Potty Training - Wasco, CA

Updated on March 28, 2008
R.K. asks from Wasco, CA
82 answers

I have a 23 moths old daughter that I'm having troble with potty training. I have tried the candy everything you use the potty..... It did not work. I have tried the "potty chart".....It did not work!!
Help!

3 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.G.

answers from Fresno on

Sweetie, she's just too young! Nerves to control the bladder are not yet covered with myelin, so she probably just can't do it yet. Why not wait another year? She's still a baby.
Children who are ready to use the potty do not need candy or other "rewards." We want children to learn to do what's right or acceptable, but we don't want to "train" them. That's what you do with puppies.
Good luck -- I know it's hard to wait for things to be developmentally appropriate.
I am a child development specialist.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.K.

answers from Chico on

Ease up and go back to diapers or it will be a struggle for a lot longer!! She isn't ready. Wait about 6 months (unless she shows interest on her own)

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

I'll have to come back and ask you what worked when you're finished. I'm about to embark on training my twin girls, also 23 months. I was able to potty train my older girls without much training at all but they were older than this. Good luck. My mom always calls it naked and $75.00 I guess keep them naked and $75 to have the floors cleaned.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from San Francisco on

I disagree with the idea that she is too young. There is a book out there called, naked and 75 dollars (or something like that) that gives a window between 18 and 24 months as the perfect opportunity for training. After that, it becomes more difficult. I didn't do the naked thing, but it seems like a great idea. They certainly know when they have to go!

Not sure what your "trouble" is. Will she sit on the potty at all? If so, I'd start with first thing in the morning, before bath and before bed. These are typical times to pee. Then the parental commitment comes in - every 1/2 hour to an hour, gradually extending the longer she is able to go accident free. If she doesn't go on the toilet, don't have her sit for a long time. Say, it's okay, we'll try again later. I gave my children "Big Girl/Boy Potty Stickers" and they had permission to stick them on any of their things (tricycle, book, book bag, bedroom garbage can, clothes, hats, etc.)

My daughter was finished at 20 months.
My eldest son was finished at 26 months.
My youngest son was finished at 24 months.

Finished meaning no more accidents, and no bed wetting.

I didn't rush any of them, and it wasn't a stressful thing. It varied between 2 solid, hard weeks and 1 month. You have to be committed to leave the table at dinner, breakfast, or to be late somewhere, etc. If your daughter poops about the same time daily, bring her to the toilet. When I saw my children making that "poop face", I said - let's go! With my youngest, he was pooping in the toilet before he could walk - because he made the very obvious poop face. The younger they are familiar with the toilet, the easier the transition to the toilet is.

I used Tiny Tots Diaper Service for training pants, so I wasn't stressed about washing all of the wet undies in time. They pick up and drop off weekly throughout northern California. When we were gone for a long day, to church or a party, I would put plastic diaper covers over the training underwear in case of an accident. Then I just had to change the underwear, not all of their clothes!
Giving them the big girl/boy panties/undies are always nice, too, once you get through the training phase.

Good luck!

There's a good going potty video I found at the library that my middle son liked and wanted to imitate the children, so he started going potty.

If it's a total battle of wills, it's not worth it - you'll have to wait a bit longer.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.,

I recently trained my 3 year old son using the method outlined at http://www.3daypottytraining.com. I would highly recommend this method. It worked for me. A lot of people say to wait, wait, wait, but I knew my son was capable of using the potty. He just didn't want to. In fact, I believe I could have training him a year ago using this method. (Yes, I had been trying unsuccessfully for a while.) After using this method, we are diaper-free (including at night). Good luck and remember it takes lots of love and patience.

1 mom found this helpful
Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.R.

answers from Bakersfield on

I have a daughter that will be 3 in May and I am still working on it. She tells me for #2 but not #1. Every child is different. I have a friend that was able to potty train hers at 1 and my son didn't till his 3rd bday. Under 2 is still young. Don't stress too much over it. It will happen when she is ready.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.A.

answers from Sacramento on

I agree with the rest of the replies.....probably too early. I tried potty-training my now 4-year-old little girl at about 26 months at she clearly had no idea what she was suppossed to be doing. We tried a 2nd time when she was 32 months, and she knew what she was suppossed to be doing but wasn't interested in doing it. The 3rd time was a charm for us.....at 2 months before her 3rd birthday. And I am not kidding you when I say that we didn't even have to "train" her at that point. She just started using the potty and even stopped having to use diapers at night within the first week or two of potty training. I know there is a lot out there lately about earlier potty training, but as you have probably heard before, it will probably be you that is trained and not your little one. Good luck, though....I know it can be frustrating. :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.C.

answers from San Francisco on

She is still kind of young for potty training. I would forget about it now and try again in 7 months. If you keep pressuring her she may just flat out refuse even when she is ready and then u have a nasty battle ahead. All in good time!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.O.

