Potty Training Regression - Beaverton,OR

Grin and bear it and stick it out.

My guess is (like my son), potty training was interesting while she was learning, and it made her feel like a big girl. Now that she's got it down pat, it is boring, and she is much too busy doing other things to stop and go potty.

Two suggestions. One, buy both fun character panties and boring white panties. Tell her that the princesses, or fairies, or whatever don't like to be peed on, so she'll have to wear the plain white ones only until she can be sure to not pee in them. Give her incentive to make sure she stays dry. Also, set a continuing timer for every 45 minutes or 60 minutes and make her go potty every time the timer goes off whether she needs to or not. When my son complains that he doesn't need to go, I ask him "Did you wet your pants before?" he says yes and I reply "then it is my turn to decide when you have to go potty". He complies, and is so excited when he actually goes because he didn't think he had to.
Frequently, I will catch my son doing the potty wiggle and ask if he needs to go potty. He tells me no, both because he hasn't acknowledged it to himself yet, and because he doesn't want to stop playing. I tell him I can hear his pee. I pretend to listen hard and then tell him they want to come out. I tell him to run to the bathroom before they decide to come out in his undies. He thinks this is a fun game and almost believes I can hear his pee talk.

Whatever you do, just get creative and make it fun again.

Please don't put her back in pull-ups -- that would be saying with your body language ( KIDS ALWAYS PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT WE DO -- ALWAYS) -- that she can't use the toilet. You know she can-- so tough as it is - try to ride out the detour - try without being punitive to make it inconvenient for HER -that you have all this extra work to do - and hang in there -- yes- it often occurs that children detour - they get a new skill and then want to see what happens if they put it down -- . ''Golly, little one- I'd LOVE to make cookies with you but I have ALLLLLL these wet things to wash and dry and put away--- sigh -- maybe tomorrow things will stay dry and we can make cookies''' ----

Blessings- J. - aka- Old Mom

I potty trained my twins at 28 months in 3 days using the online book from Lora Jensen. It was a ton of work, but totally worth it because I had two 2 year olds completely potty trained after just a couple of days. She has some GREAT advice and methods to use with kids that have regressed. Thankfully I haven't had to deal with that, but if it does crop up I know I'd be turning to those tips straight away.
You can check out her website to see if you like it: http://www.3daypottytraining.com/

It may be just a phase...my sons both regressed and a good friends daughter had regressed (peeing at night in the bed) well after being potty trained. they all happened around the same age...I was worried because my son was still peeing in bed up until about a month ago (he is now 9)

But have hope, I have consistently heard that girls are way easier. When I was little my mother told me that "we don't want to get our 'big girls' pants dirty" and it apparently worked! I wish it had been that easy with my boys!

I wish you luck and patience.

I know that this can be normal. But, if it continues, you might want to have a urine test done, just to make sure she does not have a urinary tract infection.

My daughter has been potty trained for a few months now, but, like yours, she was a bit younger when we started working on it. (She has been in big-girl pants since about 21 months of age.) I think, because of this, we saw periods of regression followed by strides forward. After a few weeks of 'perfect' performance, she'd have a bad week. That was usually followed by some step forward. When her interest has been caught by other things (like when she and her friend starting putting diapers on their baby dolls, or when she wasn't napping well and getting bored at naps, or when her friend wasn't yet trained and didn't have to take a potty-break) we've seen temporary regressions.

My best guess is that some regression is natural, especially with these younger kids who don't necessarily have skills to handle every aspect of being a perfect potty user. In other words, it just takes time, as frustrating as that is.

My daughter started removing her diaper at naps when she needed to eliminate something. Her friend did the same thing, a few months later. It seemed to correspond with being awake enough to start noticing the diaper, often from peeing in the diaper before really soundly asleep. In other words - it preceded a step in recognizing something about how their body was working. My daughter wore jammies backwards (so she couldn't reach the zipper to take them off) at naps for a while, and we've worked a lot on having her get up to get to the potty if she has wet pants.

At any rate, with our daughter, we have her help us clean up any accidents she makes. And i have had her 'practice' getting to the potty. Then, even today, we praise her if she has a particularly good performance I also keep clothes and a couple of diapers in the car - the same ones have been in there for a few months now, but, at least i know they are there if we need them. I honestly don't know which of these things have really worked, and how much of it is just time, but, she is doing really well right now.

Oh, yeah, i wouldn't go back to diapers. My friends who have done this have faced much longer time periods until the problems sort themselves out - i think perhaps kids don't really get the inconsistent message.

N.,

I've worked with toddlers for 16 years, and as a parent coach the toddler years is one of my specialities.

There are a few things going on. Normally, your daughter would be a little young to be fully potty trained, it seems you got lucky, and she's there! I think you're facing two issues of todderhood.

1) Toddlers often switched between being a "big kid" and a "baby" becaues they are still between those stages. Sometimes life is too rough, so they go back to their fall back, baby ways. She may be feeling overwhelmed by something, it could be in her enviroment or possibly a growth spurt(her body using so much energy to grow, there is little left for other skills), what ever it is, I think she has regressed to her "safe" zone.

2) Another option could be, going potty is hard work. You have to stop playing, go into the bathroom, pull off your clothes and then WASH YOUR HANDS!!! Wow, or she could pee in her diaper/panties. It's also no longer a lot of fun. She may no longer be receiving treats for pottying.

To address the first issues, just give her support and praise for being a big girl. For the second, talk about all the great things she can do as a big girl. Maybe create a goal, X days dry and she can to a big girl thing.

I'm not sure if she likes to swim, but you could talk about going swimming like a big girl, with a real big girl swim suit, but only if you potty in the toilet.

Good luck, toddlers are a lot of fun = )

R. Magby

In what you wrote about the potty training, you said that there were no changes. Then in your "about me" it said that your oldest just started school. That is not only a change, but a big change.
I had one of my kids be 100% potty trained (age 3), then not only took a few steps back, but went all the way back. If I saw that he needed to go potty and I sent him into the bathroom, I checked in on him and he'd be in the bathroom closet messing on the floor. I eventually took someones advice and just figured that I was going to be in potty training mode until he went to school (age 5). I don't remember how long it took, but it was less than 3 months before he was back to being all potty trained again.
When they are all grown up (and potty trained) they will probably not remember being potty trained, but they will remember kindness & patience.
Good Luck!

I like the idea about fancy and plain undies. :)

Once my son trained, I never went back to pullups. If he had an accident we stopped what we were doing and did not go back to it, like if we were at the park we had to go home to get dry pants, and did not get to go back to the park. I never yelled at him or punished him further, but you can not play at the park in wet pants!

Most of the moms I've talked to, as well as some books I've read, all mention potty training regression happening before the age of 3. I had come to the conclusion on my own that 'perfect' potty training was highly unlikely to occur before 3 years of age!

Don't put her back in diapers!!!!!

It's fairly normal for this to happen. You just need to keep working through it patiently. (Believe me, I know just how hard it is to keep your cool when cleaning up pee for the fifth time in a day!!!)

I would say go back to how you started - take her to the bathroom yourself and praise her for going on the toilet. As for accidents, I know there is a lot of talk about shaming a kid and causing problems with going to the bathroom if you discipline them, but I've used the method from my mom/grandma of taking off the peed-in clothes and telling the child "No" in a very firm voice and explaining that it's not okay to pee in the clothing and they are big enough to go on the toilet. Followed by a reminder to use the toilet, a "Can you do it?" question, and then a big hug to reassure them that you love them and know that they can do it.

But don't give up or you'll be changing diapers into Kindergarten!