Potty Training... - Davenport,FL

Dear E., the most important thing and sometimes the hardest thing to remember is that she owns this. IT is her thing to manage. Ask her what she wants to do about it and make an agreement. Ask her what she wants you to do to help her-make suggestions as to what you are willing and able to do. Work with her till she believes that you will let her own it. Then she will be relaxed enough to not make it a big deal. Barb
A little about me-I have seven children. Toilet training was a little different with each of them, but the same in one way. We can't take it from them. They own it!

Hi E.~

I remember having seen a website that promised to teach potty training in just a few days. I wish I had saved it!! However, I googled potty training and there is a wealth of information there. Perhaps you might try the same thing.

G. Morotti

This may sound silly, but it worked or is working for me as I am in the middle of it. I have a just now 2 year old boy. For Christmas, Santa brought my son an egg timer (a good old fashioned 1 hour egg timer). With it came paints and a paint brush, glue, and some little sponge stick ons (stuff you get in the scrap booking section at Target). With it also came a note (which he probably didn't really understand) that said, "This is the majic PeePee bell. When you hear the bell ring that means it is time to go to the potty." I made it pretty silly and specific to him.

I did this for two reasons: 1) It helped me remember to take him every hour and get him on a schedule, and 2) It made it fun for him. As soon as he hears it go off, we make a huge deal out of it and race to the bathroom. If his pull-ups are dry and he goes potty, he gets to pull a treat from the bag. After a while if he could go all day, he could pull a prize from the prize bag (a got a bunch of dollar store prizes).

We are working on wearing underwear now, so it has worked so far.

Good luck.

Hi E.,
Don't despair, potty training will happen. Just continue to offer the opportunity and reinforce her when she goes, but don't push the issue. You don't need to get into a power struggle with her. Two things you can't make kids do is eat and potty. From what you say, your daughter is also dealing with several changes, such as going between daycare part time to mommy staying home again full time with her and a new baby to complete the deal. My oldest son needed to be retrained after 2 months of being fully trained when my next son was born and I began to stay home full time, but it didn't take long. My youngest daughter was a lot like your daughter, showing signs early of being ready, but then getting confused between what to do at home and what to do at my mom's (who takes care of her). Have patience and enjoy the time you have together. Chances are she won't be entering Kindergarten wearing diapers!

It sounds to me like she is confused. When she throws a tantrum tell her that mommy needs to go potty too, and wants her to go with you. When my son did that I found it was easier for him to learn and get used to it when I would take him to the bathroom with me EVERY time I went. Whether we were at a restaurant, at the park, at the mall, or at a gas station; if I went to the bathroom he went with me. That seemed to work best because a had the same problem but some what of a different situation. My son was 6 months old when I got pregnant with my daughter. So I was six months pregnant when he started showing that it was time to use the potty. I did everything and he was pretty much potty trained when I had my daughter. After she was born and was getting extra attention with the diaper changes he decided that he didn't want to use the potty anymore. So thats when I had to take him whenever I went to the bathroom. Once she was about 1 she started showing an interest in using the potty. When that happened my son decided to be the big brother that he was and when ever I went to the bathroom she would go with me and my son would come in the bathroom and tell her what she was doing wrong (sort of). By that time my husband had started taking my son to the restroom with him to teach him how to go standing up and according to my son my daughter was going to the bathroom wrong because she was sitting on the potty. So just take her with you to the bathroom sit her potty seat in front of the toilet if possible and take her whenever you go. Try to take her extra if you can. Like even if you don't feel you have to go but it has been a while since the last time you took her take her again.

I had a terrible time trying to potty train my son. (He's 11 now.) I tried everything. My pediatrician said not to push him. It's the only thing the child has control over. I was really getting worried because he was supposed to start pre-school soon, but I figured I might as well wait it out. My daughter turned 3 (my son was 4.5), and a week after her birthday, she decided she wanted to use the potty. Guess who else wanted to use the potty? Neither one of them wore a diaper after that. Maybe 2.5 is just way too early for her. I wouldn't sweat it.

My daughter was almost 3 1/2 before she was potty trained. I talked to my ped about it ay her 3 yo visit and he said to hold off for a while. If you are getting frustrated, she will definitely sense that. It's better to wait until she wants to do it.

