Potty Training - Arcadia,CA

OK, let me start by saying I did not like this but my mother-in-law just sat my 2y4m old son on the toilet and wouldn't let him off for a little while. He cried a freaked out and she sat across from him on a stool and coached him. It seemed a little harsh at the time but it got him over the hump and once he had gone he continued to use the toilet with very little or no hassle!

Why would you make a 3 year old clean up there mess? Dont push her. Just have her sit once a day for 20 min, if you can time when she needs go poo, many go the same time every day, it might naturally happen. give her something to read while she is on it. Once you de stress her of the situation she will feel more relaxed about going. When you turn it into a fight and a battle of wills you will only make her fight it longer.

I have a three and a half year old so I have been through the potty training anxiety also. Please listen to all of the advice of the other two responses. I too felt like "this is never going to happen" "what is wrong with my childs development". No rewards are going to make this happen. I was always told "she will do it when SHE is ready". And that is exactly how it happened. Have patience and for goodness sake do not punish her. You will instill insecurities that could last a life time.

I did not read your other esponses, but my advice is they will do it when they are ready not when you are ready for them to do it. I have a 4 yr old who potty trained herself at almost 31/2 and did it in a day and had 1 accident since-we wore pull up till the box was done w/ 1 accident and then I said we were not buying anymore and moving to big girl pants even though she called them big girl pants as well, but it worked and now she goes when she has to-I do not bug-I only ask before we leave and at nap and bedtime.
I have a boy who will be 3 in Feb I will also do the same thing. It was so stress free and I got sick and tired of people telling me to push her to do it-don't push-I told everyone to let me do things my way-I am the mom. RELAX-it will happen. Did you ever hear the saying GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT? LOL! It does-L.:)

Potty training is 3 fold:
first they attain ability for pee.
Then poop.
Then, night-time training, which is a whole other "ability" and night-time dryness 'ability' is usually attained even up to 7 years old... and they will still have night time accidents. Its okay.

Going poop, is usually not attained at the same time as going pee. These are 2 different time-lines and abilities. It is COMMON that a child will hide and poop... whether it be in the diaper or underwear. The more pressure you put on them to poop on demand or in a toilet... the more regression they will have.

Just go by her cues. Don't worry, she will get the ability for it... just not yet. Even adults, will not poop if told to... unless they really need to and go themselves. AND many adults will NOT even poop at a public restroom... and will only poop at home. So....

One thing you do NOT want to do... is make pooping a "problem" whereby the child will start to "withhold" their poop and avoid going altogether, whether it be in a diaper or underwear. IF this happens, then the child will have constipation problems... and this is a WHOLE other issue and problem. Many toddlers, at this juncture, get constipation problems because then it becomes an emotional issue and they will avoid going poop altogether, and it will cause pain upon voiding when constipated.
My daughter went through that and even had to see a Pediatric Gastroenterologist... and he said MANY toddlers get this problem... because pooping becomes a painful thing for them once they start to withhold going to poop altogether.

Just ease up.... pooping in a toilet is a whole different "ability" and timing, for a toddler. It is wonderful she does go pee... so bravo for her. She will poop in a toilet when ready. As you see, no other punishments or rewards will work to "MAKE" a toddler go poop in a toilet. They will do it when they are biologically/emotionally ready.
Just let her know she is okay and fine and you are proud of her... nonetheless.

And keep in mind, even once they ARE potty trained, accidents will STILL happen. And this is normal and fine. No biggie. Even adults can have a hard time holding their bladder.

I would also recommend a potty for the car. Like an "On The Go Potty" for example, or a travel potty. Which you can get from www.amazon.com
For us, it has been a lifesaver for our kids, while we are out on the road and they need to use the bathroom, when there is no bathroom nearby.

All the best,
Susan

Hello,

My name is A., and I have a B.A. in Child Development and Family Studies. I worked in child care for quite a few years. I have a website where I have put up a few articles for parents. One is about potty training. I have recommended some books both for the parents and children on the subject. My website is http://ourdreams.ourfoxhole.net, when you get there, go to the "childcare" tab, and you will see the different articles. You can also leave me a post or send me an email through the site if there is anything else you want to know about. I hope this is helpful.

