Potty Training My 3 Year Old - Mineral Wells,TX

Updated on June 10, 2008
T.A. asks from Mineral Wells, TX
13 answers

I hope someone can help me out. I am trying to potty train my 3 year old. He knows where he needs to go potty, he just doesn't go unless I remind him. He either doesn't feel the urge or doesn't know that urge means to go potty. If I tell him to go potty sometimes he gets crabby and tells me no, but if I keep after him he will go. He knows what he is doing. I have tried rewarding him with a car when he goes in the potty and taking a car away when he goes in his pants. Does anyone have any other suggestions, I feel that he is ready, but he just doesn't want to break away from playing to go. His older sisters pretty much potty trained themselves so this seems like new territory for me. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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U.A.

answers from Dallas on

My 3 1/2 year old is exactly the same. They say girls are easier to train, but not mine. I don't know what to do either. You're not alone!

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M.W.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, As it was stated before, Boys are hard to potty train and will not do it until they are ready. I bought my son the Elmo's potty time video ($10 at walmart) and let him watch it a few times. He would tell me "No, I like my diapers, Mama." Eventually, after watching the potty time video, decided he would like to try underwear like the kids on the video. I sat him down and explained to him that he HAD to go potty and could not go in his underwear. He told me he understood and since that day (nov.07) he has had 3 accidents.
My advice is encourage it, but don't push it. The more stressful it gets, the harder it is. My son was over 3 before he decided it was time. Once they are ready, it will go smoothly.
Good luck!!

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C.A.

answers from Dallas on

I did not use pullups or training pants. I wanted my son to know he was wet. I wanted him to associate the feeling with the result. I limited his drinks meaning I wouldn't give him an 8 ounce cup of juice right before bedtime or before going out. I would take him to the potty every 30 minutes to every hour. As well, I would drink when he drank so that when I had to potty I knew he had to potty.

For my daughter we taped a poster board on the bathroom mirror. We made a chart for the month. Everytime she went potty she put a sticker on the day. She is stubborn so it didn't really work for her. But she loved the stickers.

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S.W.

answers from Dallas on

I had the same problem when my son was 3. He's a very "spirited" child and thinks he has an option to refuse to be told what to do. We tried discipline, rewards, anything and everything. If he would get mad because I told him no to something, he would look at me and pee in his pants. And this would be five minutes after we sat on the potty. Also, it didn't seem to bother him to pee all over himself. He would just walk around in wet pants until I made him go change his clothes. Most people don't understand how frustrating this process can be with a strong willed child.

I set the timer too for every 15, then 30 minutes. Eventually, he got tired of being interrupted to have to go sit on the potty. Unfortunately, it was months (not days or even weeks) before gave in to reality.

Just keep plugging away, one day he will wake up and decide that he needs to be a big boy. You might need to put yourself in time out occasionally, it kept me from wanting to lock my son in his room forever! I'm ashamed to admit, but it also made him feel guilty for making mommy feel bad and not doing what he knew he could do.

Good Luck.

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H.W.

answers from Dallas on

When I was training my little guy I set a timer for every 30 minutes and when it went off he knew he had to sit on the potty. As time went by and I knew he could hold his bladder a little longer and he was dry for a longer period of time I set the time for 45 minutes, etc. I also put a sticker chart up beside the potty and he got to put a sticker on each time he went. Even if he didn't go potty...he still went and sat on the potty. Eventually, what really made the biggest difference is teaching him how to stand up and potty. I am not sure why but once he started to stand up instead of sitting on the potty he never had an accident again.

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K.P.

