Potty Training HELP!!! - Orland Park,IL

I am copying and pasting my own reply to a similar question.....
Additional note...I offer one M&M when they are successful...not just for "trying" but for actually pee or poo. We do this for several weeks till I start "forgetting" and they do too....As explanation to my other daycare children...it is so-and-so's Potty Time right now (thats why they get a treat..it has to be special for so-and-so...only they get the treat)

Try the Lora Jenson ebook "3 day potty training method"
http://www.3daypottytraining.com/

I do home childcare and had a parent approach me last year with this for her then 28 mos old son who had never ever gone potty in a seat or toilet before. We decided to go for it..she was willing and I was willing to support the outcome of thier long weekend. She said it was like boot camp and she waged the war!

You toss ALL diapers or Pull ups (I hate those things)...so no crutches! You have meals ready, casseroles or frozen pizzas and waffles, etc. No errands to do or yardwork or big house cleaning. You stay a few feet from your child for the 3 days (some have needed 4). You DO NOT make your child sit on the toilet at timed intervals and you never ask them to go, but instead, remind them to tell you when they need to go..subtle difference. They learn to listen to their body, rather than a parent forcing them to go sit on the potty. Also, keep that potty seat in the bathroom! Where in the world can you go potty in a livingroom out in the real world???

In the last year I have had 5 children train this way over a 3-4 day weekend and I continue it here at my home childcare. (Please discuss with your childcare..support is needed as they will require assistance with pants and washing hands..and someone there to cue into there "signs" before they are very verbal about the "Gotta go Potty" part...its part of the process!) Most have gone back to diapers or pull ups at night only, but I use none for naps, etc. Some accidents happen, but very few really. My youngest was 22 mos, the oldest 29 mos. I have one who turned 2 yesterday (Sept 2) and his parents did this method over the last weekend (it was a 4 day weekend as I was closed for 2 days)...and hes in undies and has had one accident (a poo) in the last 3 days, including naps of 2-3 hours each day.

I refuse to have children any older than 30 mos not trained or attempting it here any longer when there are alternatives. Most of these kids had never gone in potty before and I try not to use a small seat any longer than needed and use the full size toilet. I need to help with pants and hand washing, but to me this is way better than all those diapers on big kids!

You can do it!!!

Your fourth sentence answers your question: "My DD has NO interest in this potty thing." Leave her alone for awhile and realize that she might not be diaper free by the time baby #2 arrives. She'll get this in her own time, not yours. It will be ok.
And, yes, of course this is happening to you, who always had a biased attitude about children over a certain age who were not yet potty trained. That's called karma and it happens all the time....

I definately second the advice to get Lora Jensen's e-book at www.3daypottytraining.com. It is awesome. My daughter was pretty much trained in the 3 days. The first couple months there were some accidents every few days and a few at night. It is a no nonsense approach to potty training. No diapers, pull ups, trainers ever again. It was hard but worth it. That being said I did wait until my son was 5 months old before I started and she was 2 months shy of being 3 years old. It is up to you if you want to do it now or wait until the newness of the baby wears off. And keep in mind- kids are never going to be "ready" to give up diapers on their own, it's up to us as parents to give them the skills and motivation to take that big step. So don't be discouraged. Good luck to you!

C.

Have you tried going to the point of no return? By that I mean get rid of diapers and training pants for daytime. If there is no choice and she can only wear real underwear, she'll get tired of being wet. Yes, children will ask for diapers and/or pull ups, and yes I'm sure she changes her mind about what she likes and wants ten times a day (like my daughter!) but diapers/trainers should only used for sleep (and maybe nap times if they are a heavy sleeper). My babysitter told me not to go back and forth between using and not using the potty, or enforcing it some times but not at other times. When I decided to do it, she recommended I had to do it all the way and 100%. We made sure there was nothing on the calendar for three days and all I did was monitor the potty training situation while my husband took care of absolutely everything else. Day 1 we had 7 accidents. Day 2 we had 3 accidents. As of day 4, we've had only 1 wet accident. We were all on the same page and there was no turning back. I literally gave away all of the diapers so there was no visible reminder. Bowel movements were much harder, as everyone said. It took my nearly 3-year-old daughter a good month to not be afraid of it. After a full four weeks, I can honestly say we're done for daytime. I hear night time will take months but that's ok. I did get lots of people asking me why I didn't train her sooner but I really think that waiting until warm weather and waiting until she was nearly three really worked to her advantage. Who knows how long it would have taken if I had tried this a year earlier?

So did you ask your mother what she did to potty train you. Many my frown on my suggestion but scold her when she wets her clothes and let her know that it is not ok. You are telling her accidents happen and it is not an accident she didn't even try to go to the potty. Make her change her clothes and wah her bottom when she wets herself. Let her know that if she is old enough to ask for a diaper she is old enough to go to the potty. Maybe even when there is someplace that she really wants to go with her little friends you say no because she still wets her clothes and you can't take her if she is still wetting her clothes. Sometimes we have to get tough, even when they are 3.

If you have just started putting panties on her and letting her have accidents on herself, she will catch on. For some kids, they catch on within the first day, others it takes a few weeks and many messes. Stay calm, don't punish, just clean it up and go on. I would suggest taking her to the potty and having her sit every time she has an accident it even if she only stays 30 seconds. Yes, I know she already emptied her bladder, but you want her to know the correct place to put it. Don't put pull-ups on her at home except at bedtime. Pull-ups are Ok away from home. When in public, make frequent bathroom trips and try to get her to sit on the toilet even if she does not go. Do not use diapers on her anymore. As far as her holding it till a diaper is on, my daughter was confused with holding and pushing. I would put her on the potty and she would obviously be trying to do something, but she was actually holding it instead of pushing it out. When we pulled the panties back up, she would relax and wet herself. It takes a little while for them to figure out which muscles do what and how to use them. Keep it up, it gets better.

