Potty Training for 3Yr Boy

Updated on April 09, 2008
J.B. asks from Westtown, NY
23 answers

I have a wonderful boy who turned three in Dec '07 - He was doing good with going potty and being interested in it for about two/three weeks and now - wants nothing to do with it and the pull ups are soaky - will every once and a while - stand/sit to go potty - Do not know what to do - I do not want to make him or our family upset over potty training - any advice or suggestions please -

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L.M.

answers from Jamestown on

Perhaps you could buy those little targets you can put in the toilet for boys to do "target practice" with? Could make it more fun...

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D.K.

answers from New York on

A friend suggested this to me, and it worked for my son. We got an erasable calendar from Staples and each day he went on the potty (even if it was only once), he was allowed to put a star on that day - and we made a VERY big deal of it. I did resort to bribery (each time he did go on the potty, he got 4-5 mm's). If he had 7 stars in a row on his calendar, we got to do something he's been wanting to do (go buy a small toy/go to Chuck E Cheese etc.)

I also never got into the pull ups, I just bought regular "big boy underwear" and let him soak them which was very uncomfortable and prompted him to use the potty more.

Hope this helps! Good luck!

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D.Z.

answers from Binghamton on

J.,

My daughter is a month older than your son. She does not potty train yet. She is very against it. I have responded to similar questions here, the message is basically this...I don't believe that potty "training" is necessary. When he is ready, he will do it. He probably can't go to preschool in diapers/pullups. If he can, I might consider not letting him anyway. My daughter cannot go to school until she goes on the potty and she knows it. I stopped buying her size diapers and just put her in her baby sisters size 4 diapers. They are a little tight and I'm hoping that she'll get tired of the way they feel and move on, meanwhile it simplifies my shopping because I really got tired of buying 2 different size diapers. Look for my comments related to this topic several weeks ago, because my brain isn't working well right now.

Don't worry too much about it. Every kid is different. There was only one kid in my Kindergarten class who even had accidents, those many years ago, so I'm sure he'll get it before school!!

I noticed you would like to expand your family. When my first child was one, I really wanted to start thinking about another one, but finances were so tight. I received some very wise advice that you should never wait until you have enough money/space/time to have kids because something will always get in the way. Life can always be hard, but there is nothing more important than family. If you want your son to enjoy having a sibling, I encourage you to think about it soon because there will be an age gap there and the sooner the better. Now I have a step-son who lives with me full time, as well as four of our own, ages 8, 6, 3, and 15 months. I won't say that it is easy financially or even just logistically, but it is worth every sacrifice that we make. We actually downsized from a home to a single wide trailer because it allowed me to stay home with the kids. We are a little cramped, but actually not too bad, and the kids are much happier with me home with them. I believe that if you really want more kids, and your husband agrees, you can find a way to make it work. I would love to chat with you more about this, so feel free to email me directly.

D.

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S.B.

answers from New York on

I will concur with everyone about the pull-ups. I am a first time Mom of a now 4 year old boy. From 2 and a half until after three years of age we tried to potty train. I used the pull-ups, thinking that this was the way to prevent messes while training. My son did not mind having wet pull-ups, and we had trouble getting the message across. After 7 months, we finally gave up on the pull-ups, and he was trained after only a few accidents in regular clothes. When I brought him to his home daycare, I had to pack three extra sets of clothes so that he would always have something dry to wear. That's what it finally took, and I wish that I had done it sooner.

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L.A.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,
Every time my son would use the potty, I'd let him pick one jelly bean. It worked for us. (We also tried matchbox cars before that, but he liked picking a jelly bean-go figure)
Good luck!
L.

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D.F.

answers from Albany on

Hi J., Here's some good advise....I potty trained my 2 1/2 year old Son in 2 days. (I know every kid is different...but I think my technique is pretty great) LOL
Try a day or two of absolutely NO diapers, NO pull ups. Once you decide to potty train, pull ups only confuse them.
Only use diapers at nap time and bed time. During waking hours only have him in underwear. (since you work, then try this on Saturday and Sunday) and put the potty in the room that you spend most time with him...ie, family room. (so you don't have to run all the way to the bathroom when he has to go.) After a few accidents he will get the message MUCH faster than if he is wearing pull ups. Also, whenever YOU have to go, tell him ! Say "Mommy has to go potty" And make a point of running to the bathroom. You can also try a "catch phrase" (this worked with my son)....Whenever he had to go, I said excitedly, and cheered him on "hold it, hold it, don't go on the floor"....he loved it and actually would tell me the same thing whenever I said I had to go potty.
He would run after me cheering "hold it, hold it, don't go on the floor" He felt like a big help and very proud to be helping Mommy.
My son is totally trained. and we have not had any accidents.
He actually will not even go in his diaper ever....after every nap and every morning, his diapers are dry.
Hope this info helps.
Good luck, D.

