Potty Training - Sugar Grove, NC

Hi--my son was the same way. We got him a Potty Watch (pottytrainingsolutions.com) that plays music when it is time to go potty. You set the timer for 30, 60, or 90 minutes. It was a huge success and the only thing that worked! My son loved wearing the watch. Best of all--it was about $14 for the watch!

C.

When mine did that, I gave it up and just waited a week or two and then tried it again.
Sounds like you are doing everything right, sounds like she doesn't realize what it feels like before she has to go.
Give it a rest and let her wear diapers for another week or two and then try it again and see if it is any better.

My middle son decided he didn't want to wear diapers any more when he was about 2 1/2. We told him that was okay - but if he "forgot" to potty in the toilet and wet his pants - he would have to wear his diaper again. He made the decision and stayed dry. In fact, a few weeks later he got a really bad stomach bug and we had to BEG him to wear a pull up to minimze the mess that was potential - if you know what I mean:) GOOD LUCK!

Hi K.,

What I found when training my two daughters was they would still pee in the pullups. It's like they knew they had "insurance" and didn't want to stop playing long enough to go potty. I finally gave up and put "real" panties on them. They didn't like the idea of being all wet and soon went potty. It was a little messy but worked wonders with my girls.
P.

I honestly DO NOT PUSH IT AT ALL! I have learned that they will do it when they truly want to do it. At that point I do keep encouraging. In our family that is right around the third birthday. And when they do decide they never look back and we barely ever have any accidents. (My daughter never had one and my son still does on a very very rare occasion if he drank too much before bed)

H.

K.-
I would suggest that you wait until she's ready. I have two boys, 7 and 3. My 7 year old didn't go to the potty until the age of 3 and I stressed so much over it. I am working with my three year old now and this time I realize that if the child is not ready, they will not do it!!! I am not stressing this time and will just be patient until he gets ready. I still work with him and even lets him wear underwear at times but he's just not ready. He does know how to go and does go at times, flushes, washes his hands and all and even tells me at times when he has to go but its just not persistent yet. My sister has a 3 year old who is very smart for her age and she thought she would go sooner than 3, wrong!!! You know she turned 3 in March and didn't go until after her 3rd birthday. My sister just put her on some big girl panties one day and she worked with her that one day, she's been going ever since. Just know that if they are not ready, be patient and wait!!! They will eventually do it.

AJ

Well here are two things that worked for me. Someone told me 5 days/$50 dollars; she said for 5 days do nothing but let your child wear underwear clean up any messes that happen without making a big deal about it and the $50 was to get your carpets cleaned after the 5 days. I did this & it sounds like that is what you are doing as well. I made my own modification to it. I went to the dollar store and bought a cheap kitchen timer. Set it for 30 mins. and every 30 mins I told my daughter it was time to go to the potty...didn't ask, told. Then if she had a successful trip she got a sticker. I put down those blue pads on her bed(like hospitals use) we stuck strictly to panties no switching back and forth because it seemed to confuse her of when she could go in her pants and when she couldn't. I told her when we were accident free we would go to the store and pick out a new doll(because that was her favorite thing). Took about two weeks and it was alot of work and she still had some accidents but if you can get yourself in the 30min habit of saying oh it's time to potty it does work! Good Luck!!

I have to agree to the "naked" potty training method. You really need to be committed to staying inside for a solid week and always having the potty close by so they can learn what to do when they get the sensation to go to the bathroom. Good luck -- she will catch on!!

I have potty trained 3 children and they were all very different. They all loved incentives, though, and I found that they worked for us. My daughter wanted to be big and wear the panties, but it took a while for her to get it. I stopped trying for a while, then I built it up to her by filling a jar with her favorite candy (Starburst) and promising a treat for every time she would try to pee. We put it on the calendar that next week on Tuesday, we are throwing away the diapers and only wearing panties. Of course she was all about getting the candy and I started wishing I had a jar of something smaller and less chewy than Starburst! However, after a day or 2 of that, we started rewarding only when she actually peed. We also kept a chart on the fridge and she would put a sticker on it every time she tried and I would act like she just won the Olympics or something. She loved the stickers as much as the candy. I was worried that I would have to do that forever, but it only lasted a week and she was trained. The poop took a little longer, but she only had a few accidents before she figured it out. The other thing that I was able to do as a SAHM was - I concentrated only on her and the potty. No laundry, cooking, etc. for a week. I even sent the other children to their grandparents! We spent A LOT of time just hanging out in the bathroom and reading books. I'm not usually that nice and attentive, so she enjoyed that. And I know this is long, but one more thing: don't get too freaked out about it. She can sense your anxiety!!