At Christmas time when I could focus better, i let her run around the house naked for a couple of days. On the 3rd day, I put panties on her, she'd ask me "Am I wearing panties?" I'd say, yes, time to go on the potty."

I felt a tremendous social pressure, all her friends at church and school were trained. Some people would tell me that she'd use the potty when she was ready, but I'd think, what if she's never ready? I went through frustrating times of trying to train her and give up. Finally, I let go and let her decide and it was so easy when she was ready!

Hi E.!
I have 2 boys 2 years apart and both of them started potty training around 18 months and both of them reverted back and were not fully trained until they were 2 1/2. It has NOTHING to do with what you are doing, it has do to with them and their mindframe at 2 1/2. At 18 months they haven't developed the independence and stubbornness that they do around 2. My advice is to stick with it and put her in underwear. If you can't deal with the messes put a pullup on over the underwear so that she feels the wet sensation. Make this about her and not about you. She wants to be independent, so let her. If she has an accident just tell her to put her dirty underwear in the dirty clothes and go get some new underwear. Don't freak out and don't put so much pressure on yourself. You are doing a great job by just being home with her. I'm sure you have a lot on your plate right now with a new baby, so let this problem go. I guarantee you if you put her in underwear and keep her in them except for nighttime and naps (if necessary) she will get the point. I have a very stubborn barely verbal 2 1/2 year old who wouldn't go potty at school either, so for the past two weeks I made him wear underwear the whole time even at night with the pullup over it in case of accident. He has now gone this whole week without an accident. She wants to be a big girl for you and please you. Make her initiate going to the potty, you can ask her, but don't put her on it. I found out the hard way they get used to it when we do it all for them. Mine didn't know how to get his undies back on:( The good news is I bet your new baby girl will be much easier. Plus you will be soo busy you won't have time to worry about. You just deal with it and move on! I hope I can help you because trust me I will take any help I can get. Best of luck:)

All kids pick battles for some control of their little world at that age; typically it's bedtime, eating, pottying,etc.

If your daughter DID do it in the past, then she knows what to do, but now that she's in the stubborn "2" phase, she's trying to control this particular situation. I've read in Parenting magazines, that it is suggested to begin potty training, regardless of signs of readiness, or whether or not they do more than just sit on it, around 16-18 months now. The idea behind this is for us to get our child USED to the potty before the stubborn 2's and 3's hit, where they will reject it, even if they may be ready.

Anyway, I'll tell you what my son's doctor told me when he was 3 and still not consistent. She said, "Throw out those pull-ups, they are just glorified diapers." So we had a little "party" so to speak. I took him out to get packages of real underwear (he chose the same tiny whities as Daddy wears), and then tossed the pull-ups. Same trip I also bought a mattress pad cover in case of accidents at night. My husband taught him to go pee standing up (since his issue was being afraid of the "big" toilets in public places). We made up a potty sticker chart to track progress, rewarded him with his favorite peanut butter cup for pooping in the potty. And lo and behold, things finally clicked in place, and he never had one accident in his bed at night, though all kids have accidents in their pants now and then. It's hard to stop playing to use the bathroom sometimes!

I would just do what you're doing for now, since you have the newborn, too. When she does go, praise, praise, praise, but don't force her. But you do need to be consistent with either pull-ups or panties. Going back and forth with diapers or training pants isn't helping. I would throw away (or hide) the diapers completely, so they aren't an option anymore. And if you haven't bought her underwear yet, maybe that will bring a little excitement about using the potty to her. A goal, so to speak. Hope this helps you a little.

Hi there! I have a 3 1/2 year old son. He just started using the potty about 2 months ago and has only had 2 accidents. IMHO they have to be ready to use the potty. They have to fully understand their body signals. My husband and I stayed close to home for 2 or 3 days and let him run naked. We kept reminding him that he wasn't wearing a diaper and if he needed to go his potty was right there. He was just ready, he knew his body signals and he took to it right away. All kids are different. It seems like it's causing your daughter and you some stress and she's digging her heels in deeper and refusing to go so I would back off for a while. She will know when she's ready.