answers from Dallas on

Hi, I don't know if this will work for your boy, but it worked for my girl. I know several little boys and their mommy's that are going through the same thing. What I did was I bought a nice $10 toy. Then I went to Dollar Tree and a dollar store that is in the Parks Mall in Arlington. I bought many $1 toys, stickers, notpads and books. I probalby spent $30. I then put as many of the toys that would fit inside a colorful trash can (a box or basket would be easier). I also bought many stickers and tiny baby M$M's for rewards. I then stayed home with my girl for three days straight. We didn't leave the house at all. All we did was potty training. I tried the timer for the first two days, but it was even h*** o* me and she didn't need to go most of the time. I found out though, that she goes aobut every 2 hours! I fed her sugar free soda, juice, lemon water, tea, milk, chocolate milk, strawberry milk....whatever liquid is a treat. We usually just drink a little juice in the morning, milk at meals, and water the rest of the time. This way she had to go more often. Anyway, anytime she did pee pee in the potty, she would get a sticker and a few small M&M's. Everytime I sat her on the potty I went on and on about getting a new toy if she goes poo poo. She wanted a toy badly and she knew where they were. I had them up on top of the refridgerator so there would be no chance of getting them. She tried throwing a tantrum for the toys occasionally, and I'd just reminded her that she could have one if she went poo poo on the potty. The first time she went poop in the potty, I gave her the big $10 toy. That got her hooked. She was so proud of herself for going and getting a nice reward. Then, anytime after that, she got the $1 toys. Now, I was really worried about her expecting a toy everytime she went for the rest of her life! It was funny, she just kind of got tired of it or was too busy to get a toy or sticker because it had become a habit to go. One day, to much relief, she just pee pee'd in the potty and didn't ask for any M&M's. It took about 3 weeks, but then she was done with the candy and stickers. The toys box is still on the fridge and she goes without asking for one. (Much to my amazement) Occasionally though, she will ask for a toy when she goes by herself or does something else she knows is really good. She was easy, like I hear most girls are. We were basically done in about 4 days. I know it is different for boys, but maybe the toy thing will work. $40 dollars for rewards was worth it and cheap compared to all the money I'd be saving in pullups, wipes and my sanity!

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C.J.

answers from Dallas on

You did not mention if he was wearing underwear or pull-ups. If he is in underwear then I think the timer is a great idea. If you still have him in pull-ups then switch him over to underwear only and do go back. He will eventually start going on his own once he pees on himself over and over again for a couple of days. I did that with my daughter and she was trained in 3 days. Good luck!!

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S.M.

answers from Dallas on

Boys don't potty train until they're ready - most around 4. Don't push yourself it will only cause frustration for you and him.

Boys are single track thinkers and right now their hot wheels, bats, and balls are WAY more important than sitting still on the potty.

Just like all the other monumental stuff he's already done, he'll accomplish this when he's ready.

We're playing with cheerios and tissue paper cutouts floating in the potty with our (almost) 3 year old - but not with any seriousness. He aims at them and plays, but its not consistent and right now that's okay.

R.B.

answers from Dallas on

Hi-
I feel for you. I don't know if I have any words of wisdom except to say, I was in the same boat. I don't have any girls, but I do know that my friends with girls had no problem potty training. I felt like such a horrible mom because my son was having such a hard time.
We tried everything, as well. I am just convinced that some kids really can't tell or don't understand the feeling (the urge to go). Even now, my son RUNS to the potty because it's down to the last "critical" moment- and he is almost 6. And, we still don't have dry nights.
I finally just decided to just keep working on it everyday and not beat myself up about it.
Good luck and it sounds like you are doing everything you need to be doing. :)
R.

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S.H.

answers from Dallas on

Our boys (twins) were probably 3 1/2 when they finally "got it" -- but they definitely had to decide for themselves. We set up a reward system using stickers, and when they pottied successfully they got a sticker. 10 stickers earned a little toy (mostly cars). One son got WAY more cars than the other...we finally had to make a "big" reward for him, so he could earn a case for them! The thing was, our car-boy was very, very motivated by that reward and then our other son just would not do it until he wanted to, period.

It was frustrating (and messy sometimes) but we did learn that they'll do these things when they are ready, not when we are. That's been true for a lot of their milestones. Just recently they decided to sleep without a pull-up and it was their idea, and they're doing great. We didn't think they were ready--wrong, Mommy! :)

Good luck--he'll get there.

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C.F.

answers from Dallas on

Have you tried a timer? During the day, we'd use a timer and set it at intervals and whenever it went off, we'd head to the potty. It worked great and took the burden off of me having to ask him if he had to go or not. I wonder about taking things away if he has accidents. That might create some anxiety or fear around toileting and that may not work in his favor. Another option is to ask him what he'd like to have to celebrate being able to use the potty. Then, you can use a sticker chart so that every time he went, he got a sticker and then when the page was full he could go get his special gift to celebrate. Good luck and from what I heard, boys just take longer.

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D.C.

answers from Dallas on

He just may not be ready. Boys are so different than girls. I tried a reward system. With a handfull of M&M's or a hard candy. You can also work on aiming with cherios. My boys did better in underwear so they new when they wet and they could learn what the urge felt like.

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J.H.

answers from Amarillo on

They don't like to quit playing, but if you suggest, take him instead of telling and sit with him a minute, or if it is (pooopie) have him sit on his little potty chair with a book. it just takes time and patience. I had two boys and two girls. One boy took a lot longer.

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