Potty Training - Hollywood,FL

Hi S., I kind of had the same problem with my son who is now 3 yr. old. Kamran had a difficult time with going in the potty so one of my friends suggested giving him treats and stickers when he did go on the potty. Get a pkg of his favorite character stickers and make it a big deal when he does go on the potty. We made a potty song when he did go on the potty and included the entire family. He received stickers and a treat. This encouraged him to go on the potty and he looked forward to having the celebration. When we were trying to get him on the potty we read books while he was on there just to see if he would be ready to go yet. In the beginning you will have to do it more often just to get him use to the feeling of having to go. My son then had a problem that he would wet himself after being potty trained while playing outside. He just did not want to leave playing to go to the potty. What we did was have him go outside in the backyard to pee and he loved it. This took care of the accidents while playing. I hope this helps!
L.

Hi S.!

How close is he to his brothers? Maybe they could help out especially if he is the type of child who wants to be doing what the "big kids" do. Maybe Austin could try and get him to go and then let him play a game or read a book with him if he actually goes. My daughter, and later my nephew, both needed someone else to do the rewarding and make a big deal about them being "so big", just the encouragement and rewards from my husband and I (and my brother and his wife for my nephew) just wasn't doing it for them.

Good Luck!

M.

You've probably read a ton but I found The Pocket Idiot's Guide to Potty Training Problems invaluable with potty training my son(despite its name) http://www.amazon.com/Pocket-Idiots-Training-Problems-Gui...
It's addresses many different issues kids have with potty training--why they have them and how to overcome them. Every kid is different and this book really explains and helps--all using positive reinforcement--I highly recommend it!

Could there be something in the bathroom he is afraid of/ doesn't like? Some children are afraid of the sound of flushing toilets, my child was afraid of the heatlamp Grandma and Grandpa had, and refused to use the bathroom in their home that had the heatlamp. If that is not the issue, than he may need to be more responsible for the 'job' of pottying in the potty, up to and including doing most of the clean-up after himself.

First and foremost: relax! As one pediatrician advises: children seldom graduate high school still wearing diapers... Seriously - being strong-willed and opinionated will be very good for him, when he is deciding the "right" thing to do when ALL his friends are busily jumping off cliffs... however - for now - (and - pretty much throughout his childhood) it will be a "battle" for you, unless you learn to - as they say - "pick your battles"... WHY does he have to potty train now? (I am a gramma - and - believe me - I KNOW it is a royal (smelly) pain - but - what is the issue?) He probably is enjoying hanging at home with M., too! And - it will soon be over, no?

Let's see - generally there was SOME motivator that the reluctant potty kids I've known finally decided THEY wanted to be potty trained... I might have been play dates where they were the last - and - quite unkindly laughed at that finally motivated them... For one of my grandchildren, he FINALLY decided he'd like to play soccer - and M. (wisely) said, "NO WAY are you playing soccer in diapers!" Said grandchild opted to sit out one more season (in diapers, of course) before choosing to potty 'train'. I put train in quotes, because kids that wait till THEY are ready tend to be in diapers one day and full-fledged potty goers the next. (Thank heavens, no?)

SOMEBODY has a book about the last leaf on the tree that was afraid to fall (theory being some kids fear letting go of ANY bodily emissions)... It's a good book and could help... (wouldn't hurt, I suppose)... The librarian will know what I am talking about...

And - heck - make sure your sons knows it is HIS problem - and that his odors are offensive to you - and - change him at YOUR convenience (not his) and - well - be glad this too shall pass!

I predict before the year is out (2009, I mean) he wil finally be done with being a baby. Don't waste any motivating moments to point out that, as a diaper-wearing baby he is not quite old enough for that activity - but - DON'T bother punishing or shaming - because - strong-willed kids are too smart for that!

Happy parenting - and - as the happy mother of 14 and 6-yr olds, you are well aware - this too shall pass!

I'm from the country, so what I'm about to say is 100% normal for my world, whereas, many others might think it is uncivilized. Anyway, have you tried teaching to pee outside? I haven't gone through potty training yet, but I know other moms who started being successful by trying that route. Good luck!

Have you tried asking him why he is so averse to using the bathroom?
Like the previous poster mentioned... there may be something about the actual bathroom experience that upsets him (but I doubt it's that if he has no problems taking a bath, washing his hands, or brushing his teeth -- or playing with the toilet paper-LOL). Maybe it's something else, like thinking part of his body is going away (I've heard of some kids who felt that way... mine never had that issue, but some apparently do). Perhaps he can tell you what the issue is. Or show you? Take all the pressure off him ("We are not going to use the potty. We are not going to flush the toilet. We are not going to DO anything except walk in there. Please show me/tell me what you don't like about the bathroom.") Maybe he'll be able to point out something that you haven't picked up on.

Based on his "playtime" in there, I'd have to assume that it is somehow directly related to the toilet itself. Is it cold? Is the seat too big and he feels like he's falling in? Is the seat one of those puffy/comfy ones that makes an airy squeak sound when he sits on it? Is it really BIG? (they come in all kinds of sizes... some are really tall) Does he want someone sitting on the tub side next to him for reassurance? Does he want privacy? Would he rather use YOURS?
If you can figure out why he doesn't want to use it, you can figure out how to help him past it.
Has he ever had a successful trip to the potty (little potty chair or regular toilet?). It might be that he just needs to do it once, to see that it doesn't hurt him or bite him or whatever it is that he is "afraid" of. If you think that is the case, then don't let it be a power struggle, just take him by the hand and tell him what is going to happen (you know, don't use words that sound like you're asking him for his permission... tell him what is going to happen. "Logan, in 5 minutes we are going to go to the bathroom and you are going to sit on the potty while I read you a story. After we're done, we will ____"(something fun, or eat a piece of candy, whatever). Then ignore him for the next couple minutes until the 5 minutes are up. Then go get him, take him by the hand (or pick him up if you suspect he will physically protest) and help him out of his bottoms and onto the potty. If you have a step-stool he might like to use, let him. Then sit with him on the tub side and read him his favorite story... or a brand new one he hasn't heard before. When he has finished going pee or poop, congratulate him, help him wash up, then go do/get the "reward". The end. Then no pressure about the rest of the day. Maybe after a few days of this once a day, he will not protest and you can begin the "normal" practices of training.
Plan ahead before you try this though.. what clothes do you want him in (just a diaper?), do you have the book in mind-- take it and put it on the bathroom counter, Do you have a quick simple reward for him (a lifesaver, a piece of gum, a piggy back ride around the living room)?
Just remember to keep your cool/calm. If you are matter of fact you will not "traumatize" him. It will be no different than taking him to the doctor and sitting still for them to take his temp. If you give in (or let yourself get all worked up and upset too) then he wins and you lose.
Good luck.