Walmart sometimes has a miniature toilet in the Family Restroom. My daughter thinks it is the greatest thing. She will tell me we head to the bathroom that she doesn't need to potty, but if we happen to be at a Walmart with a miniature toilet she will change her mind the minute she sees it. I sit her on the toilet even if she is adamant that she does not have to go. Most of the time she won't go, but I want her to at least try.

Don't know if I have too much to offer here, but I think rewards really depend on the child. We potty trained our older son at 2-1/2 and were shocked at how quick and relatively easy it was. That said, my son is very motivated by rewards, so use whatever will motivate your daughter, such as a special outing or getting to watch a movie. We were going on a Disney cruise and told him swim diapers are not allowed in Mickey's Pool. He also got a Thomas sticker every time he pee'd or pooped in the potty; he placed them on the potty so that he could see all of the stickers accumulating. Once he was good at holding it (we put him on every 2hrs), we told him that the first time he told us he had to go and then actually went in the potty, he'd get a new toy, which was an old birthday gift we had put away for a rainy day. From the start, we made it clear that accidents are not okay and emphasized that's why he needs to learn to tell us when he has to go. We also made up a song: "pee pee and poo poo go in the potty, not in my pants." When we go out, he now changes the ending "...not at the zoo/park/car, etc." Not sure what our approach will be with our younger son because he is not as motivated by rewards. Best of luck!!

It will not happen until your daughter is ready, physically and emotionally. She could be just on the verge of recognizing the urge in time, but you won't know that until after she succeeds. She may not get that piece of it for weeks or months yet. Some kids just don't.

It sounds like you're doing everything right, including giving up your cherished opinions about how it should work.

What has worked best with every young family I know, with my own daughter when she was young, and with my grandson, is to trust the process. Learning to control pee and poop are as natural, WHEN the child has all her ducks in a row, as learning to walk and talk. And just as desirable to the child. Give her space to get there, because your irritation, impatience or other pressure will possibly confound her progress emotionally and serve to slow it down.

When my son was 3... turned 3, he was still not potty trained. Though we tried. Not forcing though.
He even told me firmly "IT'S MY BODY!"

Then, on his own... one day, he 'wanted' to go on the potty to pee.
I kept the potty chair, IN the room, near by, wherever he was. To get him used to it. My son, can take time, to get used to things sometimes.
Then, gradually, the frequency of him 'wanting' to go on his potty chair increased. On HIS own. Then I would leave him naked on the bottom. Because he could NOT pull down his pants by himself. Yet.
Now, he recently turned 4... and he is good about peeing. Off and on about pooping. Still, I don't force it. Because my daughter got constipated due to pottying and just had anxiety and stress about it. And we even had to take her to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist for it, the constipation.

A child, when they are 'ready' will potty.

Next, you are pregnant and that alone, can cause regression in a child.
When I had my 2nd child, my eldest, my daughter, got potty regression and had accidents and stress. She told us. We talked to her about it all. We comforted her.
A child, this young, CANNOT figure out their emotions.... and when a new baby is along the way. It can cause anxiety in some young children.
So, perhaps, concentrate instead, on PREPPING your eldest, now... for the baby. Talk to her about it... that is what I did, with my eldest, BEFORE I gave birth. I totally prepped my child, about my pregnancy and about when baby comes home... before baby came home.

all the best,
Susan

hello momma,
my son just turned 2.5 on the 13 of september and we "bribed" him with Lolipops. He is doing well, he started August 13th, and has only wet the bed 1 time. When i put him to bed he only wears his underwear and jammies. i would try like 1 m&m for #1 and 2 m&ms for #2. I cant tell you much of anything other then maybe she is not ready. My co-workers son took until he was almost 4 years old to be potty trained. She will let you know when she is ready. Good Luckl

I don't have any wonderful insight, but I wanted to let you know that you are not alone. My daughter was not potty trained until she was 3. We "tried" before that, but she was not ready. She might be very strong-willed like my little angel, and she will do it on her time not yours. I promise you that she will be potty-trained before she goes to kindergarten. ;) Good luck and don't stress yourself or your little girl out about this.

You were potty trained in two weeks because you were ready. She is not potty trained because she is NOT ready. Trying to potty train before a child is ready is doing nothing more than training the parent (and causing extra work for yourself). When your daughter is ready it will happen. Keep in mind, if she were potty trained today, she may regress when your baby is born.

After the baby is born, maybe you could tell her that she is your big girl now and can't wear diapers anymore and see if that helps (this may work with some but not with others so don't force it).

I have a 2 and 4 year old girl the first girl was not to hard what I did was buy a little cute potty and made her sit on it in front of the T.V. and watch her favorite show and told her when she pee's to come tell mommy and we would clap.
I also went out and got the little under ware for her and when she pee's I would rush her to the potty and then after a few weeks I started taking her to the bath room every time I went.

Now every child is different and my 2year old now she is doing better she turned two in May 31 and she tell me when she haves to pee some times before she needs to go and some times right after. I just send her to the potty every time her big sister goes now. I also have them in day care and had to tell the day care to ask her every 1 1/2 and take her to the rest room so this way she get's use to using the big girls potty. I think she is doing good and she is on pull ups now and doing good I think she will be off in another month. She tells me most of the time she has to go you have to stick with it is what I learned! It's not just the baby but us s parents to some times we don't always want to get up or tired when they start playing that game that they need to go when they don't have to but if you stick with it and keep telling them they are a big girl or Boy then they want to be big like mommy and big like sister they watch everything we do and they learn most stuff their first 5 years.