answers from San Francisco on

I'd call off the potty training for a couple of months and then try again. I pushed hard with my first child and it just didn't work. I backed off for a few months and voila, she practically trained herself. I can't quite recall the age...close to 3 I think. I would have loved to have a potty trained 2 year old but not at the price of tears, nagging, etc.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Fresno on

I agree with the other responders, it sounds like your daughter isn't ready yet. If you push it right now it will become a battle and she'll most likely win and you will be frustrated. I potty trained my kids differently and was more relaxed with my second kid, he was closer to 3 when we really started and it went much quicker to get him trained than with my first which I started when he was 29 months old. With my second child I made it his idea to start I'd talk about going potty in the toilet and then one day he decided he wanted to try it and that was the end of diapers. So I say to wait 6 months (unless she decides she's ready earilier) to try again, if that doesn't work wait until she's closer to 3. Diapers are a pain and HUGE expense, but the battle to potty train before your child is ready has a whole other set of issues.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter loved the potty video we got for her...I can't remember exactly what it was called (my memory after 12 years is failing LOL) but it's cover was red, with a cute little animated girl with black hair. There was a boy version too...I wish I could remember, but I am sure you can still find it...(Once Upon a Potty, maybe? Guessing.) It got my daughter right onto the potty! It was also her most requested video for awhile. Good luck. It will happen...hang in there.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Sacramento on

The easiest time to potty train is when they are ready. If she is fighting you on it, that probably means she is still too young for her. I'm not saying kids don't potty train that young, but all kids are different. I had one at almost 3 1/2, one at 21 months and one at just 2. All on their own time.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.S.

answers from Salinas on

Why are you starting so early? What I found with my daughter who officially was potty trained by 3 was that the process is long. Unless she is letting you know all the signs that she is ready and willing I wouldn't start so young. The best help for me were the videos for kids with potty training. Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.P.

answers from Salinas on

Try letting her go around in just a shirt. I started the first 5 days with the potty chair in the living room so that it was easy to get to, then when she gets the hang of using it, take it to the bathroom (she still in just a shirt). Each time she uses the potty go into the bathroom to wash her hands, and as her treat she gets a squirt of hand lotion. This my daughter totally loved and still does! After almost three weeks of being naked, finally put on undies, my daughter had accidents the first couple days, then totally caught on! I hopes this helps! Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from San Francisco on

For starters, I think 23 months is way too young to potty train. While some kids might be ready at such a young age, your daughter clearly is not. I'd give it a rest for at least a few months and try again. Both my kids were within a month of 3 when they potty trained and I have to tell you I had no battles at all. My daughter had her own potty and we'd talk about it but she did not seem interested and then one day she said "I went peepee in the potty." and that was it she was done with diapers (poop took a few more weeks of going in her room and putting on her pull up and doing her business). She was in underpants 24/7 in less than a month with no accidents and I think it's because she was just ready to do it. Remember the more you force it the more miserable you and your daughter will be. Don't make a big deal out of it, it will happen.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from San Francisco on

I personally think she's too young and not ready. My daughter was 2 and a half when she was potty trained. I suggest you don't push her before she's ready. Good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

R.,

She just simply is not ready yet. Be sure there are opportunities for her to see you use the potty and continue to ask her if she is ready or if she wants to use the big girl potty, but don't push the issue at this point. My first was 35 mo. when she finally decided she was ready to wear big girl panties and she pretty much took the lead from there.

If you continue to push the issue before she is ready then it will be a loosing frustrating battle for you and can actually delay her readiness.

Good luck and try to be patient no matter what "others" say.

~J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

I.N.

answers from San Francisco on

We read about a mom who had taken two days just for this purpose for all three of her children. She set the timer for an hour all day long. Each time the timer went off she sat the kids on the potty for a few minutes - not too long. She put the kids in underwear, diapes were only wern during nap time and at night.

My daughter did the same with our grandson 3 months ago when he was 2 and a half and it worked. It really only took one day for him to get it. But she continued to do it the second day too. She really took the 2 days to deal only with the potty training. She sat with him, they read books, talked, played. The diaper stayed on during nap time and at night. During the first couple of days he had a couple of small accidents, and again when he started wearing pants during nap time.

Perhaps your daughter is not quite ready yet. It takes a while to get the hang of bladder control. The whole thing seems scary to some kids.

Good luck.

I., retired nurse and grandmother of one little boy who will be three in June.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.S.

answers from San Francisco on

In my opinion, 23 months is pretty young or potty training. She's probably trying to tell you she is not ready and pushing her could be traumatic. They all use the toilet eventually, though often not as soon as we would like! I'd wait until she starts showing some signs of being interested. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Twenty three months is on the young side to be too serious about potty training. Generally it will only work that young if the child is already interested on their own. My suggestion would be give it another 3 to 6 months and try again.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.F.

answers from Stockton on

If you've tried everything and it's not working, then it's too soon. Let it go and try again in another month or in 6 months. Most kids aren't potty trained before 2, so unless you have a deadline, then back off of it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.P.

answers from Sacramento on

personally, I think at 23 months your kid should be well on the way to potty training, and by that I mean she should be interested in the potty, and be able to wee wee/doo doo on it once or twice a day or at least want to watch you going/see how it's all handled. But much like every kind of training in the world, potty training is a continuous thing with lots of steps forward and backward. Does she stay dry at night? Once she is dry at night, her sleep hormones are normalized like an adults and she needs to wee week immediately upon waking (like grown ups.) This is a key first step to potty training, but you can kind of gauge readiness by checking their night urination. Kids who can hold it really early can be introduced to the potty earlier.

