Potty Training Advice - Clovis,CA

How long did you try the big boy undies? I know with both of my kids, once they showed they understood (which is sounds like he does), we went to undies, and the first day was a disaster! (my older had 13 accidents on day one, my youngest did not use the potty once!), but we kept with it, and on day 2 we had just a couple of accidents, and day 3 we had none at all. The first day of big boy pants is always very wet, but it you just keep with it they get better at it fast.

I agree that your son does not sound ready yet. Readiness happens on several levels, physical, neurological/sensory, verbal, and emotional, and they don't all arrive at the same time for most kids. He may be getting close, but something's still missing for him on the sensory and/or emotional levels.

Lots of parents let the child go bare-butt at home, because that will, in kids like your son, gradually help his new abilities become more habitual. But he's not really trained until he is able and willing to use the toilet on his own initiative, no matter what he's wearing. So, when you do have to go out, then diapers make more sense. They probably won't slow down the training or confuse him.

But he will still need whatever time he needs to sort out all the sensory and awareness issues. That could be a few more days or a few more months. A popular approach is to let the child decide when he's ready and eager to use the potty, at which point, the entire training period may be less than a week.

Here's a wonderful, informative website you might find helpful. It gives a few variations on"readiness" checklists, plus tips on various training strategies, the best ages to start them, and the advantages and disadvantages of each approach: http://www.parentingscience.com/toilet-training-readiness...

He's not ready, for that phase yet.
Potty mastery... occurs in stages.
Stages.
Not at one time.

That is the way my son started.
THEN when I knew he was ready, per his cues, then I put on padded underwear on him, at home. The Potty Scotty's brand.
Diapers still for going out.
Until he got to the 'stage' that he could hold it longer. It took TIME.

We did not force our kids with pottying.
That just makes things take longer.

AND, once he is ready for going out, with only underwear, I HIGHLY recommend getting a car potty.
I got mine via Amazon.
Put in the search words "on the go potty" and many will come up.
This is a LIFESAVER for pottying children and even once potty trained. Young kids, simply cannot hold their bladders for very long.
IF you are stuck, in traffic or someplace without a toilet or decent toilet, the car potty is a MUST HAVE.
My kids are 4 and 8, and we STILL used it.
It is NEEDED.

Now, for night time dryness and nap dryness, this is an entirely SEPARATE thing, from day time pottying.
Night time or nap time dryness, can take even up until 7 years old, to attain. And it is NORMAL. Because, it has to do with BIOLOGICAL and physiological development of the child's nerve connections/brain/bladder.
My daughter was 5 and still wearing night time diapers.
My son is 4 almost 5 and still wears diapers for nap/sleep time. He is still wet.
The child, does NOT get 'confused' about this, wearing diapers for sleep. Because you simply EXPLAIN to them, that their 'body' is not ready yet, to be dry during sleep.
It is normal.

Also get, a waterproof bed pad, to put directly under him, for sleep. This really makes clean up less of a pain. And the sheets don't get soiled, if there is an accident.

My daughter was 7, and still had sleep accidents. Normal.
NO biggie.
It is their physiological development.

Pull-Ups are USELESS for sleep time, because it does not hold much and leaks.

If you have success while he's naked, then that tells me he understands what he's supposed to do, and while he's thinking about it, he can do it. So, the next step is to get the potty to be top-of-mind for him when he's clothed. Take him to the potty every 15 minutes - I'm not kidding, set a timer - and make him try every time. It will get annoying really fast, but the trick is to make him think about it all the time! Pretty soon it will become a habit for him to use the potty even when he is wearing clothing. Just make him do it! Once it's a habit for him, you won't ever have to think about it again. Getting over this hurdle can be tough though - stick with it! Good luck.

Hi N. - it's probably easier to be aware of his body when he's nekkid. Give him a chance to grow and learn in stages. I understand how he feels like the pants are as secure as a diaper. You might consider just putting him in a pair of undies and letting him run around.

Also dont forget to take him to the potty at regular intervals so that he can stay dry for extended periods of time while you are at home. he's probably a bit too early in the game for him to be totally reliable.

I would tell his dad to get over it because the lack of clothes is obviously helping with the potty training. Do Pull-Ups while out and during sleep times just like you're doing. He's obviously not ready for that stage yet, but it will come. Potty training isn't something you can force, but when you find something that works, stick with it until he's ready for the next phase!! :)

I think one of the problems in the pull-up. Pull-ups are nothing but diapers that are pulled up rather than fastened at the side. If you don't think your child knows that, you're not giving him enough credit! Take the pull-ups off, throw them in the garbage and do it the old fashioned way. Take extra clothes, line his car seat with a plastic garbage bag and let him learn that this is the way it is from now on - no exceptions. Once he has had to sit in wet pants in a wet car seat, he'll think again about using the toilet. You will never teach him that lesson in a pull-up! As for at home, when he pees or poops in his pants, make him be the one to clean the mess and wash the clothes out in the sink. The more responsibility he has to take for his accidents, the fewer he will have.

I love your post because I am going through the exact same thing. We just started potty training almost 2 weeks ago and he will always make the toilet if he is naked even when he is sick and had loose stools. I tried timer and he just wanted the timer to go off and not even go near the potty. I have just put pants on when he goes out in public with lots of extra clothes. I have let him wear a diaper at night but I let it be his choice and it goes either way. He is dry at night but as soon as he wakes up and sits up he pees and I have not been able to get him fast enough to make it so I am okay with the diapers. I do not believe it is a sign your son isn't ready because he knows to go when naked, I think it is just getting him out of the habit of going into a diaper which I am sure pants reminds him of. I think it takes time and what I have read it takes 6 months average for potty training to be complete hopefully it will be less for both our boys. Good luck and I hope you have some success soon.

Hi,

I used the same method and experienced the same problem with my two boys, 3.5 & 2.5. The only thing I did do in addition to this is I used a timer, i set it every 20-30 minutes. Once the timer buzzed, both of my boys knew it was time to go practice, go to the bathroom. I think it helped them understand their bladder. After a full weekend of training, come Monday, they were pretty much set to go...of course it wasn't smooth, they did have accidents. But, with practice and consistency, they learned underwear and pants were not diapers. I hope this helps, stay strong, potty training boys is not hard. It's by far one of the toughest for me as a parent!!! Good Luck!!!