Potty Training an Almost 4 Year Old Boy

I just had to go through this issue also, my ds is 3yr 4months old. We had gone past a pre-school and he said he wanted to go to school. So we stopped and he visited, he really like it. I just told him that if he wants to go to school like his big brother, he had to use the big potty all the time because they don't let boys go that are in diapers(we never used pull-ups).Unbelievably that was it!! it worked. Just come up with things that entice him like going to the zoo, library or a special park maybe that will work? He also might be afraid of it disappearing(mine was) I told him it feeds the worms and they need to eat. Just keep in mind that this is almost the last thing he has control of in his little life and its hard to let it go. I wish you the best.

DS wasn't fully trained until he was about 4 years, 3 months old. He did the same thing...pooped only in a pull-up. I just backed off on it and when he was ready he told me he wanted to start going on the potty.

Hope this helps.

~A.~

I have two boys that were late bloomers in the potty business. My oldest, now 5 1/2 yrs, sounds just like yours. He would scream when we set him on the potty and then he'd end up going on the floor as he would stand up as it was coming out. We just kept putting him on the toilet (with potty ring) even though he'd cry and sit and talk to him and hold his hand and let him know we were right there with him and eventually he caught on. We did offer a reward system using rocks in a jar (he liked being able to feel them). When the jar was full he got a train or car. the jar was left on the counter so he could see how full it was, too. Patience and consistancy. I did let him ask for a diaper or he'd just wait till bedtime to poop anyway. We then took the poop and dropped it into the potty so he could see it flush away.
My youngest just turned 4 and just about a month ago decided he was going to sit on the potty. He never screamed. He just didn't want to do it. We used bribery with him as he loves candy. Now the big deal is that he doesn't want to wash his hands all the time. Makes me crazy! Our current step is getting him to understand that he doesn't have to tell us he has to go at home he can just go alone. He seems to think he needs an audience. lol. It all usually works out.

I had the same problem. tried everything. finally just pulled back and he just finally went on his own, no pushing. Has been great eversince

My son was having the same problems as your son. Not to concern you to much my son had constipation problems and just didn't feel the urge the fits he would throw would make any one want to give in. So I got a stool that was a little taller than the toilet and told him he didn't have to sit on the toilet but could squat over it. It helped alot the squatting is like standing and helped him feel more comfortable going. Still to this day he doesn't completly sit to poop he use his feet on the toilet seat and squats I know it seems weird but that is what did the trick and if that is what it took then I am A OKAY with it. Patience is a virtue so have plenty of it I know I do.

B., have you tried sitting your son on the toilet facing backwards? My mom used this technique with my twin boys and it works great! They we afraid of falling in when they sat facing forward...good luck...M. T

Hi B., my name is P. and let me tell ya I FEEL YA!!! My youngest will be 5 in August and she wont poop in the potty either. We put her back in pullups because i got tired of cleaning out panties and then i got to where i would throw the panties away. We have also tried everything and nothing has worked. So now what we are doing is just leaving it in her hands. We told her last night "if you want to poop in your pullups fine. That is your choice. But we will no longer clean you up. That is YOUR responsibility. We have nothing more to do with cleaning you up. Its all up to you". She wasnt too happy about that. She went and tried to poop in the potty. Maybe that is what we needed to do in the first place. I dont know if that will help with your son but its an idea. My husband is ex military and we have also been through a deployment. None of it is easy. We havent had to move but we have done the new jobs..and i went back to school for my lpn liscense. So its been a wild ride. Let me know how it goes with your son. Good luck!!!!

This is a battle of wills. You will win by not being swayed by his tantrums. He must sit on the pot when you say, as long as you think he needs to, even if he does not like it. As he sits there, keep reminding him how unpleasant it is when he has poopy pants, and how nice it is when one poops on the potty and doesn't get their bottom all messy. Go big on praise. He is old enough it should happen soon. I would steer all conversation to this topic. Read books about it. Draw pictures about it. Examimne the toilet together. Talk about how it works.

I would put my son backward on the toilet, facing the tank, and allow him to look at some books while sitting there. Sitting backward made him more comfortable for some reason, and it didn't take long after that.

Good Luck!

Do you think that maybe he had constipation while trying to use the big boy potty, and even though he isn't now, he associates that pain with going on the potty instead of in the pull-up? I have heard of kids getting constipated and having pain from BMing and that makes them not want to poop on the potty anymore. I don't know how to handle it except if that the case just explain to him that it won't hurt again and make sure you feed him a high fiber diet.

