Potty Training - Kent,WA

HI A.,

Have you tried talking to her about why she won't go potty? Sometimes they are afraid they are literally losing a part of themselves since they cannot distinguish the fact that they are getting rid of waste. All they know is that they went potty and now they are supposed to flush away a part of themselves. If they understand it is body waste and something they do not want or need, it can alleviate fear and anxiety regarding going to the bathroom on a toilet or potty.

I also have an article on potty training on my website that offers a lot of advice as well.

http://www.punkinbutt.com/article_info.php?articles_id=24

Sincerely,
A.

This is not uncommon, it could be a couple of reasons. But the best advice I can give you, is she will do it when she is ready. My daughter did the same thing, and after discipling her a couple of times, she started holding it in. This caused her GREAT pain, even took her to the pediatrician, who told us she will in her time. So we backed off, and had to give her things to make go. It took another 2ish months to get regular. After that we left her alone for another month or two, and started potty training again. It only took a week. Right after her 3rd Birhtday.
I hope this helps....

I think she may be too young.

Our daughter also showed signs of being ready at 18 months so we bought her a potty system. This backfired after her initial effort and interest.

Her doctor told us to just wait, not to push. So we waited, and now she is almost three (in a couple of weeks).

I've written about what we're doing now at http://growingcurious.typepad.com

Hi A., I am a mother of a 3 1/2 year old daughter. We started having her sit on a potty trainer before the age of 2. At first, we would have her sit on it in the morning, in the afternoon and just right before she goes to bed. She was doing fine and seemed to like it. After a few months, she got bored and lost interest. So I bought her a potty book and I would read that to her everytime she would sit on the potty. That got her interested in it again... Well, at least for a a little while. So, I thought to use a different method. I decided to try using candy to bribe her to use the potty. I know using candy may not sound like the greatest of ideas, but it worked for us. Everytime I wanted her to use the potty, I would set the piece of candy on the bathroom counter and tell her she could have it as soon as she would use it. I found that using the candy worked the best at getting her to use the potty on a consistent basis. You could also try bribing her with other things (ie. toys). Be patient & good luck!

Hello A.. My daughter went thru the same thing and she is the only child. They do potty trainging at their own pace. With my daughter I think it was a power thing. She knew that we wanted her to use the potty and knew she'd get a reaction out of us if she didnt use it.

But what we found to work the best was to get her out of those diapers; even the ones that have the wetliner or fading stars. They still are a safety net and kids dont feel the icky wetness that makes them want to change. Let your daughter go pick out some panties and have her start wearing them during the day. When she has accidents she will feel it all, not like it and want to use the potty so she wont get the feeling again. When we got rid of the diapers our daughter was potty trained in less than a week.

Have lots of patience and know that she will get used to using the big potty... just when she's ready :)

Progression in the face of regression. It could be she is "acting out" because of your new little one. It will change, just hang in there. :)

Hi - So many people told me to expect my son who is now 4, to regress on potty training when the new baby came. I think that maybe this is what is happening..? He was doing great at not wetting his bed at night at age of 3 until I got put on bed rest a month before the baby was due and BAM, he started wetting his bed at night and is still struggling with it even now. I dont know how long it will last. Your daughter has a new sibling in the house now and I think this is normal for them to regress. Hang in there, it will get better!

There is a new baby in the house... she wears diapers and gets so much more attention than she does.... is it any wonder she wants to wear a diaper again? This is so common for a young child who started potty training just before a new baby came along.

Ignore it for a while. Just let her wear a diaper. When she is ready again, let her give you the cue. It will be much easier when it becomes HER idea. When she expresses an interest again..do whatever you were doing when you first started training her, rewards, praise or whatever you were doing. Perhaps buy her a package of underwear with some character on them that she likes as a motivator "when you can stay dry for a say..you can wear these!" or even let her wear them over her diaper for a while and suggest that she may be more comfortable without the diaper.

She is still pretty young compared to most kids that are completely potty trained - out of five I only had one that did it that young (and she trained herself.. I had nothing to do with it or well.. very little anyway, she was quite self-motivated) Give her a period of time where she thinks it is no big deal to be in diapers anymore. Make no mention of the toilet. It might be a little extra work for you changing diapers for a while.. but I bet it won't be that long... and changing diapers would actually be easier than dealing with messes. When she is ready to use the toilet again.... let her tell you. You may even want to put away the training toilet if you had one out. Don't tell her just put it away and if she asks you where it is just casually say "Oh... you weren't using it anymore, so I put it away for now. When you are ready to use it again, let me know. I'll get it out again." then say no more and see what she does.

best wishes

Hi A.,

Both of my girls went through this as well! More than likely the issue is the new baby in the house. She may be wanting to keep being a baby for a while longer too.

Spend some time with her one on one. Have dad take the new baby or do it while baby is napping. Then show her baby pictures and talk about what she was like when she was a baby. Then also talk about how proud of her you are. All the fun "big girl" things that she can do now that she couldn't do when she was a baby.

This may take more than one talk, but I found that it works wonders. Be patient in the mean time. I had to put my oldest back in diapers (rather than pull ups) for a couple of weeks during this time, but eventually she decided to be a big girl and potty train again.

Big hugs to you both!

All the best, K.

