty minutes or so, (stretching the time as he gets better at holding it), they may balk but you keep doing it.

Get rid of diapers if you haven't, use cloth training pants, he'll feel the wetness, it helps with training. Don't ask if he needs to go, they'll usually say "no" lol. Take him by the hand and simply say "it's time to go potty." When you see him playing and getting "the look" get him there pronto, teach him to recognize his body's signals. Once he does that he'll begin peeing in the potty more regularly. And, you have a role model for him, your husband! Have him take him in the bathroom when he goes, parents of the same sex as their child are the best example :) Though single moms and dads can still do it, I did.

My guy was fully trained at 26 months, had to be to start preschool so we started early, and he was past ready (I'd missed the window of opportunity when he'd exhibited readiness signs so he got comfortable.) Stubborn to the max, it took about 5 months, 3 to 6 months is the norm.

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