I will tell you what I finally did. My son was 3 and we couldnt get him to go. He thought a bug was coming out of him. We had a pooping party by accident. Our friends were over with a son the same age. Her son went to the bathroom and they were both in there. When her yelled for his mom to come and wipe him she showed my son and praised her son for doing it right in front of my son and gave him a treat. We made sure my son didnt get the treat at that time. And like he had done it all his life he got on and went also.
I know it sound weird but it worked for us.

as goofy as it sounds i do a song and dance with my 23 month old son, after he peepees or poopoos in the potty, we sing peepee or poopoo in the potty to the conga beat and we even dance down the hall afterwards, we will also sing and dance to the potty and if does both then we sing both. he absolutely loves it, he isnt a master at the bathroom thing but it is definitely making a difference for me,

a little about me: i am a 28 y/o mother of 4 children, 2 boys 8 yrs and 23 months, and 2 girls 4 yrs and 6 months, and i am happily married for 4 yrs now.

My little boy mastered peeing in the potty by 18 months, but we didn't think that he would ever poop in the potty! I had nightmares that he would go to first grade pooping in his pants and heard horror stories about boys of five refusing to use the potty! He absolutely refused to even try. He would even tell us that he was never going to poop in the potty. The first step i took was to absolutely refuse to buy pull ups. When he was wearing underwear, he would actually ask for a pullup, so that's when i just stopped buying them. It made a lot more work for me and my poor husband almost couldn't stomach it after being a fabulous diaper changer earlier!! I kept threatening to others that i was going to start spanking and my mother in law begged me to hold out and stick to my guns about the underwear. Nothing that i tried seemed to work!! He hated to mess up his underwear but he was still pooping in them when his third birthday arrived. Finally one day, i was about to put him in the bath and he passed gas, so i calmly asked him if he wanted to poop in the potty and he said yes! It was all i could do to remain calm, but i managed it and he managed to poop in the potty. I cheered to beat the band and we called his daddy and both grandmothers and he has never gone in his pants again!! I think that staying calm is the most important thing. When our nerves get frayed landmarks like this one take longer and longer!! So, after a long winded response, my advice would be to try to catch him before he's in the actual act and give it a calm but excited try!! Also, my theory on all things hard to master.l.....rewards and praise!! Best of luck and god bless!!

I don't have any advice. I'm right in there with you though. I have a daughter who just turned 4 this month and will not poop on potty. She will hold it for days until we put a pull up on her. We have tried everything too. Good luck.

First of all I would like to thank you for your service to our great country. When my son was being potty trained he was scared that the toilet would "swallow" him like it did the water in the bowl. We bought a child toilet seat that snapped on the big people toilet seat and it worked. He wasn't afraid that he was going to fall in any longer. Hope that helps. Good luck!

sounds a little gross, but we put the potty chair in the family room, then we would empty it into the big potty and he could flush. slowly we worked the potty chair into the bathroom and finally he started going in there. it'll be o.k. don't fret too much!

Don't Worry! Just encourage him to tell you when he does it in the pullup. Make a big deal of joy whenever he tells you that he has pooped. My 4 year old was the same way. I converted back to pullups also. But he would come tell me when he had to poop and wanted a pull up on, then after he was finished he would come tell me. Now he uses the toilet. He will be 5 in Sept. He did not start Using the toilet until after he was 4. He was scared the toilet was going to suck him down like on flushed away. Just give him time, but always suggest using the toilet whenever he needs to poop, but don't push him. Just give him time.

We went through some of the same issues with our little boy. He had been standing to pee pee in the toilet since he was 2 1/2 but the pooping was a major task. He did the same thing of going and getting a pull up when he needed one. We tried hiding them but he just then wouldn't go and would wind up constipated. And he would go in the floor before he would go in the toilet if we didn't give him the pull up. What we finally did was give him acidophilus to keep him regular and to prevent constipation. We also gave him a stool to put his feet on. This way he had something to put pressure against. He was unsure of his feet hanging and too when he had the diaper he could keep his feet on the ground and put pressure against the diaper. Within in two weeks of giving him the acidophilus daily and giving him the stool, he was completely potty trained. He will still stand and pee and then turn around and sit down but at least there are no more diapers.

Hello B., Wow am I late with this but here goes. First, thank you and your family for standing up literally for our country. What a blessing. And that little 4 year old, I am sure he is as well. About your question, you did get some good response but if you will go into the archives and look at April 15,2008 there are some things about this same question that were not mentioned to you this time around. Good luck and you know the interesting part is both my children are now in their 30s and I do not remember any stress about potty training, maybe that is part of the success.

If he's that strong willed, I'd leave him alone for about a month and then see what happens...

Also, with my strong willed one, I resorted to flat out bribery. I bought a Hamster (she desperately wanted one) and set up the cage, and she couldn't hold/pet it until she had pooped in the potty. Then the next day if she had an accident, she couldn't hold him until the next time she pooped in the potty, and she could only hold it right after she pottied until she had gone a whole week of poooing in the potty. After two weeks we didn't have any accidents at all and she got to play with the hamster any time mommy had the free hands to help her.

Find something her reallly really wants. See what happens.

M.