I do not think regularly praising or charting somethign that should be a normal part of life works very well. We didn't do it, and our 30 month old kid is now a regular pottier and has been trying to do her own pottying since she was 20 months old. Her first independent wee wee was at 18 months, and I thought I was running late (according to my cousin.) I just gave her, and myself, more chances and less pressure. I think the chart and candy thing could probably work against you. We just got books that had descriptions, good pictures of a little girl on the toilet, and noisy flushing elements (we did the same thing to do teeth brushing, which was even harder than PT IMO.)

I think the worst thing I did during PT was use pull ups. I don't know why I did that. It set us back a bit. My kid DEFINITELY hates being wet, and she will inform you the minute she needs to wee wee when she's not wearing pull ups. She will wait until it's too late when she is active and wearing them.

The other cool thing that happened was that she entered preschool this week, and they informed us she was very independent about pottying, and she didn't have any accidents in her underpants. They attributed this to positive peer pressure, easy potty access and regular scheduled potty breaks.

She's been in panties all week, and I want to kick my own bottom for not doing it sooner, since the pull ups and diaper habit was really more for our convenience (no carpet clean ups and laundry for accidents) but really, the diaper changes and pull up leaks were way more of a hassle than just letting her learn that it sucks to wet your pants.

So, basically, my advice is that if you are sure she is ready and/or are desperate for her to be potty trained and are using any diapers or pull ups of any kind, chuck them. let her go au naturel or commando, and have the enzyme cleaner ready for your carpet.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.R.

answers from San Francisco on

Your daughter doesn't seem to be ready yet, that is awfully young. I would wait awhile and try agian when she is older, maybe in 6 months or so.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from San Francisco on

She's not even two...She's not ready. Back off and try again later.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

You know, this is an on going debate. I have 3 kids. Two girls 7 and 4, and one boy, 2 (3 in July).

My philosophy on potty training is such: when THEY are ready, they will go.

My oldest girl is totally a free spirit. She is strong willed and likes to be very independent. But potty training was NOT something she wanted to do. Being the first child I took it as it came. And one day (she was 3 and some odd months) I said "you know you can't go to preschool wearing diaper, you have to go in the potty". The next day, we were out of diapers, in pretty panties and she was going. No problems. We maybe had 1 accident in a week. She wasn't even wetting the bed.
Second girl was 3. She was more stubborn. We were training her earlier than my older daughter, because she was already in preschool and the teachers wanted to move her over the the older kids class. With the help and encouragement of school, we did it. But it took one month!

My son, super smart. Can read all his letters and number up to 15. I know this will come late. As boys are later than girls anyway. I am not worried about it. He doesn't care that he has a super soggy diaper, or even poop. He'd rather be jumping on the giant trampoline or playing with his train.

I say don't rush it. It will happen.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.P.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.,It was my experience that most children will be potty trained by the time they are three. It can be difficult when you try to train them at an earlier age. You get frustrated and then your frustration can be directed toward your child. Don't pull your hair out, be calm and know that your child is unique and he/she will eventually be potty trained.I have raised to sons and my first son had quite a difficult time and my younger son seemed to train himself by the age of three. I know how important it seem at this time but hang in there at little longer.
W. p

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Please! Don't mean to be rude but, are you kidding? She's not ready! She's not 2 yet. Relax and give her some time- you can't force it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from Sacramento on

My daughter was about the same age when she showed signs of being ready. We went to the store and let HER pick out which panties she wanted to use. Everytime she went on the potty, we would give her one tiny fruit snack (which she also picked out). Most of the time she did very well but, of course, she had her accidents. When she would have an accident, we would have her clean up her mess. She would take her clothes off and put them in the laundry room. She would have to clean up the peepee off the floor or pull her sheets off of her bed. It didn't take her long. It's been a year and she does still have a few accidents but she did learn pretty quick.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

O.D.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.,

At 23 months, not all kids are ready to be potty trained at that young age. Most kids are ready or show interest at 3 yrs. I think this will stress you out and your child too. I would wait until she shows interest. In the meantime, get some books or other activities that are surrounded with potty training so that you can read to your child.
Also, once I got my daughter into preschool and she started to see the otherkids going. She was ready to be a big girl. She was 3yrs old. Boys usually start training between 3-3.5 yrs old.

Hang in there.... your daughter will be trained soon enough. I say, don't rush her natural process.

Good Luck.....I hope this helps. (I'm a mother of 3, I've had some experience).