One of my girlfriends has a daughter and she told me that she didn't do any potty training at all with her daughter and when her daughter turned 4 she decided she didn't want to wear a diaper anymore and started using the potty and she didn't have any accidents. That's the same course I took with my son. I just kept telling myself that he would know when he was ready. I put him in a pull up at nap time and bedtime. Oh, and the same day that he started using the potty I put him in underwear. I know some people keep them in a pull up, but we chose not to do that. We just pack extra clothes, undies and wipes whenever we go anywhere, just in case.

I hope this helps. Just remember that all kids are different and it's not like she's going to be 16 and still in a diaper! She will learn to do this, just let her take the lead and she will let you know when she's ready. Good luck to you!!!
N. :)

When my son was 2 I also thought he was ready because he showed all the normal signs and interest. The daycare he attended did work on it with him, and they said he did go at school. However he did not at home…it was always a battle. When a new baby girl came into our lives at age 2 ½ things got even worse. The doctor said “Not to worry because he will do it when he is ready. Right now he is adjusting to something bigger, not being the only child.” Sure enough the doctor was right. After my son’s third birthday, he just got it! There were no battles, and very few accidents!

Though my circumstances are a bit different from yours,I will try. My grandchildren each showed when they were ready to start training and both of them at an early age did very well for awhile and then on their own stopped wanting to use the potty and reverted to going in their pants. My daughter was a stay at home mom then so she didn't push or chastise when they went back to going in the diaper. She just felt maybe they were too young yet. They did start again months later to use the potty on their own. She would just ask them if they wanted to go potty and followed their responce. It all worked out when they were ready. I have known boy children who weren't completely trained until 4yrs old and it wasn't for a lack of trying on the parent's part. Just give it a rest, don't make her sit on the potty, just ask her if she needs to use the potty. If she says no let her be until later and ask again.

This is so normal. I went through it with my son as well. Right when we thought he was going in the potty all the time, he would revert back to the diaper. TRUST me one day it just "clicks". It did with my son and we have not seen a diaper in over 6 months (not even at night). All you can do as a mother is keep reinforcing the potty, but it has to be up to them to keep it up. It happend for my son a couple of months before his 3rd birthday. Be patient and try not to get frustrated!!!

HI-

I am in somewhat of the same boat. I have a 2-year-old daughter and a 2 month old daughter.

I am completely confounded when it comes to potty training. My 2-year-old has used her potty a few times, but otherwise uses it as a chair when we are in the bathroom and does not seem to be very interested in going any further. I have stopped worrying about it. From what I understand, all kids eventually get it over time, some faster than others.

BUT, the actual reason I am responding is this: the issue may be the fact you have a new born in the house more than anything else. I have read in many places that the first born has a tendency to get rather confused as to her place in the family when the next one comes along, and regression in the area of potty training is one of the first things noticed. Don't sweat it. I would give it a few more months and let your daughter lead you for a bit. If she wants a diaper, let her have it with a comment something like, "So you want to play being baby today? Okay." If she wants to use the potty, praise her and tell her how proud you are of your big girl and how one day she can help baby learn how to use the potty too.

That is what my doctor suggested to me so that she can start establishing herself as Big Sister and Big Girl and have that be special. It also helps her differentiate what a 2-year-old does verses a baby and lets her establish the age hierarchy in her mind.

Just some thoughts. Hope it helps.

2 1/2 is a very challenging age developmentally. Most 2 1/2 year olds are going thru some "developmental homework". So-you might want to hold off a bit especially with new baby there (another challenging situation for that age group).

She'll come around in her own time and way--is there a reason why you are in a hurry to have her potty trained?

I understand your frustration. My daughter was fully potty trained when I went on vacation last year, for a week. As soon as we came back, she refused to go on the potty. And continued to refuse for about 6 months. The week before her 3rd birthday she started to use the potty again. Mostly we also give her treats to go on the potty. She really likes marshmallows. But, M&M's and suckers work well also. She's been using the potty for a little over a month now. She still wears pull ups to bed. Some days she wants to use the potty. Some days, like today, it's a struggle. She went through about four outfits today. She does pretty well when she thinks it's her idea. Or if she going to get something special. Tattoos worked for a while. So did stickers. I really like these rewards better, but kids love candy. Good luck!