Potty Training - Mansfield,TX

My daughter was 3 as well. She literally would just scream and wail whenever we put her on the potty or toilet. She used "big girl" panties like they were diapers. We finally just kept her completely naked at home and she finally got the message. She still didn't like the toilet but would use it.

First - you aren't late and she may not be totally ready. Every child is different, so whoever told you that she HAD to be trained by the time she was 3 was way off.

If you make it a power struggle (like my brother-in-law did) you could end up with physical problems. My niece refused to go poop in the toilet as well and she ended up impacted and in the hospital because they were trying to force her to go and she refused.

I would talk to my pediatrition, see what their recommendations are regarding potty training and go from there. If nothing is working - she's either not ready or taking control of the power struggle. Don't worry so much about it, she's not going to be graduating H.S. in a diaper!! She'll get there.

God Bless-
C.

I second the response that 3 is not late.

We had to have my daughter trained by the time she started preschool at a private school in Dallas. She turned three in late July and school started in late August (this was three years ago). I was stressed trying to make it work, and felt like we were pushing her to meet the school's requirements instead of letting it happen on her timetable. Most of the kids in the preschool were 6-12 months older. She ended up being potty trained and it wasn't as big of a struggle as I thought it might be.

We put a sticker chart on the mirror next to the toilet and each time she went, she got 1 sticker, but if she pooped, she got two stickers. She got to pick out the sticker(s) and place them on the "chart" which wasn't a very structured chart - just a white piece of paper. She loved getting to place the sticker(s) wherever she wanted. Once she got X number of stickers, she got to select a prize from the prize bag. The prizes were cheap things like a box of crayons, a toy ring, etc. We only used the chart and the prize bag for a month or two max.

Does the school have auto-flushing toilets or was she exposed to one? I have heard several stories of children being afraid to use any toilet after their experience with an auto-flushing toilet that goes off before the child is done. I saw the recommendation to put a sticky note over the flush detector so it won't go off.

Good luck!

I'd get the book "Everybody poops" and read it to her. It helped my daughter in being willing to go on the potty.

A few questions. Is she still wearing diapers or pull ups? It would help to buy some pretty panties so she can immediately feel when she gets wet. The other thing is that YOU need to relax! October is a long time away.. At her age, you are working with her will to want to potty. I am sure your stress as well as the pressure from her "school" is stressing her out too.

I would try to make it FUN. Give her a small incentive to make her want to use the potty. Most children can be trained quickly. Make the potty chair easily accessible to her and make sure she is wearing clothing that is easy for her to remove herself.

With one of my children, she would be so excited to be lifted up in the air and have everyone cheer and clap for her. Another one of mine loved M & Ms so when she did number 1 she got one M&M and when she did number 2 she got 2 M&Ms. No one else in the family got M&Ms but her while she was being trained. Find something she is delighted with and use it to your advantage. But most of all let it be fun and stress how BIG she is when she uses the potty. Don't berate her if she has an accident~ be positive.

K. Voigtsberger
www.wholeheartbirth.com

We never used pullups because my daughter didn't differentiate between them and diapers. With my daughter, the panties (Disney Princess, to be exact) were key. We would talk about how only big girls got to wear Cinderella and Cinderella didn't want to get wet or get pooped on. (Crazy the things we Moms come up with!) Every time she peed in the potty she got a little princess sticker and for poop she got a big princess sticker. Then after a month or so the stickers phased out and she just got excited about being a big girl and us making such a fuss over her.

Hope this helps.

B. my suggestion to you is to give her the choice to wear panties or training pants, and don't push her to use the potty, having accidents will make her feel unconfortable, ask her to let you know when she needs to go #1 or#2 and again give her the choice to either pee in training pants or in the potty, but also tell her that if she decide to use potty there wil be a surprice and if she decide the trainning p there is no surprise!!!
My 3 year old loves M&M's and I gave her a few of them each time she used the potty. Show her love and patience, I think it is not healthy at all holding poop for a week, offer her to do it in the trainning pants, better that, than knowing she is in pain .
Hopfully I was of help!!!!

The answer is . . . back off, because she's not ready. I have three daughters and none of them was potty-trained until shortly after they turned 3. My oldest seemed trained at 2 1/2 -- she was great with pee-pee, but pooping was a nightmare. And we kept pushing which created such stress and then she started having constipation issues . . . it was all a disaster. We finally backed off. The week or two before she turned 3, we started casually introducing the concept to her that "3 year olds are big girls and go poopy in the potty." And I mean casual . . . we didn't want to be in her face and start causing stress again. Well, 3 weeks after her 3rd birthday it was a done deal. My youngest daughter is 3 1/2 years old and wasn't trained at all when she turned 3 this past January and she had resisted our attempts to start the process (she did pee-pee and poopy once in the potty but she was totally freaked out by it!). Yet by the end of February it was a done deal -- because she was mentally ready for it. One day my MIL (who helps watch her while I work) asked her if she wanted to go in the potty and she said OK and she went. And then a couple of days later she was willing to do it again. Funny thing was she absolutely refused to do it for me. It tooks a couple of more weeks before we got over that hump but then it was full steam ahead!

Don't set a deadline. I highly suggest you and the pre-school give it a rest for now, at least for 6-8 weeks. Let her feel more relaxed. Then just ask if she wants to . . . if she says no, wait a couple of days and try again. Let her be a part of the process and you may find she is a more willing participant than if she is feeling forced. Good luck!

Hi B.! I have 8 kids, and trust me 3 is not too late! They are all different even with the same genetics! If I were you I would back off and tell her not to worry and that when she is ready that would be great. The physical and emotional impact is not worth it. Some of mine didn't get potty trained until 4. Some were as early as 2 1/2! Don't stress out and let her know it's okay when she is ready. Let the preschool know as well. Encourage but tell her you love her and if she's not ready yet, that's okay. You'll work on it together. Best wishes and God Bless!

I'd encourage you to step back and let her take the lead. I am a strict developmentalist when it comes to the issue of potty training. It doesn't sound like she is ready, and the attention from school and home may be stressing her out too (remember, children are like little human baraometers, they know when their parents are stressed). Some kids do this earlier, but many times it is the parents (or school) that is really trained, along with a really compliant kid. The most important thing to do is to avoid any punishment or belittling, which only adds to the pressure. One thing that worked for me was a sticker chart in front of the potty (oval shaped potty that you could lift the lid to put stickers). It's about positive reinforcement for progress and ignoring slip ups. If she is still having problems in 6 months or so, talk to your pediatrician. You may have already tried dietary restrictions/additions to make "holding it" less of an option (limit cheese, add in fruits and juices). Good luck and relax, you are not late!!

Oh, and we also LOVED, "The Princess and the Potty" about a princess who refused to go potty.

I would talk to her and come up with a plan she likes. I plan on doing the sticker chart reward system. The FIRST time she goes poopy on the potty, give her a reward (could be going somewhere special, a sweet treat or just a toy) then after every time she poops on the potty after that, she gets a sticker of her choice. After 5 poopies she gets another reward.. I think if she doesnt go on the potty, should their be a no no reward?? Like taking a sticker away???
Good luck