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.M.

answers from San Francisco on

My suggestion would be to give it a break and try again in a month. Every kid has her/her own schedule for these things and maybe she's not ready or not interested. It could take another year! Forcing it won't help. Since I just got through this in the past year, I do know that it will happen.

J.P.

answers from Stockton on

23 months is a little bit young for some kids to potty train -if she is not ready - then I would just hold off for a while. Why do you feel that she needs to be potty trained right now? Usually around 3 years old is typical - and you shouldn't even start trying to potty train until they have dry diapers at night. When she is ready, it will be an easy task - and believe me, it is actually easier to have them in diapers - once they are potty trained and they have to go to the bathroom in a public place, it is a nightmare - those bathrooms are rarely clean! I would hold off for a while!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.D.

answers from Modesto on

She's probably not ready. Check out this website for help.

Website: http://www.easypottytraining.com

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.M.

answers from San Francisco on

My experience has been, if you wait until they are ready, it's almost effortless. My girls were both ready at about 2 3/4 years.

Good luck!
L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

P.L.

answers from San Francisco on

She's not ready, the more you push the harder it will be. Just stop until she asks. 23 months is not that old. Remember a lot of mothers will tell you thier kids are potty trained but what they dont tell you is they have accidents all day!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.,

Perhaps she just isn't ready. I wouldn't push it if I were you. I tried to push my son when he wasn't ready and it was a disaster. When I finally decided to lay off, he waited a while (until he was three) and then it was really no problem. People always told me that they'll let you know when they're ready, but I didn't believe them. Now I do and will not push my second child.

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.L.

answers from Sacramento on

R.- this can be the most frustrating thing, but attitude is everything here. Keep it up beat, fun, happy and forgiving. Decide for yourself today is going to be a fresh start at this. Long sits on the potty chair waiting are counter productive. If yuo cabn guess about when accidents happen be alert and look for signs- like right after breakfast. Immediately after a nap, and so on. Have a stack of her favorite books by the potty chair. Do the " hey it's potty time at those most likely times. Make it fun! " Hey sweetie- let's go potty. Momma will read yu your favorite story while you go." position her where she is most comfortable- on small chair or big toilet with a child adapter. Ask her if she is comfortable- and what story she'd like to hear. Listen for "going" sounds while you read. As she relaxes she will probably be productive. When you hear tinkle sounds get excited. "Did yuo go tinkle (pee-pee, what ever your word is)? Smile - get happy reward her with positive praise. After wiping and redressing is done, hugs, kisses, and a sticker for the potty chart(let her go to the store and pick puppy, princess, kitty, soccer stickers what wever her favorite is and reserve them ONLY for this purpose. Give it value. Aftetr the chart and hugs are done... we do a potty dance. Simular to the Macarana. "We went pee-pee in the pottie, pee-pee in the pottie!" Anyone in the house joins our 2 minute dance of excitement as we dance thru the house, maybe you'll have to carry her for thisas you bounce around gleefully. You only have to dance for a few weeks then it's ok to drop this part. But it is so helpful to add to the positive response in the beginning. Don't frighten her with a lot of screaming and jumping up and down- just let her see how happy going potty has made you and her both. Now if no pee pee is made and she's ready to get down talk a minute, " You didn't go pee pee? You don't have to now?? That's ok, we'll come back in a little while. Still give hugs and kisses and thank her for trying, But absolutely no stickers or dance. Then don't forget to keep asking or checking, or if you see her stop or squat or show signs grab her up lovingly and say uh-o you got to go pee pee. Let run to the potty and positive training practices begin again, "want to read a story, or Oh you already went pee - let's sit here a minute and see idf you need to go any more." Be sure she can tell when she is getting wet to. All these keep dry products, oullups, diapers and such have a way of keeping them so dry they don't tell when they are wetting themself. Use regular panties or those feel wet pullups so they can reallty see what happens when they release their urine. Lots of love and unsderstanding and stay positive. Simple charts work best Seven colums with a day on top of eackh. Soon each column will be loaded with that days progress.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.J.

answers from San Francisco on

She may not be fully ready yet...don't rush, it'll only stress yourself out and in turn stress her out.
My son is 26 mos right now and just starting to be ready. I taught 2-5 years olds before he was born and there was such a broad range of readiness in all those kiddos.

Good luck, but don't rush :)
~K.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from San Francisco on

My son is going on 2 1/2 and just started wanting to go on the potty. I didn't really push it, I brought it up to his doctor when he was 2 but she just told me when he is ready he will let you know. So maybe she just isn't ready.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My advice--it's too soon! When a child is under two years old, they may very well NOT be ready yet for potty training. No big deal, don't sweat it, don't push it, don't force it. Just step back and wait six months (or more) until your child begins giving you cues that she is really ready. These may include pulling her diapers off herself, running to the bathroom to watch older sibs, parents, cousins or playmates use the potty, staying dry through the night or a 3-4 hour stretch during the day, asking you to wear big girl underwear, etc. Your child is giving you clear signs that she is not ready, and this is NORMAL for a child not yet two years old. Your sweetie will succeed in using the potty, but don't force her at this time.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Sounds like she is not ready. very few kids, even girls, are potty trained before two. sounds like you need to take a step back and make sure she is showing all signs of readiness (can find info on signs in books or on babycenter and other websites). In the meantime, Once Upon a Potty is an excellent book for increasing her interest in potty training -- it comes in both a girl and boy version. If you don't take a break for a few months from actually trying to get her to use the potty, you could easily end up in a power struggle, and you'll need to take a break anyway. Give her some time.