This may sound strange, but with my oldest I stopped putting pants on him at home during the day (any pants). Yes, my little man ran around the house with no pants on! We then worked toward "being a big enough boy to wear pants"(if you aren't embarrassed by it, she won't be). he would go to the potty every time (until I put pants on). This got him into the habit, and reinforced that you don't do it in your pants. I used pull ups when we went out in public and took him to the potty periodically while out.
We worked on modesty after we got the potty training down!

your daughter probably does know the urge to pee before it is too late. She will get it. The same thing happened with all 3 of my kids. I just never considered them potty trained until they told me they had to go and then made it to the potty. But once they were able to do that they had very few accidents. Don't give up! Be consistant and set a timer if yolu need to. Be positive and it will come sooner than you think.

Hi, i am a mother of two girls both grown and a grandmother of two little girls. i learned that the longer you wait the quicker they learn, instead of 6 months at your daughter's age, maybe 6 weeks if you wait another 6 months. have you tried pullups? I just don't think she is old enough to read the signals that her bladder is sending to her brain. good luck.

Dont worry too much, most kids are day trained by the age of three, and it can take until age four before they are fully night trained.

We started potty training around 2, but I quickly realized she wasnt ready so a couple of months later we tried again. I kept a bag with little prizes from the dollar store in it, and everytime she would go on the potty she got a sticker. After so many stickers she would get a prize. We kept a potty training sticker chart (that you can print out for free from several online sites) and she got to put a little sticker on it by herself.

When I was ready to take her out of pull ups I put her in panties with a thin panty liner in them. This way if she did pee a bit she wouldnt ruin her panties and I just had to change out a panty liner. When I started with this, she was completly day trained in two weeks. By the time she was 32 months she was trained during naps and now she only wears a pull up to bed.

Some things that helped get her *ready* for potty training were books geared toward her that even had "potty flushing sounds" and we read those and she loved watching Elmo's Potty. I also let her run around naked in the warm weather and kept a small potty in the livingroom (if you have a play room thats a good place-just where ever she is the most). This gave her a chance to quickly take matters into her own hands. Did she pee on the floor? Yup. But thats par for the course!

So good luck and keep patient, she'll get the concept soon, and then you'll be amazed at how different life with a potty trained toddler can be ;D.

Sounds to me like she's not completely ready. They have to be able to tell you when they need to go at least 8 times out of 10. My almost 4 year old still tries to hold it sometimes if she is busy, but when I say "looks like you need to go pee pee" she'll be like yeah yeah, OK, I know. A child who doesn't recognize the urge to go and repeatedly has accidents is too young to wear underpants. My daughter is incredibly smart but didn't pee on the potty on her own all of the time until she was 2 years and 7 months old. You can still put her on the potty a couple of times a day, just don't get frustrated when she has an accident and expect more from her than she can handle.

If I were you I would definitely stick with the panties regardless. They say that the most important factor in potty training is consistancy. It might be confusing to her to wear panties, have an accident, then wear a diaper and have that false sense of security. I took the same approach as you when my daughter repeatedly had accidents. I insisted that she wore the wet panties for a while before I cleaned her up. She was completely trained by her second birthday (night time, naptime, etc.) I used a reward system though. She got "pee pee" and "poo pee" candy. Two for a pee pee and three for a poo pee. This was ONLY for when she did it ON THE POTTY. She would ask when she had an accident and I would just be firm that she couldn't have it unless it was in the potty. You can choose your own reward system like stickers, a new DVD, toy, etc.

Good luck! It sounds like she's just about there!!

