Potty Training - Houston,TX

Updated on September 01, 2009
J.H. asks from Houston, TX
14 answers

we've been potty training my 5 year old since a lil before she turned 2. she just started kindergarten and is still peeing her pants. when we first started potty training she was really good about going, but for about the last year or so she pees her pants probably 3 or 4 times a day, including while she's at school. i've tried everything i can possibly think of, anyone have any ideas as to what might be going on?

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A.A.

answers from Houston on

Have you tried adding extra calcium to her diet? I know this has helped members of my husband's family.

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B.H.

answers from Austin on

One thing that you might look at- is she having constipation. When my youngest was little, she too began having accidents after being potty trained. I just thought it was related to her urine/bladder, etc. it never occurred to me to think about her stool/colon pressing on her bladder. Since she went to the sitter every day, I was not aware of her having constipation problems. I assumed she was having stool at the sitter.
Anyway- long story short, once we started watching her stool, she quit having "accidents".

Just a thought!
B.

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D.C.

answers from San Antonio on

Doing this 3 or 4 times a day is not a discipline issue. If this is happening at school that often, she has a medical issue. I would take her to the pediatrician and have her checked for either an underdeveloped bladder or maybe she doesn't feel the pressure on her bladder until it's too late. Many children this age have small bladders and therefore cannot control how long they can "hold it". The doctor may be able to check it with a sonogram or ex-ray, I'm not sure though.

****Please don't take away her favorite lovey (whatever she uses when she's tired or sad) as punishment PERIOD. That is her self-comforting thing. Take away anything else EXCEPT that: tv, legos, kitchen set, whatever she plays the most with, but not her lovey. My son is 6 but when he's been disciplined for something he actually talks to his Bear about what's going on (he's his Bear's Daddy).

For now, can you buy some of the "pullups (any brand) for Big Kids that look and feel like underwear"? At school this may help with the embarassment - her friends won't know it happened and she'll only need to change underwear not her whole outfit.

My son had a classmate in Kinder last year who had a problem with this. When he finally felt he had to go, it was already too late. The other kids were not kind and I personally talked to several who said mean or thoughtless things about this sweet little boy. I even had to explain to my son that sometimes it takes longer for people's bodies to work the way they need to and it is NEVER okay to say ANYTHING about it other than to say "don't worry, even grown-ups have accidents". His mother sent extra clothes to school everyday and he used them almost everyday.

My cousin also had this problem. Her step-mom only made it worse by shaming her. Her dad didn't seek a doctor's help until about 8 and by then she was so timid and scared when it happened she would actually start crying as soon as she felt it happening even as she ran to the bathroom because she knew she was going to get yelled at even AFTER the doctor explained the problem (this was about 35 years ago). She still has accidents occasionally, especially if she laughs really hard and she has to make frequent stops on long trips or else she will have accidents. She just can't hold it for long. She just has a VERY small bladder.

Good Luck!

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K.R.

answers from Houston on

No offense but this is somthing you should have asked way before she started school. I dont mean anything bad by it. My son didnt start until he was 4 and I never thought I was going to get him out of the pampers before he started pre k.
Its something you just have to work with and alot of dicipline for your daughter and yourself. Potty training is not an easy job at all. I wanted to give up so many times just from frustration.
Keep her in underwear when you are at home and take her to the restroom every 10 minutes at first. alot of people will give you advice saying to wait longer like 20 minutes but I found doing that I had just missed the time when he actually had to go and ended up going on the floor instead.
My point is just be consitant. If she has somthing that is her favorite toy or blanket , tell her you are a big girl and if you dont start using the potty like a big girl then I am taking " what ever she favors more" from you until you learn how to be a big girl.
Thats what I had to do with my son, he loved his blanket. and I just had to tell him that, and it sure worked.
Also have you talked to her pediatrician about it. It could also be a hormone that has not developed yet.
Well good luck J. and I will pray that this works for you like it did for me. God Bless
K.

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N.K.

answers from Houston on

J.,
There was another mother on here one day that was having the same symptoms and everyone told her to take her in and get her checked for diabetes. You should get her into the dr quickly.

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A.C.

answers from Houston on

J.-

I am sure that this is completely normal on many fronts, but as well as any potential bladder/kidney issues, you should consider diabetes. This is a main symptom in diagnosing children--especially when it is a sudden change.

Is she drinking or eating more than usual? Having any unsual mood swings? Has she lost any weight recently?

If so, discuss this with your doctor.

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A.C.

answers from Austin on

I would take her to a uriologist. Maybe you can ask your pedi Dr. for a referal. If she was once potty trained and now having problems there might be some sort of physical problem that is causing her to go without warning like bladder spasims or something.

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C.W.

answers from Waco on

Hi J.
5 is too old to still be peeing in her pants- do you keep her in pull ups at school? Have you had her checked for blatter or kidney issues? She may have a blatter control issue and not be able to control herself.This is the first step I would check out......soon the others will be hurting her feelings and kids can really be cruel and hurtful.
I would not punish her or disipline her until I was sure she did not have any physical issuses beyond her control, then you might consider some counseling for her as she may have some underlying issues she cannot talk with about to you......
good luck and blessings.

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J.T.

answers from College Station on

I am having this same issue with my 5yo son, but it is with going #2.
Contrary to conventional wisdom, he gets in trouble, REAL trouble for this. He knows better. There are no medical reasons for this. It is a control thing.

We tell him that he loses all privilages, and treats for the day. He has to clean himself up. There are no rewards. We talk to him everyday before school and remind him about his responsibilities.

Good Luck!

But do take her to the Dr. to make sure there is no medical reason for this!

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K.O.

answers from Austin on

It's an emotional issue, something is not right in her life. She can't help it until things get resolved. Both my girls are potty trained but the first couple days of preschool when everything was new and different they wet their pants repeatedly. It is a cozy safe place so that stopped right away, but it is her body signaling that everything is not okay. Blessings.

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L.R.

answers from McAllen on

I've had this same problem with my 4 year old daughter. It actually began the day my newborn baby came home from the hospital. She has an appointment with her doctor this week, but we're thinking it could be a psychological thing, too. Well, all the advice has come in handy for me, too. Thank you, all, and J., I hope everything works out well with your daughter.

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N.D.

answers from Austin on

Sounds like a medical issue. My friend's first grader has come continence issues and it is for sure a medical issue. I'd take her to the doctor and if that one doesn't give a through exam and send her for testing, I'd get a second opinion. You have been working on this for 3 years now. 5 year olds get embarrassed about things like that, I can't imagine she would be doing it on purpose.

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P.G.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi J., your daughter may be too busy playing or afraid she is going to miss something. Have you had a medical doctor assess her for bladder infections or other bladder concerns such as weak bladder control?
Try and make going to the restroom a fun activity, ex. I used fruit loops in the toilet bowl and the children had to try and sink them. Sounds silly but it worked.

Make sure nothing is concerning her or has frightened her.
Good luck

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J.H.

answers from Houston on

She needs to go to the dr. It could be no fault of her own. She could have a bladder issue or something. Take her to the dr. To get checked out. In Kinder. Accidents in the pants should be just that accidents, not an everyday type thing. That also is h*** o* her at LbigL school to be doing that. Embarassing. Kids can be so mean! Get her checked out! Best of luck to you!

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