BTW, just saw the post about early potty training. I have heard of this (saw something on TV). My friend actualy tried this with her child and thought it was working. However, at almost 2.5, her child is still in diapers (not that there'e anything wrong w/ being in diapers at that ge, my son was. Point is that it didn't work for her). I know this is just one data point, but your daughter is old enough now to want to exert her will. She likely needs to feel like she has some control over the situation. Kids figure out very quickly that their bodily functions are one area parents cannot control terribly well, and they will use that against you if they are feeling pressured!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My son (now 5 years old) didn't go on his own until after his 3rd birthday. I thought for sure he was behind the pack...and at daycare, he was. He was the oldest of 3 around his same age and the other 2 were going potty like champs, where my little one just wouldn't. I tried everything, potty charts, candy, targets in the potty, etc. and nothing worked. I was getting so frustrated, that I found I was getting mad at him when he wouldn't go...then I had to stop myself. I decided to just slyly encourage him by taking him with me to the bathroom (and having my husband do the same) wherever we were. I would then ask him "do you need to use the potty?" One day, we were on an airplane, and he turned to me and said, "Mommy, I think I need to go potty!" Yes, I was definitely surprised. So, I walked him to the potty, he pulled down his pull up and went...all by himself. From that point on, it was all him. And you know, I feel like because he was truly ready, he didn't have as many accidents as others. He slept through the night without wetting, etc.
The reason I told you that is because your child is going to go when she is ready. My little girl is now 25 months. And although she tells me when she has a dirty diaper, and we have a potty set up for her, I am not going to push her to use the potty. I don't believe in forcing my kids to potty train just to be on the same curve as others or to work into the timeline of a pre-school or daycare.
Needless to say, kids know when they're ready.
Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Just stop trying! She will get it in her own time. After several failed attempts at getting our 3.5 year old potty trained, I asked her pediatrician for pointers. He told us not to worry, not to pressure. Shortly after that appointment, I told my daughter that she was old enough to know when she had to go potty & if she wanted to use the toilet, she could let me know. Then we just let her be. A few weeks later, while getting her dressed, she announced that she no longer wanted to wear diapers. And that was it! We've had very few accidents & no fuss.
You'll feel so much better if you can just let go of the need to get her potty trained. She'll get it. . . good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.T.

answers from Redding on

First and foremost, I will start this by saying my daughter is 16 months and we have slowly started potty training. She has a potty which she carries around (maybe not the best idea...ha-ha) and she has a couple of potty books...SO i am giving this piece of input as a third party...one of my dearest friends has a now 4 year old who started using the toilet when she was about 2 years old or so and then relapsed when a new sisier came on scene. She now uses the toilet perfectly and what worked best for her parents was balloons every time she went! The house would be filled with balloons and the toileting went great...just a thought.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.J.

answers from San Francisco on

She may not be ready yet. Just back off, take the pressure off of her, and leave the potty chair where she can see it. The more you push it, the harder it will be on both of you. Wait until she starts to show some real interest, and it will go a LOT easier. I waiting until my son was 3, and we were done in 2 months flat. Most other moms I knew who started before age 2 ended up taking a year before their children were able to be accident-free.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.Y.

answers from San Francisco on

I have a 24 month old daughter and am having the same problem. All I can say is that she probably isn't ready. I would never force her because I feel that can be tramatic to a child. Plus, if they are potty trained before they are ready there will be more accidents. I just try to keep her interested and ask her every day if she wants to go on the "big girl" toilet. Good Luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

G.W.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi R.:

We had the same experience with our daughter about that age. After trying everything and after some frustrating experiences on both sides, we finally realized she just wasn't ready. About six months later she annouced that she wanted to use the big girl potty and from that day forward she was potty trained.

Her doctor said that many children aren't ready until the age of three.

Good luck and God Bless!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R. -

Personally I think 23 months is too young! My kids were well past 2 when I trained them and they took to it very quickly. Most of the friends did the same and it worked great once they were more mature and understood more close to 3.