Hi K.,

I would be very careful not to let this become a control issue between you and your little one. If she senses that you are frustrated than she,too, will become frustrated. Sometimes frustration turns into anger and then into a control issue---especially for two year olds who want to control everything!

One thing that I would really encourage is that you don't respond negatively at all when she pottys in her pants. Just make a comment like "oops, I guess you didn't make it, we'll have to try next time."

I would also take her shopping and let her pick out some character underwear. Make it a character that she really enjoys. Then explain to her, "okay, now when you wear these you will have to do your best not to get 'Elmo' wet, cuz' he really doesn't like to be wet. (I even let my little one look in the boys' underwear when we couldn't find her character in the girls'---and in desperation, I made computerized iron-on transfers and ironed my son's favorite character on white underwear when we couldn't find his choice!!)

I really, really liked Beth M.s response to you. I would let your little girl pick out some stickers that SHE likes. I'd be careful to explain that the only way she gets those stickers is if she goes potty in the potty.

Together decorate a box and fill it with little "treats"...maybe a Choc. kiss, or a little toy, or bubbles etc. Explain that she can only pick ONE toy or pc. of candy when she fills her sticker chart up.

Then, start easy, make the first sticker chart with only two spaces to put stickers...so that she only has to go to the potty twice in the potty to earn a treat.

Next time, put three spaces she must fill before earning a treat etc etc. When you are confident that she is completely in control, then make the chart with many more spaces for stickers and make the prize something big that she has helped you pick out in the toy department. When she has has earned all those stickers, she gets one last prize.

As she is earning that last big prize be sure to mention to her often that you are so proud of because she has earned the biggest (and last) prize. (That way she gets used to the idea that she isn't going to get a prize for the rest of her life)

The biggy in all of this is not to react negatively to accidents. This gives her the idea that "if mommy isn't paying attention to me, I just mess my pants and mommy pays lots of attention--even if it isn't happy attention, at least it's attention" and it also keeps the negative feelings associated with bathrooming down to a minimum. The last thing you want is for her to associate bathrooming with "being bad".

Most of all, remember, she is still just a baby and she really wants to please her mommy!

Good luck!

K.,
I have been a preschool teacher 30 years and also am an aunt. As for potty trainning, they are sll different. But you said she is smart and sounds like she is, I would just keep trying. But you might tell her if she wants to wear her big panties first she has to be a big and start telling you when she needs to go before she is wet. Asked her if she likes wearing wet clothes and see what she says. Then again sometimes you can just wait a couple of months and it will take care of itself. I tell some of the parents at preschool sometimes it is just like they have to wait until the child gets ready to flip the switch. Godd luck and I wish you the best.

She may be psychologically ready, but it sounds like she is not physically ready. Potty learning is most successful (so I'm told and have read) closer to 36 months. She most likely cannot "feel" she is about to go until she's already going or gone. I wouldn't make her feel bad about peeing in her diaper or panties, because it will only hurt her self-esteem and not help anything. Talk to her doctor too, but I think she is just not physically mature enough to feel and control her bladder. My daughter is 30 months and she has asked to poop on her potty once and that is it. She's not able to tell me she "needs" togo, so I'm waiting for her 3rd birthday to even start trying. Good luck.

She will eventually tell you she has to go. She is only in her early 2's. My son did the same exact thing.
That's phase 1. Don't worry at all! Phase 2 is coming, it will just take a few weeks.
His daycare teacher started by taking him every hour, even if he didn't have to go. Then when I got him home, I would put him in big boy underwear. It made things go faster, cause they sure don't like feeling wet!
It started out with him just peeing in them, but in about 3 days, he would tell me he had to potty, but it was always after the fact. That lasted a week tops.
Ever since, he's been telling me, and accidents are less and less.
He wears underwear all the time now except for bedtime and long trips out or in the car. He doesn't even need one for his 2 hour naps!

Be patient. She will start telling you soon. Try letting her pick out her own big girl panties, and get plenty, cause they will be used quickly at first. You are well on your way, just keep on. Consistency will help her the most!

