Potty Training Time

Updated on December 08, 2009
M.C. asks from Roseville, MI
15 answers

So I realize it's time to really start with the potty training of my son. I think he's ready...but I am wondering if any of you wonderful moms out there who have already mastered this milestone can offer any advice on books that I should read in order to start out on the right foot. My son is 2 1/2 and while some may think he's a late bloomer...I think he just likes to takes his time, LOL. He uses his potty when he gets out of the bath but quite often he refuses to use it any other time (even if we try to entice him with rewards) and we don't force the issue. Any and all advice would be great. Thanks so much!

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S.M.

answers from Detroit on

I think 2 1/2 is actually early for little boys. Some learn by then. Others are closer to 3 before they master it. It sounds like he's learning it. If he's going through any resistance, I'd quit pushing and wait until he's more receptive. Hope this helps.

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A.H.

answers from Detroit on

I agree with Ginny. My son expressed an interest when at Daycare, but then fell away from it. He was not fully trained until he began Preschool at age four. Even at that time we still had some issues due to some stress from changes in the classroom and teacher turnover. (Any simple change of event can effect a child, so keep it in mind.)

I would say keep patient and do not force it until he is older, more consistent and will go willing if you suggest it. I do have a good book that I plan to donate to the library the next time I go up. It really helped us out!
(I'll have to edit this to add the title later, it's been a while since we've used it.)

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J.W.

answers from Detroit on

I don't think he's a late bloomer at all! We potty trained my son at 3 and he took to it right away. (Blessed, I know! My daughter has not been so easy) He simply wasn't ready until then and, like you, we were not going to force the issue.

I don't know about books for you, but we got a potty book (I think it was Sesame Street/Elmo) that was a coloring book and came with a chart and stickers. It was fantastic. If you find it, let me know! I'm looking for one for my daughter. I think I got it at Meijer but I didn't see it last time I was there. He also had a couple potty books with sounds that he liked. My daughter has been using those more b/c she likes to sit and read on the potty, lol!

Just be patient, understanding, and forgiving of accidents (no shame!) and you and your son will do just fine! My biggest piece of advice is if once you start you get the feeling he's not ready, stop and try again in a month or so, or whenever he seems ready again. You're on the right track with not wanting to force it, especially before 3 years. God bless!

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S.R.

answers from Detroit on

First of all I am the Mom to 4 children 2 boys and 2 girls. Both my boys did not potty tain until after 3. No matter what anyone says most, not all, boys train later. My first, a girl trained right at 2 and she was really ready, but both my boys were not. I know it may seem hard but really wait until they are ready it will save yoy major headaches later. When my boys were ready it only took about 2 days for the daytime training nights took longer, but looking back 2 days was a lot better than months that it can take if they are not ready.

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J.H.

answers from Detroit on

I think it's great that you're not forcing the potty training on your little guy - some kids just naturally take a little longer. With my daughter, she really responded to being able to pick out her own potty seat. It made her very excited to go potty. And then we did Jelly Belly jelly beans as a reward (1 for going #1 and 2 for going #2). I liked them because they are small. Or you can do M&Ms (my daughter doesn't like chocolate though which is why we did the jelly bellies - Costco sells a huge container of them that will probably last you through your entire potty training and then some!)

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L.S.

answers from Detroit on

I've used "Potty Train Your Child In Just One Day" by Teri Crane three times now (in fact I just potty trained my youngest a month ago). One day locked in the bathroom with your child seems like a pain but it does work. My oldest was completely train (dry naps and nights!) in 4 hours. Yep, 4 hours, I thought I was a genius :). My second took 6 months. He knew how to pee on the potty after the 1 day training but we had a newborn in the house and he didn't want to give up his baby status and would mess on the floor on purpose until we gave up and put trainers on him. He eventually saw the light and when HE decided he wanted to go on the potty he did it himself. It was all very frustrating but that's a battle ya can't win. I just trained my youngest and he went from never once sitting on the potty to being independent in 2 weeks and 2 days peeing, pooping, some dry naps and a few dry nights too. He still needs help wiping and turning his undies right-side-out but other than than he does everything all by him self, sometime I don't even know he's gone until I see the pee in the potty chair. My boy's ages when trained were 2 1/2, 2 1/2 and 2 1/4. My youngest at first needed to be dragged to the potty to sit but reading a story helped and after the first couple times he peed and we made a huge celebration he was fine. He still gets 1 M&M each time he goes if he tells me and that was really incentive enough for him :) "Do you want an M&M? OK, go sit on the potty first." We had to do that for about a week. Then he'd go willingly then after two week he would just miraculously go to the potty without coaxing.