Good luck!
C.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.L.

answers from Sacramento on

R. - Don't worry, I have a 3 year old son and I was so concerned about him getting potty trained then one day it happened. It will happen when it is right for your child.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.B.

answers from San Francisco on

It could simply be that it is not time. If she feels at all pressured it probably won't end well. Many children don't potty train until closer to three.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.R.

answers from Bakersfield on

It finally took me til my daughter was three to get her completely potty trained. What I had to start doing was spanking her and putting her in the corner cause she knew she was suppose to go in the toliet pee anyways but wasn't doing it. After that she started doing both and was pretty much potty trained. Try buying sone what they call PRETTY Panties. Tell her she can't wear them unless she goes in the toilet. Let her pick out the panties she wants so you know she will like them.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.F.

answers from San Francisco on

Your daughter is not ready. It's not her fault, or your's for trying, but her brain has not yet made the important connections to control her bladder and bowels. It will happen, in time... I would tell her that "we are giving this potty idea a break" and when SHE is ready to try to let you know. Drop the candy and the charts - both inappropriate and way too much pressure/work for a not-yet-two-year old! Wait until this summer when she's at least three years old and it's nice and warm and she only needs to be wearing a diaper and t-shirt (like July/August/September). This will provide easier access to the bottom hitting the toilet. And then put out the potty chair again along with a pair of "big girl" panties. Tell her to call if she needs help, but that if she is ready to go potty in the toilet/potty chair she can wear the panties for the rest of the day. Don't make a big deal out of it, let it be her choice. Believe me, if you do this at the right time, a cute pair of princess panties go a whole lot further than a ton of candy! Understand that peeing in the toilet during the day comes first. Diapers still need to be on for the night time. And often going "poopy", or having bowel movements come later. My daugher used the potty, but waited for the diaper to go poopy. She also hated to flush the toilet because it was too loud. Funny little creatures our darling children! But rest assured, she did eventually learn to use the toilet - she's in college now. Her roommates are still working with her on the flushing part!

Relax, have fun. Growing up shouldn't be so hard. And if your daycare/mom/grandma are rushing your daughter to be potty trained, have them email me to whine! [email protected]____.com
M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.L.

answers from Sacramento on

Most children do not have the physical ability to control urine until after two years old. Pressuring her will only make it worse. Take a break from potty training. Probably in a few months she will want to do it on her own. For sure she will eventually toilet herself; everyone does. In the meantime Just relax and keep changing diapers with a smile!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi R.,
23 months is pretty early to potty train. I have heard stories of people being successful that early, but they are few and far inbetween. Usually, it is easier when they are closer to 2 1/2 or 3 and show signs of being ready to train. Once they decide they are ready, then the whole process will be much faster and less frustrating for all.
Good luck!
Kara - mom to 4

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Interestingly enough my mom always said when the child is ready they will do it. My daughter was just under 2 years old when she was potty trained. We'd try it every now and then and then one day (not at a time when we were trying) she told me she wanted to go potty on the potty and then a day or so later she told me she didn't need diapers or pull-ups anymore.

Sometimes it's the our stress that they feel and become resistent too. It's when I was able to let it go that it happened.

Good Luck,
L.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I did not start my daughter with potty training until she was 2 and a half years old (30 months). They understand it a lot better then and can actually start to control their bodies and understand when they have to go with enough time to walk to the bathroom. Is there a reason she needs to be potty trained by 2 years old? I would suggest waiting if you can. The process can take a while and if you start early and they are not ready it is many months of heartache and wet pants! Try again in the summer!
~Good luck!
J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.K.

answers from San Francisco on

She may not be ready yet. With my daughter I had to try and then wait a few weeks, try again and then wait again. When she was ready she trained in 1 day.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.Y.

answers from San Francisco on

This was a question I had too, when my daughter started showing interest and ability to use the potty. My sister gave me some crazy advise that I tried, and it really worked! She potty trained her son by taking off his pants while he was in the house. Yes, pants, pull ups everything. Kids get used to the diaper "catching" thier messes, but they really don't like peeing on themselves. My daughter had maybe 2 or 3 dribbles in the first couple of days, but she quickly got herself into the bathroom. Within a week or so, she had the routine of catching herself before she had to go, and she hasn't had an accident since then. Try it, it really works and of course kids love to be pants-less.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.H.

answers from San Francisco on

We used bubble gum balls for my son. One for pee and two for poo. That was the only thing that worked. We baught a bubble gum machine and he got pennies he got to do himself. Don't forget nothing to drink after 6pm.

M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Although "you" might be ready for potty training, your daughter may not be. I know most of us mothers think 2 is the magic number that our kids should be trained, but I truly believe it depends on the child, whether they have older siblings (to mimic), are you a stay at home Mom, and several other factors that I'm sure most of us aren't even aware of. With that being said, don't give up, but don't pressure too much.

Now some actual advice: My mother, who raised 10 kids, swears by real underwear. She feels pull-ups have absolutely ruined potty training. So I tried her advice and had to let my daughter potty on herself and her beautiful little panties. Of course, you need to be at home to do this and not out in public. And you have to be consistent. My mom says it should take a week. Well, for my daughter, that seemed to give her the nudge she needed to take potty training seriously. However, she was 30 months and then fully trained by 33 months (I had been trying, though, since before 24 months).