Hi K.,

I know it can be frustrating, but don't be too h*** o* yourself or on your daughter. She is still young to be potty trainging so be glad that she has expressed some interest. I also have a two year old daughter (almost 25 months) and she started showing an interest in potty training at a very young age. Does your daughter stay dry at night and/or during nap time? I have been told that that is one way to determine if they are ready to train (but certainly not the only sign).

With our daughter, we started letting her sit on the potty at less than a year - not to try to train her, just so that she would not be scared of it sinced we did not have or plan on getting a small child potty. From 1 year she has be off an on using the potty. We have had many ups and downs in the process, but have just tried to be patient.

By this past Christmas, she was consistently staying dry at night and when napping. We talked about wearing "big girl underwear" and bought her some. At first we put it on over her diaper, then under her diaper (when we were going out or she was going to "school". At home we were doing just the underwear/panties. I would then watch her carefully for signs that she needed to go or suggest it to her. Then her teachers said it was fine to wear just her underwear and they would change her if she had an accident. She was doing really well.

Then in February things started changing, she started protesting going to the potty, saying she didn't need to go and crying at the suggestion (at home only) and I tried not to force her as I wanted it to be a positive experience. She also started pooping in her underwear which she had not done in the prior two months. We would go a few days with only 1 or no accidents to a couple of days with 5 or 6. It was very discouraging especially since she (nor I) wanted to get the diapers back out. I think some of it was she became a little more used to using the potty and then would be distracted playing and would tell me right after she went or right as she started.

At school it worked for them to let her pick out a sticker each time she went to the potty. At home, once I knew that she could do it because she had been, when she kind of went backwards, we started offering her a special treat - like 3 M&Ms or Skittles and going potty was the only time she got that treat. That worked for a little while, but my child doesn't appear to be real reward motivated at this point. We tried switching up the treats to keep some variety and make it more interesting for her.

If I know that it is about time that she should need to go, now I sometimes have a couple of her little plastic or stuffed animal that sit on the sink and cheer her on telling (in different voices)her things like "Way to go" or "good job" as she pees or poops and when she is done they may give her a kiss or she can give them a high five. I also have pretended to put her on the potty upside down or sideways like I don't know how to do it. She laughs and then I get her to tell me the right way to do it and she will sit. Once she is sitting she generally goes. The other thing that I have done is let her show her dolls/animals how to use the potty and even hold them over it so they can have thier turn. She then gets to wipe their little bottoms and it becomes kind of fun (but there was a short point that she only wanted her animals to go).

She still has some accidents especially when I am not there or she is very tired. But I think we are on the right path again. We have just gone 4 days/5 nights with no accidents including two days at school.

I hope some of the things that worked for us will be helpful for you. You may need to keep reminding her simply becuase she is busy doing other things and doesn't want to stop playing or gets distracted from the feeling of needing to go especially if it is not so new. I still ask/suggest that my daughter go every 2-4 hours (if I do it much more than that she gets discouraged becuase she seems to feel like we were just there) or before nap time, bed time, bath time or going out and after waking up. When we are out if she has not been in a while we have to go check out and see what kind of potty is where we are which makes it kind of a game (right now it is almost always at my suggestion).

My biggest suggestion is to be patient (and remember many people arenot lucky enought to even start this process for several months to a year later than you are) and try to keep it positive for you and her. Make it fun and really praise the good, even if she tells you but has an accident. Tell her that she had an accident, but that it was really good for her to let you know that she needed to go. You can always tell her that accidents happen, but lets try to tell mama little bit sooner so that her big girl underwear/panties and clothes don't get wet or messy the next time. If you decided to give a special treat, make sure you give it to her when she uses the potty and not just when she tells you she needs to go (unless you want feel that would help her communicate it better).

Good luck.

I am a firm believer in rewards. The trick, however, is to find something that motivates her! My daughter did the same thing as yours, however we had 2 big lifestyle changes, and it set her back. So, to make a long story short, she was just over 3 before she was completely potty trained. So, be patient, it will come. Finally, we started a reward system. The hardest part was finding something that really motivated her. We ended up getting a fish tank. In the beginning, she got a sticker each time she went potty. Then we would get something for the tank. I would go and buy decorations (pretty rocks, plants, statues, etc) and she would get to pick one and put it in the tank. We started off with 1 fish. Then, as her understanding grew, she would have to get 2, 3, 4,etc. stickers in order to get fish, or things for the tank. It worked! Once she understood that each time she went potty, she got a sticker, and each sticker meant something special (ie. fish tank)she got excited, and was totally potty trained in no time.