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M.B.

answers from New York on

I would say don't push it. He will let you know when he is truly ready. We spent a year (starting when my son started showing interest and went on the potty a few times in the first week) pushing him and he really wasnt ready. We were stressed, he was stressed, and it wasn't a good situation. Then one day he just decided he was ready. Now I know for my second son to just let it happen when he is ready.(My son was finally trained when he was about 3 and 3 months)

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R.D.

answers from New York on

Hi J. - I found a book online called three-day potty training by Lora Jensen. My 3-year-old son too started for a couple of weeks and then wanted nothing to do with the toilet. I bought the book and she recommends waiting 30 days before trying again. Toward the end of that 30 days my son started to talk about wanting to use the toilet. We did the three-day potty training as recommended and he skipped pull-ups altogether and has been dry ever since. I'm not sure if it was the method or if he had simply decided he was ready. Either way, it worked really well and my son and I had a great weekend together going through the process. Beware, the web site's home page sounds really arrogant but if you get past that, the advice she gives and the process really is pleasant and productive.

Good luck!

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K.P.

answers from Syracuse on

I was always told that if a child is physically and developmentally not ready to be rid of diapers/pull ups, then never to force the issue. Only because initially, you want the potty to be new and exciting. Not something that they associate negative thoughts with.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

When I was potty training our son. I took him to Target and let him pick out the character underwear he wanted. Then all day and I mean all day I reminded him.....Don't pee-pee on Spiderman. He would say I won't pee-pee on Spiderman. For us it worked. Good Luck. A.

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E.F.

answers from New York on

my son will be three in july, and is now potty training. I dont bother with pull ups, he thinks they are diapers, and they dont seem to work. I baught him a ton of underpants, and he picks his own "big boy underpants" to wear. Also, i baught a bag of dum dum lollypops, and told him he could pick a lolly any time he tried to go potty. once he got used to trying, i changed it to any time he would pee or poop on the potty. that seemed to work, he uses his potty a lot now. Half the time he even forgets aobut hte lollypop. He does still have accidents, and i have to remind him to try if he hasnt gone in a while, but he is doing well. He comes up to me and goes "pee pee" an dpulls my finger to get me in the bathroomw with him. you may want to try this approach. I htink the big boy underpants are key. Especially if you buy ones he likes; we have cars, and thomas, and some plain ones with stripes and things. His favorite pair has baseballs all over them.

Good luck, and i hope this helps you. I know potty training can be tough, my daughter wasnt fully trained until she was 4. she pooped in her panties one day, when i was pregnant with my son, and it made me sick, so i threw them out. They were her favorite pair, and she as very upset, so she neer did it again.

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B.G.

answers from New York on

I learned from my Mom what to do. How do us mothers figure these things out?? ...this question has always perplexed me ... so I hope this helps you!

The most important thing is to have a routine everyday of sitting on the potty at the same time, doing the same routine. Read a book while your child is on the potty; make it rewarding!. Do not worry about whether he goes or not. After he is done, give him a small lolipop every time. Eventually he will go and really learn to look forward to this time.

As far as him going in his pants, I made sure that my girls would go to the potty every 2 hours and ask if they needed to go often. Usually a daycare will know the routine and do this automatically if you tell them the deal.

Remember, each child goes at his own pace and just because he is not potty trained yet does not mean there is anything wrong!

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S.H.

answers from New York on

I have worked at a Yale Childcare Center for 9 years in the 2yr to 3-1/2 yr class. I have probably potty trained over 100 kids. First of all, I don't like pull ups, they are too much like diapers and more expensive. You need to use training pants. He won't want to feel the wetness of the training pants and he (hopefully) won't want to wet his new superman or whatever pants. You are right not to make a big deal about it, but I would make a concious effort to take a weekend (if you work outside the home)and get him to use the potty often (at least every hour). Bring in his favorite books. Make it fun, put cherrios in the toilet and let him aim. If he is three he will be more comfortable standing. If he is too short, use the top of an styrofoam cooler for him to stand on, they are wide and low. He can lean over the toilet and hold on to the top of the seat lid which will position him pointing down into the toilet. Sing and use his name: "It's Johnny's turn to pee, it's Johnny's turn to pee. I am so proud of you, it's Johnny's turn to pee (sung to "the cat caught the mouse, the cat caught the mouse, hi ho the dari-o, the cat caught the mouse). When it gets warmer, hopefully soon, the best way is to spend a lot of time outside in warm weather with a long teeshirt, bare bottom and a little portable potty. As you know, lots of praise for making it on time, and no big deal if he wets his new pants (keep him off the couch). Good luck. S.

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S.B.

answers from New York on

J.,
have you tried putting cheerios in the toilet and making it into a sort of potty time game? See of he can sink them. It helped when potty trainig my son.
S..

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N.R.

answers from New York on

Hi J., try taking the pulls up away & use regular "really cool" underwear. Find something in the action dude of his choice. After a couple of times wetting in them, he will stop. NO, it doesn't sound cruel, it's tough love. The other side of the coin is, he won't go to kindergarten wearing diapers so don't sweat it, find a tree & let him pee. :)

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A.C.

answers from New York on

I would get rid of the pull ups and just try underwear and naked child at home. I have two boys and I hate to say it, but I bribed both of them a little after they turned 3 using toy cars and monster trucks with the big one and other cars with the little one. When the big one went pee he got a car and poop he got a monster truck. I also found that letting them run around naked at home was huge - they would not go without a diaper on and so they used the potty and got used to the what it felt like. They both trained that way in a long weekend. GOOD LUCK

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S.S.

answers from New York on

I hope this isn't a double - my other response vanished.

