Potty Training - Wray,CO

Boys have a tendency to be afraid of going num 2 , my son didnt want to either, he was afraid. He is now 18 , but eventually he will go, You might try staying in there with him . And dont force the issue, he will go when he is ready. Good luck. G....

Definitately time for him to start cleaning himself. Get lots of wipes, empty plastic bags for throwaway stuff, and tell him from from now on he will be cleaning up himself. Of course this is more work for you because you have to NOT show frustration while you can't breath because it stinks and while you show him the parts all down his legs where poop has smeared while he was taking his undrwear off, BUT after a week or two he might finally saw, "mom I don't like doing this. It's gross." and at that very moment my friend you reply, "yeah it would be much easier to clean up after going potty on the toilet instead wouldn't it."

Your bit sounds just like my son. I refused pullups any more but he didn't care at all. He started cleaning up after himself, including flushing poop from jnderwear down the toilet and in just over a week he decided he would use the toilet to poop in!!! It was totally worth all that time inthe bathroom telling him where he neede to clean himself. I refused to clean him any more!!!!

what we finally did was put a little pop up tent around them while they sat on the potty and thats what finally worked for us after that it was never a problem but it was weird like they wanted to hide while they were going

Hi B., Sounds like you're going to have to do the "take charge" thing. It's hard but Moms and Dads need to be in charge of the kids not the other way around. This includes the potty-thing as well. Right now he's running the show so Mom and Dad need to get tough. I would suggest you try the cold hose on his bare bottom every time he decides to go in his pants. We did that with our then 3 yo. It only took about two or three times of spraying him off with a cold hose outside before he realized we were serious about him no longer going in his pants. It should be cold and offer a bit of a sting to make a good impression:) Blessings, L.

This sounds like my youngest son. He wasn't potty trained until he was a month away from turning five. I too tried everything to try and motivate him to go. We had a trip to Disney planned and I was Not going to bring diapers and wipes with me. So in the end about a month before our trip, I just put him in underwear.
The first few days he refused the potty and went in his pants. It was yucky and I'll admit a pain to keep having to clean him up and change his clothes. I tried very hard not to show my frustration and keep things positive. I'd say things like "Oh no, looks like you had an accident. Lets go into the bathroom and get cleaned up." I also reminded him that he needed to try and sit on the potty. During those few days I think we may have run out of clean underwear and pants, and he did spend a couple hours running around in only his shirt while I did laundry.
But after those few days he started trying to use the potty and by the end of the week he was using the potty all the time, with almost no accidents.

I have nine chilldren, including six boys. I have learned that forcing the issue never works. If I were you, I'd buy the big sized diapers, put them on him all day and tell him that when he is ready/wants to use the toilet, then he can wear underwear. You can also remind him that he cannot go to pre-school or Kindergarten until he is potty trained. But that's it. I wouldn't do anything else. Just ignore it and go back to your regular life. Your craziness is only making things worse. If he is not in the "spotlight" and not getting criticized, etc. for messes, he will likely desire it on his own in time. Good luck! (I had one who did this, but it was a girl. I finally let it go and around 4 1/2 she just did it on her own).

Is he constipated possibly? My first son was so hard to potty train. I felt much of the problem was him playing outside in the summer and not wanting to come in the house. When winter came and he was not having so many accidents I kept finding streaks in his underware. I took him to the doctor. It turned out he was having leakage because of constipation. I didn't realize he wasn't using the bathroom every day. The doctor had us use about a tablespoon of Miralax every day added to his milk. We had to have our son sit on the toilet after breakfast and other meals until he was in the habit and regular again. At this point, you just want him to go every day, rather than days at a time. The Miralax will help with that.

My nephew got constipated so badly that he would hold it in because his poor bum hurt so badly from previous hard stools, tears, etc. He was so hard to potty train because of the pain. He would hold it and hold it and make the problem worse.

Since your son can go on with his activities and do his business he's probably not in pain. Maybe you can try some Miralax added to his morning drink each day to get him regular, and try finding something that he REALLY wants. You will not be able to motivate him until you can find something that he is truly excited about. Maybe a trip to a special place, getting a special movie, toy, etc after he uses the bathroom for a full week and keeps using the toilet....Do you have a zoo, an aquarium, or can think of anything else that might get him excited to earn?