She is actually still pretty young. Most kid potty train by 3. However alot of theem still need reminding especially when they are playing. The best thing is to just keep reminding her to go pee. Take her every 45 minutes to an hour and eventually she will start goign on her own. I would not switch back to diapers as she is happy in panties and you do not want to regress. My son is about to turn three. he has been potty trained for a few months and usually goes by himself but when he gets really interested in something he still needs reminding.
.

I was a SAHM for 16 years. Now, I'm finishing my first year in a registered nursing program. For me potty training was one of the most trying times I had. I started my first to early and it ended up being a nightmare. I'd say use a timer if you have to and help her remember as much as possible but, I recently learned that a child doesn't gain complete control over bladder muscles until the age of 4 to 5. My second was trained in 2 weeks and within one week my oldest was completed, he was almost 5. Just be patient because can be harder on you than her. And keep in mind when the next one comes regression is very likely. Goodluck, A.

Human Anatomy & Physiology teaches that the nerves that extend to the bladder and anus don't become mylenated untill about 24 months ( this is what allows us to start potty learing.) While this mylenation makes allow the messages (bladder full...or pressure in my bottom..the ques we use to know when to go) to make the long distance travel to the brain before its to late. with out mylenation the nerve impulses just don't get to the brain fast or are lost on the way in other words children under two don't have the ability to feel the need in time. So it's possible that your DD is just now getting these new sensations and she my not have combined them with the potty idea yet... this is a learning process....thats why all the succsess stories happen around two and a half ...give her time and she will; just keep up the encouragement and ( your hopes) ! we all get there eventually.. P.S. I know you may have hear from other mothers that claim their child was trained before two I can scentifically assure you that the child was not potty trained ( or learned) only the mother.

My daughter is 2 and a half and we have been going through almost the exact same thing. Chloe began her interest really early at 16 months, my husband and I RAN to the store and bought a potty and began training.....it lasted a little over a week and then she was over it. We have ping ponged with the whole thing many times over the past year, sometimes it will last longer than others, but so far she still gets side tracked and ends up not interested once again. My advice is don't push it and just bear with the back and forth of interest. I think it is much more frustrating for us if we have the idea that this is it and they will finally be trained. I will rejoice the day she "gets it," but until then I will deal. Hope it helps to know there is someone else going through the same thing.
God bless

Remember, your two year old is not used to thinking about whether or not she has to go pee. All her life she has just gone (in her diaper) and it hasn't been an issue.
There is nothing wrong with asking her every 30 - 45 minutes (as you are doing) whether she has to go or not, this will help get her used to thinking about it.
When she does have to go instead of sending her in by herself go with her so that when she does go in the potty you can make a big issue about it, clapping and cheering and letting her know how proud you are of her. Children love their parents to be proud of them and this will help her to try to start thinking before she just goes in her panties.
Good luck, it's worth the work.

Keep doing what you're doing, you're on the right track. I have a 2 yrs and 9 months old little girl who did the same thing. I started with the whole concept at 18 months just to get her use to idea of sitting on the potty and like your daughter she would go but wouldn't ever tell me. When she gets the whole thing down in her mind coupled with the words to say it at the appropriate time, believe me she will tell you! It's just a process they have to go through. You're doing good! Keep letting her wear the big girl panties and watch her liquid intake and look for signs that she has to go. My daughter got it down pat at 2 years and 4 months! You'll be sighing with relief real soon!

K. I'm a sahm of 3, my youngest also a girl was the only one that did the same as your daughter. After trying everything else I tried bribery. I was told by everyone you should not bribe them but it worked in my case. I put a jar filled with scooby doo sucker (her fav.) on the shelf over the potty out of reach but in site. She only got one if she told me she had to potty and actually did. It took about a week. She is now 3 and completely potty trained. I don't know if this will help your child or not but as a mom who has been there... I wouldn't give up just yet. Good luck!!