I would agree with the majority here that she is not ready & is also regressing because of the birth of her sibling recently.
I would suggest that you don't take the responces here as your final answer but that you do sufficient research for yourself to find a solution. A lot of times people have strong emotional opinions about topics relating to parenting. However the bottom line is, it is your child & you get to make the final decision. Knowledge is power. Look it up. Find the answers so that you can be comfortable knowing you made the best decision possible.
I happen to be in the attachment parenting group so if you want my advice it would be to head over to www.mothering.com & look up potty training.
Also, I would suggest that you consider doing something called Elimination Communication with your baby. It might help your older one in the future to be more self aware & catch on to potty training easier when she is ready. Just do a search for it online. And if you are worried about adding diapers to the landfill EC will eliminate them. Or you can switch your oldest to cloth diapers & see if the sensation of being wet will help her along the path as well.
Hope this helps!
A.

Hi A....I'm a mom to 4 children (all grown now) and have been through the potty training 4 times over. My guess is the fact that your oldest daughter just became a big sister and is trying to adjust to not being the only child anymore and now has to share you with someone else, might be a little more than she can handle. I would suggest maybe just laying low on the potty training and giving your older child a chance to get use to having a sibling. Maybe in a month or so, you could reintroduce it to her. My kids are all 2 yrs. apart so I was going through the potty training stage each time I had another child. I remember struggling with both having a new baby and trying to conquer this too. When I did finally begin the process again, we were successful. I used marshmallows as rewards. I bought a bag of the minature marshmallows and everytime they would potty in the potty chair, they would get a marshmallow. I know not everyone would agree with this but I must say, it worked like a charm for all 4 of my kids. Good luck to you and congratulations on the new arrival.

A.

Hi A.,

My daughter simply refused to potty train after her first excitement over the potty wore off. Nothing worked. I could not enroll her in pre school because I wasn't sure she would be potty trained in time. It became a battle of wills. My pediatrician said not to worry about it. Kids really aren't ready until age 2. Told me to relax and asked me how many adults did I know who were not potty trained. Great perspective. As it turned out she announced on her third birthday she was done with pullups. And she was. No accidents either. Keep trying gently. She will get the hang of it.

My daughter loved going into the potty with me. I would sit her down on her potty wile I sat on mine. She wouldn't always take off her pants but she loved the one on one time with me. She started at about 9 months and after off again on again potty interest she was fully potty trained on her own by 3 years. I know it sounds like alot of work but the fact that I did not push her made it that much easier and enjoyable for her.

My daughter is almost 2, and a couple things have worked ok for us -- first, "special" diapers -- some brightly colored, soft fuzzy cloth diapers (from Blueberry Diapers co) that we put on her if she's gone pee in the potty. Of course this will really only work if you're doing (or want to do) Cloth Diapers.

Also -- putting her in underwear or trainers. When we were heavy on the PT train last month (before we all came down with a vile cold and then traveled, with pretty much derailed potty training) we simply put her in those Gerber soft trainers from Target. There were a couple messes but after a day or two she was reliably telling us before she peed enough to even wet through (and believe me, it doesn't take much to wet through those Gerber trainers), then we would put her on the potty and she'd pee in it.

I'd recommend the book "Diaper Free Before Three", which summarizes a lot of research on potty training and provides ways to deal with PT issues between 6 months and 3 years. I'm sure you'll get a lot of responses along the lines of "Just wait and she'll decide when she's ready" but there's really a lot of hard research showing that it's ok to work with your child on PT rather than just keep sending diapers to the landfill.

Follow her cues. If she doesn't want to do it, leave it alone. Everyone eventually learns to use the potty..... ;0.

My dd has been on again/off again with the potty. She loves reading books about going potty, has pee'd and poop'd in the potty, but it has to be HER idea or else she'll flip out. We decided (especially after reading a few books that encourage letting the child lead in this department) to just let her do it when she's ready. We talk about it, and I ask her from time to time, but if she says, "no", that's it. She still wears diapers (she won't even consider wearing pull ups or underwear) and is totally content with it.

I sympathize with wanting your daughter to be potty trained, but from what I've read and from stories I've heard, I'd say it's best to not push it. If she's telling you she's not interested, it's best to not turn it into a power struggle, in my opinion. :)

Good luck!

Each child is different. Just forget about it for a while. Use "pull-ups" so if she gets the urge it will be easier for her (and you) and a lot easier on YOU if she "forgets"!

Don't worry yet....most kids don't get this down until 3-4 years of age, even some kindergarteners still have accidents. I would just give her pull ups and wait 'til she's ready. You could try some encentive...princess panties, toys etc what ever floats her boat so to speak as a reward for 1 week of no accidents.hth

It is pretty typical for kids to stop using potty when a new sibling arrives. My advice is don't push it. I promise you that she will use it when she is ready. You can put a sticker chart in bathroom and give her a sticker every time she goes potty. These can be added up for a bigger price or grab from a grab bag of cheap little trinkets. Talk to her about her sib and how great it is that she is a big girl etc. It will happen!!!

Your daughter may be regressing becuase of your new baby. This can happen and all I can say is give her some time. You could try rewarding her with extra reading time or music time, what ever she likes best. I know that some friends used M&M's or small pieces of candy. I chose not to use sweets but used special time. It still took a while. Hang in there.

You say that your children are ages 2 years and 3 months. I am guessing that this change (where she stopped using the potty) coincided nicely with the birth of your second child? Many children who are potty trained will start needing diapers again when there is a big life change such as the birth of a sibling or moving to a new home, etc. Give her lots of love and lots of praise when she does try. Also, make sure she is getting one on one time with you everyday...even if it's just 15 or 30 minutes. I am guessing that she is adjusting to live being much different now and will start up again soon. Dont' try to force her because that can actually delay potty training. Also, don't make a big deal when she doesn't want to try. Do make a big deal when she tries and has success.