Potty Training Question - Appleton,WI

Updated on December 16, 2008
K.K. asks from Appleton, WI
8 answers

My boyfriend has asked my help regarding his 3 year old son's potty training. As my son is only 9 months old I have not been of much assitance to him. Basically his son is about 3 1/2 yrs old and is in the process of potty training now. He has been peeing fine on the potty but continues to poop in his pull up. I told him to try putting him in big boy underwear thinking he may not like the feeling of pooping in those and that did not work. According to his ex he poops and pees just fine. They currently split time week on week off. I suggested awards of some sort. That has not worked either. I have read plenty that says kids will go when ready, don't get upset if they have an accident, etc. I know he is frustrated as his ex tells him he does just fine at her house. Any advice would be great. Thanks.

Additional information - My BF may not be trying some of the ideas that I have offered. He may try them for a couple of days and give up. I know he is frustrated. So even a suggestion on how long would help too. So far great responses.

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answers from Janesville-Beloit on

We are going through the same thing with my son now. He is finally starting to go poop in the toilet, though most times it is when we catch him squatting down in another room. So far he has gone poop for my husband and our daycare provider, but not for me. I know how frustrating it is and I just encourage you (and your boyfriend) to be patient. It will come.



answers from Minneapolis on

If the boy really is pooping in the toilet at his mother's house, there's a good chance he is testing/controlling your boyfriend.

I would make pooping a "non-issue". Ask him throughout the day if he has to poop, but don't reward him when he does, and don't punish him when he has an accident.

I would say throw the pull-ups in the trash (use them at night if needed, of course). Put him in big boy underwear, and have HIM clean up after himself, dumping the poop in the toilet and rinsing out his underwear. You said "it didn't work", but if your BF sticks to it, it will. Sooner or later the boy will poop in front of someone or in a public place, and that will be the end of it.



answers from Sheboygan on

Same issue with my 3.5 year old (except he don't poop fo' NOBODY!!). It can be very very frustrating.
That said, I'm gonna call "bullpoopy" on Mom---I think that SHE'S the one who's trained, and puts the little guy on the potty when she's expecting him to go. I don't believe that a trained boy would be acting untrained when he goes to Dad's house. Generally speaking, once kids are trained (100% trained), they won't go back into pullups or anything else for all the candy in the world. I think what we've got here is a half-trained boy, and Dad is gonna have to bite the bullet and ask his ex what she's doing (what SHE'S DOING)to get him past the finish line. Get specific times that she puts him on the potty, the same toys/motivations etc. Use the same vernacular, everything. Consistency and time (from the first sit down on the new potty, to the point where you don't have to wipe their butt or even check to see if they wiped their butt, can take at least a year!). FYI, I managed to train my 5 year old just fine, but I'm having a heck of a time with my 3.5 year old, so take my advice with a grain of salt. I'm reading your responses too!



answers from Minneapolis on

My oldest son was a later potty trainer (3 1/2, for both poop and pee), and I was getting frustrated because I didn't know how to help more. Then I found "Toilet Training Without Tears," and it was a lifesaver. The big thing that he suggests is a chart (I have several versions of charts and can email them to you if you like). So I would post a chart in the bathroom and kept track of when he had wet or dirty diapers. As time went on, we also tracked trips to the potty and whether anything happened, as well as any accidents. It helped me to see that he was making progress (looking back over several weeks' worth of charts to see he was making progress) but also I could see his elimination patterns. Then I could get him on the toilet at those times.

So I would suggest keeping track of when he poops (I found having an actual chart in the bathroom helpful) and then encouraging him to try at those times. Make it no pressure but just time, like "Okay, let's go see if it's time for you to poop." And then if nothing happens on the toilet or if he has an accident, say that's okay and you'll try again in a while. I don't know exactly how long to try a given approach, but with the charts, I'd say give it 2-3 weeks so you can look over a few weeks' worth of charts and see if you're making progress. Good luck!



answers from Davenport on

hi K.,
I have a daycare I run out of my home. I have helped potty train lots of kids. what I have found works best is a little bribery!!! we give the kids one m&m if they pee on the toilet and 5 m&m's if they poop on the toilet!!! I gotta tell you, some kids will do it right away, some may take a week or 2. Your one big obsticle may be the week on week off!! consistancy is a really important thing! also try and keep track of when he poops his pants. most kids will do it around the same time every day. try and get him on the toilet at that time!! good luck



answers from Sheboygan on

I am a mother of two children aged 5 and 2 and am married for 5years 10 months to the best person in teh whole of humanity.

Potty training and toilet training to my children was given my mother. It is a difficult in the beginning for the parenst but children slowly learn to it and become perfect.

We need to take them to the toilet say every two to three hours and tell them that this is the place that they have to .

Even if they need to pee or not we need to take them at fixed intervals. Though hard slowly the kids get used to it and they stop peeing in the pants or else where..

Please try it and see.





answers from Davenport on

I agree with Cassandra. Maybe your boyfriend shows his frustration, causing a little bit of a set back. Another thing, is he on a regular schedule, not just bathroom schedule. My son has a regular nightime routine, which really helped us with the potty issue.



answers from Minneapolis on

Just wanted to say I am having the same problem with my son! Peeing but not pooping on potty. I feel for your boyfriend as it can be really frustrating. What worked for my daughter finally was I bought a toy she really liked and kept it on a high shelf and said she could get it when she pooped on the potty. She pooped that night!! Had I known that would work I would have done it earlier. I may resort to that with my son if nothing else works! :) Good luck and try to be patient....he will do it soon.

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