I have two boys, now 7 and 11 years old, who were very potty-training-resistant. I would get excited about it and vow to be consistent and then get really frustrated (and angry) when they would pee all over the floor two seconds after "trying" the potty. I also hated that all my conversations with them were about pee and poop. I feel really strongly that it's a physical and mental developmental issue, and kids need to want to and be able to in order to potty train. So if he wants to, let him try and use the pull ups, but if he loses interest, say no big deal and go back to the diapers for a while. They both figured it out by 4, 4 and a half. And since they both have some OT issues, I figure it may have taken them a little longer than some of their cousins/friends because of this. Anyways, that's my experience.

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D.

answers from New York on

My son was the same way. We tried evrything and eventually he kind of had to do it on his own. But have you tried targets. We would put a square of TP in the potty and tell him to "sink the boat". He still loves to do that one. Also what REALLY helped us was letting him run around bottem-less. No pants no undies no pull-up. And he started to get it and would run to the bathroom and go. I've heard other mom's say the same thing. But if those things don't work stop for a couple months and try again.

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S.R.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,
I recently completed potty training my two-year old boy. It took around 4 months, but we are finally done! Phew, it was so hard and so much work, but in the beginning, the thing that worked best was no diaper at all (no pants, no underwear). We were in the house for most of that time and he realized that if he had to go it would make a mess if he didn't head towards the toilet. Later on, once we were able to put pants on and he could verbalize his needs very well, I would put the emphasis on "making mommy happy when he goes to the potty." I read somewhere that toddlers really aim to please and this seemed to work really well! More so than chocolates or sweets.
I hope this helps and GOOD LUCK!
S.

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B.S.

answers from New York on

Wish I had advice because my nearly 3 year old wants NOTHING to do with the potty.

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J.H.

answers from New York on

Hi J.,

It's not uncommon for children to revert back to their old ways so don't be alarmed. First of all get rid of the pull ups and put him in some big boy undies. If he wets them have him undress and dress himself back. He is old enough to do these things with a little help. Make a treat jar with m & m's or some little something like that and if he potties he gets one for pee pee, two for the other. Try cherrio's in the tollit for him to aim at. Get rid of the potty chair, let him sit on the big seat with a child ring on it. Good luck, J.

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Y.D.

answers from New York on

I just finished potty training my 2 yr. old daughter. It took me a total two weeks..

My style may not be what you're looking for but it worked for me and may work for your if you're a SAHM which I see your not. But if you're son does not go to daycare and you have someone to watch him perhaps they can use the concept?? First off DITCH THE PULLUPS!! I NEVER used them on my daughter because I feel they send mixed message to toddlers who are in the process of toilet training. The ultimate goal is **NOT** to go in your undies, trousers, skirt, etc. So using pullups makes it **OK** if it does happen. Is that the signal you want to put out? Don't you think that is a mixed signal? You're telling him one thing but your actions are saying a totally different thing. What is the goal here? To be toilet trained so in the end the bottomline is, not to soil his clothes. So it's not ok. Of course you can't scold him but there is a line that you must clearly darw and make him understand it is not ok and that everybody uses the toilet.

If you son is home with a full time sitter perhaps you should have him/her try this: I went right from diapers to undies. I stayed home for two weeks literally and let her walk around semi naked to make it easier for her in the beginning. Then I moved to just undies. Were there accidents? Of course but I kept on re-enforcing the concept that pee-pee and poo-poo go in the toilet not down your leg and that it's yucky. Even if you have to repeat it a thousand times a day. Then I moved on to her being fully dressed. We had about two bad days prior to her having no more accidents and that was when she did poo and pee in her trousers at the same time. She hated the feeling and yes, it is not pleasant but I had her stay in her soiled trousers for a bit, so she can feel the sensation of what it feels like and undertand that is is not nice and does not feel good. After that, there were no more accidents. I think the young ones need to feel their clothes wet and uncomfortable in order for them to fully understand the total concept. Believe me they will not like it. But you have to be ready for accidents. That is what I did with my daughter and we are diaper free -- even at night.

Last I must reiterate again: Just DITCH THOSE PULLUPS!! They prolong the process when there is no need for it.

Good luck.

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B.C.

answers from New York on

I never potty trained my youngest daughter (3rd child) she went straight to the toilet. I purchased the kiddy seat that fits right over the toilet and that was the best thing I had no problems she actually was excited about using the toilet. I had the same problem as you are having now with my other two children so I learned from previous experience so my third child went straight to the toilet with her own little cartoon character seat. The potty to me seems a bit uncomfortable for them and they realize we do not use a potty so I hope this helps. Try it!!

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