Potty Training - How Long on Potty Each Time?

Hi there.

We've been practicing Elimination Communication with our daughter since she was 5 months old. We will be going into full blown potty learning very soon. (I'm having some minor surgery this week and am doing it as soon as I'm recovered) She is just 18 months, but definetely ready.

Oh, and Elmination Communication is just merely helping your child maintain their body awareness of when they are 'going'. It's not expecting your infant to use the toilet every time.

Ok... so what I've done and will do but in a much more concerted and diligent effort once we are into full blown potty learning is this :

Your child will have some sort of 'schedule' of when she needs to go pee and poo. I find my daughter has to pee more in the morning. She also typically poos in the afternoon/evening. Spend a day or so and really pay attention to the schedule. Also, look for little clues that she has to go. For us, my daughter gets very still and gets far away look. When she poos she squats and grunts. Very noticable.

Also, think about times when she most likely has to go .... waking up in the morning, before nap, waking up from nap, before bed or maybe 15-20 minutes after she's had something to drink. Put her on the potty then.

Sometimes kids need a little help relaxing and just letting it go. We will sing songs or read a short story... make potty time fun. Typically if your child doesn't go in the first 5-8 minutes, then either they just can't relax enough, or they don't have to go. That's ok. Try again later.

The key is getting that body awareness of THIS is what it feels like when I go pee or poo. Be excited. Ask her often through the day whether she has to go pee or not... or if she just wants to try. If it has been awhile and her diaper is dry ... then encourage her to just try anyway.

I do plan on having a few 'naked' days...where there is no diaper to make it easier. Sure there is a chance that we will have some accidents. But, my plan is to make sure I am really just focused on my daughter that day ... no computer time, cleaning is done, etc.... and we will go to the potty often.

I strongly believe potty should be in the bathroom. 5-8 mintues for each try. If they don't have to go, then you can't force it. That's not what potty learning is about. It's about getting them tuned into that sensation of needing to go and what that feels like and then following the appropriate action.

So...those are my suggestions. Like I said, we've been practicing elmination communication since my daughter was 5 months old. She is definitely ready for full blown potty learning. She can go several hours with a dry diaper, wakes up from naps dry, and will tell me when she has to go toilet. I really don't want her to be confused by having a diaper and using the toilet. I have several other friends who have used this method as well... and their children were completely potty trained around 18-20 months as well.

Listen to your daughter.... watch for her cues .... make it fun. You'll get there. Good luck!

Since we didnt' use potty chairs, we instead used a smaller seat on a toilet, I didn't leave them sitting on a potty chair in front of the TV with a book all day. I had my kids watch me as an example, and I talked through each action (Uh-oh, Mommy's got to go potty. First Mommy pulls down her pants, then I have to sit on the potty. OH- hear that? Mommy's going Pee-pee! Yeah! ... you get the drift) so they understood that it sonething you do and be done with, not an all day event.

My daughter was so regular with #2 that it was easy to see that about half hour after breakfast she was going to have to go #2. I'd watch for her cues- she'd sit in her chair in the playroom and regardless of what she was doing, she'd start looking for her blanket, then she'd head for the kitchen for some reason. Once I saw that routine, I'd ask if she was going to go poo-poo and she'd say yes. I'd ask (not tell) her if she wanted to go on the potty seat and get a sticker when she was done. Then we'd simply head to the bathroom and the deed was done. Once a day, every morning, like clock work!

I realize not all kids are easy that way - she has a twin brother that could care less. His "Regular" time was right before bed most nights, sometimes in the early morning as he'd awake with a fill diaper. Not nearly as predictable as his sister. He eventually "got it" though.

Whatever you do, be calm and don't stress about it. It always seems to happen on their time schedule, not mom and dad's. And if your child feels as if she's actually in control of the situation, it happens faster and with so much less stress. Gives them a sense of accomplishment and pride knowing that they did it on their own (with a ton of help and support from mom and dad of course but they don't see it that way!)

Good luck!

She is still little so I would do know longer than a couple of minutes. Even if she doesnt go, she is still getting used to the potty. The thing I learned with my oldest daughter is don't push her, I did and it took alot longer. She will let you know when she is ready, but definately try. Make a big deal of her sitting on the potty, and let her watch you, I learned that helps.

My daughter turned 2 in December and she sits on the potty probably 6 times a day. She doesn't always go. I've been told not to push this and to not nag her about it since it will be counter productive. Some days she will sit and go right away and other days it takes a few minutes and still some days she sits there for 2 seconds and says "All Done" but hasn't gone.

I would say if she hasn't gone in a few minutes to take her off and try again in a little bit. Hope this helps.

I am sure you will get several different responses - so do what works best for you.

I just potty trained my son this weekend using the 3 day method. This method does not require you to make your child sit on the potty for extended lengths - if you don't have to go you don't have to go.
Always leave the "control" in your childs camp - tell them "let mommy/daddy know when you have to potty". Repeat it, repeat it, repeat it. If you ask them if they have to go, most of the time they will say no. If you see her starting to go - take her to the potty to finish.
Always praise - never yell. That will just scare her. Going poop can be difficult for many reasons - constipation, scared, hurts. It may/will take some time.

I highly recommend checking out a few books from the library and find one that works for you. By no means is my son fully trained after 3 days - but he now knows the signals that tell him he has to pee. I am sure we will have many accidents, but that is fine.

Good Luck

A great book to share with her is The Potty Book for Girls. There is also a counterpart book for boys. Very cute read and the story is told from a child's point of view. Good luck!