Potty Training Issue/Stalling

You've gotten some good advice (although didn't read it all). Another thing to work on is practice pulling his underwear up and down. Part of the problem my son had once we were transitioning to just underwear was that he couldn't pull them down by himself.

My daughter was having similar issues. She was perfectly potty trained EVERYWHERE, except at home. She was even staying dry at night. We could leave the house for 12 hours and no accidents. Then we would get home and have four accidents in a row. It was frustrating to say the least. I'd ask her if she had to go and she'd say "No" and less than a minute later we are cleaning up a pee accident. So I stopped asking her if she needed to go and changed the language to "It's potty time. We need to try and put some pee pee in the potty." Yes she argued and tried to tell me no, but I was firm that we would be trying. My SIL (who's children always seemed to train so darn fast) said she read somewhere to change the language. Instead of asking if you need to go potty say "Tell me when you need to go potty". It gives the power to the child. I started this last Monday with "mandatory" potty tried and changing my language and we haven't had an accident since then. Not one. I stopped the mandatory potty time last Friday and she has told us every time she needed to go.

My other suggestion would be to get rid of the diapers completely. I put those waterproof diaper changing lap pads on the car seat to protect that. I also kept a tea towel and change of clothes in my purse and another set in the car, just in case. We only have had one accident while out and about and it really wasn't that big of a deal. Diapers and pull ups were just "permission" for my kids to pee on themselves.

And if you find yourself getting overly frustrated take a break with the potty training. Someone gave me that advice with my son and I balked at the idea. Then one afternoon I realized that pee was making me really angry and that it was ridiculous. So we went back to pull ups and stopped training. If he asked to go, I took him. But I no longer hounded him or worried about it. A month, maybe two, later I went back to it. I was much calmer and he was more mature. He was trained in three days. GL Mama!!!

If you choose to keep him in underpants, do not *ask* him if he needs to go, but take him every hour or so. If you ask, they will usually say no, because they're busy.

What happens when he wets? I'm all for making it the child's mess to deal with. In my home and at preschool, I'm all about letting them change their mess as much as possible. Pee: they can have their dry clothes brought to the bathroom. Put a towel over the stool and leave them to change their clothes. When they're done, bring a plastic bag for them to put the wet clothes into. IF the child is soaked, have them undress, help them clean up, and then let them dry and dress themselves. This is because we don't want to make cleanup a bonding time. We don't have to get mad, just impart that this is *their* job to take care of it.

When the clothes are soiled, you will have to help more, but let the child do as much as possible for themselves.

The natural reward for getting to the toilet on time is staying dry. I wouldn't try anything else, personally.

You can also decide to take a break for a few months, until he's showing interest. Ultimately, toileting is each child's own challenge to master. They'll only 'get it' when they get it. Be patient and good luck!

Oh, and lastly, I'm going to include a link to a good site. They've got a great list of Assessment Readiness that you can glance at. If he's not meeting some of the criteria, he may just not be ready.

http://www.betterkidcare.psu.edu/AngelUnits/OneHour/Toile...

He's not ready for the next step.
He will do it when he is ready.
We did that with my son too. My son was already about 3 years old.
We kept him naked on the bottom at home.

Then when HE was ready for underwear (I used Potty Scotty's with my son and love it), then HE was ready.
I went by his cues.

Don't rush it.
They can't control their body yet. Nor on cue.

Until my son was ready, he went out in diapers too.
No biggie.
They do NOT get 'confused.' I simply explained to my son, when his BODY is ready, then he uses underwear and can go out, without a diaper. It is in stages.

I just went by my son's cues and his biological, attainment.

Please remember, that even if a child IS potty trained, they DO have accidents. It is childhood.
I know of no child, that has not had accidents.

My daughter, even at 5-6 years old, had accidents.
Even at 7 years old, she had night time accidents.
Its no biggie.
It is BIOLOGICAL development of the brain/bladder/nerve development.

ALL of my daughter's Teachers, from Preschool to Kindergarten to 1st Grade, ALL said that kids these ages have accidents and even on field trips. It happens.

Night time dryness... is also something NOT biologically attained, until even 7 years old. Night time diapers are still used then. No biggie.
The child does not get confused.
My son is 4, almost 5 and he still wears diapers for night time and naps. I just explain that his body is not ready yet, to be dry when sleeping. But during the day he IS potty trained.
Normal.

Ditto to what Hazel W. said, I would only be repeating the exact same advice : )

Ya gotta get him used to the bottoms at home. Then transfer the behavior to social outtings. Just set aside money for carpet cleaning.

I am potty training 3 girls at once. 1 of them has a similar issue. I remind her (when she has her bottoms on) that she is wearing bottoms, if she pees or poops she will soil herself and make a yucky mess. If/when it happens I empathetically say "Oh no!! You pottied in your pants!! Ew! Let's clean up the mess!" then we clean her up. She's getting it more and more each day. She doesn't enjoy it when she messes herself. Make sure the bottoms are baggy so if there is an accident it has maximum "ick" effect- what I mean by that is- he WILL feel it when it happens. Also, REMIND REMIND REMIND every 15 minutes when clothes are on. Just remember it's a learning experience for him- and for you! Be kind, patient, and gentle in the reminders. He'll get it.

When he's mastered pants at home slowly transfer the behavior to going out places and PLAN for mistakes! =D

Best wishes!

He is still really young to be potty trained anyway. Put a pull up on him and go do your errands. Leave the pants off at home this Summer and when Fall hits he'll be 3 and then maybe mature enough mentally.

K. - Your boy needs to see Dad pull down his pants and sit on the pot. That will complete the protocol for him. He knows what to do when his bottom is bare. He just doesn't know what big boys do to get bare bottoms.

Both my boys were like this. This is embarrassing but one of my boys wasn't even fully trained until he was 4, the other was just 3, but once they were ready, they were done, even during the night.

With one, I put him in underwear, but also the vinyl cover in case of an accident. It helped a little bit.