Potty Training - Saint Augustine, FL

Updated on November 08, 2007
B.B. asks from Saint Augustine, FL
14 answers

I need advice on potty training. My daughter’s current daycare does not allow pull ups they go straight to underwear, which I support. My daughter does awesome at daycare and at home. She will say she has to go and run to the potty and go, very few accidents. The problem is when we go out. I tried leaving her in the underwear but we had serious issues. She went pee at Toys R US and at a restaurant. The pee got all over the floor, her and me, so I started putting her in pull ups when we went out. When she is in pull ups she doesn’t even mention she has to go and won’t try. She always so no I don’t have to go and won’t go to the bathroom at all. I don’t know what to do. I can’t have her pee on the pews at church and in restaurants. She says she has to go but if she can’t get there quick she can’t hold it. Running to a restroom in a restaurant or store is always too long. I feel like her potty training is regressing when she is out with me because we are always running errands or doing something. I can’t stay at home with her every day for months. Even in the park she won’t go. If she has pull ups on she won’t go to the bathroom at all. I bought a travel potty but she refuses to use. I need advice because pull ups aren’t fixing the issue. I even tried putting the pull ups over her underwear but she still didn’t care. I am desperate. My issue is what to do when you are out so you don't have to change clothes twenty times a day and get pee all over. I like taking my girls to the fair, disney world, zoo and other places now that it is cooler but I don;t want her to think you only use the potty at home.

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S.J.

answers from Orlando on

We used the training underwear (its like regular underwear but thicker). So they still get the same result of feeling the wetness when they go, but it helps with the clean up since there's more to absorb.

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E.C.

answers from Tampa on

Hi B.,

First, let me start by saying I hate potty training! But as a Mom to an 8, 5, and 3 year old I have had my share! I started potty training (PT) my eldest at 23 mths. Way too young for her. She would pee in the stroller at Busch Gardens, on new shoes, in her car seat, you name it. But I was inexperienced. I should have waited. My middle child practically PT'd herself and would wake up dry at 2 yrs old. My third... well I got lazy.... I put off the training until Sept and he turned 3 in July. He was my easiest! He was ready and capable of communicating his needs and was very motivated.

I find that the longer you can put off PT, the more successful you will be. Let's face it, diapers are way more convenient anyway. I'm surprised your daycare is requiring underpants for a child less than 3. I thought most daycares were requiring that at three. My daycare is. Of course, they start potty training at 2, but they cannot be in the 3 year old class until they can be in underpants all day.

The way I see it, you basically have 2 choices:

1) Allow your child to wear a pullup when you are out and about, and eventually she will predictably begin using the potty in public. Don't fuss with her.
2) Since she may be getting mixed signals switching between underwear and pullups, you might need to just go underwear 100% of the time. You will need to map out every public restroom wherever you go. I am serious. And every time you pass a restroom, go in! Don't ask if she needs to go. Just take her and praise her even if she doesn't relieve herself. Stickers and M&M's work wonders by the way. Promise her 1 M&M for pee, and 2 for poo. And remind her of this while you are out - lots and lots of times. My kids loved to decorate their potty seats with stickers - they got one with each successful use.

My favorite potty video is It's Potty Time. All three of my kids still watch it some times... it's got some goofy, corny songs. But it gets the point across. My three year old loved me singing "He is a super duper pooper" when he did his thing LOL!

One more thing - carry some post-it notes and put one on the sensor of the automatic flushers. Some kids (like my eldest) are very frightened by the sudden flush.

Good luck.

E.
Mom to Lily (8), Ava (5), and Zachary (3)

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A.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

I just read though your post and wondered if she uses a potty seat at home. My daughter would not use a public potty. I was in Babies R Us and found a pottable potty seat. It folded up into its own bag. When we went out I put it in the backpack, and if she had to go we took the seat out and put it on the public potty. It helped us a lot. Good luck, she will get it. Hang in there.

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T.C.

answers from Melbourne on

Hi there! Potty training can be frustrating. I got lucky with my daughter in potty training. But I did go to this website and got these items called Pods. I put her straight in underwear as well, and it took her about a week to get it straight, but you certainly can't have her peeing everywhere you go. I put a Pod on her when we went out to minimize accidents. So, here is the site and I hope it helps.

http://www.pottytrainingsolutions.com/index.htm

Good luck!

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T.C.

answers from Fort Myers on

I had the same issue with my daughter. I am sure I won't be the first or the last to suggest this. Pull ups are a great invention but prolong potty training. I am sure that's why the daycare skips them. She needs to be uncomfortable with the wetness to get the picture. I went with the training panties that are thicker and rubber pants and tossed the pull ups. It took about three or four accidents for her to figure it out. She didn't like the feel, I didn't get such a big mess and she started to tell me when she needed to go.

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K.W.

answers from Orlando on

My husband behaves like your 29 month old! He doesn't like Public Restrooms.
Seriously, your daughter is probably younger than 3, and she sounds as if she is doing quite a great job at the potty training. But it also sounds as if, maybe, you should slow it down just a little bit, and let all of her brains synapses connect on this very important task. I don't think you have to stay home for months on end. But, always keep in mind, that she is a little kid and public restrooms and even a travel potty, are very scary ideas. So what if you really have to run errands or want to go out and about? You could use a pull-up for those occasions. She won't be a five year old wetting her pants (unless you become emotional and make this a big issue). Eventually, her brain will connect, and she will know that a wet pull-up is not comfortable -- she doesn't like it. We don't even realize that for our young ones, even going to Wal-Mart and a restaurant is a overwhelming sensory experience for anyone under the age of at least 8! Give yourself and your daughter a break, and use the crutch (pull ups) when you need to be out and about. You'd be surprise when some time passes and with positive reminders and seeing mommy use the restrooms and making it a fun part of being out and about, she will want to go, and you will be in line and not want to take her (but you will).

