Potty Training and Daycare

Updated on March 29, 2007
B.R. asks from Detroit, MI
15 answers

I have written many posts on this board about daycare. I'm still looking for childcare so I have another request or vent.
My DS will be 2 1/2 years old by the time I need to find a child care center for him in January. My problem is right now my DS is not potty trained and I doubt that I will have made much progress by December due to having a newborn not having the time right now to devote to potty training. If consistancy is the key to getting the job done I know I'm going to have a hard time right now.
My problem is that I'm having a hard time finding a child care situation that is not telling me to start potty training my child when he is ready. I keep hearing that all of the 2 1/2 year olds are potty trained in their rooms which I find hard to believe. I believe that most places just don't want the responsiblity of assisting me to traing my child. Even though they have him most of the day and they charge a small fortune to keep the child. Has anyone else had this experience. It seems that I cannot get a clear procedure on potty training from any of the centers I've gone to. Maybe home care would be better or a group home care setting. I do want my son to socialize with other kids his age and not be put in the young toddler/infant section because he is not potty trained or fully trained.
thanks for input

Also, I'm not looking for someone to potty train my DS because I just don't want too. All I want is someone to work with and assist me. I just don't want someone who really don't want to be bothered with this dirty job and will accept my child because they don't want to turn a paying customer away. And it seems that every place I have gone I get this strange vibe about my DS not being potty trained. After all this person will have my child 9 hours a day. I know that I could accomplish this but right now I feel as though I need a little extra help.

What can I do next?

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answers from Detroit on

Keep looking until you find a place that will work with you. I work part-time for a small daycare/preschool in Taylor, and once they're 2 1/2, and move to the preschool room, we start to potty train. It is a long, and sometimes frustrating process, but even something as simple as having them sit on the potty chair after every soiled diaper helps them to get the idea.

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answers from Dayton on

I work in a preschool/daycare and I have one boy in my pre-k class who is still potty training. So not all daycare centers are so tense about potty training.

But have you considered that while you are too busy to spearhead your child's potty training because of one infant, the daycare teacher has to try to focus on training your child as well as several others at the same time? And do you realize that it requires extra personnel to attend to children while one staff person helps change your child's pants? These are the things you would probably be paying for. And if you are looking for a center to train your child so you don't have to, then it will be a long, hard road because in my experience, if the parents aren't going to do their part, then it is like taking two steps forward and one step back. I wish I had a nickel for every time a child achieved a great trend in going on the toilet, only to have the parent put them in pull-ups as soon as they are home and all through the weekend. The parents simply cannot be bothered to do the dirty work. I am not saying you are doing this, I just want you to realize that the day care workers who potty train do not have a pleasant job. It takes alot of patience, extra clothes, time, and latex gloves.

Don't give up...keep trying. There are good centers out there that will work with you to help your child achieve according to his own good time.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Canton on

Dear B.,

Hello! I read your request on Mamasource.com and I understand your frustration. My name is C. Elias and I provide wonderful, loving daycare to children aged 6 weeks to 12 years in my home, Little Footprints Daycare (littlefootprints.metrodaycare.com) in Navarre (Perry Township). All of the children in my care interact and socialize with each other every day, all day. I have 3 children of my own, one is 2 1/2 and still in pull-ups. She has gone back and forth with potty training. I feel children will want "big kid" underwear when they are ready. There is no point in pushing them when they are not ready. I feel the centers do not want to take the time to help train children when they are going through this important stage in life. If I can answer any of your questions or provide more information, please call me at ###-###-####.



answers from Detroit on

Wow, B.! I'm amazed...with all the literature out there now don't people get it that children all develop at different rates? I have a center in the Royal Oak area and never set requirements like potty trained ages. Potty training depends on physical development, if the muscles aren't ready there's no way the child can accomplish this. Think how they must feel to continually disappoint the adults in their life because of something they can't control. Not too positive. This is not to say that some children may be ready to be potty trained but are using it as a power struggle or manipulation. If you have a new baby & this 2.5 year old little boy isn't feeling your loving touch as much as before, he may enjoy the time with you while you change him. He may crave the attention (even if it's negative attention) - still time you focus on him. I could go on!!! My name is V.; you may call me at the preschool for more talk anytime. ###-###-####. I have a master's degree in Early Childhood Education and owned the center 20 years (& have an 18 year old son of my own!)



answers from Saginaw on

My daughter is at Kindercare in Midland. They are terrific about helping with the process of Potty training. They have child size potties, starting in the toddler room to introduce the idea. When the kids are 2 1/2, they move down the hall to "Transition" where potty training is more emphasized. The teachers also provide a lot of support for parents who are struggling with potty training - ideas, etc.



answers from Cincinnati on


As the owner of a Reputable Child Care Facility I find it my obligation to get your child potty trained, I have 3 year olds who still are not fully potty trained. Certainly we would love to have what we are trying at school to be consistent at home, sometimes that is not possible and we understand. Part of our job is to potty training, the teachers know that before they start working for me.



answers from Los Angeles on

I found it much easier to potty train my son with in home child care because there was older boys who he wanted to be like. I found my child care at that time through Child Care Network. They are a non-profit out of Ann Arbor, who are all about helping find the right child care for you.