I think your son is in a big power struggle with you and may be angry about something. Have you tried backing off and just leaving him alone, and either make him wear diapers (no pullups) that he has to change by himself or making him walk around the house half naked (waist down). I personally would pick the diapers.

I too have a 4 year old that I've been struggling to potty train for the past year. It is hard. When he turned four the dr. just said to put him in underwear and don't go back. He said to do this for 2-3 months before he would try another approach. We have been doing it for 2 months (he wears a pullup to school, church, and playgroup and at night, but other than that he is in underwear) I have put up with mess after mess and loads of laundry. He finally started pooping in the toilet just last week (after a bribe to go to the family cabin....which he did not go, but is still working at another trip) It is a long process. Just when I think things are going well he has several accidents. Keep trying. Keep using different approaches (treats, stickers, bribes for outings, taking away something he loves.....blanket, tv time, friend time? ) Just keep trying and know that you're not alone. I have no deadline for my son to be trained, I just hope it's in the next 1 1/2 years before he starts kindergarten. Good Luck

It sounds to me like he's Stressed Out. I recognize this because I did the same thing I was stressing about it and in turn he was stressing about it. The more I relaxed the more he did. Stressed is not a good state of mind to learn a new skill. I would take some time off, and then start again. Here is something to consider learning to use the potty is like learning to play the piano you wouldn't scold a child or take things away if he played a wrong note when learning to play twinkle little star, you just keep showing him were the right note is until he gets it. It takes time and practice. I know as a mom you just want to get on to the next stage were he is going in the toilet all the time. Take a deep breath and put yourself in his shoes. When the benefit of doing it outweighs the benefit of not doing it he will do it more and more. It has been quite the learning experience for me as I have been working with my son on this for over a year he is 4 now and finally he is doing it, he still has an occasional accident, I talk to him about how he is going to make it next time. Ask him what he can do to make it ultimately it is his responsibility and he will do it when he's ready. There are several things I have learned along the way. First one was I was being a push over I had to toughen up, in following through with what I said and with having him practice.
One thing you can do is give him a choice in the morning do you want to wear a diaper or big boy underwear, most likely he will choose the diaper or pull up let him know that either way Mommy is done cleaning up his poop. If you make a mess you are responsible for cleaning it up. So then when he goes poop in underwear or diaper he will be the one to clean himself up. You can do this different ways, at first I gave him a bag and wipes in the bathroom and showed him how to do it. I did not do it for him but I did help. The next time I helped a little too, the third time he was on his own to do it. I asked him if he wanted me to stay in the bathroom with him or give him some privacy to do it. Sometimes he wanted me there and sometimes he didn't. If I did stay it was under the condition that he actually did it and didn't just sit and wine and cry and not do it. I learned through trial and error and time. I would cave sometimes and clean it for him, that didn't do either of us any favors I realize now. He is not going to do a perfect clean up job, you just have to let that go for a while. Give him a bath that night. If he is anything like my Son he will fight this big time, he hated cleaning up poop, it was a great motivator. I would talk to him about it and say man that was not fun ha, it would be a lot funner to just go poop in the toilet. Leave it at that.
I learned somewhere to always end the conversation on what you want rather than what you don't want because the last thing they hear will stick in there brain longer. I have liked what I have learned form doctor Phil's show so that's another resource.
So I would do the choice between diaper and underwear for a couple of days, then I would tell him one night, tomorrow you get to wear big boy underwear all day and you will practice so you can get better and better at it. If you want to and you think it might help him you can keep giving him a the choice. I wish I could have all the money back that I spent on pull-ups, they really are just a glorified diaper. I had to be willing to do the work with the underwear. I have also thrown out a good number of underwear because I had my times when it was not worth it to clean them. Even with the underwear, if he poops in it he cleans it. I showed him how to dump the poop in the toilet then put the underwear in a bucket with some cleaner rub it together to get the poop off I do help some with this process, put it in the washing machine the whole bit he will get the idea that it's a lot easier to just do it in the toilet. Then of Course use lot's of praise when he does use the toilet, and tell him that its so fun to keep your underwear clean and dry by going in the toilet then you have more time to play. I am proud of you, are you proud of you too.
Another thing that worked really well was Timing he gets to practice first thing in the morning, then I would check with him the next hour if he said he didn't need to go I would let another hour roll around at the second hour he had to practice even if he didn't think he needed to go. I would give him treats when he went, and my idea of a treat is not candy, but other things that he likes like one mini ritz peanut butter cracker. I do agree with the idea though that we need to get away from using food as a reward, really praise and hugs are enough reward, he will get to were he is proud of himself for doing it and that is the biggest reward. Then when he misses he feels bad about it because he let himself down then I tell him it's OK you are learning you'll make it next time. I also used rewards like he loves superman so if he went in the potty 3 times in a row he got one pair of superman underwear, then as he got better he would get that reward for going all day in the potty. You could give a bigger reward too after he has done really well for awhile my neighbor gave me this idea the potty fairy leaves him a special toy with a note saying how proud the fairy is of you for doing so well. When he has accidents and you see that he is trying still praise the effort. This is my experience I hope it helps you. Be patient we all learn knew skills at our own rate, keeping a positive attitude will be worth Gold over time, and teach him that he can be positive too even when he misses. You might need to go into your room and scream into a pillow sometimes. You can be firm without being negetve. Another idea is when he has an accident say firmly you do that in the toilet take him by the hand and lead him to the toilet he has to sit there for a few minutes, while he is sitting there be lighter again and say next time you have to go pee or poop were are you going to go? My husband made up a fun song that he sings with the kids, it goes "pee and poop go in the potty never never never on the floor pee and poop go in the potty. Then they fill in the blank pee and poop go in the ____ they say it and it's lots of fun, you can do a verse with never in your underwear or pull up. never in your ______.
One last thing at night he still wears a diaper he got good at going potty and didn't want to wear a diaper to bed I told him if he wakes up with a dry diaper then he can try that the next night. Sometimes he wears his underwear over the diaper as a compromise.
There could be something medical going on too.
Good Luck to you I hope this helps