I think 2 1/2 is not too young even if he can't talk well yet. My youngest can't say "I have to go on the potty" when we are out but he can grab his crotch and say "pee" and I know what he means. If you google "potty train in 1 day" you can find snippets about the program, probably even enough that you don't need to buy the book. It recommends a doll that pees but honestly I didn't even use it with my 3rd...I tried and when he saw the doll pee he freaked out so I threw the doll in the bathtub and that was that.

Good Luck!
L.

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L.G.

answers from Detroit on

melissa, only you can judge if your son is ready, just don't feel pressured to do it because others are or say he should be!

i just potty trained my daughter. it took two weeks before i could confidently say she was done. i thought that was pretty good! and, i was surprised that she was night trained too. i expected her to wear diapers for much longer. it's like their bodies and brains just "click".

i read Becoming Toddlerwise by Gary Ezzo. It's a series. I always liked this series, which starts with Becoming Babywise. They also have a book specifically about Potty Training, called Becoming Pottywise, but I felt that the Toddler version offered enough info.

I got all geared up for potty training, got all the equipment, including a doll that pees, and demonstrated for my daughter how the doll would drink, then pee on the potty (then flush and wash her hands!) and then the doll got a reward! The book tells you to emphasize the goal of "staying dry". when the doll got a reward, my daughter wanted to get into her underpants too! we stayed in a tiled portion of our house for a few days (was very trying). at first, she had LOTS of accidents! I thought, is she not ready? but i kept with it. a friend told me that her method said to just put them on the potty when they would start going, and if they got anything in the potty, they get a reward. i would ask her to check her pants every once in a while to see if she was still clean and dry, and then she would get a reward too. the reward was small... one m&m, two if she went on the potty. keep it small, you'll be rewarding often. the trick is -- NO DIAPERS, NO PULL UPS!. once you start you have to stick with it, so make sure you don't have any plans for several days. after a few days, my daughter was telling me she had to go. i had to ask her a MILLION times at first, and i could see that she had to go, but soon she was telling me.

Becoming Toddlerwise said to put the child on teh potty at regular intervals, but my daughter did NOT like being asked to sit when she didn't have to go, so I liked the method of waiting til she had to go. it think it helps them to recognize when they have to go, rather than coincidentally going because they are sitting there.

one more thing...the more he has to go, the more practice he has, so load him up with yummy drinks like juice, choc milk (it's only for a few days).

this was a very difficult few weeks for us, just because of staying home so much and it being so much time spent in one place but it was worth it! just remember to make it fun, and exciting with no struggles! let him pick out his own underpants and talk it up for a few days before starting.

good luck!

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M.G.

answers from Detroit on

2 and 1/2 is very young to start! Don't be surprised if he thinks the idea is fun for awhile and then the novelty wears off. Have lots of patience and don't force it. Boys seem to be way harder to train than girls. I tried my best with my son but he just wasn't ready until he was about 3 1/2! Good luck! In the end it won't be the books that help as much as finding what works for you. The less "gimmicks" the better for us. We just had to remind him often to try to go and he eventually caught on!

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K.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hi! We had GREAT success (with 2 kids..boy and girl) with special Potty Training videos and a special 'potty'.

My little ones absolutely LOVED to sit on their little potty chair (we got the one-piece ergonomically correct potty chair...but any potty will do!) and watch the following videos:

1. It's Potty Time (available for him/her)
2. Elmo's Potty Time
3. Bear In The Big Blue House Potty Time

All of these are GREAT vids and really get the kids excited that 'they can do it too'! Good luck.