Good luck - R.



answers from Columbus on

B., I am having the same problem but my child is three years old. I have tried everything and I dont know what to do .She refuses to go on the potty! I need help!!



answers from Columbus on

I have a son who is just over 2 1/2 years old, and just at the early stages of training. He wasat a Kidnercare center in Lewis Center and they were a HUGE help in starting the process, showed me tips and sticker charts they used. And if my son was to timid to actually GO potty, then they would have him stand (as if peeing) and touch the back of the potty. After a few times of getting used to touching the potty he was much more calm and ok with the idea of sitting on it, and slowly wanted to take his diaper off and go potty. He still isnt' trained but now he's comfortable with the toilet. He's now at Jelly Bean Junctin in Dublin and they also are wonderful about assisting in teh training. and neither location tried holdng him back because of not being potty trained, in fact, he's now in a preschool class... I suggest keep looking for different daycares, I'd be very concerned abotu ones who feel he must be potty trained by 2 1/2. my son's pediatrician at one point even told me that unless he specifically told me he wanted to usse the potty, to not even try training till he was 3. dont' worry, your little guy will let you know when he's ready :)



answers from Cleveland on

Have you tried your YMCA. I live in Akron and we have a ton of YMCA's with daycares. I know they do not have to be potty trained for that...I think they do however need to wear a pullup not a diaper.



answers from Detroit on


You are NOT looking at the right daycare centers. My son is 2 1/2 and not anywhere near being potty trained. He is starting to show interest and we are encouraging it...as are the teachers at the daycare. When he says he has to go potty they take him in to use the toliet (even though he never will actually go). I have already started working with his teachers-- they are pros at this and will give suggestions, but ultimately follow the parents wishes. If you are getting negative feedback from this on the centers you are looking at, I would be worried that they will be "lazy" with other aspects of your child's eduction and development.

My son is at a Kindercare center--FYI.



answers from Dayton on

HI B.!

I suggest a deep breath - the whole experience of doing what is best for your child can be frustrating when you bring any third party in - whether that is private care or day care. I interviewed 9 daycare centers before I found one that I fully liked - and there are still days that I take issue with something here and there. The best thing to do is communicate openly about it all before you are really angry. My daughter attends Wee Care center in Vandalia Wed/Thurs/Fri. I am home with her Sat/Sun and her daddy is home with her Mon/Tues. We all handle potty training a little differently - so it takes a little longer. My daughter will be 2 in October. I am hoping that she is fully trained by next summer. She sometimes WANTS to use the potty, sometimes doesn't - sometimes will ask to go before she uses her pull up sometimes will tell me her pull up is wet or that she is 'stinky poo' - I try to not pressure her and take it one day at a time. I can't wait to have the expense of diapers/pullups behind me - but I don't want to force my child either. The daycare center is great but not always as able to take my daughter to the potty as often as I do at home (usually once an hour) so we are all just doing our best and taking it one day at a time. I have a friend with a three year old son who stays home and she has a 10 mos old daughter - and the son is not completely potty trained. Keep interviewing daycare centers or private care providers until you find someone that you are content with and then keep communication lines open - don't settle - you'll find what you need! And hang in there :)



answers from Cleveland on

Hi B., Sorry you have had poor experience with DC and potty training.
I had six of my own.
I do home daycare. I have no openings at this time and I do potty train.
Is your child ready? by this I mean do they say I pooped or wet my pants? Does your child take his or her diaper off? Does your child want to be a big girl or boy? Does your child want to know what you are doing in the potty?

My first child I trained was a boy it took me 2 weeks. He was 2 and 1/2. His new parents had no idea what to do. They just gave him to me. He was so easy it was unbelievable. He does not pee at nap time or through the night. He is 3 1/2 now and not once had an accident.

My second child was a girl 3 years old. Again new parents and they told me she was potty trained a big big lie. So, we had a little talk and found out that they had talked to the father of the son I potty trained in a very short time. The truth came out and I went to work. We are in our 3rd week, she goes in the potty but still has accidents while she is playing, at nap time and bedtime. My method is using pull-ups until completely trained. I usually will ask them about every 15 minutes if they need to go potty and I want their potty chair. I read while they sit on the potty we sing and tell each other make believe stories and sooner or later they go and we dance around and clap, sometimes we call mommy and daddy and share the good news. Potty training should not be a forced task. I hope that is what parents mean when they say your child is ready. They are willing to try something different make a change. The approach is usually different for every child and the response is different too. Working full time is going to make it even harder. Do you have any family in the area who might be able to help. The child needs someone they trust. I wish you the best. Brensa



answers from Toledo on

I too have an in home daycare and do have openings. I'm not sure where you are located or where you work but if it is anywhere near West Toledo I would glady care for your son and potty train him. I only take ages one and up so that it creates a nice play group, and so that I can educate the children as well. This also means that I can give more attention to things like potty training. Anyway if interested you can email me at ____@____.com or go to my website www.freewebs.com/Nikkis_Childcare
I do agree that some regular daycare centers do not like taking the time to potty train and some even charge more. I personally think potty training shouldn't cost more but it should be given a lot of attention/effort on the caregivers part.
I definitely would look into in home daycares or even nannies, I think they will give you the most help. Nannies are more expensive though of course.
Hope that helps! Good luck!!!

OOPS! I also wanted to add that not all 2 1/2 year olds are potty trained and that potty training should not be forced but could be encouraged. I personally think that it is unfair to put a child with younger children just because he isn't potty trained. I have two degrees one in Child Development and the other in Early Childhood Education and in both degrees we learned the importance of not forcing potty training. We also learned that by holding kids back just because they aren't potty trained can also cause problems. I would find somewhere/someone that is willing to work with your son and not hold him back or push him too much.



answers from Lansing on

Hi, I have a daycare in my home and I feel that if any place that you are looking into doesn't support you and your efforts than you should go with your gut feelings and move on. I have a few openings right now in my daycare and would love to discuss potty training and the possibility of you DS coming over. I leave near MT Hope and Penn.

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