Potty Training - San Jose,CA

Updated on May 25, 2009
P.S. asks from San Jose, CA
6 answers

Twins - boy and girl - will be 3 in mid-August. Girl showed interest in potty-training, so we used the 3-day method and it worked!! She was wearing undies immediately, dry for naps, dry all night (as long as we take her to potty around 11pm). Very proud of herself, although she wants to take someone with her to potty when she's at home. No problems at daycare; boy still shows no interest.

Suddenly, she started pooping in her undies, both at home and at daycare. We have tried gently talking with her, trying to get her to understand how important it is to be a big girl. Over the last two weeks, that has changed to removing favorite toys (method they insist on at daycare), showing extreme disappointment, etc. Still no luck. She will remove herself from the area to fill her undies, then wants to change them.

The only thing I can think of is that she doesn't want to "spend the time" to poop in the bathroom and miss something that's going on in the rest of the family. Also, Mom is less inclined to want to get her up at 11pm to pee, so will put a diaper on her for nights (although the 3-day method opposes that). Could that have "undone" her training?

Please help. We (I) am tired of rinsing poopy undies and trying to get the stains out.

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S.H.

answers from San Francisco on

We used the 3-day Potty Training guide and had great success with it.

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

My biggest problem with what you have said is the response of the daycare to this problem. The punitive response of taking away toys is not appropriate in my opinion (how does taking away a favorite toy relate at all to the problem of pooping in her undies?) Showing extreme disappointment is also not a very effective method. The best course of action is to first of all realize this is not at all unusual. Many children have problems with pooping even after otherwise fully potty trained. Some of the factors you mention... brother not trained, etc. may have something to do with her problem, but in general I think you need to just realize she isn't fully ready to poop in the toilet yet, and it will come in time. In the meantime, be vigilant in encouraging her, but do it in a calm manner, without any type of punitive action or expressions of displeasure, as those tend to backfire and make the problem worse.

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H.J.

answers from San Francisco on

We are potty training our little girl (2) right now. We have a few very simple, one-piece, potties, and have been letting her put them wherever she wants. Usually, this means there is one in the bathroom, and one or two in the living room. One comes with us outside to play, so that we don't have to rush to the bathroom. Maybe try letting you girl keep a potty in the living room, so she doesn't have to "miss out"?

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L.B.

answers from Sacramento on

it could be the 7 month old. Or that 3 year old does want to. Most kids back slide. What I would do is to have a potty chart. then if they have a perfect week. Come up with award at the end of the week. Also if they have a potty mistake. Have them clean up the mess by dumping in the potty and washing out there clothes. get down and say this where the pee and poo go not in your pants. Try getting the movie potty power for boys and girls. I did that when my daughter did this. and boom no more accidents. kids love the songs and they get excited to go. it only 9.00 worth the investment.

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D.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Get her out of that day care. Any day care that advise negative reinforcement is not a place that a tiny child should be. If they advise you be mean to her at home, imagaine what she is dealing with when she is there! Find a daycare that uses positive reinforcement and cherishes her tiny spirit or pooping her pants may be the least of your problems.

She is still a little girl. And, as has been said, you are asking stuff from her that her brother gets rewarded for with positive strokes (pooping in his pants).

Put a diaper on her and tell her when she is ready to be a big girl again and wear pretty big girl pants, all of you will support her.

You can not win this battle, no matter how you treat her. You can't control her bowels- and she can. Don't fight it, just love her and give her lots of positive strokes when she does good things.

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

I'd say, walk her to the potty and make her go in it. You can tell when they need to go, and with both of my kids, I did have to take them by the hand at first and make them sit on the potty. I also did the 3 day potty training and it did work, but 2 year olds are still practically babies and you just have to constantly reinforce expectations, and not allow them to backslide, because they will try! And why shouldn't she, when her brother is getting his diaper changed and the attention that goes along with that? Why the different expectations for the boy and the girl? I'd say, it's not worth it to have a 3 year old in diapers - potty train him, and you'll have fewer issues with her! Peer pressure works! =)

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