A.

Diaper Free Before 3 (I can't remember the author). It actually says that potty training should start at 6 months or so. I started putting my daughter on the potty at 5 months and she has been pooping on it almost exclusively every since (she is nearly 3 years now). The book talks about paying attention to signs that the child needs to go and placing on the potty then and at regular intervals throughout the day to make it a very normal thing. When my daughter is hesitant to stop playing to use the bathroom I just tell her that we always have to take small breaks in the day to go potty and she gets it. Also, the book says it is good to let your child watch you use the bathroom (if you are comfortable with that) because that is the best way for them to learn. Also, there is a children's book "The Potty Book for Girls" (or Boys) that my daughter really likes to read. I hope this helps a little! ~

I just finished reading an awesome book called Toilet Training in Less than a Day. I have several friends and family members that have used this program and all have been very successful.
The two gentlemen who designed this program began their program with severely handicapped children and adults and have transferred their program for use with non-handicapped children. It's an easy read and the concepts are easy to apply. It may require that you take a day or two off of work in order for the program to have it's full impact, but that would be all that would be required and the effects would be lasting.

My girls responded really well to "The Potty Movie". There is one for girls and one for boys.

i got my son to go #2 in the toilet by taking his diaper over to the toilet and dumping the poop in and having him flush and we'd say "bye bye poo poo" i also would go to the bathroom and tell him what i was doing..sometimes i would act upset that he'd come in..and say.."hey i'm going poop..go out!" and i think that got him to want to go on the toilet..also the final stage was getting him to tell me when he had to go..he wasn't doing that yet at 3..so i took him to start preschool and had a meeting w/ the principle and had my son in the room..he over heard us speaking and must have been listening b/c he instantly started telling me when he had to go..he's 3.8 and totally potty trained..try talking in front of her to the teacher in a private room..also try showing her how u flush poop down the toilet...if u haven't already that is..good luck!!

D.

Hi, you got a lot of good responses. I'm glad you decided to just give it some time and let your daughter do it when she is ready. It does sound like the daycare provider is more concerned about what's best for them personally (not wanting to deal with it anymore) instead of what's in the best interest of your daughter. Forcing her to clean it herself when she's not ready could make her feel like she's being punished, and she will feel ashamed. She's only 3, still so young. It is the average age children potty train, but every child is different. And at age 3, they are not going to be able to clean themselves effectively. I would suggest if it's at all possible to find a daycare provider who is more in line with raising children in line with what you would do if you could be home. Then there would be no pressure on you or your daughter. The trick is finding someone good and who you feel comfortable with. The more they try to force her (putting her on the toilet when she is resisting), the more it will register in your daughter's brain that it is a scary thing. And that will take a long time to reverse. You want your daughter to feel proud and excited about it, and she will naturally want to learn when she feels like she is "a big girl now". Listen to your instincts and don't feel you have to do what anyone else thinks you should do. You're the mama! :)Wishing you all the best and hope this helps. K. (mom of 2 girls, one almost 3 who is just not interested in using the toilet yet - though she pretends to when her 6 year old sister goes, the 2 year old sits on her own potty, in her diaper still, pretends to go then wipes her diaper with toilet paper and pretends to flush her little potty just like her big sister). And I know one day out of the blue, she'll be ready to do it for real. For now, this is all she's comfortable with and forcing her to do more only causes anxiety. It's ok to ask her if she wants to try, but we have to respect their answer/comfort zone.

Hi there!
I have a great on-line book I can send you(and any one else who might need it). Just email me at ____@____.com and I will shoot it to you. Thankfully, I haven't had to use it, but I did skim through it and it seems like a really good book. It goes through the mental state of a child starting to potty train. I also have a on-line book on how to get your child to sleep through the night if you want that one too. I hope to hear from you soon.
Good luck!
M.