Google "encopresis" and see if it applies to your son.

I did the potty training thing two ways for my two boys. The first one I used the book "Potty Training in a Day". It worked in 1/2 of a day! Really! The bad part was he would poop only potty, but never a potty accident. I ended up having my husband teach him the poop thing when we were camping one time and ultimately he pooped in our yard a couple of times after that. = )

Now the second one was a bit more stubborn. So I used the "Potty Training in a Day" method only with a twist. I put together a HUGE bowl of toys and candy and such from the dollar store. When I say huge, I mean huge. I brought the bowl to him and we went through the whole thing looking at what was in there. (I was sure to get all the things he loves.) Then I told him that he can pick something out every time he used the toilet. Needless to say, he threw a fit for the first whole day but strangely went to the bathroom in the toilet. ( I also want to mention that I was sure to give him more to drink than he usually had, stuff I wouldn't normally give him to encourage additional drinking). In short, it took two days and he never had an accident again (poop or pee). I took another week of the gift bowl to solidify and we were good to go.

Believe me it is the hardest thing in the world so hang in there.

Good luck!

P.S. I would wait about two weeks and not bothering with the potty or poop training just to clear his mind. Then start the process again.

Hi B.,
I know you've had lots of responses, which I haven't read but I'll add that I think you're on the right track. My son has a friend who did the same exact thing. Looking from the outside in we could see the problem, his parents are divorced and neither has a lot of stability, while his mom has her Masters she is still a frazzled stress ball and is actively in the dating scene. Within the last year they moved to another new house too. His dad lives in their old house (he and his mom moved out of there a couple years earlier)which is foreclosing and he has multiple roommates. Just being around him and his mom stresses us out, but we can't tell her that....but I can tell you that a mellow, stable, reliable environment seems to be key to successful potty training in a non-stress way. Generally a parents behavior is reflected in their child's disposition, whether we want to admit it or not. Currently I am noticing that my 4 yr old son is lecturing my husband, sadly I have to admit he must get it from me. Best of luck to you for potty mastering!