Potty Training - Plymouth Meeting,PA

Updated on June 07, 2010
A.G. asks from Plymouth Meeting, PA
12 answers

The age old Toddler dilemma - potty training. My three and a half year old boy is resisting the whole thing. Still wears diapers, and will pee in the potty when prompted to do so (holds it all night as well). But absolutely will not volunteer to go to the bathroom, and even wheh reminded and asked if he has to poop, refuses to poop in the potty. He will say he doesn't have to, and then 5 minutes later will poop in the diaper. I get the feeling it isn't a lack of awareness - he says he knows that poop goes in the potty, but rather seems like a big case of laziness - he simply does not want to stop what he is doing to use the potty. Any suggestions as to how to "train" a child who simply can't be bothered with the whole thing? So far our only plan has been constant reminding and asking him to use the potty in as low stress a manner as possible, and we have tried subtle "bribes" - i.e. he wants a dog so we tried holding that out as a reward for potty use. No dice.

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So What Happened?

Thanks, Moms! We have thought about the "all or nothing" approach of just removing the diapers and seeing what happens. I also like the M and Ms thing. Thanks again one and all.

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answers from Evansville on

I had a jar of M&Ms on a high shelf in the bathroom. (And I am totally against bribes and giving toddlers candy. WHATEVER. IT WORKED.) If my daughter pooped in the potty she got an M&M. If it was a big poop, she got 3 M&M's. If she went on her own, unprompted, she got 2 M&M's. It worked with jellybeans, too. Eventually, we "forgot" about the candy.
I tried the stickers and she looked at me like I was retarded. ;)

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answers from Chicago on

same thing here. We have a 'star chart' and he just doesn't care.....we've tried ignorning so he'll do it on his own, sticker chart, star chart. He goes all day at daycare with no accidents and goes on his own. At home it's a different story.

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answers from Las Vegas on

Do u have my son-My son who is almost 3 1/2 will pee on his own and stays dry all night, but will not go poop in the potty-only in his diaper. My advice is PATIENCE PATIENCE PATIENCE!!!!!!! Although I am sure u will get many responses on different ways, but I believe kids will do things when they want to-NOT when we want them to-the more u push the more they resist and the more stress and frustration u show and they feel the worse it is. Just my advice. L.:)

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answers from Philadelphia on

To me the solution will be: Training pants. Get rid off the diapers, unless you want to use them for bed time. Make him feel uncomfortable. It will be probably messy for a while, but I think it might work, since he is very aware of the issue with number 2 and the potty.

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answers from Chicago on

We are going through this with our daughter. SAME thing! We have even told her we will take her to Disneyland. No luck!
A few friends told me to go to the dollar store and get a bunch of cheep toys. I might do that. If I do, I am just going to take the diapers off. No pull-ups. Just undies. If she pees in the potty, she gets a toy. If she pees in her pants, no toy, just change her and move on. I guess their kids caught on over a weekend. We'll see!
Good Luck!!

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answers from Philadelphia on

My son will be three next month. I am potty training him right now. When I am at home with him he has no diaper or underware on. He has a elmo potty to poop and pee in. Have you tried a child training potty? My son told me a few weeks ago he had to poop and he wanted a diaper. I told him no go in his elmo potty and I would buy him a pillow pet. Two minutes later he pooped in the potty and got excited and told me. We went to the mall a short while later,got a pillow pet and went on a train ride to celebrate. Since then he goes in the potty both ways. I have may be changed 2 poop diapers in the past 2.5 weeks,when his tummy was upset. If you are at home with him then tell him no diapers you need to go in the potty. Take him to walmart or target and have him pick out a potty and buy him big boy underware. Give him stickers or whatever it takes when he goes make a big deal out of it. Make a chart and give one star for pees and two stars for poops. When he gets enough stickers get him what he really wanted. Remember ,you have to be the one to hold out and not give in when he knows that he will go. Do not buy pull ups, I think those resemble diapers and are very confusing.



answers from Harrisburg on

I had the same problem with my son. He was still not going on his own at age 4. Here is what I learned with him. First, I stopped asking him if he has to go. I just told him to go, whether he thought he had to or not. I told him to go as soon as he got up in the morning, after meals and right before bed in the evening. Then, about 4 months after he turned 4, I just made him go completely bottomless while at home. With him, that was the trick. About 1-2 weeks of that and he was finally daytime trained.

Hope this helps.



answers from Lansing on

LOL...I have four kids ages now 18-12 boys and girls. Each sex offers it's own challenges when potty training. I can tell you hands down the thing that did work for us (once we were sick of blackmail eeerr..rewarding, asking, threatening ect) REGULAR underwear! It is messy but it doesn't take long for them to hate the "feeling" and start using the potty. We'd only use pull ups at night. Got rid of all diapers.
I heard years ago the poop thing is a control issue. They feel like they are being pushed to do something "unnatural" to them and they have no control over the situation. So they "control" bowel movements. I don't know if it is true or not. Try the old fashioned way..sometimes they are still the best way! Good Luck!



answers from Portland on

My grandson is terribly interested in whatever he's doing all the time, and doesn't want to stop to use the potty. We've addressed this several ways, all of which make the bathroom an attraction to him.

The bathroom is filled with dinosaurs, and he'll have to come in to: wrestle them out of there; teach them how to wash hands/claws; show them how to take turns. And so forth.

Suggest he take the toy of the moment with him. Cars and transformers are good for this approach.

Race him to the bathroom. Or suggest a new, attractive activity that he can start as soon as he pees.

There have been half a dozen other solutions over the past year that slip my mind. But once he realizes using the potty isn't a total drag, it does become easier for him to take himself more frequently. I think too often kids are left with the sense that it's almost punitive to go, because parents push, nag, threaten, whatever, and the child has to go off by himself to do the boring deed.



answers from Philadelphia on

We are going through the same thing with our son - same age!!! It's so frustrating! I have been trying the diaper off at home thing for the past few days. Poop on the carpet yest - ugh!!!!! I look forward to reading all the advice other moms have to offer!!!



answers from Pittsburgh on

We also did the naked route and it worked within days. Of course they (the 3 year old) has to be on board with it, but you can play it up in the days beforehand, like it's this great big fun thing you'll do at home. And let's be honest, 3 year olds are still pretty much okay with being naked all day long. Our bribe of choice was Wii games (certain ones for certain potty activities). The Wii games (or M&Ms for that matter) seemed to work for him because it was an immediate reward. You just have to find your child's currency (as one Mom put it to me). M&Ms didn't work for my son, but it's the same theory. Good luck!


answers from Williamsport on

My first took forever because of the diapers. There was no need to change the comfy status quo. For my second I busted out the mop and the big boy underwear from the start, and after a whole day of him crying in messy pants and me cleaning up puddles, he's already starting to "get it". At 3 1/2, your son's habit is super ingrained. You have to get messy and get tough! People say to keep it low key and all, but after a certain point, the habit gets way too hard to break. Not all kids volunteer to start doing it themselves. Good luck!

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