K.,
We did the "naked potty training" with my daughter as well. She was 2 at the time. We did it for 2 weeks straight were she did not leave the house, you have to be comitted to being in the home for 2 weeks straight with your child. She had a couple of accidents but did really well. I think with the pull ups she could not "feel the urge" but with nothing down there she started to recognize the urge that she had to go. After the 2 weeks she would wear big girl panites during the day and we did pull ups at night until she could make it thru the night dry on a consistant basis. I hope this helps

Hi,
I just went through that with my daughter who will be 2 1/2 next month. I did the pull ups, the big girl undies but nothing worked EXCEPT a two day committment to letting her drink as much as she wanted to and put her on the potty about 15 mins after she drank alot and let her run around the house with nothing on her except a tee shirt or a dress. Everytime she went pee in the potty we did a dance and I praised her to the sky. We also did a sticker chart, stickers are cheap at a dollar store and the chart I made myself. From start to finish the whole this took 6 weeks, I took a week off as I was frustrated and then the next week she got it. She is ready and you know she is, don't put a diaper back on her as she loves the feeling of being older and bigger. Diapers are a step back. Go for it, you k now you can do it mom! Good luck, you can ask me any q's if you like, I"m a half SAHM too, I take her to work with me also.
H.

I was lucky with my daughter...so wanted to do everything I did when she was that age. So, I had her "go" EVERYTIME I went to the bathroom. If I brushed my teeth, or "went" myself, if I showered, literaly any excuse I had to be in the bathroom.
This worked great for her but I do realize how lucky I was.
Good luck!

It sounds like in theory your daughter is ready, but in practice she's not quite ready to read her body's signals yet. You can try letting her run around naked in the house to see if she becomes more aware of the sensations of having to pee--that worked for my son, but he was much older, 34 months. Or you can just wait a little bit and try underwear again in a couple of months. Just be sure to be matter of fact about it when talking about it with your daughter. Let her know that our bodies learn these things in time and you guys can try again later when maybe her body will be as ready as she is. Don't make it sound like it's her fault.

We did try to "train" our son at 30 months, but it lasted a day and a half before he was over it, so we told him he couldn't wear his underwear until he was ready to go pee in the potty. He was fine with that and once he and his body were ready, we went straight to underwear and he has had very few accidents. Good luck!

She's 2 years old, that's why you still have to remind her. If she were in a daycare, they would be sending her to the bathroom on somewhat of a set schedule. That's just part of it. You need to send her every hour. She'll get the hang of it. It just takes time. She'll start to realize it on her own in time, but for now, you are her reminder. My daughter still needed reminding at 4 years. She would get caught up in playing and not think about it at all. It's no big deal. I would work on rewarding her if she goes all day without an accident. Nothing big, but some sort of celebration. Then you can celebrate after naps when her diaper is dry. I was amazed how motivated my daughter was with rewards.

Good luck and don't give up!

Hi K.,
I understand your delima. I found that rewards work, some treat that you usually do not give her. For example if M&M's is something that is not a usaul treat, give her three M&M's every time she uses the potty. Believe me treats work and this does not start bad eating habpits.

It's worth a try for you.

Hi K.,
Don't give up! If you go back and forth too much, they think you can always go back to the diaper (or pee in your pants, and not hold it in until you go potty) My son is 2 years old and 2 months. He is at about the same place in the process (wears diapers only at night time). I still have some times when I tell him to go on the potty without him asking (morning, before and after the nap, before going to bed and before leaving the house) and some times in the middle of the day if he hasn't gone in a few hours. Having a set routine on when he goes helps me remember. He still has accidents here and there, but they are fewer and smaller. The rest of the time (about half the time or slightly less) he tells us he has to go. Also at times, he will just say the word for going potty, and then tell us that "no" he doesn't have to go... I have learned with time that "yes", he does have to go in those instances. So I would say, keep holding strong, do what you can to make it work, and it will get better with time
Good luck!