I have a bit of the opposite problem. I made going potty at the park so much fun, my almost 3 year old son only wants to go potty restrooms at the park. But I know, this, too, will resolve itself.
p.s.
and even with my 5 & 6 year old, we have to go to the restrooms automatically without their asking -- because children get excited and overwhelmed and they aren't thinking about "eventually I'll to go".....

Give yourself a pat on the back
for having a daughter who is partially potty trained
One friend had an almost 5 year old who had accidents
constantly, and she had to take him to a therapist. Of course, it turned out she was pushing him too much, and not making it a positive experience, and....the mother guilt.

M.S.

answers from Ocala on

Hello,

I am a mother of 3 and i know all about potty training.
What i would do is to put a pull up on them and i would set a timer to make them go pee about every 20 minutes. I would not take no for an answer. I would tell them that i needed them to push and to try and that it was ok if only a little bit came out. It was just time to push and try. Do not get mad at the child if the child makes a mess. They are little and it is not easy being little. They have a lot to learn all of the time. They are not robots they can not do everything the right way. Just keep working on this and set a timer and make your little one go. You are the BOSS, be firm but nice at the same time.

I know that you feel like that you are losing your mind with this but things will get better and this will pass. Reward your little one for doing a great job. Sing a happy song "that you make up, about going to the potty" and sing it to your little one every time that she goes potty.

I wish you the best of luck.
God Bless.

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L.W.

answers from Tampa on

Try using the old fashion plastic style undies that go over her regular undies. This way she feels the wetness and it does not go all over.

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J.B.

answers from Sarasota on

Try taking her to the bathroom as soon as you enter the store and if you will be there awhile stop half way through and go again. I know one of the issues we have with our daughter (since she was younger and still now @6 1/2) is using the automatic flushing toilets. She is petrified of them and will hold it until we get home.

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T.C.

answers from Tampa on

Does she use the portable potty seat at home? Maybe she doesnt like it or because she hasnt used it before its new to her and its like using a public toilet. Also maybe she needs a chance to walk around in it like the other response said. maybe then she wont like walking all wet and go to the public toilet. Thats really all I can think of expecally if the pull ups dont work. hope this helps T.

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M.P.

answers from Tampa on

I learned a long time ago that as soon as you enter the store, restaurant, whatever - hit the bathroom. I go, the kids go, we all go! Not going is not an option. If I get an argument I tell them "Even if you "think" you don't have to ... you can." My 10 year old daughter laughs about it now. We pull into the parking lot and I say "As soon as we get in ..." and she finishes my sentence "we go to the bathroom!"

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C.

answers from Lakeland on

The only thing I can recommend it to have your daughter go potty before you leave the house...even if she says she doesn't have to go. My daughter would say she didn't have to go and then she would sit down and of course she went. Also....as soon as you enter a store or a restaurant ask if she has to go again....take her first thing and then you will be able to shop without the interruption. Most kids wait until they really really have to go before telling you....and then many times it is too late.

When using public restrooms I always line the potty with toilet paper and then lift my daughter up and hold her over/on the potty. This was she is back far enough so she doesn't wet her undies....and I am right there for her to hold onto.

Best of luck!!!

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C.G.

answers from Tampa on

I'm lucky, I don't have too much trouble with my daughter (she just turned 3 today!) but I think she has more control over her bladder than most kids, she can go for 8-10 hours in the house with panties on and never go to the bathroom. This might sound a little harsh, but I think I would make her walk around in it for a while so she sees how uncomfortable it is, and then she might stop (of course don't try this at a restaurant or really public place, but maybe at the park or even outside at home) I don't know, that's the only thing I can think of, that's how I got my daughter to stop pooping in her diaper, I just made her keep it on a few times and after that she's never pooped in her diaper again, even when we're out. Well, hope I helped a little, good luck!

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S.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I know just how you feel! I have started to carry about four extra outfits, each in a separte ziplock bag, with me when we will be out all day. This provides with a quick grab for a change of clothes, and also has a bag to keep the nasty stuff in. I would also recommend picking up a bottle of Clorox Hard Surface Disinfectant (the portable size) to spray down the public sinks if you have to rinse out her panties there. My 3 yo doesn't always make it to the potty, or she is just too busy playing.

I have had to do a couple things with her to get her going more. At first she refused to go when we were out. We would put her on the potty and she would say "the pee-pee won't come out," then proceed to wet herself two minutes later (if that). We thought that perhaps she was just nervous about "foreign" restrooms so we kept the potty seat with us (what a hassle!). After a while, we got sick of doing that and decided to try something.... We had been putting her on the potty sideways when we didn't have the potty seat with us so she could hold onto the bars while she did her business. Therein was our first issue. She prefers to sit on the potty straight where her little tushy is used to doing it at home.

Currently we are trying to tackle our second issue...no time to pee. She seems to think that if she stops what she is doing to go potty, she is going to miss the rest of play time. Also, she sometimes won't bother to tell us if she has to go poo-poo. We have to constantly ask her and sometimes, we make her sit on the potty anyway. When she does go, we concentrate on the fact that she went on the potty and how much easier it is on her little tush to make one, maybe two passes with the TP if she goes on the potty versus an all-out wipe down when she doesn't tell us before the fact. She actually understands and has started telling us more often. Accidents still occur, but we just remind her that if she tells us before she goes, then the wipe down is faster and easier. This equals more playtime and less mess to her. It also allows for positive reinforcement instead of concentrating on the fact that we are frustrated because she hasn't quite gotten the hang of it yet.

I hope this is helpful for you. Just keep in mind that she is still learning and pretty young at that. It will take time. Just be prepared with several extra outfits, just in case.

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