Anyway, I probably didn't totally answer your question but I hope it helps. I think the rewards and chart thing is also a great idea. Keep trying then get ready for the terrible twos!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.H.

answers from Salinas on

Hi R.,

I would wait another six - nine months and try again. 23 months is pretty young to start. Girls the average age is around three years, and boys around 4 years.

And, give yourself a little break too - once they "train" you'll be having to run to every potty when you are out and about. That becomes a hassle for awhile too. Can you tell potty trainng was not my favorite milestone?

J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Some children are ready for potty training at different ages. She's not even 2 yet. Give her a few more months or even up to a year and try again. She'll potty train when she's mature enough. Have patience and give her time.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.T.

answers from San Francisco on

I agree with Amanda, your daughter is very young, wait. As my pedi use to say she won't go to college in a diaper. At this age you are the one being trained

good luck

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Wait a while! Try again when she is 2.5. And remember to give her options, toilet or potty, outside in the bush (if it is warm) or inside. So that she feels that she is in control. It will take a while before it works. You have to be very patient... which is hard :-) Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.T.

answers from San Francisco on

Maybe she isn't as ready as you are! Everyone is on their own time frame.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

H.M.

answers from San Francisco on

23 months is very early and bribing her with candy still doesn't help her body and mind be ready for it. Slow down, take the pressure off and it wll happen when it's supposed to and you will find it will be easy and there will be no accidents because she really is ready.

She may show desire, but wanting to do it and being able to do it are too different things. My son potty trained at about 33 months, and we never had an accident. Friends who potty trained at 2 years old had great difficulty and often found that at 3 and older were regressing back into diapers.

My daughter who is 33 months now seems to be on the same path as her big brother (and I was told girls potty trained earlier!). She can and does use the potty, but not regularly. We offer it and celebrate when she uses it, but she's not ready to use it exclusively. I know soon we will be there and without the pressure it will be easy.

Don't let other's pressure you... it's not always easy (and believe me I felt it too) but let your daughter lead the way and you won't need to stress about it. This is the advise my friend who is a child development expert gave and it was right on.

Good luck, remember when her body and mind are ready it will be so easy... and fun!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from San Francisco on

23 months is pretty early. I have 4 kids, and I suggest waiting until they are good and ready. Then it happens in just a few days. Don't even bother before then - it is frustrating for you and frustrating for them and gives an excuse for a power struggle.
One of my kids wasn't ready until he was almost 4 - then he was potty trained in 2 days and hardly ever had an accident again. My other three kids were ready about age 3 or 3 1/2 -

Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.M.

answers from Sacramento on

Hi R., I would suggest waiting a month or so and try again. When I started potty training my now 5 year old at about 2 it was a nightmare. I would have her try every 20 minutes or so and the second she got off the potty she would have an accident. We stayed home for days fighting it. We gave her candy rewards, charts, etc. Then I gave up and began a month or so later and it was so much better. Good Luck.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.B.

answers from Sacramento on

I think 23 months is on the young side for her to actually have the control and suceed at going by choice. At 30 months my granddaughter can go on demand (since she was two) and tell you seconds or a minute at best before she needs to go, but can't hold it long. For a few months she had little accidents, and then could catch herself and finish in the toilet. This success I'm quite sure is because she wants to be grown up, and we let her wear panties. At 2 years, toilet sucesses are mostly because Mommy is trained to take the child at regular intervals. A way to find out if your child can go at will is to set her on the potty before her bath when the water is running. Once she can go on demand, you can put her in panties and take her every 2 hours to go, to eliminate most accidents. Depending on the distractions or what is going on, most children will still have accidents before they get full control some time before or around age 3, I think.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.W.

answers from Salinas on

Just relax... she clearly is not ready yet. Everyone learns how to use the potty. I personally think 23 months is too early to even think about it. My first daughter didn't start until 2 and a half and my 3 and a half year old just started four months ago! I had purchased their potty at 2 years old for both of them to introduce the idea and have them feel special in knowing they had their own, but they didn't actually use it for quite a while. They do it when they are ready and when you force things on children you turn it into such a negative emotional issue. Give her lots of love and praise and know that she will learn it as every child does!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.V.

answers from Sacramento on

Sounds to me like she's not ready. Why are you in such a hurry? If you wait until she is ready, you can potty train in one day instead of struggling with it for months.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.G.

answers from Salinas on

Dear R.:
I can only share my own experience when it comes to potty training. I'm NOT an expert, but this area has been a really easy one for us. I feel the reason it's been so easy is that I let me kids tell me when they were ready. For my son it was when he was exactly 3 and 1/2. For my daughter is was two weeks ago and she will be 3 at the beginning of May. I'm just wondering if you're trying too early? I know I am probably letting them go too long, they're too old, etc., but I have to tell you it's been SO easy...no rewards, no charts, AND no accidents (at lease VERY minimal), no issues at all. They were both excited and proud and then it was "old hat". I chalk it up to letting them dictate to me when they were really ready. AND, trust me I like to have the upper hand, but in this area I realized I couldn't control it.
I don't know if that helps. It's just that when I read your note, the first thing I thought was...maybe she's not ready.
Good luck to you. T.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.,
Are you sure your daughter is ready? Has she been showing signs of interest in using a big potty? Unfortunately many times these little darlings have their own agenda even though we think it should be happening right now. If it's later, don't feel bad, every kid is different. If you think she is ready then try having her "try" every 15 -20 minutes, especially after having something to eat or drink. When she does go, of course make a BIG deal out of it. I had a little basket of little rewards, like stickers, and any other little dollar store items that she got to pick a prize when she went. This may not have helped but good luck and don't get too frustrated over it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.D.

