Potty training..again - Denton,TX

This is a control issue. He knows what to do and when, and he is refusing.

The pull-up is enabling him. I know the prospect is daunting, but I would go cold turkey off of them. No going back. Throw them away and let him help you. "I'm sorry, buddy, but you're a big boy now and big boys wear big boy underpants. You can do it!" If there is a mess, he can help you clean it up and see how yucky it is.

Many articles / books I read said that once he is going regularly during the day and staying dry during naps, it's time to take away diapers at night. Once our son was going, he wasn't interested in wearing his diapers anymore. I was so tempted to get pull-ups "just in case", but I went with the "no training wheels" route and I'm glad. I was truly dreading cleaning up messes and it happened one time, that's it. DS helped us clean up and now he has that association - if I don't go to the potty right away, there will be a mess. Yuck!

It takes courage, but you can do it! Good luck!

ETA: We do potty two times at night. No drinks after dinner, potty before bath, Pjs, stories, potty again, then bed. He usually ends up peeing both times and he's been dry through the night, then up around 6:30 to go.

Potty training is definitely a process, and often takes months. My oldest daughter was the same way. At 2 1/2 she stayed dry all night and had no issues peeing in the potty. We put her into undies and then for 6 months dealt with her pooping in her undies. I disagree with both you and Amy who say he is "refusing" because it's not a simple as that. For lack of a better word, we "harrassed" our daughter about the pooping and it freaked her out to the point she just started holding it in and that was a little scary when she would go days without pooping and would become so constipated. So we backed off. We didn't put her back in diapers or in Pull-ups, but we stopped making a big deal of her pooping in her undies . . . we would just clean it up and not say anything. Was this fun? Of course not. But who knows what was going on in her little mind? She certainly couldn't articulate her thoughts. I certainly don't think she was intentionally being difficult (she was always very good natured and easy going). But clearly we were stressing her out. So after a few weeks break from the pressure, we started talking about how she would be 3 soon and that 3 year olds go poopy on the potty. This was done in a very conversational way, nonchalant, in the month leading up to her 3rd birthday. And then we created the reward chart. Stickers marked days she was successful, after a certain # of successful days, she got a small reward (she loved dollar stores) and we had pictures of the small reward items on the chart (visual reinforcement). And there was a bigger reward at the end when it was clear she finally had the hang of it (nothing extravagant, but it has to be something your child is really interested in). Again, put a picture on the chart. And the chart needs to be displayed where he can see it, but not in the bathroom.

Work with your child, don't assume he's just "refusing," and don't stress him out. It will happen . . . just be a little more patient.

My son was 3 1/2 before he was fully potty trained and that was very frustrating for me! It was totally a control issue b/c he would go hide behind a chair or something and tell me he was going potty but when I said he needed to go to the bathroom to do that, he would be done in his pull-up before we could get there. He never really liked going potty (even peeing) in public restrooms so I knew he could control his body. At 2 1/2 your son is still young so give it a little more time and he should get it. Boys generally take a little longer than girls to potty train (which was the experience we had here--my daughter was fully potty trained-and basically trained herself I say--by 2 1/2) so it will be a lot easier on everyone when they are ready themselves and not worth the power struggles IMO!

LOL, my son was the exact opposite. He took to pooping in the potty pretty easy but still has lots of pee accidents. With the pooping... once we switched to big boy underpants, he had a poopy accident in them. For some reason cleaning up poop in underpants is much grosser to me than a diaper... so as I am trying to clean him up in the bathroom, I am gagging and my eyes are watering.. and I finally threw up. Well that made an impression on him. Every now and then when we talk about him needing to keep his big boy pants clean, he says something about yeah, so Mommy does not throw up. LOL. But he does not have poop accidents anymore!!

Anyway.... your son will get there. Be patient. My son was 3 years 4 months until he was fully potty trained. It could take a little more time yet. Is he afraid to sit on the big potty? Have you tried a kids potty seat or a small kids potty that you have to empty out? How about rewards for pooping on the potty? Some kids feel really afraid that "part of them is coming out...". I would just keep talking about it and keep working on it, but dont push too hard. It only makes it worse if you push them too hard. He will get there, even if it does take a bit longer than you had hoped :0)

My son was like that too, only he pooped in his underwear. This is what worked; "Chucky Points". The kids love going to Chuck E. Cheese, so I told my son that he would get a Chucky Point each day that he did not poop in his underwear. After ten days, he got a trip to see the mouse. Chuck E. Cheese even has reward certificates for potty training, among other things on their website.

try putting him on the potty right before bed time. Also give him a goal. Once your a big boy and can poop on the potty with no accidents we will go to the Zoo (or the water park, or to the store to pick up a big deal to him toy). We bribed our son he was three and wanted to go to the Houston Zoo. We are now training our 2 1/2 daughter. We started when she was two but she wasnt physically ready she peed all over the floor it was a mess. (tile floors). We are now training her again and its going much much better. She makes it most times with an accident about twice a week. It would most likely not happen if I would think about it every 45 mins and remind her to go. Were almost there. And it sounds like your almost there too. While he is sitting before bed time to go poop remind him of the awesome gift he will get to do because he is a big boy and gets a big boy gift. It turned into a big boy trip to the Zoo for us. We have a small Zoo in our town but nothing like the Houston Zoo.

************added************ we tried to potty train our son at 2 yrs old and would get him to a great start durring the weekend but on the week days he was in a daycare that wasnt that into potty training.