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B.B.

answers from Detroit on

Boys do tend to be 3 when they "get it"... But some kids are ready at 2... If you feel like trying go ahead.
Stay flexible. If its not working consistently after a week or you are getting stressed out by it then take him off the training schedule.

My now 5 yr old almost had me having a breakdown. Hubby wanted him trained by his 3rd b-day. (Our daughter trained at 2) But he just wasn't ready. After a few days I told hubby that if he wanted it done to do it himself. He tried one weekend and then backed up my laid back way of handling it.
Now our 3rd child (boy) is gonna be 3 in april. He will not tell us when he's gotta go, but after he goes he LOVES sitting on the potty. One time he did go poops on the potty but it was more of a I caught him in the middle and put him on. He has not peed yet. I'm not stressed about it and am just thankful that he's showing an interest in getting started.
Is he TELLING you he has to go? That is a HUGE part of telling if he's ready. If he's not telling, its really hard for us moms to guess with total accuracy.

Good luck and stock up on tea bags for hot tea. You will need to realax at times. :-)

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K.T.

answers from Detroit on

We had these teeny Pooh stickers that we put on the toilet tank when he went on his potty chair. Also, we asked what he really, really wanted and he could have it when he got potty trained. It gave him a goal to work for....in the end he got his favorite train.....and big boy Thomas underwear. He felt a real sense of accomplishment.
We had him "awake trained" before he was three....the trick is the nap and night-time training....he wasn't physically ready until a month after he turned 5 to completely have control. We used pull-ups at night most nights and still had quite a few times where the bed was wet in the morning. Totally not his fault....his body wasn't developed enough to hold it.

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G.B.

answers from Detroit on

Most boys aren't ready until between ages 3 & 4, but they can start out and sometimes they like it and complete it. Whatever you do, don't make a battle out of it. At this age, that only escalates your problems! Relax and make it low-stress.

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D.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

melissa; first of all i dont think your son is a late bloomer, most parents try to potty train at 2 and i think you are doing a great job so far, keep up the good work, i had 3 boys and each of them i started around age 2 to potty train, however each of them did pretty well but they never got the poop down till around age 4, did they get it mastered, so keep your patience and wits about you and take your time, although too, ive heard of kids getting it down in one weekend which ive heard there is a book out there on that, so it can be done, my children are late teens now and that book was not published then, i had a freind who had it and swore by it and it worked great for her kids, it tells you to put the potty in the kitchen where you are, and it also tells you to reward the child like every ten minutes to half hour with like one m and m and you say are you dry? and they check themselves, and they say yes, and you give them one m and m, thats all i know of the book, but she says it works well, if you got the one weekend to teach them, just remember each kid is different what may work for one does not work for another, keep smiling and continue doing as you do, it sounds like you got it covered, keep your patience, and things will be fine, sounds like you are off to a great start, dont feel that he is late, sounds like he is doing great to me, D. s

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B.S.

answers from Detroit on

Hi Melissa!

We are currently potty training my 3.5 year old (so your son is NOT taking his time, haha! ;). And my best advice to you is....let the child lead! I tried to force my son this summer (pregnant with 3rd, was hoping to avoid 3 in diapers!), and he flat out refused to have anything to do with the whole deal - and we all ended up frustrated.
What worked best for us, was to praise all of the efforts, even just for trying to go. If he refuses, you're right in not pushing the issue!
We also went straight to big boy underwear - pull ups and anything of the sort was too much like a diaper. He hated the feeling of being wet in his clothes, so he learned to go on the potty. One Saturday, I just devoted my entire day to helping him learn - I called it my "potty training boot camp". Fed him water and pretzels all day long, and set the kitchen timer for every 20-30 minutes, depending on when he last went, and he picked it up quickly.

Just do your best, you will both learn the process of what works best for you, together.
I promise - he will not be in diapers forever (even if it truly seems like it some days!)

Warmly,
B.

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M.W.

answers from Kalamazoo on

I would recommend to you the www.3daypottytraining.com method. It worked for us when other things wouldn't. Its a $25 charge for her e book and then she offers online support when you run into challenges (which we never needed since her book covers most everything).

Best wishes, you can do this!!!!

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