answers from San Francisco on

R.,

My best advice after 3 daughters and 1 granddaughter who i have potty trained... wait... she will decided when.. and then it will go fast.. but if you push before she is ready... you will get resistence...

D... Mother.. Grandmother... the greatest gift to me has been becoming a grandmother...

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.R.

answers from Stockton on

She's not ready yet. Just give it some more time, eventually she'll get there. Really, you don't see adults walking around in diapers -- everyone gets there at some point! Take it from a mommy of two potty-trained kiddos: they're all different and it will happen at some point. Just be patient and don't force it or it will backfire on you. Even if some little ones her age are potty-trained that doesn't mean it's right for her right now. And, really, at just 2, she's still soooo little, there's no need to push it, it will come in due time.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.H.

answers from San Francisco on

23 months is generally too young unless the child has shown interest on her own. Wait six months and try again, or wait until she shows some interest. Most important is not to pressure, cajole or get irritated. Keep calm and cool. She'll learn almost instantly when she is ready. Relax.

I have an 11 yo and an 17 yo, both potty trained. I am a child and adolescent psychiatrist.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from San Francisco on

Do you need to train her now? Have you considered that she is not ready yet? I really believe kids do it when they are ready. I did not think my daughter would get out of diapers but one day last summer she was not wearing a diaper and refused to put one on when she needed to pee. So finally she peed on the potty and never wore a diaper again. But all my attempts prior to that did not work. She was 2 yrs 9 months. And since she was ready we litterally had only a couple of pee pee accidents. She only wore a diaper at night for a month or two.

Things to look for in readiness: Does she talk about pee pee or poo poo, is she wanting her diaper off, can she tell you she needs to go prior to doing it, is she waking up dry at night?

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.! I just wanted to say that potty training cannot be rushed and your little girl is still younger than most kids who are able to potty train. I wonder if you're in a hurry for a particular reason? Others will give you good advice, I'm sure, but I just wanted to mention that she is young and pressure on her to potty train will probably not give you the results you want. Good luck! Sorry I can't give you better advice, my daughter is 24 months and we haven't started potty training her seriously yet (we have the potty out, she sits on it and pretends to wipe herself, we talk about it, etc.).

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.W.

answers from Merced on

my advice, let her tell you when she is ready. I had a daycare and that is what the parents and I would do with the kids. I GUARANTEE you when she is ready you'll be SHOCKED at how easy it will be. Thought my son was ready at one point (because he would go hours with clean diapers on and I was changing him 2-3 times a day) and tried but went through 6 pairs of undies in 20 minutes. Waited a couple months and one day he said, "Mommy, I wanna go potty in the toilet!" and that was it. He has had 3 accidents since, 2 being while he had the flu, and it has been nearly a year. Just wait it out. She'll tell you. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.C.

answers from San Francisco on

You may be trying too early. My daughter is almost 29 months and she's not cooperating with potty training either. She'll sit on the potty (could sit for hours) and once she's off and I put the diaper on, she goes in her diaper. She's shown me that she's ready - when she goes, she asks me to change her diaper, and she'll pull on her diaper after she's gone. She's gone a few times in the pot, but I don't think she's totally grasped the concept yet. We're just taking it slow and asking her if she wants to sit on the potty. If she doesn't go, we just say "maybe next time!" in hopes that some day we'll start making more progress. Sorry, I don't have any better advice for you. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.A.

answers from Sacramento on

Please don't take this wrong, but maybe your daughter is just not ready yet. Not even 2 seems very young. My girls potty trained right around 3 years and it was quite easy because they wanted it too, not just me. One thing I've heard is that it's good to just have a schedule - every 45 mintues or so, take her to the potty and let her try. Eventually she'll have success and get the hang of what it feels like. Then you can make a big deal of it and celebrate. Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Nothing worked for my son (almost 3, stubborn). Then one day we were at the park with other mothers and children, the dawn broke, he noticed all the other kids were using the potty and he decided he would too. That did it! (Each child is different.) Hope you find the trick for your daughter.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

V.G.

answers from San Francisco on

Hi R.,
23 months can be hard to potty train. I have gone through it with both my kids and I can tell you from experience that you need to wait until SHE is ready. No amount of bribery is going to shift the power struggle. Some kids just take a little longer and you need to be OK with it. The more you force the issue the more she will resist!!!
Be patient, and remember you never see a teenager in diapers:)
Good Luck,
V.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches